Humorous and funny Kitchen poems and/or funny poems about Kitchen. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Kitchen funny poems!
Written by
Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
food, humorous,
Footling Around In the Kitchen
Adventurous Asparagus
Edgy
Veggie
All over the Stove
Splatter
Matter
Don’t let Pa Find This
Risky
Whisky
Brother Got the Macaroni He Wanted
Dinner
Winner
The Hostess Treat that Hid in the Pantry Corner
Stinky
Twinky
Oops! Leftovers Two Weeks old
Fateful
Plateful
For Brian Strand's the 'ALL YOURS (Feb 23)' Poetry Contest
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
food, children, humorous,
Kitchen Monster
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh I’ve got a secret to tell
I’ll whisper it to you; as I don’t like to yell
I’ve discovered a monster living in my house
It’s very very quiet, as quiet as a mouse
The biscuit tin is empty, not even a single crumb
Yet the packet was brand new, not even undone
All the chocolate is gone, oh what can I do
If I find the culprit I’ll bid him adieu
He invades my fridge when I’m not looking
I’ve not poisoned him yet as he survives my cooking
A miracle has happened since my son returned to university
I’ve not had to keep the kitchen cupboards under lock and key
10~12~14
Contest: Monsters and Marvels
Sponsor: Debbie Guzzi
~awarded 4th place~
Written by
John Williams
Categories:
children, funny, poetry, mum,
Gorilla In the Kitchen
I don't know why she's done it,
She normally is quite sane,
Mum said she bought a new gorilla,
It really is a pain.
She said she put it in the kitchen,
Not far from the sink,
What if I want to go to the tap
And get myself a drink.
I wonder how large it is?
If it will sit with us to eat?
I wonder what we'll name it?
And where it's going to sleep?
But when I tip-toed to the kitchen
A large animal I didn't see,
It was just an electric griller
And mum cooking lunch for me.
- more poems like this can be found at:
kidscomedypoetry.com.au
Written by
John Freeman
Categories:
funny
Country Kitchen
Molly’s Country Kitchen
~Polk stalks sliced, rolled in flour fried
Refried Pinto beans
Fresh Polk leaves rolled in eggs fried
Buttermilk, cornbread
One large Green onion
Apple pie
Yum!
Written 4-30-2011
For and in honor of: Gwendolen Rix
And Contest: Fast Food Epulaeryu
Written by
Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser
Categories:
funny, humor, imagery,
Rosy Kitchen Dip - Footles
what sheen!
When clean..
the sink~
so pink...
beauty
fruity
© O. E. Guillermo
10:30 pm
August 19, 2014
Sponsor Andrea Dietrich
Contest Name Let's Keep Footling Around
Placed 7th..
Written by
Barbara Gorelick
Categories:
food, funny,
In the Kitchen With Commas
Sweet tooth calling, kitchen beckons to me
Decisions, decisions, what should I make
Pies, cookies, pudding , all good possibilities
They sound swell, but I choose chocolate cake
Checking for ingredients, I have them all
Chocolate, eggs, baking powder, salt and flour
Mix them together as the recipe directs
Patience! patience, should be ready in an hour
For the Comma Fun contest...
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
food, fruit, humorous,
Hot Stuff In the Kitchen - Cooking Disaster
When cooking some stewed plums and custard
Distracted, I ended up flustered
They tasted so weird
and sadly I feared
I’d added a dollop of mustard!
Fiction write!!
02/01/18
Written by
Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty
Categories:
fun, funny,
Who Is In the Kitchen
Who is in the kitchen?
Me, a smile bewitchin'
Sullivan
Sniffs oven
Chicken breasts are switchin'
Written by
Celestine Ikwuamaesi
Categories:
funny,
Chicken In the Kitchen
I saw a fat chicken
enter mummy’s kitchen;
soon it began dancing
in a big pan, smiling.
The oil began frying,
the chicken too, crying.
Soon a sweet smell arose,
started tickling my nose.
With two eyes on the pan,
along with sister Ann,
we waited for the meat,
knowing it would taste sweet.
Soon the frying was done
and the chicken was gone.
My eyes rolled as I smiled,
enjoying like a child.
© 2017 Celestine Ikwuamaesi
Written by
Muhammad Safa Thajudeen
Categories:
bird, change, funny, howl,
Chase the Hen In the Kitchen
CHASE THE HEN IN THE KITCHEN!
-Dharga Nagar Safa
Chase away,
The hen,
In the kitcHEN!
Written by
Randy Johnson
Categories:
angst, funny, on writing and words, write, write,
The Kitchen Sink
(Only the first line of this poem is true.)
I've written poems about everything but the kitchen sink.
I write so much that it hurts when I think.
I'd write some more but my pen is out of ink.
I'm the only man in my town who wears a mink.
Don't mess with me, I don't take sass.
If you tell anybody about my mink, I'll kick your ___.
Written by
Caren Krutsinger
Categories:
10th grade, 11th grade, funny, humor, humorous, woman, women,
Someone Should Clean the Kitchen
someone should clean the kitchen
it is grimy, greasy, there is a straw on the floor
a red straw which is way beyond a five second rule
I think it’s been there for two weeks now
I refuse to sweep,
I am thirty-five years ahead of you I tell my husband
He is the one messing up the stove top
there are bits of eggs there
where are mice when you need them?
