Humorous and funny Judgement poems and/or funny poems about Judgement. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Judgement funny poems!
Written by
Greg Gaul
Categories:
fun, humor, judgement, metaphor, poetry,
Poetic Justice
I landed in Poet's Court
Caught me speeding in my Sonnet
They judged it a rhyme crime
According to the officer's pentometer
I was doing 50 in a 25 word zone
I'm pleading for comma relief
Hoping to be released to free verse
Under supervision of course
Fortunately there's no sentencing in poetry
Maybe they'll just revoke my poetic license
Written by
Leo Larry Amadore
Categories:
angst, culture, freedom, funny, introspection, judgement
What Fools
"You shall know the Truth, and the Truth
Shall make you free."
We wait for what will never happen;
the consequences of inaction
may overtake at any moment.
Vaguely felt suspicions foment,
feed uneasiness; words half-formed
hang in air, hover just out of reach,
didactic, but never really heard --
misunderstood, despised, ignored,
or ridiculed...One must not preach!
But harken back to days of yore:
attend, and hear repeated,
as before, and yet once more:
"What fools these mortals be!"
How perfectly descriptive -- of me!
Written by
Janice Canerdy
Categories:
humor, judgement,
Ya Shoulda Read the Fine Print, Bubba
I see that Bubba’s so forlorn.
He’s too depressed to talk today.
Two months in a full-body cast
can keep one’s cheerfulness at bay.
He donned his super hero suit
and took a header off the roof
(two-story!) Nothing broke his fall.
He lies now, silent and aloof.
He’d failed to read the tiny print:
“This suit can’t really make you fly.”
If he weren’t forty-five years old,
I’d feel compassion—even cry.
Date Written: January 29, 2018
Contest Title: Shoulda Read the Fine Print-2
Sponsor: John Lawless
Written by
Line Gauthier
Categories:
dance, funny, judgement, voice,
All Pirates Not Created Equal
Type casting Pirates of Penzance
Lining up those who’ll sing and dance
Some aced the illusion
Others beyond delusion
Laughing so hard I wet my pants
AP: 3rd place 2020, Honorable Mention 2020
Submitted on April 8, 2019 for contest PIRATE THEMED LIMERICK sponsored by TANIA KITCHIN - RANKED 4TH
Written by
Caren Krutsinger
Categories:
8th grade, funny, hilarious, humorous, judgement, write
Throwing Stones
Our distant cousin murders the English language every single time she trills.
WOYt is white, and Blah is black, and her long A’s can barely maneuver these hills.
AmbyEance means ambulance, and her R’s are a pure musician’s nemesis.
Uh-oh, here she comes, hiding behind a language couple, and she’s fully dressed.
Has she seen us? This cousin who has no idea that she’s a murderess through and through?
Oh, hi darling. We’d invite you to stay, but there’s only room in this restaurant for me and him, and these other two.
Written by
Terry Flood
Categories:
1st grade, 3rd grade, humor, judgement, poetry,
Stand Down, Shakespeare
I just tried out Soup’s grammar checker
It graded my work at just three
I smashed my IPad into pieces
You might say it kind of irked me
So I loaded up sonnet eighteen
(Compare thee to a summer’s day)
I copied and pasted that poem
Precisely as Shakespeare did say
Seems it’s a long way from perfect
For ‘owest’ he shouldn’t have said
And he’s gonna need to change ‘growest’
Alas, I believe Shakespeare’s dead
And then checker graded his writing
And set it at one point nine three
So what’s the big deal with this Shakespeare?
It seems he writes worser than me!
[Postscript: This epic ode achieved a 1.93: Cest la vie.]
Written by
Volodymyr Knyr
Categories:
humorous, judgement,
An Oral Law
A law is oral,
when it's on moral.
Volodymyr Knyr
2014
Written by
Gail Foster
Categories:
age, angst, feelings, humor, irony, judgement
Dissing Disney: Dismal Karma Sonnet
(a true story)
“Don’t make me go to Disneyland,” I cried
Fourteen years old with all the angst that brings
They made me go and something in me died
Depressed by all the fake and plastic things
The second time my parents made me go
Was in my twenties, Paris, lucky me
I sulked; I’m an aesthetic snob, you know
Too selfish to enjoy my children’s glee
The third time was the worst, the fuss I made
At thirty odd, made odder still by drink
I tried to run, got caught in a parade
The final Mickey piss take; now I think
I want to go to Dismaland! Bad luck
For can I get a ticket? Can I f**k!
by Gail
Written by
Earl Schumacker
Categories:
corruption, culture, humorous, judgement, murder, political
Ghost Gun
Ghost Gun
Officer Smart from Oxymoron
Was called to school one day
Johnny pee pants raised his hands
He was about to pray
Teacher yelled, “He’s got a gun!”
The cop shot Johnny dead
….Then read him his rights….
Years were spent on investigations
In hopes of finding a clue
The judge had called it a “Suicide”
Nothing else is new
Society went along for the ride
Thank goodness only one child died
Officer Smart from Oxymoron
Still searches the school today
Preventing crimes and looking for fingers
Loaded and ready to fire
A lesson can be learned from this
That is, where not to pray
Do it in church
Or else you’ll be cursed
By the guns of the Holy Ghost ire
Written by
Mike Martin
Categories:
analogy, how i feel, humor, judgement, philosophy, word play
Fear No Evil
see no evil
hear no evil
speak no evil
fear no evil
Written by
David Fisher
Categories:
animal, humorous, judgement,
Judge's Disclaimer
My friend, the judge, made this disclaimer
Since she worked with beasts, who could blame her
“In there it’s too rough
So I’ve had enough.
