Humorous and funny Lost Love poems and/or funny poems about Lost Love. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Lost Love funny poems!
Written by
Flippant She-Creature
Categories:
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, health, lost love, love
Shall I Compare Thee To Your Mother's ****
Shall I compare thee to your mother's ****?
Thou aren’t more lovely, but more flatulent.
Rough winds do shake it; and bring on a farce
And all her clothes hath all too short a rent
Sometime too hot-headed of hell doth burn,
And often is the true nature exposed;
And every foul from fowl; my stomach churns,
By reason, or by nature's raging closed.
But thy infernal diet shall ne’er start
Nor gain possession of which now I grasp;
Nor shall we meet again; let’s stay apart,
When in eternal sounds the voice does rasp,
So long as men can breathe or eyes can cry,
So long lives this, and I bid thee goodbye.
Written by
Niketa Mckenzie
Categories:
funny, lost love, love,
One Night Stand
Their once was a girl in love
She knew he was sent from above
They danced, they sing they did everthing
But then he deflated in the tub
Written by
Mark Pringle
Categories:
allegory, funny, lost love, heart, heart,
Once Upon a Happenstance
Once upon a happenstance
I gazed, a look, and paused in trance
To dream upon a crystal palace
Her heart aglee and form to chalice
With towers true and field in view
I set a course to give tongue to
I crossed the field - anxiety smote
And walked upon this palace mote
Yet, as I firmed, my heart to pour
She drew the bridge and bolted door
Written by
Mary Rotman
Categories:
betrayal, conflict, funny, heartbreak, hurt, lost love
Nuclear-Free Zone
You should know that I've
reinforced the bunker
I built around my heart
until it can withstand a
direct hit
ground zero
head-on collision
from a YOU-bomb.
I've shielded it to withstand
the worst Emotional Mutilation Potential
you can generate
and to protect me from
the flash burns of passion,
Not to mention that I've lined it with lead
to save me from the fallout
of your so-called love.
So-
hit me with your worst.
My bunker--and I-- are ready.
Written by
Katherine Braithwaite
Categories:
humorous, lost love, lust,
Yet Another Lover
When yet another lover flees my cat sized bed
and leaves me wild and comely in the night
I wonder if it's unknown words I've read
Or is it that my eyes have taken flight?
I tempt the sin with all my female parts.
They feel I'm like a spider with a bat,
to cure ,devour,digest my ghoulish pests,
They think they should be learning on the sat.
But some who mind me feel they have been robbed.
I give them all detention,I'm a liar.
I give them generous fare and sing sheeps' songs.
I give them comfort like a hellish fire
Oh,come back ,bad boy ,don't desert me yet,
The clothes I thrashed for you are not quite set.
Written by
Whit Deschner
Categories:
12th grade, absence, funny, heartbroken, humorous, lost love
Untidled
Caught in emotion
She went down to the ocean
To where the cliffs are extremely steep
And there she wept
Then finally lept
At a place called 'Lover's Leap'
But while doing here pouting
The tide took to outing
And now the tour guides to show
Where lost love and gravity
Made a large cavity
Far far on the beach below
Written by
Jslambert Mister Roboto
Categories:
funny, happiness, lost love, passion, people, romance
My Sweet Camel Toe, Where'D You Go
Where'd you go?
oh where did you go
my precious camel toe?
played me like a fiddle
with your bubbly middle
you're such a skanky hoe
but I love you so
camel toe
camel toe
we had magic
we had fire
purple sweatpants my desire
come back camel toe
victory! camel toe
you're the villain
you're the winner
with your puffy
wedgied center
camel toe
camel toe
you're my sassy hoe
you're my Christmas snow
gone like cold wind blows
with your return
my member grows
I miss my camel toe
baby
where'd you go?
sweaty sweetie
camel toe
Written by
Cona Adams
Categories:
animal, emotions, humorous, hyperbole, lost love, lust
Of Lust and Dissipation
A Spenserian Sonnet
(Mr. Snake falls in love with a garden hose)
Today I slithered up a grassy hill,
wet from the creek and eager to explore.
The urge to snare a mate devoured my will,
could not this be the day for me to score?
I spot you there beside the garden door,
your slick green shape pervades my hungry sight.
Your golden head criss-cross my eyes before
your trim tight coil peals visions of delight.
Yet when I push my moves into the light
your body squirms and grows before my eyes,
and dread arises in a burst of fright.
You spit at me in angry spurts, surprise
me with a gush of clear and liquid spray,
while I make haste to scuttle fast away.
Written by
Rudolph Rinaldi
Categories:
dream, funny, hair, life, lost, love
Where Has It Gone
we had hair
in the 1960s
where has it gone
we had
love and peace
Written by
Maggie Dickerson
Categories:
adventure, animals, funny, imagination, inspirational, lost love
Llama
Nothing rhymes with llama
Nothing rhymes with lava
HEY! Llama and lava rhyme
I guess I knew that the whole time
When I see a llama, I shout
But when I see it not burning in lava, I pout
Ok, so that's not true
But I'm sitting here quietly with nothing to do......
I just realized that I've never seen a llama in the zoo.
I'm really starting to hate llamas now
I really wish they would all burn in lava
Still not true....
Still with nothing better to do...
Written by
John Trusty
Categories:
funny, lost love, nature
Head(S) Or Tail(S)
summers’ last prayer
you’re about to lose your head…
while getting some tail
*For the Praying Mantis Haiku Contest
Written by
Deborah Burch
Categories:
history, humorous, lost love,
Scarlett's Lament
Scarlett's Lament
Fiddlede-diddlede
Scarlett O'Hara, she
slew all the fellas--not
lifting a hand
'Cepting Rhett Butler proved
Incomprehensible
with, "Frankly, my dear, I
don't give a damn!"
