Humorous and funny Light_Verse poems and/or funny poems about Light_Verse. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Light_Verse funny poems!
Written by
Caren Krutsinger
Categories:
fun, humorous, word play,
To Be Thrown Overboard Soon
Two scruffy pirates picked me up.
Intending to toss me overboard.
I weighed too much; they were struggling.
True.
They needed to lighten their load.
But I was not going easy.
I purposefully got heavier.
"She is flotsom," the tall fat one said.
"Jetsam," the dumb ugly one argued.
"Let's get a dictionary," I said. "Let's do this right."
This gave me a few more days,
as there were no books on this ship.
Written by
Maureen McGreavy The Insolent Rib
Categories:
humor, mom, sorry,
My One Regret
If I weren't afraid, I'd...
Have pulled that red lipstick
Out of my purse
And with cover
Of sister and cousin
Surrounding your coffin
Replaced that drab pink coral
With your trademark red
We knew it wasn't a colour
You'd have been caught in dead
9/11/2019
Written by
Clive Culverhouse
Categories:
fun, humorous, light,
In The Nick Of Time POTD
the day I died
was a rainy one
but the sun came out
in the nick of time
I can laugh about it now
but it was a worry
Written by
Anne-Lise Andresen
Categories:
angst, humorous,
- a Tribute To the Washing Machine -
I received an email today :
"Would you like to join
The Underpants Club"
A new underwear
directly at your door
once a month
(for only 20 bucks)
Did you say once a month?
My mother taught me
Replace after one use - without exception
In the old days
they had not heard of bacteria ...
but changed underpants
at least every other Saturday
When spring came
it was time for laundry
that took place outdoors,
at the creek or the water post
where there was plenty of clean water available
Fleas and lice are nasty
... and itches terribly
28.02.2020
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
Poem Of The Day: 01.03.2020
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous,
Simply the Best Poem I'Ve Ever Written
OOPS - I must have used invisible ink
Happy April Fools Day to you all
Hugs Jan ***
1st April 2015
Written by
Greg Gaul
Categories:
fun, humor, judgement, metaphor, poetry,
Poetic Justice
I landed in Poet's Court
Caught me speeding in my Sonnet
They judged it a rhyme crime
According to the officer's pentometer
I was doing 50 in a 25 word zone
I'm pleading for comma relief
Hoping to be released to free verse
Under supervision of course
Fortunately there's no sentencing in poetry
Maybe they'll just revoke my poetic license
Written by
Sara Kendrick
Categories:
family, funny, imagination
Two Riding On a Single
Two riding on a single
Man! How fast that bike will go
Down the hill around the curve
Blow wind blow
At the very bottom piled up
In a culvert drain
In great agony and pain
Totally distained
Crumpled metal, torn clothes
Bleeding and blood stains
Harsh words from parents
Tears as soap and water cleaned
All the cuts and bruises
And clothes that had to be changed
What an ending to Christmas
The joy of Santa's gift
Lying dented and scuffed bent
Beside the porch needing to be fixed
Written by
Marnie Memis
Categories:
funny
Just For Fun
Women wore corsets
Men trundled round
Magical mushrooms
grew out of the ground
Everyone terrified
Of the dragon breathing fire
The far fetched stories
The jolly town cryer
Always so happy
Nobody knows why
It was the magical mushrooms
Everyone was high
Written by
Michael Tor
Categories:
humorous,
Secret Rendezvous
I was happily married, but there
was something I adored.
I couldn't resist the temptation,
of needing something more.
So good to feel on my warm
lips, I couldn't wait.
In the middle of the night, I
didn't feel guilty, or hesitate.
I snuck out of the bedroom, not
wanting to wake my wife.
My conscience didn't bother me,
as I dreamed of this, all night.
Quietly I went downstairs, for
my secret rendezvous.
Open the refrigerator door, and
had three scoops.
Michael Tor
Written by
Nancy Kaufman
Categories:
1st grade, humor, money,
Whose Got the Money Honey
Whose got the money honey?
Raining debt is just not fun
Have you got the money honey?
Rebecca's farm no longer sunny.
Whose got the money honey?
Could it be the Easter bunny?
Whose got the money honey?
Written by
Anne-Lise Andresen
Categories:
fantasy, humorous, life,
- Ice Cold Champagne -
Do you remember old aunt Julie
In a hurry she opened all the windows
Even in the middle of the winter,
rain or storm
She suddenly needed to have fresh air
Breathed like a whale
The face changed color
Her cheek, ear and throat became deep red
Talked louder than normal
She was a comic figure
We were just young children
did not understand
The years go by ...
we are there ourselves
Hormonal hot flashes
I'm smiling by the old memories
Aunt Julie's advice was;
No estrogen supplements or pills ... but ...
...... Ice cold champagne ......
04.08.2017
- Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
- Copyright © All Rights Reserved
Written by
Timothy Hicks
Categories:
america, education, england, fun, funny, homework, nonsense,
Concerning Math and How To Say It
The British call it maths,
but the Americans ditch the s
causing much international scorn.
But for our sake, p'raps it'd be best
to keep subjects
only halfway grasped
in the singular form.
Written by
Jerry T Curtis
Categories:
funny love,
My Best Pick Up Line
"I can tell you are a Libra"
"No !"
"I am seldom ever wrong
Ah, of course you are a Taurus"
"No!"
"But the feeling was so strong
Now it hits me, you're a Leo
I should have recognized the traits
"No!"
