Funny James Poems - Funny Poems for Life

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Humorous and funny James poems and/or funny poems about James. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious James funny poems!

Written by Arthur Vaso
Categories: humorous, life, love, romance,

James Bond the Poet

Double oh Sevens
The gamble of dangerous men
Poets who carry guns
To shoot out the hearts
Of unsuspecting ladies
A single word, a bullet
That can wound or kill the love
Of any careless romance
Yet they fall at the feet
Of mystery and sweet words
And later in the evening
Tears flow from ladies of sadness
Left alone among the sheets of love
The Spy, he could save the world
Yet save not one single love
He grew old and alone
His last thought among the living
I die a lover, and never felt love

Written by Charles Messina
Categories: humorous,

The Graves of Jesse James

Two empty coffins...with unknown names 
Saved for the unfortunates...of Jesse James 
Made for the men, they say...Jesse killed 
Only a matter of time, they'll both...be filled 


An Epitaph To Make Me Laugh Poetry Contest 
Sponsored by Jesse Rowe 
4-22-2019

Written by James Peranteau
Categories: funny,

You Tarzan Me James

.

             Across the fairy
                    oops
              I mean prairie
         I touched mine groin
               I mean loin
                    cloth 
            as I took a peek
             I mean peach
            over to Tarzan’s 
                     hut
   




um...

Written by James Fraser
Categories: funny, life, future,

Jurassic James

My name is Jurassic James
An ageing Dinosaur it seems
Middle aged I have hit
Quite frankly it's ****
Take me back to twenty to dream

Wonderful, I'm now back to that time
Playing pool and every things fine
I'm out with the boys
Getting pissed and enjoying
Meeting girls and being so entwined

Then there was the night one met
The right one my future was set
Now married with kids
My pool days now rid
Decisions made, now no regrets

Now back to the future we go
A dark horse now starts to show
What's fixed is now broken
Jurassic James has now spoken
I'm now free and single you know









http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/me-3.php

Written by Andrew Holt
Categories: funny, games, giggle,

A Young Man Named James

There once was a young man named James
Who was good at most boring board games
Excepting for "Clue"
Because he didn't know who
Dunnit because he forgot the names

Written by Timothy Hicks
Categories: humorous,

James Cameron

James Cameron made it big with Avatar
Again and again he raised the bar
The film was tremendously beautiful
But the plot was unoriginal

But of course who could forget Titanic?
Lenny plus heartbreak equals a classic!
I've seen the ending, but that's not the point
My girl swears that it won't disappoint

Like or smite, have to admit you crave more
Jimmy's is where it's at whether you're
A fan of trees that store mem'ries aglow
Or Leonardo DiCaprio

Written by Carolyn Devonshire
Categories: funny, people, sensual,

James Fraser

A proud Highlander from Scotland, our friend James Fraser

His sensual renderings we’ve all come to treasure

In steamy writes, he awards beauties with flowers

But after reading his poetry, I need cold showers 


*For John Freeman's "Giggle Poetry" Clerihew contest

Written by Sidney Hall Mad Poet
Categories: funny

007 James Bond

As an agent I always get my mark
This job was done by day but they usually done when it is dark
I sail with my parachute to the ground
Gonna spend my million pound
I see what looks to me like, CROCS,  what the …k!!!!



"To Die For" Limericks

Written by Linda Alice Fowler
Categories: fun, funny, halloween, humor, humorous,

Channeling James Bond

There once was a timid young mummy
His attire incredibly crummy
	He draped a dinner jacket
	across his golden casket
Now the pretty ghouls are more chummy

Written by Oliver Mckeithan
Categories: humorous,

Melvin James Brooks

Melvin James Brooks
wasn’t one to cook the books
with movie making he was bold
and gave us comedies that broke the mold

Written by James Peranteau
Categories: french, humor,

james' hips

.

         "rock"

          Bam

   i meant "paper"

       "scissors"

        yes i did






*Note: 11/2009 i wrote here;
"hot little hips" yep, it's the eyes
 then the hips ;)

Written by Caren Krutsinger
Categories: humorous,

James Fuchsia Bachelor Pad

James did not invite a lot of guests
they had to know him better than the rest
his mother had decorated his apartment nest
in hot pinks and fuchsia, a friendship test

he had protested when he had first seen his lair
I am the expert, his mother said, to be quite fair
she also wanted to give overeager girlfriends a scare
staying over meant that they probably did really care