©deborah burch
1.30.2013
Written by
Jessica Durham
Categories:
funny, life, lost love, love, teen, love
"a Trip Down Memory Lane"
Coors Lite, Food Fight,
My bros dirt bike, and kisses good night,
Orangutan Sex, "I give it a ten"
Billy Bob and Bacon, his little pig friend.
In the dark playin' basketball,
Don't forget about Niagra Falls.
What kind of hips do you want?
It seems we can't agree,
Candy Shop, PDA, A BIG mouthful of me.
Varsity Blues, The "I Love You's"
Makin' Cookies that look like pancakes,
But all of these things just lead to a heartbreak.
This poem is for Terry Bell!
He was my first "true love".
We aren't together now,
But I still Love him.
Let's face it...
I ALWAYS will!
Written by
Marlowe Sr.
Categories:
anger, emotions, funny love, lost love, love, love hurts
Asking Her Out
I asked.
She said No.
Talked to her on Facebook,
She said No.
Shook hands with her buddies,
Befriended her mamma,
But from her it was still a No.
She grumbled,
And said No.
She thanked me for the bouquet,
But still said No.
Called her day and night
Mailed her every fortnight,
But from her it was still a big No.
Then she writes back to apologize,
But it is still a No!
Ah well, I should have gotten the message,
That was loud and clear,
When Michelle had said No!
Written by
John Trusty
Categories:
angst, funny, lost love
You Left
YOU LEFT
Pcillin cured
the obscured
* for the Footle contest.
Written by
Ken Duddle
Categories:
funny, happiness, imagination, lost love, love, people
Valentine's Day Love
As she walked in to the room
The air filled with the smell of lilacs
Sweet music drifted to my ears
As she walked in to the room.
As she walked in to the room
My heart skipped a thousand beats
My eyes saw the worlds beauty
As she walked in to the room.
As she walked in to the room
Her smile enlightened my day
Her shining hair moved my emotions
As she walked in to the room.
As she walked in to the room
She embraced a young man nearby
My dreams awoke me to reality
As they walked out of the room.
Written by
Roses Roses
Categories:
cute love, funny love, heartbroken, lost love, poetry,
Running
She was the fiery love
She was the lonely love
She was the unforgettable love
She was the protected love
She was the jealous love
There are different ways to love but there is only one true love
Were you running away from love or running away from yourself
Afraid that you’re not ready, afraid to be wrong
Every time I think we're moving forward you pull away like the tide
Only getting close enough to see a glimpse of love but too scared to stay and see the whole thing
Returning to your deep depths where you don't have to worry about your true feelings
p.s. you can always run but never fully hide…
Written by
Jslambert Mister Roboto
Categories:
funny, lost love, parody,
Trampoline
Up and down for fun
They abuse her filthy face
Little Tramp Eileen
Written by
Annie Lander
Categories:
devotion, forgiveness, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, lost love,
Follow the Winner
Some folks always follow the winner
I didn't even have the courage
To tell you how you made me feel
Your laughter
Your body language
Way back then,
A wall flower.
you thought that I weren't good enough
Undeveloped beauty
Now, Virtuousness,
I am blooming;
People always follow the winner
Written by
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
Categories:
angst, humor, lost love, love, , cute
Bi-Polar Lovers
Men meet
And greet.
Friends wait
Then, date
Tough boys
Share toys.
Cute Girls
Wear pearls
They walk
And talk.
Love bursts
At first
The hitch --
Mood switch
He tries
She sighs
Words heat
Not Sweet
Trifles
Stifle
Hearts scream
No gleam.
Dreams die
Good bye.
Bad blend
The end
12/29/2016
Written by
Joy Wellington
Categories:
funny, lost love, sad,
Divorce Club
((Haiku))
Love seems endlessly
Then stalactites stalagmites
Divorce comes for sure
((Limerick))
She walk down the isle smiling in white dress
In the courthouse in black dress, what a mess
Lovers dancing on the sand
Divorce and money in hand
Got her money's worth, who laughs last laughs best
((Couplet))
The guy thinks he can outsmart the girl
The girl knows after divorce she owns his world
~Divorce Club~
Contest for : (Destroyer ((Poet
Written by
David Dowling
Categories:
children, funny, lost love, love, naturesea, love
Love You Like a Sea Urchin
I wanna love you like a Sea Urchin.
-Not just any other shellfish.
Baby, can't you see it's urgent?
we're strapped for time, so don't be selfish.
I wanna love you like a Sea Urchin.
-and all other points aside.
I know I ran from love in past lives,
'cause I didn't have a spine.
I wanna love you like a Sea Urchin.
-I admit i've been a round.
but of all the other fishies,
you're the one that I want now.
I wanna love you like a Sea Urchin.
-Won't you please come back soon?
oh boy, this globoid was a fool,
but he's a fool in love with you!
Written by
Deirdre Omaidin
Categories:
funny
Lost Love
Love is like an alarm clock
Just when you think all is set
she cheats and then wants to buzz
Off goes the first ring
For John Freemans competition Love or Humhour
Written by
Annie Lander
Categories:
funny, lost love, love, music,
Haiku
Haiku
My two-timing lover
if only he were here
the music mocks tonight
Written by
Charles Mcdauel
Categories:
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, lost love,
Randj
Woe is me-woe is me
Romeo Montague
loved Julie Capulet
what e'er the cost,
but in the end it seems
lovers so torn between
interfamilial
fueds, can be lost.