Funny Poems About Lust or Lust Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Lust poems and/or funny poems about Lust. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Lust funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Lust Poems.

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: humorous, lust, natural disasters,

Oops - It's a Bit of a **** Up

Ted enjoys a quick roll in the hay... He’s sleeping with his buxom P A She confirmed she’s with child Ted baulked, then got quite riled I wonder what his wife’s got to say! 5/26/18

Poem Details | by Rob Carmack |
Categories: giving, humor, humorous, lust, passion, sexy, tribute,

Spitters Are Quitters

Always salty and usually bitter
help encourage the spitter —
still better than the wonts
and those dreaded donts —
saved by the tolerable quitter.

Written: 05.08.21
Contest: Quitters Never Win
Sponsor: Margarita Lillico

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: body, humorous, lust, political,

Ronald Likes a Nice Bit of Rump

A politician called Ronald Dump Loves to pat pretty girls on the rump At a peachy pert tush All his brains turn to mush His wife floors him – you should see the lump! Fictional write for fun 7th June 2016

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: funny, giggle, humor, lust, passion, sexy, woman,

Jan's Halloween Dream

Jan's spouse said she's gilding the lilies
For treating herself to new frillies
All the neighbours got hot
When they saw what she bought
And that really gave Jan the willies!

Poem Details | by Line Gauthier |
Categories: funny, grandparents, longing, lust, night, nostalgia, silly,

Impure Thoughts

On her nightdress candlelight flickers
While underneath she wears blue knickers
Grandpa recalls Kentucky
The last time he got lucky
Grandma just rolls her eyes and snickers

May 19, 2019
for Tania Kitchin's Bawdy Limericks Contest

Poem Details | by Katherine Braithwaite |
Categories: humorous, lost love, lust,

Yet Another Lover

When yet another lover flees my cat sized bed
and leaves me wild and comely in the night
I wonder if it's unknown words I've read
Or is it that my eyes have taken flight?

I tempt the sin with all my female parts.
They feel I'm like a spider with a bat,
to cure ,devour,digest my ghoulish pests,
They think they should be learning on the sat.

But some who mind me feel they have been robbed.
I give them all detention,I'm a liar.
I give them generous fare and sing sheeps' songs.
I give them comfort like a hellish fire

Oh,come back ,bad boy ,don't desert me yet,
The clothes I thrashed for you are not quite set.

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: humorous, lust,

Hot Love

You may be getting on in years but several times a day I reach out to caress you of course, I know all the right buttons to press to get you going As the temperature rises you start to get so steamy When you reach boiling point I hear you whistle, Gee, I can’t wait to get my hands on you I rush over to grab you Oh man, you are so darn hot as I lift you up hot fluid comes gushing out Even after all these years you’re still the one to quench my desires - how I love my old kettle! Metaphor of Love Poetry Contest Sponsored by Bobby May 11/12/19

Poem Details | by Caycay Jennings |
Categories: body, boyfriend, clothes, funny, hurt, lust, men,

My Pinged Pong

My eager man bought me a wee thong which I put on to best get along but rubbing bugging attacks soon whacked my fore and aft crack. My pinged pong found his dingdonged thong wrong.
... CayCay August 7, 2019

Poem Details | by Terry Flood |
Categories: angst, humorous, lust,

My Mates Mum

With her very shapely thighs
And her nice firm bum
I can’t keep my eyes
Off my best mate’s mum
We could have fallen out
But we’re getting on fine 
I’ve got my eyes on his mum
And he’s got his on mine

Ben’s sat in the corner
As our teacher called him bad
He’d pinched the teacher’s bottom
Which had made the teacher mad
The teacher should be flattered
And should not make Ben feel sad
But I’m a little worried 
’Cause the teacher is my dad

Well, I stood up for Ben
It’s just his teenage angst
A trip to the head’s office
Was my only thanks
I stood outside the door
The sign just said ‘Headmaster’
Inside I heard my mother screaming
Faster baby, faster!

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: humor, lust, romance, sleep,

You and Me In Bed

The thought of you and me in bed
    rings alarm bells in my head
  I don't know, it just doesn't seem right
    to have you for myself all night

  Of course, I love your torrid affection
    I'm just very concerned about the direction
  that our ahem, uh, er -- you know what I mean
    when our lips meet under covers unseen

  So I'll be the adult right here and now ~
    I shall not sleep with my beloved meow

Poem Details | by Courtney Hubbert |
Categories: happy, humor, lust, silly, sin, smile,

There Once Was a Known Lady of Vice

There once was a known lady of vice
Who charged for her moist pie by the slice
Famous men would holler 
Down many a dollar
To taste the infamous Heidi Fleiss

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: lust,

Gig Giggle

Les Dewett was a gigilo
Who loved to do it really slow
Though he was well hung
The tip of his tongue
Won their praises for Best of Show

Poem Details | by Linda Alice Fowler |
Categories: fruit, funny, humorous, kiss, lust, sleep, woman,

Snow White

Snow White took an unladylike bite
of a big red apple polished bright
	she snoozed quite a while
	he kissed her with guile
and they shared an afternoon delight

Poem Details | by Cona Adams |
Categories: animal, emotions, humorous, hyperbole, lost love, lust,

Of Lust and Dissipation

A Spenserian Sonnet
(Mr. Snake falls in love with a garden hose)

Today I slithered up a grassy hill,
wet from the creek and eager to explore.
The urge to snare a mate devoured my will,
could not this be the day for me to score?

