Humorous and funny Jealousy poems and/or funny poems about Jealousy. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Jealousy funny poems!
Written by
Mike Hauser
Categories:
heartbreak, humor, jealousy,
Charles Bukowski Ate My Girlfriend
Charles Bukowski ate my girlfriend
He started with her head
Fiddled with her like finger food
Putty in his hands
Charles Bukowski took my girlfriend
Slapped her hard upside the face
Now she likes it dirty
So this poets been replaced
I'd like to say so long Charlie
As far as I'm concerned
You can hit the literary highway
Never to return
Charles Bukowski took my girlfriend
And showed her a good time
As I'm watching from the shallow end
Of my kiddie pool of simple rhyme
Charles Bukowski ate my girlfriend
Chewed her up then spit her out
Now that good for nothing Charlie
Is all she talks about
Written by
Kevin Shaw
Categories:
animal, betrayal, character, funny love, humorous, jealousy
The Aardvark and the Pangolin
The Aardvark and the Pangolin,
Romantically, had been entwined.
But infidelity, was in the air,
Aardvark, had a new suiter in mind.
Pangolin, did challenge his rival,
The Anteater with beautiful snout.
Don’t fear for me, on your betrayal,
Sweet Armadillo, is taking me out.
Written by
Jerry T Curtis
Categories:
conflict, humor, jealousy, nonsense, silly, work
Steal This Poem Please
Steal This Poem Please
Please just steal this poem
and make this one your own
in plagiarizing poetry
you know you're not alone
If you think it's worth that much
you know what you should do
don't worry about the copyright
just say it's penned by you
Please just steal this poem
and publish it to boot
spread it round the nations
I don't give a hoot
The beauty of it all
You don't even need AI
But you can just press copy
Then Paste it on you site
Spend your time and trouble
making money with my work
So one day I can sue you
for all that you'll be worth
by JT Curtis (maybe ? )
Written by
Eric Nelson Manley Shelman
Categories:
feelings, hilarious, humor, humorous, irony, jealousy
Autocorrect Questions
The AutoCorrect Questions
What the ducking duck is going on?
What is up with this ducking duck?
What the he'll are you doing?
What the duck is this biach think she is ducking doing?
What the he'll were you ducking thinking about you ducking duck?
Are you ducking dead ducking serious biach?
What the ducking duck do you want from me ducking biach?
What the ducking duck do you want me to do about it biach?
Did we duck really good last night?
Do you even a flying duck about me you dumb ducking duck biach?
Why the duck are we even ducking date we both can't ducking stand each other?
What the ducking duck you ducking biach ask can't?
Written by
Dorian Petersen Potter
Categories:
funny, humorous, jealousy,
Nancy Kay Lee - Witty Epitaph
~Nancy Kay Lee~
(1712-1752)
Boston, Massachusetts
Herein lies a lady by the name of Nancy Kay Lee
Who just climbed a very tall tree.
A twig caught up her dress 'round
And she just fell all the way down.
Dorian Petersen Potter
Ladydp2000
Copyright@2014
10.4.2014
Written by
John Beam
Categories:
allegory, beauty, betrayal, culture, funny, jealousy
The Ginger Monster
Oh! but the jealous thing She has eyes flaming green How to quench what hell spurns Where envy and mischief does burn Revenge on her lips she's an Irish queen
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
change, conflict, fate, giggle, humor, jealousy
mcfee
once an elf named mcfee
tried to sleep in an tree
till its owl found out
and hooted a shout
mcfee you better flee.
Written by
James Fraser
Categories:
funny, people, work
Jealousy Jade
There's nothing worse than hogging the scene
It's even sadder that they have to be mean
To be seen and not heard
Is the truest of words
It's even worse when they turn a dull green
http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/humour-2.php
Written by
Gail Foster
Categories:
car, food, humorous, irony, jealousy, journey
Fly By
Past the layby fly
Cars with petrol in their tanks
Going home for tea
We're not going anywhere
Pancake flattened battery
by Gail
Written by
Michelle Born
Categories:
career, creation, fashion, funny, jealousy, life
Unique
The word Unique says it all to me
I chose it for my jewelry title because it was meant to be,
Call it what you want because your opinion doesn't matter
Due to my success in everything I do and I guess that makes you a mad hatter,
The proudness I feel when I create a unique piece of jewelry
People can be jealous that you seem a little bit blury,
So next time you are looking at my unique jewelry sites
Her jewelry is good due to all her face book likes.
Written By: Unique Poetry 2015
Written by
Jean Murray
Categories:
funny love, husband, jealousy, men,
Showdown
It's time for a showdown.
I saw him at the hoedown,
flirting with Missy Brown.
No wonder I have a frown.
He behaves like such a clown
when he's out on the town.
I'll whack him on the crown.
That'll bring him back down
to Earth with a bang!
