Funny King Poems - Funny Poems for Life

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Humorous and funny King poems and/or funny poems about King. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious King funny poems!

Written by Tom Cunningham
Categories: humor,

Marmite Is King

Deb an Aussie girl swears by vegemite
Now personally I don't think she's right
She's got in her head
It's the only spread
But for me nothing on earth beats MARMITE





Written 3rd January 2022


Dedicated to Deb.

Written by Geoffrey Brewer
Categories: humorous,

King Louis

King Louis of France
Was looked on by many askance
Then the people said fooey to Louis
And made their selection: Chop Suey

Old King Louis got everything wrong
Told his wife in a touching swan song
“I think it’s for the best
Get it off of my chest”
Made his exit quite short, not so long

King Louis in or out of doors
Loved to dress in silky drawers

When asked  “Do they feel alright?”
He said: ”Yes, when they’re pulled up tight”


27 August 2019
Clerimerick Couplets Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Mark Toney

Written by Panagiota Romios
Categories: america, humorous,

Ah King Joseph Biden

Ah,  King Biden, thou dost lie to me!
When thou blamest Putin for everything from sea to sea!


             Dost my head look like it’s made of wood?
             Your thieving son, Hunter’s, probably could!


Why not tell our kingdom of the three houses in Delaware you own?
Of course, on CNN, these facts....shan’t ever be shown!


               It’s said you have much charm and charisma?
               Did you learn such grace, in the halls of Burisma?


Your progeny’s laptop, some purport has never been found?
It drowned, one moonlit night, I heard in Puget Sound.


                               4-1-2022

Written by Dorian Petersen Potter
Categories: funny, humorous,

King Arthur

(Limerick)

There once was an owl named Argonne
That read a lot of King Arthur and Avalon
Of Merlin & the sword of Power
Of Camelot, and all the square 
Knights, who sat 'round when Art call'd upon!


Dorian Petersen Potter
Aka ladydp2000
Copyright@2014


10.4.2014

Written by John Williams
Categories: children, funny,

Hungry King

The grand old king of Sweden's  
Appetite needed a lot of feedin,
Two cows and a horse
Were on his main course,
His appetite is no longer needin.

Written by Poet. Undertaker
Categories: humor,

Eighth Wonder-King Kong

Once there were two writer friends Wallace and Cooper.
Into novelization of the original King Kong film, no souper.
“Edgar Wallace didn't write any of Kong, not one bloody word...
I'd promised him credit and so I gave it to him” Cooper’s word
Bloody, informal discussions do worth acknowledgement Cooper!

Written by Jan Oskar Hansen
Categories: courage, humor,

The Spanish King and I

The King and I
I have seen the king of Spain abdicating 
in full uniform, but his cap was too small 
this made him look jolly except for his
cane and the small steps of an old man. 
Until recently he looked handsome and 
had many mistresses and he was fond of 
hunting elephants; he has given up both 
pursuits and is faithful to the queen. 
 
Old age sometimes arrive suddenly, there
you are walking about feeling in tune with
the world, for next waking up in a hospital
being lifted by strong arms from a trolley to
a bed and have your shrunken ***** cleaned 
by a brisk nurse. The king and I are identical.

Written by Tanya Harrington
Categories: funny,

The Lily Pad King

a kingly sort sits
atop his lily pad throne
about to croak out

Tanya Harrington

© 05-10-12

Written by Jslambert Mister Roboto
Categories: angst, art, confusion, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, life, love, parody, people, satire, school, social, teen, uplifting

Not Sofa King Cool

A
College Dorm sleeps
Four per room
Keg party 
Loud
Too much Boom

           A
Drunk freshman sleeps
Where he falls
Coeds toss him on 
The sofa 
Instead of snooze in
the halls

            A 
Sorority girl 
Named him  
“Sofa King Tool”
Now he feels like a Fool
Not Sofa King Cool

Written by Arthur Vaso
Categories: appreciation, brother, fate, humorous, psychological,

King Arthur's Proclamation

I knight thee
master chef of the Royal S Soup
let them pick their poison
and serve them their just desserts
little cupcakes hiding in the pan
why even peter was more of a man
Every kings chef has a great kitchen
The masons have built you a great stoic oven
lets put this to good use
after we shall have an ale or two
along with some laughs
leprechauns and trolls we turned
to ash

Written by Tim Ryerson
Categories: funny,

Ice King

I am a wimp-wuss
whose pain threshold is too low
I want my mommy…

By Tim Ryerson
For SKAT's Ice King Contest
I actually held the ice cube until it started melting...about 5 minutes then I had to go to work thank god...

Written by Peter Lewis Holmes
Categories: anger, humanity, humor, drug,

Message To a Pharmaceuticals King

You’re such a nasty bugger,
You slumming, scheming lout,
No conscience or misgiving,
No arguing about!

And when next time I see you,
Sucking on the poor, I’ll give to 
You no quarter, you shameless 
Writhing whore.

To you people are just profits,
You stinking rotten rat,
I’d love to squash your laurels
With my old ash cricket bat!

Drugs are for the sick, not
For pockets to be lined,
To be in this type of business,
You really must be kind

So take your profit margins
And income streams and like,
And point yourself at nearest cliff
While tied on to your bike

HURRAH!

