Humorous and funny Ireland poems and/or funny poems about Ireland. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Ireland funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Ireland Poems.
appreciation, beauty, humorous, ireland, universe,
Dramatic prose for the pompous asses
I throw my Platos at you
If you come any closer
I will Socrates you right in the nose
Demands, demands!!!! The clowns now have demands?
I say, rise up oh poets of the infinite dot universe
Proclaim the revolution a new
Justify our fight with words wrapped in doo doo
When I see a condescending donkey trip on his verbatim
I laughs cause I know he will fall into Satan's den
I am at eleven, usually a sober man
I carry my saber high and shout "Ekphrasis I don’t give a bloody damn"
Infinite ............................ Universe
holiday, humor, humorous, ireland, irony,
I lost my old bucket so sadly,
And felt oh so terribly badly;
Then lo and behold
A pot full of gold!
I'd lose me another and gladly.
humorous, ireland, rain,
There once was a driver from Uber
Who really only owned a scooter
So when it rained
His passengers complained
So now he has no more commuters
Couldn't let a St Paddy's day go by without a wee limerick!!
Jerry T Curtis
fish, fishing, funny, humor, humorous, ireland, vacation,
Finn and Mcgee
went fishing once more
With the money they saved up all year
They rented a cabin
up by the lake
And filled it with fish bate and beer
For two weeks of fishing
They made it their mission
To wake up and start at first light
With poles in their hands
They hardly could wait
For a big fish to come up and bit
Day after day
They fished and they fished
but barely got even a nibble
Then on the last day
McGee caught a trout
That apparently wasn't so fickle
Now on the way Home
Finn said " McGee
You Know what this fish, has cost you----
---A thousand Quid"
"Well Finn, if it did
Then I glad I didn't catch two"
food, humor, ireland,
IRISH GIRL LOVE SONG
Don't love an Irish girl.
She's gonna do you wrong.
She's a hard hearted woman
and she won't stay home.
I got some Irish blood
in my family tree.
But I wouldn't love an Irish girl
For the life of me.
I ain't no leprechan,
but I'm on the run
cause a hard hearted Irish girl
wanted me for fun.
I lived on Irish stew
it was six days old,
cause she wasn't home long enough
to warm it. I ate it cold.
© ron wilson aka ron arbuthnot
aka vee bdosa the doylestown poet
celebration, funny, ireland, , cute,
My acushla,* today only kiss
this cute Leprechaun with drunken lips!
I drink lots of green beer,
sit next to me and cheer!
My cuishle, don't make them boo and hiss!
* acushla: darling
* cuishle: dear
funny, hello, horse, ireland, race,
There was a young jockey from Ireland
Booked to ride the race horse, grey diamond
he wanted to be seen
painted grey diamond green
and kissed the Blarney Stone for Ireland.
A leprechaun grants me three wishes—it’s my lucky day!
But for my ex he’ll double each gift--much to my dismay!
Not at all deterred
And for the last and third
I say beat me to death just half way
humor, imagery, inspiration, ireland, march, poetry,
"Kiss me, I'm Irish," he says
leprechaun, thinks he's all that
then, wiggles his tongue.
Copyright © Cynthia Jones
Jerry T Curtis
drink, humor, humorous, ireland, irony, mother,
Shawn walked in the local pub
and sat down by McGee
Shawn spoke softly in his ear
But McGee did not agree
He shook his head and waved his drink
As his voice was getting loud
When McGee insulted Shawn
It silenced the whole crowd
McGee slurred out one insult
followed by another
while knocking back another pint, said
"I Slept with your dear mother"
The crowd wide eyed and wondering
That sure would make Shawn mad
But Shawn just took him by the arm, said
" You're drunk, let's go home Dad "
art, beautiful, humorous, introspection, ireland, wine, women,
Poetry is the fashion
The pope, the last bastion
Out with the old
In with the aborted
Crowds gather in anticipation
Poet Arthur recites To Patrick's Nation
England you see
Believes in the Orange and the free
They shout and they cheer
His fans are waiting for whiskey dear
Redheads filled with dragon tempers
A delight to Arthur's Kingdom of pleasure
Buried among the Scottish thistle
One day yee shall find the orange rose
that tickles ones fancy
dog, drink, funny, humorous, ireland,
'When Irish eyes are smiling',
sang the midwife, gleefully,
as she handed me a bundle,
and revealed that it was 'She'.
A baby, with the darkest hair,
blue eyes, that shone like sea,
here lay this little person,
blessed with Irish ancestry.
A girl no longer now, alas,
she's long since flown the nest,
so I replaced her swiftly,
with 2 Greyhounds, I don't jest!
Faye Shannah and Pigalle Blue,
an Irish racing pair,
but you can safely visit me,
unless you are a hare!
You could come for coffee?
and bring a Cake to finish,
actually, I love real ale,
but never, ever, Guinness!
