Humorous and funny Military poems and/or funny poems about Military. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Military funny poems!
Written by
Isaiah Zerbst
Categories:
conflict, funny, military, silly, war,
Big-Frowned Scarecrow
Hopping mad, Billy glares through a port
at what foes seem to think is such sport.
Frown for frown, glare for glare,
scarecrow raises his hair.
He laughed yet while his foes took the fort!
"The human race has but one affective weapon,
and that is laughter."
Mark Twain
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
humorous, military,
How the Red Baron Met His Doom
Alas, the famed Red Baron bit the dust.
His last flight in his Fokker was a bust.
Some thought Snoopy shot him down,
But t'was a dude named Roy Brown,
Leaving Charlie Brown and his friends nonplussed!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved
NOTE: There is controversy to this very day about who and how the
Red Baron actually died. Canadian pilot Roy Brown claimed he shot
him down but there is some evidence that he may have been hit by a
rifleman from the ground. Here's hoping this will keep you awake at
night worrying about it!!!
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
humorous, military,
Military Life
MILITARY LIFE
Sergeants
They rants!
Slit trench
Big stench!
Don't sass
The brass!
Long march
Sore arch!
Payday
Yea! Yea!
Discharge
Bye, Sarge!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
Entry for Timothy Hicks' "March Of The Footle" Contest
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
humorous, military,
General George Mcclellan
An unusually lethargic and whining dude was General George McClellan.
He was reluctant to saddle up and move the army despite Lincoln's yellin'!
In desperation Abe wired his sluggish commander and in his usual witty style,
Said, "If you are not using the army, I should like to borrow it for awhile!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved
Written by
Steven Siegel
Categories:
freedom, humor, military, mom, soldier, women,
What We Really Fight For
When you ask 'soldier
what he fights for, it is not
apple pie and dear
old mom, nope this is what he
fights so hard for; a woman
Written by
T Wignesan
Categories:
england, football, humor, military, scary,
Limerick Crochetes: Once Warrior Fifteen From Down Under
Limerick crochetés: Once Warrior Fifteen from down under
Once Warrior Fifteen from down under
Trained so hard Hakka to outclap thunder
Scared s..t off rivals
To reach the Finals
At Twitch-in-Ham where Prince roared like Pauper
Anthems sweet lulled the cheery spectator
World hushed to watch Black Hakka Warrior
Earth shook hearts thumped shrieked gulls
Petrified spell-bound rivals
Warrior lungs burst Cup won by neither
Big-money football magnates cheered together
At last World will look up to footballer
American rivals
Or Pelé-fan Bra-zil’s
Hakka now sole weapon of US soldier
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2015
Written by
Mark J. Halliday
Categories:
hilarious, humorous, military, silly, travel, world,
Measure For Measure
I moved to Europe.
They measured weight by volume.
Completely absurd!
Written by
Volodymyr Knyr
Categories:
color, death, humorous, men, military, soldier, youth,
Marines
An aspiring marine
is assuredly green,
but he's not as much green
as a drowned marine.
Volodymyr Knyr
2014
Written by
Gail Foster
Categories:
education, food, humorous, military, sun, time, war,
Tank Fest Tanka
Tim went to the Bovington Tank Festival...
baking in hot sun
spud boy wargasms like blitzkrieg
contemplating tanks
injustice of war ice cream
chocolate shrapnel sprinkled
Written by
Volodymyr Knyr
Categories:
horse, humorous, men, military, soldier, women,
The Smartest Cavaliers
The smartest cavaliers at the command 'To horse!'
contrive to be in time for both a horse and whores.
Volodymyr Knyr
2014
Written by
Rudolph Rinaldi
Categories:
dark, destiny, giggle, military, peace, political, war,
Watch Our
watch out
for the white flag
with a sharp finial
on top of the staff
it will pierce your heart
in the name of peace
with a black laugh
Written by
Sidney Beck
Categories:
humor, introspection,
Military Names
MILITARY NAMES
Names are chosen to suggest aggression;
Anything smacking of peace is for suppression.
Soviet subs are Typhoons not Seabreezes.
The USAF flies Eagles, not Robins
And it’s a Tomcat, not a Tabby cat,
Real men fly a Hornet not a Butterfly.
The British prefer Harrier to Supporter.
Native American names can include
The Tomahawk but not the Prayer Bead,
And the Apache but not the Micmac.
No doubt a new aircraft carrier
Could be called the Charles Bronson
But not called the Oscar Wilde.
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
humorous, military, native american,
Custer's Final Muster
There once lived a general named Custer,
Well-known for his arrogance and bluster.
He met his Waterloo,
By bands of wrathful Sioux.
Could be said this was his final muster!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
humorous, military,
A Marine Called Gunny
There was this tough old Marine called Gunny.
Cussin' spewed from him like gurglin' honey.
He ran a very taut ship,
And nobody gave him lip,
'Cept his spouse who addressed him as 'Sonny'!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
humor, military,
Uncle Sam Needs Ewe
A military wife may screw
Each man on her husband's work crew
A Service wife
Repels all strife
Because she is One of The Few
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
humorous, military,
A Disgruntled Recruit
There was once a recruit named Hubie Hunt,
Who hoped to fly but was told "no" so blunt,
"Sorry, you ain't qualified"
So Hubie was certified
To tote a gun as a ground poundin' grunt!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
Written by
Andrew Fairchild
Categories:
humorous, hurt, military, pain, thanks, war,
Wounded
I am bleeding less, now that my index finger's in the wound, sir!
1/27/2019
(fiction!)
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
humorous, military,
Cletus O'Toole's Navy Career Sank Sans a Trace
Cletus joined the Navy on a fool whim
And was told he needed to learn to swim
He was launched off the dock
And he sank like a rock
The Navy straightaway got rid of him
Written by
Terry Ireland
Categories:
absence, humor, love, military, passion,
Embarkation
On Embarkation leave
Too long a time to waste
But just enough hours
So as not to need haste
They made love together
Forty seven different ways
Spent a honeymoon period
In an ecstatic kind of daze
They kissed goodbye so tenderly
As if he was never coming back
From his third term of duty
On streets patrol in Iraq
They laughed about it afterwards
About how they spent those days
Making love to each other
Forty seven different ways
Written by
Roger Roger
Categories:
funny,
Military Officers
I've met with Major Problem
To discuss a business problem
But his brother General Problem
Was so jealous, it's a problem
For he thought that the younger Problem
Did not want to invite him
General Problem was so hysterical
Uttering words adversely lyrical
General Merchandise was so disturbed
To the older Problem he was perturbed
General Electric was forced to intervene
General Problem became serene
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
hilarious, military, political,
Cic Roll Model
Did you see our POTUS toddle?
Its called the, "Air Force One Waddle"
But a U. S. Marine
Claims our POTUS is clean
And the Army's top roll model.
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
humorous, military,
Cletus O'Toole's Dismal Army Career
Cletus O'Toole was a hopeless recruit
Cletus cared for the army not one hoot
He was the sergeants bane
And deemed their rules inane
He was asked to leave and given the boot
Written by
James Edward Lee Sr.
Categories:
adventure, analogy, character, environment, funny,
Military Duck W-Anting Dessert
Popcorn
stillborn
Colonel
kernal
Combat
dessert
Army
charming
Uncooked
good luck
quack quack
says duck
10/12/20
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr © 2020
Written by
John Lawless
Categories:
funny, military,
Overheard On the Parade Grounds
"Oh, look, my little Johnny is the only one in step".