"Just please give me a moment
In my mind, I see a date
"You're a Pisces now ascending
With the cusp of Capricorn
And Scorpio was setting on the day
that you were born
The moon was in Virgo
With Aries on the rise
and before you say,
'No' again
Just let me say,
"I love your eyes "
Written by
Arthur Vaso
Categories:
baseball, funny, humorous,
I Am a Fat Oriole
I am a fat oriole from Baltimore
With baseball cap and baseball mitt
I became a star cause well I could really hit
Made my money, to build my nest
Never grew up, cause I was born with good luck
I am a big fat Oriole I say to you
Now I am retired
So I sit in by chair
Eating my Oreos, double stuffed flair
Oriole oriole eating my oreos
I am fat cookie, a Baltimore storio
Written by
Arthur Vaso
Categories:
beauty, cute love, grave, humor, obituary,
I Found a Girlfriend
Took me the breath of all my life
A soul mate who could consume my heart wither a smile
I found that Gothic girl after dark
A little to late to consummate
I lie in waiting with a dead round smile
Empty eyes and a lot of guile
I found a girlfriend even if late
We lie together
Frigid is our state
Written by
Timothy Hicks
Categories:
addiction, funny, nonsense, simple, word play, words, writing,
I Have a Love Affair With Parenthesis
(don't tell anyone)
Written by
Caryl Muzzey
Categories:
adventure, funny, tree,
Mountain Lake Inspiration
Mountain Lake is my favorite place to write
under shade tree are my pencil, paper, and pole.
Scribble down words while waiting for a bite
fishing my most popular angling hole.
Fish are jumping all around hook and line
small cork sits still and does not move or fade.
Patiently I sit in wait for that fish to dine
beneath weeping willow of cool tree shade.
Inspiration overwhelms biding snare
while creative mind laggardly transcends.
In far distance I see lone grizzly bear
and leave a good fishing pole to his friends.
Copyright © 2011 By Caryl S. Muzzey
Fourth Place Winner ~ "Inspired” Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Miranda Lambert
July 20, 2011
Written by
Tasha Taylor
Categories:
boyfriend, funny love, girlfriend, psychological, relationship,
Schizophrenia
"Doctor!
Doctor!
How is he?"
"Quite terrible, Miss.
He will not survive the night,
Probably not even the hour."
"What does he have?
Terminal cancer?
Pneumonia?
Cardiac Arrest?"
"No.
It is worse then all of those.
Even combined."
"Oh no!
Can I see him?
"I imagine you can, Miss.
But that's the problem.
I'm afraid I can't treat him
Since I can't--"
"Doctor! Please tell me.
I love him.
He's my boyfriend.
We have no secrets."
"Then you may wanna sit down.
Miss, I am sorry to inform you,
Your boyfriend is ailed with
A severe case of nonexistence."
Written by
Arthur Vaso
Categories:
humorous, life, love, romance,
James Bond the Poet
Double oh Sevens
The gamble of dangerous men
Poets who carry guns
To shoot out the hearts
Of unsuspecting ladies
A single word, a bullet
That can wound or kill the love
Of any careless romance
Yet they fall at the feet
Of mystery and sweet words
And later in the evening
Tears flow from ladies of sadness
Left alone among the sheets of love
The Spy, he could save the world
Yet save not one single love
He grew old and alone
His last thought among the living
I die a lover, and never felt love
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
dog, humorous,
And They Call It Puppy Love - For Contest
How could I not forgive you?
Just one look at your puppy dog eyes
Thaws the heart of this ice maiden
Contest - Micropoetry ain't that tweet – Sponsor Casarah Nance
(105 characters with spaces)
07~31~15
Written by
Arthur Vaso
Categories:
animal, bible, christian, humorous,
Little Men and the Hen
Chirp chirp chirp
Cluck cluck cluck cluck
Drivel
Snivel
Dirty little men
One insane wee little hen
Let me introduce you
To a really big huge man
A heart sent from angels
A voice lowered from the heavens
A man whose humble heart
Can squash a 1000 little men
So when in life you see a fork in the road
Remember
You can be the Hen
Or you can be the bigger man
Written by
Mary Chapman
Categories:
humorous,
The Garbage Can
There I sit in every home,
in the corner of the room.
I collect discarded items
including bottles of old perfume.
Bills and advertisements
magazines and letters too,
especially those that come
with urgency typed in blue.
You never seem to take the time
to appreciate what I do,
with all this information
I could really blackmail you.
So don't you think it would be nice
if you took care of me?
Just clean me up and wash me out
this way I stay germ free.
When you're done
Just line me up,
with a garbage bag
To show you care for me.
Written by
Patrick Cornwall
Categories:
funny,
Scale
Weigh in
Weigh to go
Best weigh to do this
Weight to the midnight hour
Is there a better weigh
Weight just a moment
She was described this weigh
Weighter in a diner
The only weigh to escape pain
Weighward
Proper weigh to do this
Students learn in many weighs to do things
Step on the scale and way yourself for GODS sake.
Written by
Tim Ryerson
Categories:
funny love,
Time Out
If love is a game, we need a referee.
Written by
Timothy Hicks
Categories:
fun, funny, humor, humorous, nonsense, writing,
In Sain Plight
Alliteration is awesome;
thanks to thee
it effortlessly erases evidence
of spoonerisms.
Spooky.
Written February 29th, 2016
For the Spoonerisms Contest hosted by Roy Jerden