Written by
John Beam
Categories:
allusion, grave, humor, jealousy, word play,
Flogging a Dead Horse
While snarkers strive with proud but fruitless disdain Wounded immortals try the slaying of the slain Quit beating the dead metaphor let it go and watch it roll down hill
Written by
Faith Carmichael
Categories:
cute love, funny, happy, jealousy, love, music
Concert For One
You ask me to come to one of your gigs
Every Thursday over a pint at The Hop
I politely decline
Every Thursday
You sat there dressed in plaid and denim
Your lips curl over the glass
Well I couldn’t possibly watch
Them curl over a microphone
In front of all those people
I prefer a concert for one
Sat in my backyard
Dancing to songs of your travels
With cigarette in hand,
The only one listening
Selfish I know
But you make me that way
Written by
Mary Rotman
Categories:
absence, betrayal, break up, funny, humor, jealousy
Minimalist Jilt
(fromThe John Poems)
Then I loved you
Now I don’t
Once I would
Now I won’t
You were here
Now you’re gone
No one left
To mow my lawn
Lock’s been changed
Key’s been hid
Phone’s unplugged
Heart’s up for bid
You were mine
Now you’re hers
On your head
I place a curse
Written by
Michelle Born
Categories:
care, hate, humor, irony, jealousy, success
The Reality
Tread lightly and always be aware
That there will always be jealousy out there,
Their whole world evolves around what they want and need
By criticizing others for their likes and not just greed,
To many haters are jealous of others success
So they are not happy and then get depressed,
Because they are lazy and don't want to work
They are to blame so they acted like jerks.
Written By: Unique Poetry 2015
Written by
Earl Schumacker
Categories:
betrayal, conflict, humorous, jealousy, marriage, passion
A Chantage the Betrayal
A Chantage
Extortion matters change the air to ice
The price of blackmail and betrayal
A heavy spice served up with delight
Wife and friend in bed together
Not playing cards or knitting sweaters
Things could be worse
I’m happy to find them first
Not in reverse
My mistress and I found in bed
Not reading books but doing each other
Now that’s a different matter!
And takes another course… not in divorce
My wife, who’s French, has quite the temper
And thinks along the lines, she should dismember
Instead of losing money in this dubious matter
My head’s served up on a silver platter
Written by
John Conde
Categories:
abuse, anger, baby, evil, hate, hilarious
Covert Jealousy
Haters are fans in disguise
And what takes up alot of there time
Is talkin about people
That are not there equal
& For that to be so
They'd have to learn how to climb
What really upsets me
Is not what they say
It's just the fact that
most of It is based on envy
Your own progression
Leads them to question
There personal value
And all that does is depress them
I have a suggestion
Maybe stop all the hating
Do a 180
And start congradulating
Written by
Reason A. Poteet
Categories:
11th grade, humor, jealousy,
Loyal Enemy
turkety, lurkety
Saul, king of Israel
green-eyed with envy shouts,
“I’ll cut your throat.”
groundless, irrational
obsessitivity.
David, the next king squeals,
“I cut your coat.”
January 4, 2020
Contest: 'Double Dactyl (Win For Paid Membership)'
Sponsor: William Kekaula
Written by
Esha Sharan
Categories:
emotions, giggle, humor, jealousy, simile,
Barbie
Sight of fake smiles drew
'You look like barbie' , I said
Dumb, she smiles proving.
Written by
Anna Hopper
Categories:
humor, jealousy, judgement,
Snooty Fruit
A pineapple in a bowl of kiwi
Stand tall and proud, mom said
But I would rather, they didn’t see me
Standing high, above their heads
Mother was always so proud
Of my textured skin and headdress
I found it, unbecoming and loud
Standing apart from all the rest
How incredibly awkward
Being the center of every display
Just once, I’d like to be offered
A big enough bowl, to lay
It occurred to me, just recently
The color beneath their skin
Is bold and green with envy
Which explains my lack of friends
Written by
Christopher Bowen
Categories:
england, fun, humorous, jealousy, smile,
Avoirdupois
Avoirdupois
The endomorph enjoys our affection
as the comic figure of tradition.
Friar Tuck, Falstaff, and Old Toby
recall rotund revels and ribaldry.
Devils are always portrayed as thin.
the clown invariably has a double chin.
Unlike the hero, who's always victorious,
his wind and walk are somewhat laborious.
Though he's never very heroic,
who honestly ever loved a stoic?
Confronted by his conviviality
cynics think rather jealously:
'It's just that unlike the lean
he's much too slow to be mean.'
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
giggle, jealousy, silly, visionary,
Clouds, Towels and Bedspreads
Many see figures up in the clouds
I see them in towels and bedspreads
My family groans and says, 'Dunderhead'
~ Jealous of the fun I have in bed
Written by
Nick Armbrister Jimmy Boom Semtex
Categories:
hilarious, jealousy, love,
Cry Scry
from SELL OUT
Nick Armbrister
Cry Scry
She loves him beyond compare
He loves her beyond his eyeballs
She moans and complains
He swears and bangs about
They belong together
In Karmic ways met along
The old factory road
She’s his girlfriend a year
Same attitude as his wife
Who he loathes with passion
While passionately ing his lover
Wife and girlfriend mostly the same
One he loves other he hates
Why this way what is the cause?
Greek gods and goddesses up high
Take away their scrying bowl
Written by
Linda Alice Fowler
Categories:
flower, fun, humorous, jealousy, love hurts, rose
Twelve Roses
A single rose he gave to me
as sweet a gesture as could be.
My roommate grinned with guile
as she tried to hide her smile.
Eleven roses, she held with glee!
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
humor, jealousy, journey,
A Common Misconception About Inchworms
The inchworm's in no hurry
his vision's perhaps blurry
A journey of five meters
in ten hours, a world-beater
I'd like to go on record
to report they don't feel hectored
But per a reliable source
they envy snails, of course