Humorous and funny Lost poems and/or funny poems about Lost. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Lost funny poems!
Written by
Elisabeth Sheaffer
Categories:
humorous,
He Who Hesitates Is Lost
The cake which lay upon the plate,
I wanted it but was polite.
That was the one you grabbed and ate;
The cake which lay upon the plate
You ate at an alarming rate.
You said it was a sheer delight
The cake which lay upon the plate,
I wanted it but was polite.
Written by
Flippant She-Creature
Categories:
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, health, lost love, love
Shall I Compare Thee To Your Mother's ****
Shall I compare thee to your mother's ****?
Thou aren’t more lovely, but more flatulent.
Rough winds do shake it; and bring on a farce
And all her clothes hath all too short a rent
Sometime too hot-headed of hell doth burn,
And often is the true nature exposed;
And every foul from fowl; my stomach churns,
By reason, or by nature's raging closed.
But thy infernal diet shall ne’er start
Nor gain possession of which now I grasp;
Nor shall we meet again; let’s stay apart,
When in eternal sounds the voice does rasp,
So long as men can breathe or eyes can cry,
So long lives this, and I bid thee goodbye.
Written by
Niketa Mckenzie
Categories:
funny, lost love, love,
One Night Stand
Their once was a girl in love
She knew he was sent from above
They danced, they sing they did everthing
But then he deflated in the tub
Written by
Mark Pringle
Categories:
allegory, funny, lost love, heart, heart,
Once Upon a Happenstance
Once upon a happenstance
I gazed, a look, and paused in trance
To dream upon a crystal palace
Her heart aglee and form to chalice
With towers true and field in view
I set a course to give tongue to
I crossed the field - anxiety smote
And walked upon this palace mote
Yet, as I firmed, my heart to pour
She drew the bridge and bolted door
Written by
Joyce Johnson
Categories:
funny, on writing and words, pets,
Lost Words
Sometimes I catch them easily,
The words I'm reaching for;
At other times watch helplessly
As they crash to the floor.
I try to reassemble but
They've landed in a jumble.
I grab too fast for floaters and
My chair and I both tumble.
Susie thinks it is hilarious
And joins into the fun.
Before she hears my "stop", she has
Already swallowed one.
I am truly very sorry
There are no poems from me.
You will know why when I tell you
My dog ate my poetry.
Won 3rd place
Written by
Mary Rotman
Categories:
betrayal, conflict, funny, heartbreak, hurt, lost love
Nuclear-Free Zone
You should know that I've
reinforced the bunker
I built around my heart
until it can withstand a
direct hit
ground zero
head-on collision
from a YOU-bomb.
I've shielded it to withstand
the worst Emotional Mutilation Potential
you can generate
and to protect me from
the flash burns of passion,
Not to mention that I've lined it with lead
to save me from the fallout
of your so-called love.
So-
hit me with your worst.
My bunker--and I-- are ready.
Written by
Bob Quigley
Categories:
death, funny, lost, lost,
Quaffed
Ole Kelly worked at the brewery
And was pretty good at that
But one day he lost his balance
And fell into a vat
O’Reilly went to Kelly’s house
Someone had to tell his wife
He said Kelly fell into the beer
And there he lost his life
Kelly’s wife was beside herself
Said I know those vats are slick
Please tell me he didn’t suffer
That my Kelly went real quick
He said I don’t think he suffered ma’am
As far as I could see
In fact while he was swimming in there
He climbed out twice to pee
Another old Irish joke that I just had to set to rhyme.
Written by
Michael Sender
Categories:
dream, children, humor, literature, lost,
My Lost Shadow
Yesterday, in bright sunlight
I turned and looked
No shadow, what a fright
Am I a ghost? So I pinched
Awakening from my dream
At the break of dawn
Getting ready to scream
Instead gave a mighty yawn
I am like Peter Pan in Kensington
Perhaps I left my shadow in bed
Be brave and carry on
Is what I said
Shadow lost and found
To life, I am bound
Yesterday's shadow was on the ground
Sewn on without a sound
Written by
Katherine Braithwaite
Categories:
humorous, lost love, lust,
Yet Another Lover
When yet another lover flees my cat sized bed
and leaves me wild and comely in the night
I wonder if it's unknown words I've read
Or is it that my eyes have taken flight?