I’m done being a ly’in tamer!”
Written by
Veronica Aicher
Categories:
feelings, humorous, judgement,
My Wheelchair
I sit in a wheelchair every single day
I've learned to accept it because it has to be that way
There are people here that walk and criticize people like me
If they would only stop for one second
Then maybe they would see
That we are no different and would like to keep our dignity
Instead of criticizing your fellow woman or man
Show a little compassion and try to understand
For God only knows that someday they may be
In that dreaded wheelchair, exactly like me
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
beautiful, funny, judgement, political,
Ode To Bobby Pickett
They did the mash—they did the monster mash
In a field—in a field of trash
Republicans ain’t cool
Stink like a graveyard ghoul
One sick group—that we need to smash
Author's note: The limerick above can be recited to the rhythm of the Pickett hit song. I am supporting Bernie Sanders and hope he picks Elizabeth Warren for a running mate. The rest are fiends and zombies! This is not a joke.
Written by
Martin Kloess
Categories:
funny, humor, judgement, urban, words,
Now You Are the Judge In the Bench Tainter Case
Not saying this man was a saint
When benches let’s just say he’d taint
Imagine instead
What went through his head
When signs clearly said to wet paint
Written by
Bl Devnath
Categories:
fashion, feelings, humorous, judgement, self,
Other's Eyes Read Self
dress’s hidden language
dresser’s sense depicts from style
other's eyes read self
Written by
Christina Jewell
Categories:
humor, judgement, poverty,
A Hobo's Day
Shall I compare thee to a hobo's day?
Thou art more lonely and more desperate.
Rough winds do shake your cardboard box in May,
Your condo's lease had all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eyes of people shine,
And often are their coins so worthless still;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
To give up such a precious dollar bill.
But thy eternal poverty shall fade
You’ll lose possession of your alley home;
No death shall brag thou wand'rest in his shade,
Nor will you ever once be forced to roam,
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
A homeless shelter shall give life to thee.
Written by
Amy Sell
Categories:
humor, judgement, magic, people, perspective, prejudice
Magic Sunglasses
I have sunglasses that let you see
Only the things that you want to see!
"You're mistaken," you say,
"They're just regular shades!"
And I say, "That's my point precisely!"
Written by
Laura Dodd
Categories:
addiction, anger, fun, humor, identity, judgement
Insomnia
I love to drink coffee
And smoke cigarettes.
Deep into the night
Without fear or regret
I'll sip and I'll puff
And I'll try to forget
All those times I felt guilty for hours I spent
Drinking my java and smoking the rent.
'Course I'm not condoning a life
Lived like mine
Ignoring all instincts, enjoying all wine
But I'll go down fighting before I will say
That nights are for sleeping
And coffee's for day
And I know tobacco's a curse, aint it true?
But it’s my health I'm wrecking,
It’s me
It aint you.
Written by
Gail Foster
Categories:
bible, humor, irony, judgement, psychological, satire
Casting Stuff On the Waters
He cast a crouton on the water
Watched it sog upon the swell
What came back was lava bread
And Chelsea buns as well
She threw in an expensive cake
‘Twas softer than a futon
But what came back upon the waves
Was just a soggy crouton
© Gail Foster 2016
Written by
Teddy Kimathi
Categories:
art, humor, imagery, judgement, life, music
Second Chance
O, Judges...
Don't be too hasty in showing me the door;
I know it feels as though I'm a bore.
So many times I've played out of tune,
but I've been practicing since June.
I have nothing to pay my house bills;
yelling from my landlord kills.
The last job I really tried;
in frozen Alaska I almost died.
Please, give me another chance,
I prove to you my musical grace.....
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
giggle, judgement, romance,
If Looks Could Kill
~ Back in the Day ~
A young English major from Wisconsin
In passionate romance was ensconced in
She fell hard for a poet
Alas, he did not know it
Said: ‘You look just like Lady Bird Johnson!’*
____________________________________
*JIC (Just in case) you don't remember 'Lady
Bird,' she was the wife of President Lyndon
Baines Johnson (1960's). I wouldn't say she
was homely looking or anything, but ...
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
cry, funny, hate, heartbroken, humor, judgement
Nobody Likes My Poems, a Song
Nobody likes my poems
I do not know why
Think I'll grab a knife to stab
Myself in the eye.
Nobody likes my poems
I only sniff and pout
Think I'll soon pick up a spoon
And gouge my eyeballs out.
Written by
CayCay Jennings
Categories:
confusion, humor, imagination, judgement, language, nonsense
Amazeballs, Right
D azed
U nsure and
'M azeballs
B affled
D iligent
O bservations
N ervously
E ntangled
C lueless, contest
O ptimism
M anufactured
E ntry enthusiasm
... CayCay
2-22-2019
Written by
Dave Moore
Categories:
death, earth, fate, humorous, judgement, visionary
The Visionary
The Visionary
Some say we will never fly in cars
Yet, someday we may live on Mars.
I predict when all the icebergs melt
It was because the hot sun we felt.
And then it's not a surprise
your eyes will see the water rise.
Our food supply will begin to wane
Too many people makes it easy to explain.
And because of all that
War will come – it's a matter of fact.
Of course opioids and chemical sprays
May kill us all before that day.
Let's not forget the loss of honey bees
Goodbye flowers and fruit trees.
And too much CO2 makes it hard to breathe
Maybe Mars is the place to be.
Written by
Scott Kruize
Categories:
angst, cheer up, growing up, humor, irony, judgement
Ooh, Poor Baby
We all concede mere words just can't express
the depth of our dismay and our distress...
When we hear you whine, from face so mad and grim,
the Universe won't cater to your every whim!