Humorous and funny Hurt poems and/or funny poems about Hurt. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Hurt funny poems!
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
abuse, anti bullying, flower, funny, garden, hurt
sting bee
i knew a bee that could sing
it worked for a queen and king
but they preferred honey
and paid it no money
now it sings backup for sting.
Written by
Eve Roper
Categories:
humorous, hurt,
Pleasure Hike Tanka 2
Beautiful forest
Hiking with brave friends I trust
I hopscotch across
River rock, slippery moss
Fell on my butt, soaking wet
I'm such a dumb klutz
Everyone laughs their guts off
Wow! That hurt my butt
Screwed up. No clothes I regret
Walked around soaking wet
By: Eve Roper 1/14/2015
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, hurt, sleep,
Ouch - Little White Lies
My hubby just fell out of bed
He banged his elbow and his head
Now I can hear groaning
Expletives and moaning
I’m certain that he isn’t dead!
Only the first line is true – last night we watched a programme on how easily people lie but on this occasion I would call this poetic licence
10/10/18
Written by
Mary Rotman
Categories:
betrayal, conflict, funny, heartbreak, hurt, lost love
Nuclear-Free Zone
You should know that I've
reinforced the bunker
I built around my heart
until it can withstand a
direct hit
ground zero
head-on collision
from a YOU-bomb.
I've shielded it to withstand
the worst Emotional Mutilation Potential
you can generate
and to protect me from
the flash burns of passion,
Not to mention that I've lined it with lead
to save me from the fallout
of your so-called love.
So-
hit me with your worst.
My bunker--and I-- are ready.
Written by
CayCay Godwin
Categories:
body, boyfriend, clothes, funny, hurt, lust
My Pinged Pong
My eager man bought me a wee thong
which I put on to best get along
but rubbing bugging attacks
soon whacked my fore and aft crack.
My pinged pong found his dingdonged thong wrong.
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
hockey, humorous, hurt,
Aladdin Without Paddin'
There once was a boy named Aladdin
Who played hockey without any paddin'
He forgot to duck
And got struck by the puck
Now a cast is what Aladdin's clad in
Written by
Kory Calhoun
Categories:
funny
That Must'Ve Hurt
There once was a young man from New Paltz
Who performed tricks at bowling league halls
One day with his yo-yo
His teammates screamed: "OH, NO!"
When the darn toy got caught 'round their balls!
For Deborah Guzzi
There once was a man from Dunkirk contest
Written by
Matthew Wetter
Categories:
body, funny, hurt, sick,
Parasites
Bugger off Shingles!
Go away fleas! I don't need
Itchy skin disease!
Written by
Jerry T Curtis
Categories:
age, humor, hurt,
Here's One For the Older Soupers
Last week my foot was hurting
The next day was my neck
after that my shoulder
I've sure become a wreck
Currently my knee hurt
but I know it won't for long
It's sure to be forgotten
as a new pain comes along
Written by
Faleshia Murphy
Categories:
funny
Naps Hurt
I took a nap on the sand at the beach
A little tan was the goal to reach
Didn't realize I was that sleepy
Until my body burned completely
Went from being light skin to peach
FOR YOUR SNOOZE YOU CHOOSE CONTEST
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
for him, humorous, hurt, spoken word,
The Truth Hurts
He’s adept at not mincing his words
Venom flows like enormous great turds
On his throne he will sit
Vitriol he will spit
Packs a punch in the heart of us birds
Some may know a man just like this
Words like fists - he slams us a kiss
He is cruel; he is curt
Using speech that could hurt
His sharp words you cannot dismiss
Can’t control what flows out from his mush
To the point - he won’t beat round the bush
There’s no compromise
No little white lies
Tells you straight that you’ve got a huge tush!
N/A in contest judged on 6/27/16
Submitted to I go Zero,Nothing, Nada 1 sponsored by Broken Wings
06~24~16
Written by
Chris Hagy
Categories:
crazy, funny, hurt, irony, perspective, strength
The Busted Hitch Hiker
I never thought I’d be the one
To injure, re-injure, and re-injure my own thumb
First time crushed between horse and steel fence
Second time bitten by a cat in defense
Third time sadly was self inflicted
An accident of course…
None the less thumb thinks vindictive
This time though it’s nice to know
That I am self dependant…
I licked my wound and stitched myself
Saving the cost of the Corporate Medical Boss
A little self- med and off to bed…
I wonder when poor thumb will fall off?!
