Humorous and funny Loss poems and/or funny poems about Loss. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Loss funny poems!
Written by
Nick Bagnall
Categories:
funny, loss
Missing You
She was wonderful and powerful
My object of desire
Her smooth clean face so beautiful
The apple of my eye
My love she had an accident
She fell from up on high
I found her broken body there
'Twas lying on the ground
Now all I have's her memory
The songs we used to share
Oh how I miss that ipod
My heart it megahertz
Written by
Xavier Keough
Categories:
funny, life, loss,
Oh, Toilet Bowl
Oh, toilet bowl
Did you hear me in the hall
Talking to that bastard wall
Asking who moved the door
Oh, toilet bowl
Don’t ever have gin and tonic
Cause inebriation is quite ironic
When lost in your own home
Oh, toilet bowl
So accessible and cool
Forgive my 90 proof drool
Irony is about to surface
Oh, toilet bowl
We're no longer alone
I’m talking to Ralph
on your big white phone
He says he’s sorry
Oh, toilet bowl
My porcelain gold
If I may be so bold
Meet my bottom
Oh, toilet bowl!
Written by
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
Categories:
funny, happiness, health, life, loss
Slams Destroyed Her Head
Slams Destroyed Her Head
She was slammed by slam poetry, boo hoo!
Some folks wondered about the hullabaloo.
When bombarded with dread,
Sad thoughts destroyed her head.
Now, she thinks she’s a blithering cuckoo!
© July 17, 2010
Dane Smith-Johnsen
Written by
Jerry T Curtis
Categories:
humorous,
Loss Soup
You have written with your heart
And shared it with, those worlds apart
Bared your soul in every verse
For us, a blessing, for you a curse
With pain you struggled to be heard
As we skimmed through every other word
Perhaps it's just not your time
For you to share what's on your mind
One day all poets get their due
I'm quiet sure, that so shall you
If not by contest winning Soup
Jan might share with you some poop
It always makes me feel like a winner ! Hi Jan lol
Written by
William Robinson
Categories:
children, funny, loss, time,
Hearing Things
Long ago, when I was young,
Before my hearing began to fail,
Why, I could hear a boll weevil
Tiptoe across a cotton bale.
But many years have come and gone;
The ghetto blaster took its toll.
Now I couldn't hear an elephant
Dance in clogs with wooden soles.
Written by
Daver Austin
Categories:
confusion, funny, loss
Humpty Dumpty
Fat egg you're a mess!
I can't believe the scramble where you fell
There's slime dirt and yellow on your shell
Impossible, I must confess
With all the king's horses
all the king's men
and the ovaries of a hen
It seems quite ridiculous
a job so meticulous
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
business, car, health, humor,
Guaranteed Weight-Loss Program
Vast sums of money
enormous chunks of time
All spent on losing weight ~
usually ruined by dinnertime
It's really quite easy
now I know that sounds cheezy
But here's the one thing that works, brother
Sell your car today, and don't buy another
You'll walk everywhere
have little time to spare
for banquets and luncheons
or to lie around potato chip munchin'
And even if this radical step doesn't work
you have my personal guarantee
I'll sell your car back to you for what you took from me
~ sure enjoyed driving it for free
Written by
Jslambert Mister Roboto
Categories:
angst, art, funny, life, loss, on writing and words
Poetic Robbery
Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION
Written by
Alex Brown
Categories:
funny, life, loss
Elegy For My Social Life
You'll be missed,
You will always be remembered.
All those good times
I had because of you.
I regret this loss
More than any.
Goodbye, social life.
You'll be missed.
Written by
Poet Destroyer A
Categories:
funny, loss, dog, dog, me,
The Cross Over
My Dog
Today is the day!
I give my dog away!
I wonder if he's sick or if he's too lazy to play and do tricks.
I called the vet, “$80 I cannot pay.”
My dog, my favorite pet,
He does not want to chase the cat.
I understand that he does not like to get wet.
But, how come today, he doesn't want to play fetch.
I tell him to roll over.
That he doesn't even want to do :- (
When I call my dog Rover,
He gives me the puppy face too.
Maybe he's over fed.
All he does is lay there in bed.
He’s not even wagging his tail!
My dog, my favorite pet,
He didn’t walk with me to get the mail.
Should I call the Dog Catcher?
And ask why my dog is playing dead?
by;pd & son
Written by
Randy Johnson
Categories:
angst, funny, loss, car, car,
Drag Racing
(This is a fictional poem)
The car I bought wasn't as fast as the previous owner said.
I'm going to kick his ___ and give him some serious wounds to his head.
I raced the car last night and I bet the pink slip.
The other guy blew me off the road, what a jip.
When he demanded my keys, he and I had some words.
I told him to go to hell and then I gave him the bird.
He has big muscles as well as a car that's fast.
When I gave him the finger, he kicked my ___.
I put bruises on his hands when he put bruises on my face.
That's the last time that I'll drag race.
Written by
Rocky Swartzfager
Categories:
funny, loss, nostalgia,
Toonami I Miss You So
Once, something we took for granted
Now gone, forever to be mourned.