I tempt the sin with all my female parts.
They feel I'm like a spider with a bat,
to cure ,devour,digest my ghoulish pests,
They think they should be learning on the sat.
But some who mind me feel they have been robbed.
I give them all detention,I'm a liar.
I give them generous fare and sing sheeps' songs.
I give them comfort like a hellish fire
Oh,come back ,bad boy ,don't desert me yet,
The clothes I thrashed for you are not quite set.
Written by
Whit Deschner
Categories:
12th grade, absence, funny, heartbroken, humorous, lost love
Untidled
Caught in emotion
She went down to the ocean
To where the cliffs are extremely steep
And there she wept
Then finally lept
At a place called 'Lover's Leap'
But while doing here pouting
The tide took to outing
And now the tour guides to show
Where lost love and gravity
Made a large cavity
Far far on the beach below
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, lost, muse, poetry,
Missing Muse
Has anyone seen my muse -
I think she’s gone on a world cruise
One where there’s plenty of booze
Then she can have a long snooze!
Why has she run away to sea
I’m searching for her constantly
I’m feeling really unhappy
Please can someone help me?
If you find her, please send her back
Then I’ll be fine and on the right track
I’ll take her out in my Cadillac
And confiscate her spotty knapsack!
Then my muse won’t be free to roam
She will have to stay with me here at home
So I won’t be left all alone to moan
And I’ll write poems in a massive tome
6th February 2017
Written by
Teresa Harr-Pena
Categories:
funny,
I'Ve Lost My Mind
Have you seen it
I must have set it somewhere
Maybe it seeped outta my ears
And it's drizzled all around
Don't use it
You'll torture yourself
It's all stressed out
Oh yea, it has some filth
Written by
Pat Adams
Categories:
confusion, humorous, lost, memory,
An Aging Poet
For poetry, I'll need to see
Let the battle of switches begin
From the wall switch to the light
"Which one is it?" never ends!
An aging poet, past my prime
My memory now is not acute
In truth it has been in decline
Ever since I popped the chute!
What's next, will I forget my pants?
So many lapses, cause me to fret
A date, a word,a meal, a hat
Who knows what next, I might..........?
Written by
Jslambert Mister Roboto
Categories:
funny, happiness, lost love, passion, people, romance
My Sweet Camel Toe, Where'D You Go
Where'd you go?
oh where did you go
my precious camel toe?
played me like a fiddle
with your bubbly middle
you're such a skanky hoe
but I love you so
camel toe
camel toe
we had magic
we had fire
purple sweatpants my desire
come back camel toe
victory! camel toe
you're the villain
you're the winner
with your puffy
wedgied center
camel toe
camel toe
you're my sassy hoe
you're my Christmas snow
gone like cold wind blows
with your return
my member grows
I miss my camel toe
baby
where'd you go?
sweaty sweetie
camel toe
Written by
Cona Adams
Categories:
animal, emotions, humorous, hyperbole, lost love, lust
Of Lust and Dissipation
A Spenserian Sonnet
(Mr. Snake falls in love with a garden hose)
Today I slithered up a grassy hill,
wet from the creek and eager to explore.
The urge to snare a mate devoured my will,
could not this be the day for me to score?
I spot you there beside the garden door,
your slick green shape pervades my hungry sight.
Your golden head criss-cross my eyes before
your trim tight coil peals visions of delight.
Yet when I push my moves into the light
your body squirms and grows before my eyes,
and dread arises in a burst of fright.
You spit at me in angry spurts, surprise
me with a gush of clear and liquid spray,
while I make haste to scuttle fast away.