Written by
Volodymyr Knyr
Categories:
health, hero, humorous, hurt, men, mythology
Achilles' Heels
There's no any Achilles' heels
that Hippocrates always heals.
Volodymyr Knyr
2014
Written by
Mike Martin
Categories:
hilarious, how i feel, humor, humorous, hurt, mythology
Miguel
he knows what they want
he always figures it out
miguel of the south
as the days went by
the masses grew in number
they tore down the walls
they flocked from the hills
and from the moors in the south
from the regal halls
they saw the whole thing
beheld the proclamation
the solemn promise
then he woke up
hardly a truck to be found
dang me, oh, dang me
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
history, homework, humorous, hurt, school, teacher
Proof I Am Useless At Drawing
Written on schoolwork
‘Boadicea didn't fight Martians’
Teacher was cruel
I was only about 8 years old and the teacher had actually written that phrase on my history schoolwork and I was mortified. I look back now and think how cruel it was as I had tried my best but I really am useless at art
02~15~17
Written by
L Milton Hankins
Categories:
humorous, hurt, words,
Oafs
Occasional snide words
Often bruise small egos
Once said cannot retract
Or repair damage done
Odd, this always works out
Old hurts will hear me spout
Oafs make this sad mistake!
FOURTH PLACE WINNER
Written April 3, 2021
Entered "Pleiades - O" Contest
Sponsored by Kim Merryman
Written by
Perry Mcdaid
Categories:
business, emotions, humor, hurt, irony, money
Free Lunch
FREE LUNCH
Poet, they name me, and then ask for a verse:
Especial for someone they hold in their hearts;
Rarely considering my oft empty purse -
Really a wallet, he muttered, self-conscious -
Yet brand stores for blank cards: them they’ll reimburse.
Muted thanks mumbled by even the staunchest
Coolly avoiding the pockets at haunches.
Dubious looks given freely instead
As they wonder how I can walk in their heads;
Incisively dredging soul-secrets to fore.
Dismiss me entirely until they want more.
Written by
David Aaron
Categories:
care, cheer up, humor, humorous, hurt, wife
Forty
Break a leg means good
luck right up until you do
really break a leg
Written by
Alfonso II Warally Ngengethe Mussabwa Chris
Categories:
12th grade, death, feelings, funny, hurt, metaphor
Sicknesses In Action
Bp is up
Tb is breaking
Asthma closes up ?
Ebola is exterminating
HIV is viral
Cancer is cutting
Diabete is destroying
Corona is crushing
Malaria is messing.
People are crying
Hurting
Dying daily
Here and there.
May 06/2023
By Alfonso Warally Ngengethe
Mussabwa Chris
Written by
Chris Boskovski
Categories:
hilarious, hurt, love,
When I Fell In Love
When I fell in love,
I fell down hard cutting my knee,
It hurt like hell Damn!
Written by
David Aaron
Categories:
friendship, funny, humor, hurt, pain, wife
Sixteen
This was tibia
The best day you ever had
Means bust foot forward
Written by
David Aaron
Categories:
care, cheer up, fun, humor, hurt, imagery
Twenty Four
The limb that itches
sheds its cocoon and reveals
a thin hairy leg
Written by
Panagiota Romios
Categories:
humor,
Hurt Feelings
Off a lovely brown horse, I once fell off!
My derrière in pain why did friends scoff?
5/10/2022
Written by
Kevin Shaw
Categories:
character, dog, humorous, hurt, mother, word play
Don'T Bite the Postman
Don't bite the Postman
Please don't bite the Postman,
With those yellowing canine teeth.
He only wants to deliver our mail,
Not feel your sharp nip beneath.
We've known him now, all these years,
So, shower with kisses and smother,
He only wants to deliver the mail,
Please don't bite him Mother.
Written by
Linda Alice Fowler
Categories:
funny, humorous, hurt, husband, silly, voice
Kill the Shrill
there was a young man from Seville
whose wife's voice was chillingly shrill
he said please shut up
he’d more than enough
sending him looking for advil!
(caveat: no endorsement of product intended)