Humorous and funny Menopause poems and/or funny poems about Menopause. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Menopause funny poems!
Written by
Mike Dailey
Categories:
angst, funny, health, nature, religion, satire, wifeme, me,
Menopause Prayer
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord for no more heat
For if it comes, I’ll be awake
I pray the Lord, don’t make me bake
I’ll even get down on my knees
And pray the Lord “Lord, pretty please”
Please don’t turn my furnace on
My flesh is weak, my patience’s gone
I haven’t had a good night’s sleep
Since menopause turned on the heat
And it’s no good Lord, counting sheep
If into fire, Lord they leap
So Lord, please grant me this request
And take this fire from my chest
Let someone else be thusly blessed
And let me finally get some rest
Short Poem contest - Honorable Mention finish
Mdailey
written for my wife
Written by
Elizabeth Kinch
Categories:
age, change, humorous, women,
Menopause Misery
The menopause has hit me,
My oestrogen is going,
I'm very hot and sweaty,
My face all red and glowing.
My mood is unpredictable,
I scream and then I shout,
My waistbands getting tighter,
I'm fatter without a doubt.
My hair is getting thinner
On the top of my head,
But it's sprouting out of my chin
And upper lip instead.
My mind gets confused,
I'm forgetful, make mistakes,
Everywhere is itchy,
I just want to take a break.
So I'm off to see the doctor
To get some HRT,
Can't deal with all the symptoms
Of this menopause misery!