Written by
Rudolph Rinaldi
Categories:
dream, funny, hair, life, lost, love
Where Has It Gone
we had hair
in the 1960s
where has it gone
we had
love and peace
Written by
Maggie Dickerson
Categories:
adventure, animals, funny, imagination, inspirational, lost love
Llama
Nothing rhymes with llama
Nothing rhymes with lava
HEY! Llama and lava rhyme
I guess I knew that the whole time
When I see a llama, I shout
But when I see it not burning in lava, I pout
Ok, so that's not true
But I'm sitting here quietly with nothing to do......
I just realized that I've never seen a llama in the zoo.
I'm really starting to hate llamas now
I really wish they would all burn in lava
Still not true....
Still with nothing better to do...
Written by
Abe Lopez
Categories:
funny, lifelost, lost,
Lost Glove
It’s getting cold and I’ve lost my glove
One hand gets warmth and the other no love
I’ve looked in the closet and under the couch
I’ll keep searching this place for I’m not a slouch
I’m looking through the stuff in my garage
Is that it in the corner?.......oh no, that's a mirage
I grab my coat and head for the door
Have I lost my glove forever more
No glove in sight and it’s time to leave
Take one guess at what’s in my sleeve (smiles)
Now both hands will feel woolly love
For I’ve just found the other glove
Written by
Chrissie Morris Brady
Categories:
adventure, confusion, humor, lost, space, travel
Space Or Spaced Out
In Space or Spaced Out
Bones grow feeble without gravity
This is a serious matter, not to be taken lightly
Blood fails to reach the brain
We must bear this in mind
Space cannot be navigated by the light headed
The semi conscious, on a journey with such a faint map
Think on this seriously, it is not a joke
Spaceships lost in the heavens is a hellish consequence
Sentient beings drifting half conscious is senseless
Concentrate your thoughts so that we do not scatter
Debris in the galaxies, cleverly made
And stupidly lost.
Written by
Arthur Vaso
Categories:
humanity, humorous, language,
I Lost My Spelling and Grandma Checker
I lost my spelling and grandma checker
I am an idea roving iround inside on me heade
The lanquagees of today our so misread
why if y go back some yeers in the hundrads
the language was all different , aint that a bummer?
All the errors of times leng ago
the all surmounted to the rooles of now for shoow
we evlove wes do, of this I am sore
I love words even from distance shores
grandma would shoot me, make their be it kno doubt
Dis poem was written by a grammerless lout
Note: Posted a Blog on the same topic!!!
Written by
Robin L. Gass
Categories:
funny, on writing and words
Footle - Verbiage Lost
Words flee
from me
Inspired by Brian Strand's April Footle contest
Written by
Larisa Rzhepishevska
Categories:
funny, satire, suicide,
Lost a Hope
If you lost a hope
here is a nice fluffy rope
and a scented soap.
©LR
Written by
John Trusty
Categories:
funny, lost love, nature
Head(S) Or Tail(S)
summers’ last prayer
you’re about to lose your head…
while getting some tail
*For the Praying Mantis Haiku Contest
Written by
Deborah Burch
Categories:
history, humorous, lost love,
Scarlett's Lament
Scarlett's Lament
Fiddlede-diddlede
Scarlett O'Hara, she
slew all the fellas--not
lifting a hand
'Cepting Rhett Butler proved
Incomprehensible
with, "Frankly, my dear, I
don't give a damn!"
©deborah burch
1.30.2013
Written by
Jessica Durham
Categories:
funny, life, lost love, love, teen, love
"a Trip Down Memory Lane"
Coors Lite, Food Fight,
My bros dirt bike, and kisses good night,
Orangutan Sex, "I give it a ten"
Billy Bob and Bacon, his little pig friend.
In the dark playin' basketball,
Don't forget about Niagra Falls.
What kind of hips do you want?
It seems we can't agree,
Candy Shop, PDA, A BIG mouthful of me.
Varsity Blues, The "I Love You's"
Makin' Cookies that look like pancakes,
But all of these things just lead to a heartbreak.
This poem is for Terry Bell!
He was my first "true love".
We aren't together now,
But I still Love him.
Let's face it...
I ALWAYS will!