My source of awesome anime has been transplanted.
Cartoon Network, you face an enemy scorned!
-----Note-----
Though it's been so long I still miss it. RIP Tom.
Written by
James Fraser
Categories:
fun, humor, husband, loss, marriage, wife
Prepare For the Worst
That's a week the wife has been missing
For years I've so longed this hoping
Prepare for the worst the Police said
Panic thoughts in my head
The Charity shop was not my so wishing
Written by
Kileem Al Lishmiin
Categories:
humor, loss, love, memory, relationship, self
Love Stories
Tragedy and Comedy
Blended and Beaten
Memories last a lifetime
Written by
Michelle Mac Donald
Categories:
funny, hope, introspection, loss,
Of Birds and Bees
Heney Penny spent her money
On a hive of buckwheat honey
But the bees were not so friendly
They chased off poor Heney Penny
Left of her money, she hadn’t any
But of bee stings, she had many
She was doctored by Mcclenny
They were married in Cal Genny
Now her thoughts are full and plenty
On her clutch of four and twenty.
Written by
Kevin Leake
Categories:
funny, humor, loss,
Sexy Blow Up Doll
Sexy Blow up Doll
One kiss and she blew away
Went up with a whoosh
© Copyright KC.Leake
29th April 2015
All Rights Reserved
Written by
Gail Foster
Categories:
death, hero, humor, loss, poetry, sports
On the Death of Mohammed Ali, Three Clerihews
The man was a legend.
So farewell, Cassius Clay, Ali
You knocked out a bit of poetry
That butterfly one sure packed a sting
And well done on the boxing thing
Mohammed, man, you’re counted out
You gave the boxing thing a shout
Wrote rhyme to make a grown man cry
And dodged the draft like a butterfly
Ali, you’ve packed your final punch
Man, you took boxing out to lunch
Men say that you are God today
Who made Mohammed out of Clay
© Gail Foster
Written by
Cecil Hickman
Categories:
funeral, funny, life, loss, nature, seasons
Winters Release
One frown is lost
At what cost now
Jack Frost has died
Written by
Barbara Gorelick
Categories:
funny, loss,
Another Lottery Dope
I just knew it would be my lucky day
The lottery I decided to play
But I had no luck
Not even a buck
Now we're eating beans until my next pay
Written by
Junate Ersal
Categories:
art, funny, loss, urban,
Parking Ticket
Friends told a secret
Put the ticket on the shield
No more new tickets
I did not wait long
To realize the secret advice
When I got ticket
I did what they said
I left my car with ticket
Glad to know the trick
Dark when I came back
I saw the ticket gave birth
I do l!#*ve my friends
Written by
Lee Ramage
Categories:
funny, imagination, loss, nostalgia,
One Step Forward, Two Back
Spelling a thing of the past,
Thank-you cards will disappear,
Cursive writing will be lost,
No more postal mail.
Phone conversations are gone,
All temples of worship close,
Libraries lock their front doors,
No more paper books.
Good news for Craig Ferguson,
Entertainer - Late, Late show,
The all new Johnny Carson,
No more Jay Leno.
Written by Lee Ramage
September 7, 2011
For Linda-Marie’s Contest
“Crystal Ball”
Placed 7th
Written by
Rob Carmack
Categories:
funny, girlfriend, humorous, loss, love, memory
Names
Every past that perfectly colors letters,
haunting losses beckon the predecessors,
utter names in passion or greeting, makes a
furious girlfriend.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Written: 01.16.19
Written by
John Fenn
Categories:
fantasy, funny, imagination, loss, natural disasters
Sock Monster
The sock monster climbs up the waste pipe
And into your washing machine
He’ll hide up in a corner
To ensure he can’t be seen.
Then when you put you clothes in
And you’ve set the washers clock
He’ll dive into your washing
And select a single sock.
This special prize, he’ll carry off
To his secret monster lair
And share this tasty morsel
With his monster wife so fair.
© John W Fenn 03-12-2008
Written by
Stuart Chandler
Categories:
car, depression, humor, loss,
Transport Costs
Its My car
Thousands of miles together we travelled
maps then a sat nav journeys unravelled
collected all sorts, even went to the tip
bus into town, no in the car I'll just nip
MOT services tax, insurance as well
paying the bills down to me it all fell
Now at the end the bills just to big
think its all over I have to admit
one last journey together we made
down to the scrapers only I walked away
the end of this tale is not very nice
travelling on roads comes at a price
pounds shillings and pence me it did cost
but for my beautiful car its life was lost...
Written by
Jimmy Anderson
Categories:
fantasy, funny, loss, nature
North Pole Divorce Club
Snow everywhere
once joined, now melting apart
causing much distress.
Santa got divorced and also got fixed
too many little Santa's running around because of his tricks
Santa liked the women.
Too many little guys were swimmin' ;)
Now we all know how Santa got his kicks!
Santa slept around and ate too much grubb
His wife finding out made him join the North Pole Divorce Club!
*For PD's Divorce Club contest.