Cheryl Yvonne Darby (Cyd)
Jerry T Curtis
funny, humorous, ireland,
Nach Bhfuil Mo Locht
or for you English speaking people
"No Mea Culpa"
The Titanic was fine when it left Belfast
Not a blemish on Her hull, or on her deck
The crew must have done something awful
"Cause now She's a tangled twisted wreak
In mint condition, She was when She left us
We washed and polished Her to shine
Then we went to a pub, to drink some whisky
singing in a chorus, Auld Lang Syne
You can't blame us Irish for what happen
"Cause we went home and slept the night away
"The Titanic was fine when it left Belfast"
At least, that's what we Irish say
There once was a laddie from Galway
Lassies asked if he wore green, he said, “No way,”
I’m not trying to be smart,
It’s tattooed o'er my heart
But feel free to give me a pinch anyway!
For the “It’s All About Wearing the Green—The Limerick” Contest
Sponsor: Skat A
character, humorous, ireland,
What a beautiful concept
A box to put chat in
Another pigeon for the common man
Labels so easily fit
When one seriously thinks of it
Just imagine it if you will
A box to lock gossips in
To kill their cackle
To tighten their loose tongues
To make them quiver a little less
But not I begin to digress
Sometimes I am guilty of their sin
To rant to rave
To become a slave to the shallow
Listening to their vile attempts
To bring humanity to its lowest ebb
A chatterbox indeed would be handy in times of woe
To silence my myriad foes
books, humor, imagination, ireland, men, poetry, silly,
Livid I was when that nincompoop
stained that page of my book
with tomato sauce, while eating
oh! How horrible! How horrible!
It was just a little dot but still;
definitely not easy to tolerate,
since I am a bibliophile,
enamoured with poetry and essays,
being my idols William Topaz McGonagall
and the Irish-speaker Robert Wilson Lynd!
Oh! It was just a little stain which
blurred no text, made nothing illegible,
but still! My anger ceases not
and I call that man a true clown!
funny, humor, ireland,
Let’s dress up in green! It’s a cinch!
You don’t have to cover each inch.
We’ll dance on green hillocks
among all the shamrocks!
Come on or I’m going to pinch!
B. Joseph Fitzsimons
drink, humor, ireland,
Last night I heard the banshee,
After a few swigs of whiskey,
And after I heard her scream,
I poured some Bailey's and cream.
Now I cannot hear her nor see.
Jerry T Curtis
bereavement, dark, death, humor, humorous, husband, ireland,
Right after Mass
Stepped out of the church
And as she walked passed
Father McGee, couldn't help see
That Mary was shedding a tear
With the kindest of hearts
He wasn't quiet sure,
Where, he should start
The silents was broke, when McGee finally spoke
"What, is the problem, My Dear"
"Father forgive me
But late last night
My husband died sudden,
Right there in my sight"
McGee stood in shock, and barely could talk
Until he could work past the fear
"I know it's hard
But please do your best
Where there any last words
Or final request"
"Yes, 'PUT DOWN THAT GUN', while starting to run
But I'm not sure I heard him that clear"
Robert Andrew Lyle
drink, funny, ireland,
I gaze across this land so green
With wonder and delight
I pause a moment and I think
When's opening time tonight
I'll just pop in and have a pint
And maybe if I see
A friend or two at the bar
Sure that would make it three
Then I would have to buy one back
So that would make it four
It won’t be very long now
'Till I'm lying on the floor
And sure that’s not a bad thing
It saves the legs you know
From all that standing at the bar
Until it's time to go
And if I lie here long enough
That too would be fine
I'll be first in the queue tomorrow
Ready for opening time
O’Leary poured the draught with finesse
O’Brien slid to the floor for some rest
passed out so quick
foam thick on his lip
Ah, the shame of an unfinished Guinness
John G. Lawless
Robert L. Hinshaw
'Tis said Saint Patrick rid Erin of snakes
If such is true what a great tale it makes
Skeptics claim it ain't true
Others haven't a clue
Could be a scam like the Irish Sweepstakes
addiction, friendship, funny, happiness, ireland, nonsense, wisdom,
A JOKE IN A POEM
Sat me down in a bar one day,
Paddy and Seamus said "G'day!"
Barmaid said, "Here's your beer,"
I replied, "Thanks, my dear."
Many the hours of chats and beers,
Many the beers, many the beers.
Paddy asked, "Tell me, me dears,
Why did God make beer?"
"Dunno," we said, "Ask the barmaid here!"
"Why did God make beer?"
Barmaid said, passing out beers,
"To make men happy, my dears'
Have more beers, cheers!"
"Quote of the year, quote of the year!"
"Bring that barmaid over here."
"Who's for more beers, me dears?"
Many a cheer, many a cheer.
cat, drink, fun, funny, humorous, ireland, silly,
There was a dame from Westminster,
Who lived her life as a spinster.
She was old and gray,
Yelled at cats all day,
And that is why no one missed her.
celebration, fun, funny, humor, humorous, ireland,
There once was an entrepreneur
An Irish born rank amateur
He made garden chairs
Outdoor tables I swear
His name was Paddy O'Furniture
Written 14th March 2017
Entry to "luck of the Irish limerick" contest
Notes: happy St Patrick's day to all my fellow Irish men and women