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
appreciation, food, humor, husband, wife,
Greetings From An International Woman's Day Kitchen
"Greetings from an IWD Kitchen"
The soup is not burnt
nor is the toast
The eggs look edible
forgive me, I boast
International Woman's Day
I take on the kitchen
Give my wife the day off
'Tis my blind ambition...
Psst. I call her name
Maybe she'll pitch in
Alas, her husband is ~
neither cook nor magician
Written by
John Fenn
Categories:
animals, funny
Bear In the Kitchen
There’s a bear in the kitchen
He’s ever so rude
He’s drinking my milk
And he’s eating my food
He’s broken the table
He’s broken a chair
And most every surface
Is covered in hair
He’s smashed off the lock
That was once on the door
He’s ruined the curtains
And pooed on the floor
The fridge he ripped open
Stuff strewn all about
I’ve nothing for dinner
He’s eaten my trout
When this one is gone
I will do some repairs
Fit a strong door
To repel wild bears
But should they get in
Their work will be harder
I’ll store all my food
In a solid steel larder
© John W Fenn 06-12-2009
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
humorous,
Fisticuffs In the Kitchen
Too many cooks cause a problem in the kitchen
Chefs don't like others challenging their decisions
As to what goes in
And how many mins
Fisticuffs can break out and you lose your vision
Written by
Caren Krutsinger
Categories:
10th grade, 11th grade, 12th grade, funny, humor, humorous, life,
I Junked Up My Pretty Kitchen
I junked up my pretty kitchen.
I filled up my loveliest hall.
Dragged in filthy dirty boxes
And that is certainly not all.
Swiftly filled up our three car garage,
And demolished the living room.
Someone better try to stop me.
Frankly, they cannot come too soon.
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
animal, cheer up, crazy, dark, food, humorous, silly,
Kitchen Inventory
Keg full of monkey j*zz
Jar packed with grime
Little tank of tiny turtles
Pot of slug slime.
Shaker full of flea larvae
Small box of moss
Squeeze-tube of mushy meat
Flask of dog sauce.
Leeches in a cookie tin
Ice tray of blow
Now can you play to win
This cooking show.
Written by
Clive Culverhouse
Categories:
fun, humorous, insect, light, nature, nonsense,
Beetle's Kitchen Drama
sat a caterpillar
crossed legged
crosses like a line of kisses
on a stool in beetle’s kitchen
sat a cat upon a pillow
purring snore
against the door
bathed in sunlight fidgeting
beetle cooks a finely crop
stolen then by cheeky frog
they berate and cry at him
aghast at greed’s a’happening
Written by
Alkas Poetry
Categories:
adventure, allusion, appreciation, hilarious, humor, humorous,
Drumming In the Kitchen
When you listen
a plate screaming
and thus a pan in the kitchen...
It's a sign that there's a man
messing with it without
knowing how to move... oh race
more stuck up than ever
knowing nothing what to do... !
Written by
David Brown
Categories:
humor,
Keep Outta My Kitchen
When I invite ya fer dinner
there's only one rule,
keep outta my kitchen
so I'll keep my cool
Believe when I tell you
I love to be cookin,
but only can do it
when no one is lookin
I know that y'all
love to come chat,
that's so hard for me
when I'm trimming some fat
I'd hate to lose a finger
or maybe an eye,
if I get too distracted
just cause you want to say 'hi'
Written by
Ilene Bauer
Categories:
humorous,
In the Kitchen Cabinets
One box was stamped two thousand fifteen;
Another two thousand and five.
If I ate the pasta inside them,
Do you think I would still be alive?
Some crackers found zipped in a baggie
Were stale as a mummy’s last breath.
If I crumbled a few in my chowder,
Would that be the cause of my death?
The ketchup in back of the pantry
Was browner than children’s mud pies.
If I squirted it onto a burger,
Might that cause an early demise?
Since we have relinquished our shopping,
We’re searching our cupboards, no joke,
Discovering items forgotten
Which, if eaten, might cause us to croak!
Written by
Caren Krutsinger
Categories:
humor,
Blue Springboard In My Kitchen
A blue springboard in my kitchen,
A pink parachute in the bath.
I keep my parents guessing
Oddities stir my daddy’s wrath.
My total lack of normalcy
And my goat hat with the horns
Keeps them from regular visits
Giving me many peaceful morns.
Written by
James Edward Lee Sr.
Categories:
adventure, analogy, confusion, february, hilarious, winter,
Onslaught Winter Ants Yet In the Kitchen-
saw an ant in the kitchen
onslaught yet was still winter
thought it was to cold
~
where did he come from
running along kitchen sink
has he seen groundhog
~
thought it was to cold
for an ants in the kitchen
it's yet still winter
2/12/20
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr. 2020©
Written by
Bernard F. Asuncion
Categories:
film, fun, hilarious, humor, humorous,
Stark's Kitchen Catastrophe
Tony Stark, with his suit shiny bright,
Tried to cook up a snack, late at night.
His repulsors went wild,
The kitchen was piled,
"My tech," he groaned, "needs a re-write!"
©bfa031625