I spot you there beside the garden door, 
your slick green shape pervades my hungry sight.
Your golden head criss-cross my eyes before
your trim tight coil peals visions of delight.

Yet when I push my moves into the light
your body squirms and grows before my eyes,
and dread arises in a burst of fright.
You spit at me in angry spurts, surprise

me with a gush of clear and liquid spray,
while I make haste to scuttle fast away.

Poem Details | by Robert Candler |
Categories: angel, beauty, blue, body, cute love, desire, feelings, giggle, girl, hello, hope, humorous, lust, relationship, romance, sexy, song, sweet, together, uplifting, woman,

Please Help Me, Re-Lyric

Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
You're just so damn sexy,
That's why I'm hittin' on you.
You don't have to love me,
Some good sex will do.
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.

Yes, you turned me on
When I saw you walk in...
The face of an Angel,
A body just made for Sin.
Now, I may be real horny,
But one thing is true:
What would satisfy me, Girl
Would be to satisfy You.

So please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You; 
And I hope that you're fallin'
In Lust with me too;
But if not, then please fake it,
Please don't leave me "blue"...
Please help me, I've fallen
In  Lust  with  You.

Poem Details | by Robert Candler |
Categories: angst, desire, humorous, irony, life, lust, sorrow,

Oh Well

Bill stared at a cute butt going by.
Wishing he were much bolder, he sighed,
"I would give all my pay
To roll that in the hay."
But looked up to see 'she' was a guy.

Poem Details | by Mark J. Halliday |
Categories: car, desire, humor, lust, nonsense, silly, wife,

Muscle Car Envy

Thou shalt not covet
Thy neighbor's wife, nor his ***...
YOU mean his Corvette?

Poem Details | by Ngoc Nguyen |
Categories: friend, friendship, humor, irony, life, lust, relationship,

''When Best Friends Are Tempted'': An Honest Look At Modern Relationships

A woman friend, of gorgeous pulchritude,
presents a man with an experience
of tantalizingly erotic mood:—
to him it is a most pleasant "hindrance."
A guy friend of strong, chiseled, sexy good looks
makes a woman self-conscious, and confused,
when reading, "Fifty Shades of Grey" (soft-**** books),
and thinking of him while fully aroused. 
They both may think of the possibilities,
and then wonder: "What can it hurt...if I cross 
that line?" But is it worth the realities
and risks (and the very real, potential loss
     of a friendship)? Best friends may be real fine,
     but is it worth a hay roll (on Cloud Nine)?

Poem Details | by Mark J. Halliday |
Categories: devotion, giggle, love, lust, sexy, song, trust,

Unnamed Song's Sexy Chorus

Snuggling and cuddling,
Caressing and fondling,
And all those other tender things
That happen in the night.
Teasing and tickling,
Sighing and giggling,
And so much profound feeling
When we hold each other tight.

Poem Details | by Rudolph Rinaldi |
Categories: funny love, humor, humorous, life, lust,


young chicks
old hens

young cocks
old dreamers 


while the hens cluck 
in their sweet dreams

Poem Details | by Suresh Babu Palani |
Categories: beauty, cute love, desire, emotions, feelings, flower, fun, hilarious, imagery, love, lust, metaphor, nature, youth,

A Secret Affair

Dewdrops visit blooms
at night and leave by daybreak:
A secret affair.

Poem Details | by Tammy Reams |
Categories: desire, funny love, humorous, image, lust, women,

Blind Sex

Some say my cousin got around
passing on his bloodline
young and wild with a strong esteem
no matter who it was

Shame his bloodline has family ties
one was his sister Jean
his Pop's found out, boy what a scene
now I know why he's blind

T Reams 3/26/2015        contest sponsored by: Nette Onclaud
                                     'Let Me Feel Your Lines    #6 bloodline

Poem Details | by Carolyn Dewey |
Categories: food, humorous, lust, yellow,

Ode To Corn

My teeth crunch into golden heaven,
savoring fresh cream and salt.

This is my tenth - wait, no - eleventh
cob of corn. Time for a malt.

Corn cob, Mom, Bob,
Can't have another?

We love each other,
so you must.

Cob of corn, my golden heaven,
After you I love to lust.

Poem Details | by David Sollis |
Categories: funny, girlfriend, humor, humorous, lust, money, relationship,

Gold Digger

half his age
and nearly twice his
pretty as a picture
but none too bright
he loves her open
arms (and legs) –
his “tart”
spread-eagled on his
sports-car’s bonnet
she likes him for
his open mind and
open heart
but most of all –
his open wallet
she intends to stick
with him through
thick and thicker
and is most
“concerned” about
his dodgy ticker

you can see my
illustration &
original poem on my
blog here -

Poem Details | by Yort Watson |
Categories: feelings, for her, funny, kiss, lust, work,

Office Romance

I can tell you want to talk, but don’t know what to say
I better think of something quick, before you go away
I wonder if you think about me, when I’m out of sight
I think about you all the time and can’t get sleep at night
I want to kiss you as you stand there looking at the floor
I want to draw my office shades and have you ask for more
I could be wrong that you like me, a fate much worse than death
So I’ll just talk about the weather, until I’m out of breath