Funny Poems About Limerick or Limerick Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Limerick poems and/or funny poems about Limerick. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Limerick funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Limerick Poems.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: farm, humorous, sexy,

MARY IN THE DAIRY

A curvaceous lady named Mary Just loved having sex in the dairy When smothered with whipped cream Her beau would lick her clean… His Calorie intake was scary!!! 14th June 2016

Poem Details | by Tom Cunningham |
Categories: funny, humor,

Chainsaw Blues - bawdy limerick LOL

There was a lumberjack from Borehamwood 
A chainsaw mishap took off his manhood
His Love life now a mess 
And it caused him great stress
So he made himself one out of some wood .  
                         ~
He went to bed one night full of desire
Sue his wife put on her sexy attire 
Things got steamy and hot 
He gave it all he got  
But with passion and friction it caught fire . 




Written 5th March 2019.

For make me actually LOL 2 poetry contest 

Sponsored by Nina Parmenter.


Poem Details | by Judith Angell Meyer |
Categories: funny, imagination, song-

His funeral

That he planned his funeral is factual
And being a prankster quite actual
He prerecorded his voice
So when we kneeled on the joist
He said, "Hi there! Don't I look natural."

Poem Details | by Tim Ryerson |
Categories: funny, science,

Big Bang

Your theory makes quite the impression
But I have this nagging obsession
A huge mass of matter
Explodes in a scatter
This is a layman's 'dumb' question

From whence came this gigantic ball?
Just how did the whole thing befall?
What was there before that?
And before even that?
And so on and so forth, et.al

Blank space, only vacuum you say?
Endless void? Flat nothing? Okay
Is nothing just nothing,
Or ain't nothing something
And what made the nothing I pray?

Poem Details | by RALPH TAYLOR |
Categories: funny

GIMME A BRAKE

A UFO went to land in Dakota
But the brakes didn't work one iota.
        It didn't take long
        to decide what was wrong
seems the space ship was made by Toyota!


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

HE'S SMOKIN'

Sir Henry was playing his flute He also was smoking cheroot But when his attire Was soon caught on fire I’m guessing he’s not so astute! 04~18~15 Contest: Famous Einstein Quotes – John Freeman Albert Einstein Quote ‘The only source of knowledge is experience’ ~awarded 1st place~

Poem Details | by Tom Cunningham |
Categories: fishing, humor, sea,

Orca's Revenge


A fishing boat left the port of Kinsale 
The rain was lashing and blowing a gale
Fishing grounds were in sight
Then they had a great fright
Along side swam a giant killer whale.

A fish pong round the boat was so smelly 
"Hold your noses "cried out Captain Kelly
Whale then bit off a chunk
Fishing boat and crew sunk
They all ended up in the whales belly.



Written 5th  August 2019.

Syllables in both stanza's

10/10/6/6/10.


Syllable check at how many syllables .com


Two sea themed limericks' poetry contest
Tania Kitchin - Sponsor .

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, lust, natural disasters,

OOPS - IT'S A BIT OF A **** UP

Ted enjoys a quick roll in the hay... He’s sleeping with his buxom P A She confirmed she’s with child Ted baulked, then got quite riled I wonder what his wife’s got to say! 5/26/18

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: appreciation, giving, humorous, poetry, thanks,

A GIFT OF A LIFETIME - TO END ON SATURDAY MARCH 20TH 2077

I’ve received an incredible gift It has given my heart such a lift But the date that I see Is what now concerns me – It’s the date I no longer exist!!! Today I was gifted a 'lifetime' premium membership but it is somewhat disconcerting to see it ends on 3/20/2077. I hope TPS aren't psychic!!!! My mother's great great aunt lived to 111 and 121 days and was in the Guinness book of records - I hope I am around a long long time to make full use of this incredible gift. 14th October 2016

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, clothes, humorous,

TOEING THE LINE - BAWDY LIMERICK

Sue’s panties gave her so much woe - She suffered from dire ‘camel toe’ But with help from soft plastic Her new outline’s fantastic It’s discrete and no one would know! 4/5/18

Poem Details | by Jesse Rowe |
Categories: bird, food, funny,

Fatso

They said how she ate was absurd;
A "Fatso", they called her she heard,
And ever since then
That poor, baby wren
Just pecked at her food like a bird.

8.31.18
Contest: Any Animal or Creature Limerick

Poem Details | by Lindsay Laurie |
Categories: humor,

Rumour

An email just received is a sham,
stating swine flu comes from tins of ham,
but don’t get a fright,
for this is not right,
when the email claims ham, well it’s spam.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, clothes, humorous,

LIARS

I went to the shops with my bride, Our nakedness we didn’t hide, We followed what folk ask - Just wear gloves and a mask, Both bereft, we stood there and cried! 03/22/20

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: humor, january,

Jan You Wary

The Russians, of course, think its cool
To jump in an icy-cold pool
But I'm not a fool
And made a Mule Rule:
Dive only where warmth greets my tool!

