Funny Poems About Leaving or Leaving Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Leaving poems and/or funny poems about Leaving. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Leaving funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Leaving Poems.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, flying, humorous,

SHE'S NOT LEAVING ON A JET PLANE

An overweight lady named Annie Has got an absurdly large fanny Since she boarded a plane That is destined for Spain She's wedged in the seat in Miami! Thanks to Andrea for helping me with the meter for this one Jan Allison 12th April 2016


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous, leaving, relationship,

LEAVES TALKING

He called me a fat stupid old sow Said my **** was the size of a cow! So now we’re not talking In fact, I am walking From his life … I’ll go pack my bags now! N/A in Leaves talking Contest Submitted to any poem that got an N/A in September Sponsored by Janice Canerdy 09~16~16

Poem Details | by Gary Smith |
Categories: dark, horror, humorous,

Leaving My Mark


I like it when the Sun goes down,

I like it when it's dark,

I have two pointy fangs you see,

And I like to leave my mark.






Entry for
What I Like Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Maureen McGreavy
28/2/19

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humor,

Leaving The Toilet Seat Up



A real rebel I am, leave the toilet seat up Leave dishes in the sink, don't rinse my cup Bad through and through But a loveable old shmoo Slightly unbalanced but only a wee touch


Poem Details | by A.O. Taner |
Categories: absence, break up, confidence, death, feelings, funny, i am, i love you, inspirational, leaving, loneliness, lost love, love, moving on, psychological, recovery from, relationship, suicide, true love, wife,

End

Only then you're done,
when you end the ending;
leave the closure to others,
that way it's much more fun. 


Poem Details | by James Cottrell |
Categories: crazy, funny, humorous, leaving, music, parody, silly,

Nacho Man VILLAGE PEOPLE Macho Man Short Parody

Nacho
Nacho Man
Nacho
Nacho Man
Baby you know that I am Nacho Man

Poem Details | by Wayne Riley |
Categories: hilarious, humor, humorous, journey, leaving, nonsense,

Beseeching With Gusto

Beseech the wooden hip and eye
To paddle off and caper.
Beseech the Maxfold cat and stye
Forlorn with hairy Gator.

Bring not thy chesticle to bear,
Thy open arms to boot.
Beseeching here and everywhere
To hear old Amos flute.

'You can but not cumcumber me!'
He gummed in chitter-chatter,
And passing water from his knee
Knew something was the matter.

Alas! Alak! A Ladybird-
A lullaby in butter.
Beseech in me the rare absurd,
Not sane, not yet a nutter.

Poem Details | by Brenda Meier-Hans |
Categories: flower, funny, goodbye, imagination, leaving, nature, summer,

Moving On

Goodbye sweet friend it's time to go,
Don't act as if you did not know.
Now is the chance for me to show,
You have become my greatest foe
I'm leaving you at dawn.
Remember when we used to be
Like peas in a pod, you and me?
Now all I want is to be free
It's time I'm moving on.

The sun awoke to bless my sky,
Wind has given me wings to fly,
I'm feeling so free, I cannot lie
Turning I whisper one last goodbye,
As I'm leaving you at dawn.
Today has become my greatest test...
Find a field where my seed shall rest
Till when next year I'm a Dandelion pest.
That's why I'm moving on.

09.08. 2014
Written for Anthony Slausen’s Contest Moving On

Poem Details | by RUDOLPH RINALDI |
Categories: death, funny, leaving, life, words,

I found the way out to the hereafter

I found the way out
found out
I found 
the way out
way out
way

way out
out to 
the hereafter
hereafter
the hereafter
here 

after 
after here
the hereafter
way way out
out way
out

to out
hereafter
he 
her
here
after

way out 
to here after
found the way 
the way
found out 
the way

I found the way out
to the hereafter.



Poem Details | by RUDOLPH RINALDI |
Categories: death, funny, leaving, life, memory, money, success,

stuff

when I die
I am certain 
that the material stuff  
I leave behind 
won’t cry

but maybe
maybe
just 
a little sigh

Poem Details | by Alesia Leach |
Categories: boyfriend, humor, leaving, silly,

Last Laugh

I should have looked before I leaped
now I have been left in a lurch
by my lily-livered boyfriend,
but I'll have the last laugh
when he see his laundry
in a lovely shade of pink.

ALesiach © 9/30/2015

Poem Details | by Trevor McLeod |
Categories: angst, funny, leaving, philosophy,

Poop

Poop
It's only a poem.
Don't use that word.
I'm trying real hard,
despite what you've heard.

Poop
It's gonna get better.
I won't be deterred.
I've only just started.
and won't be deferred

Poop
It has a great ending
and won't be absurd.
Not one that I wanted,
but one I preferred.

Poop
It's not very long
and won't leave you spurred.
Unless you read slower
than what I've inferred.

Poop
I've added a climax
that won't go unheard.
Unless you're much older
than what I've concurred.

Poop
I'm nearing the end;
in which I've conferred,
to leaving you something
I hope has recurred.

Poop
And now for the ending
to which I referred.
In leaving you nothing
Accept for the
BIRD


Poem Details | by Jimmi Canada |
Categories: art, assonance, celebrity, desire, grief, guitar, hair, how i feel, humorous, hyperbole, image, judgement, leaving, poets, proposal, true love, trust,

This time

Flushed,

kicked to the curb and stunned,

waanning, waanning and crumbling crumbs,

dispelled as dumbed,

come backs like lakes of water aren't even fun,

toned and intonated,

17 things to endanger-
39 to reconnoiter,

there was nothing to do,

nowhere to go,

some people showed,

they were enhanced,

I was so gold-

aggrandized yet grow'd,

I couldn't even agree with the folks,

got stunned and littered as the roads,

melted plaster and recreated the last masters focused.

Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: art, day, grave, humorous, imagination, introspection,

I am Dead AND I am Leaving

Eight hours of toiling in the sun
With pick and axe digging for rum
Captive to the sentence yet
Prisoner to none

Hard labour, and this sure ain’t fun
Sweating in the heat, shoveling the dun
Digging and digging this work never done
Callused hands and a back carrying tons

The sun is setting, yet escape seems far
After all the digging is the gravel and tar
I am dead, dead dead!
Dead tired and wish I was in bed

So fair warning I am leaving here soon
Leaving this torture, to sing another tune
Leaving, I am to fetch me some brew
Some Tim Horton’s coffee and maybe some stew

brb


ummmm a coffee shop, lets see what trouble I can get into there!!!!! :)

Poem Details | by Anthony Specian |
Categories: funny, life, work, leaving,

Work, Leave, Stay

They think they have you trapped 
working working working

You can do it all of that
working working working

We know you are great at what you do
working working working

But this is what I have to say to you
working working working

I need to get away from this place
leaving leaving leaving 

I really need a break from the time that was a waste
leaving leaving leaving 

If some help could be given that's all I would demand
staying staying staying

Yes, only a little help just wait for my command 
Staying Staying Staying

Poem Details | by RUDOLPH RINALDI |
Categories: emotions, funny, leaving, life, motivation, philosophy,

no more

no more
that’s it
I’m done
I’m really fine

that is

until the next time

Poem Details | by Nina Parmenter |
Categories: children, fun, funny, humor, humorous, leaving,

Trying to leave the house with children

Half eight
Can’t wait

      “Let’s go!”
      Kids slow

Mum stressed
“Get dressed!”

       Teeth clean
      “HE’S MEAN!”

Kids washed 
Fight quashed 

       Toast burned
       Crusts spurned

“Shoes on!”
“They’ve gone!”

      Lunch made
      Nerves frayed

Kids row
“Shoes! Now!”

       Pack bag
       Shout, nag

Lost keys
“SHOES PLEASE!”

       Tea downed
       Coats found

“SHOES! WHERE?!!”
Tear hair

       Half ten
       Late then


March 2 2018
For the “Put your footle out your mouth” contest sponsored by James Edward Lee Snr
Joint first place

Poem Details | by Ray Gridley |
Categories: humor, humorous, leaving, missing, wedding,

The Runaway Bride

The runaway bride, we assume,
Had reasons for fleeing the room
As she ran down the aisle
She screamed "Wait awhile!
I'm chasing the runaway groom".

Poem Details | by carl jent |
Categories: crazy, farewell, funny, humorous, leaving,

Getting Out of Hear

At any rate, now I must flee
time to leave this dreaded place
with a run, a leap, on to destiny
nevermore amongst human race.

Nor to let anyone know
not a single good bye
no hesitation, time to go
let's see if I can fly.

Run so fast, all I see
bright, glorious sky ahead
my future lay ahead of me
or will I end up dead?

Now the leap into space
distance was never a notion
falling, failing without grace
sadness, as I splash the ocean.

Poem Details | by Franklin Price |
Categories: humor,

Leaving Hotels

Leaving  & Hotels
5/20/2015

Leaving & Hotels not fun
With no money to pay for day one
Must leave before day
Really no other way
Prior to the rise of the sun 

Poem Details | by Trey Hamner |
Categories: death, death of a friend, farewell, funny, humor, humorous, leaving,

His Name Is My Name Too

Here under this midget monolith
Lies John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith
He went out, there was a great shout
And that's the last he was heard about





                                               9-12-2018

Poem Details | by Rob Carter |
Categories: girlfriend, humor, leaving, moving on,

Boomerang

Can't get rid,
tried wiping on the mat.
Shits too ingrained
the smell just lingers.

Fumigation is futile,
I can't escape.
You just won't leave
Please go go go.

I think at last
you're gone for good.
Then STRIKE,
Back once again.

Leaving's so hard
for you to get.
Don't  boomerang
Please, go go go. 

Poem Details | by PAT Adams |
Categories: animal, funny, imagery, leaving,

Squirrel in the House

A squirrel in a house he'd not been in before
Grabbed a mouthful of peanuts and ran for the door
He tripped on a mat
And then he fell flat
And his nuts rolled across the floor!

Poem Details | by PAT Adams |
Categories: break up, feelings, humorous, leaving,

The Twinkie in Her eye

She had just bit into her Twinkie
When she got a look from creepy guy
She gagged and a small piece flew up
and landed right smack in her eye!

He was sure she gave him a wink
Which only increased his advances
He said, "Hey baby, my name is Dink,"
"How about I show you some dances!"

She didn't like the way he looked
She'd rather die, and told him so
Then she turned around and left
He was a pretty good dancer though!

Poem Details | by monique pagan |
Categories: divorce, fun, hate, humor, leaving, remember, sad love,

looking for something new

He was a temporary hookup
He went out like a garbage pickup
He was ugly at most
Tasted burnt like toast 
Soon I'll need a medical checkup