Written by John E Wordslinger
Categories: funny

Royal Jelly On King Size Slaves

I would like to thank you for your visit.
I have removed these poems for a distant future book publication.
I believe we poets, can make a difference
in this world. We live in the 21st century,
we have tools( technology), we have our past,  and imagination.
We just don't have the courage, because
I guess most are afraid to fail, to loose money.
All I have to say is we can't take money with us,
when we die. I also say hasn't mankind failed enough,
and isn't mankind worth the effort, our children is worth the effort..

Thank you, and my your God Bless you

John E WordSlinger

Written by Victoria Anderson-Throop
Categories: funny,

King of Kings

KING OF KINGS

                           Lord Gravity , 
                           the king of kings
                           through" hands on" science
                           Taught me things--                                                      
                           From plopping 
                                         apples on my head
                           To plopping men
                                         Upon my bed.


V. Anderson-Throop 2013

Written by Nitya Mathur
Categories: humor, identity,

King Mear

Here is what happened to King Mear,
He didn't know what to wear!
He wore his nightdress to the party,
And his coat to bed!
Oh, poor King Mear!

Written by Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
Categories: funny, people

All Hail King Kelly

All Hail King Kelly
     By Dane Smith-Johnsen

A footle a day
Keeps melancholy away.
And I just must say.
Sean Kelly, today,
You are what I’ve been missin’
Your words have risen.
Life’s fun to new heights-
Hail now, oh king of footles.
Thy great wit brought forth.
Bestowed on the world.
Unhidden humor: thy pearl.
Those chitty short writes.
Great images sprout.
From your words, there is no doubt.
All hail to thee, friend.
The footle king speaks.
All ears listening say, “Wow!”
Yes, he is the king.

(Of footless and how-)

.
Written as a Tribute Poem to Sean Kelly.

Written by Jan Allison
Categories: fish, food, how i feel, humorous,

My Blue Cheese Is - King Prawns

When I see a king prawn in its shell
Some vomit I want to expel
This fish food I despise
With ten legs and two eyes
It’s really my idea of food hell!
I baulk when a king prawn is peeled
and that witchetty grub is revealed
It makes me feel sick
I look away quick
My disgust just cannot be concealed!

My Blue Cheese is Contest
Sponsored by Kevin Shaw

07/01/18

Written by Michelle Richter
Categories: fantasy, funny, imagination

The Mad King

.whisper in my ear
don't let the king hear
he wears his crown
upside down
we all can see
the court stands around
he picks his nose with a royal flair
then he smears it in his hair
the court tries not to make a sound
they know he is not all there
that is why he acts a clown (C) MJR 2010

Written by Olusegun Akanbi
Categories: funny, satire,

The Puppet King

Hail! King of Straw
Servant of another
Don’t wish me good luck
Please don’t bother
Covered up in blankets
Due to flu
From the colonial fever
Timid little bastard
Lilly liver
Still entangled in the master’s strings
And commanded by the whims 
Which his dictation brings	
After rebellion
And finally emancipation
The puppet is yet to take his first steps
He falls like an infant
From right to left
No sooner
No faster
Fell on his face
And burst into laughter
As he could not meet up with the master’s pace
Looks around again
Searching for his master
He says
Now I am independent 
But it keeps getting harder and harder

Written by Elton Camp
Categories: funny,

A Shocking Sight At Burger King

A Shocking Sight at Burger King

By Elton Camp

What I saw at Burger King the other day
It is sort of hard to find the words to say

It wasn’t a sandwich all filled with fat
Or too much salt--nothing at all like that

Nor was it a shake entirely devoid of milk
No, no it was not a single thing of that ilk

I didn’t see a roach scurrying on the floor
So that I didn’t want to eat there anymore

Nor was the health rating some dismal score
The place was nice and clean just as before

The customer getting food astonished me
One with a clown suit & hair red as can be

“Ronald McDonald, is it you,” I said
He gave a big grin and nodded his head

Written by Denis Bruce
Categories: humorous,

King of the Castle

There once was  a Yankee  called Trump
Whom so many  thought a real  chump
Now that he's President
And the White House resident
Down to earth they've come with a bump

Written by Anindya Mohan Tagore
Categories: animal, funny, lust,

King Goes Into Trance


                                    Ballerina dance
                      On seeing her stance
             King goes into trance

King wants to tango
He looks like Django
Under the tree - mango

              The cutie says "No!"
                   "King! please let me go
                            I am not in moe "

                                   The cutie in fear
                                         Jumps on the chair - near
              King hissed up the gear

09.03.16

The inspiration was a picture of a scared Ballerina on her toe over a chair watching something very fearful and I have imagined it as a King cobra ...

Written by David Hyatt-Bickle
Categories: god, humor, humorous, mythology, pride, vanity, voice,

The Abyss King

The proud ruler known vainly as Saklas
In the abyss proudly proclaimed with brass:
“I am god, no other but me!”
Then a voice above said in glee:
“You are completely wrong Saklas, you ***.”



Date: 09/06/2022
I counted the syllables myself

Written by Luayne Fraser
Categories: break up, fun, humorous, woman,

Don'T Need a King To Win

How am i ever to win, you are a critic
With just a blink of an eye,  im left watching my life pass me by 
Without any warning as to why
You again disapprove no matter how hard i try,
With a smirk u just wink your other eye, an eye for an eye,
You have awoken my evil eye but why,
It is you that's so sly, you only lie causing me to cry, 
You wonder why i whine so i drink too much wine and also bought a pie,
You bviously cringed as you watched me and said all i do is binge so for that,
I cut a fringe, just like a big syringe, I saw the prick u were within,
So i ditched u like a fling cause i don't  need a king to win