Poem Details | by Tom Cunningham |
Categories: humor,

The Wealthy Old Man From Kansas

'There was a wealthy old man from Kansas 
Wasn't concerned if he caught the virus 
He was wealthy you could tell
Owned ten rolls of cottonelle
Said If I die "least I've got a clean A. S. S. ".



Written 13th March 2020

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, pets,

Has Anyone Seen My Pussy - Bawdy limerick

My Tomcat drives me up the walls On neighbourhood kitties he calls Sired more than one kitten With sex he is smitten He’s gonna be losing his balls! A Funny or Bawdy Limerick Poetry Contest Sponsored by Tania Kitchin 04/30/23

Poem Details | by JSLambert Mister ROBOTO |
Categories: allegory, fantasy, father, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, health, hope, husband, imagination, life, love, passion, people, places, romance, social, wife,

Viagra Falls

There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'

but when it got little 
his pills became skittles   
until he O.D.'d on Viagra

© ~JSLambert  2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: father daughter, health, humorous,

SUGAR DADDY - TWO LENSES

Childhood Days I’d heap spoonfuls of sugar in my tea I wouldn’t drink it without it you see That sweet syrupy drink Wasn’t poured down the sink Every single drop was supped up by me! Adulthood Dad’s diabetes made me think - Did I need to sweeten my drink So I cut sugar out And I don’t have a doubt I’m slimmer and I’m in the pink Contest: Two Lenses Sponsor Sara Kendrick 02~20~16

Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny,

Zoo Limerick

A struggle ensued at the zoo

when King Lion met Jack Kangaroo.

Leo tried to attack,

but Jack fired right back:

"Are you crazy, Cat? I know Kung Fu!"


For Geraldine Taylor's  The Creative Collective Anthology Series - Comic Version

Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny

GROWING Together

After six months of living with you
I found it amazing how we grew
     As the passion seemed to fade
     The worst signs of this charade
Were the clothes I couldn’t fit into

Lovemaking’s a form of exercise
And then when it stopped, what a surprise
     I asked you if I looked fat
     You said, “There’s no truth in that”
As you consumed even more French fries

But the doctor’s scale would tell no lies
Some 25 pounds my weight did rise
     Still you refused to believe
     Just continued to deceive
Till friends noted YOUR increasing size



By Carolyn Devonshire
For Judy’s “Short Poem Contest”

Poem Details | by Mary Nagy |
Categories: angst, daughter, family, funny, happiness, life, love, car,

Princess Needs A New Car

Princess just wants a new car.
I have told her that hers will go far.
'Oh, it's really not cool
driving this crap to school.'
'Do I need that emotional scar? '

'The kids will all laugh at the rust.
When we race, I'll be left in the dust! 
I will save up some cash
then we'll make a mad dash
to the car dealer surely you trust'.

'He will make us a wonderful deal
and I'm sure you will know how I feel.
I will love you so much, 
My siblings... I won't touch.
Just get me behind a new wheel'! 

Now she'll be cruisin in style.
She'll be happy for only awhile.
There will always be better
and we'll try hard to get her
a car that will make princess smile.

Poem Details | by Paul Callus |
Categories: fun, humor,

Ninja Girl

   On the Isle of Man lives a Ninja girl
   Daring in her act, makes your toesies curl
   She has a pretty face
   And sips her tea with grace
   Be not taken in – she’s no fragile pearl.


   ----------------------------------------------

   Sent with hugs by Lulu` Pascal

Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny, holiday

Valentine's Day Musings

All year long he puts my heart on a shelf
No surprise I’d rather be by myself
     If there’s no Valentine treat
     From this worthless hunk of meat
He can go on making love to himself

Remember there’s an “I” in Valentine
So if no one’s around to say, “Be mine”
     Just splurge – get a new hairdo
     Party with an all-girl crew
Check out the divorce rate and say, “I’m fine”




*For Francine's Valentine Limerick contest

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

JUICY FRUIT

A busty young lady from Peel Her boobies she couldn't conceal They were such a huge size That she won a first prize For the fruit men most wanted to feel 7th April 2015 I made a bit of a boob on the 2nd line - thanks Paul Callus for your advice

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: computer-internet, humorous, relationship,

I can only hand it to you

Tapped messages go out direct
With phones it's an easy connect
Thoughts from a finger
In cyberspace linger
But touching's too much to expect