Humorous and funny Monorhyme poems and/or funny poems about Monorhyme. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Monorhyme funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Monorhyme Poems.
funny, husband, wife,
When you come home late at night
Open the door and turn on the light
You had better be extremely quite
Or your goodly wife you may excite
And I'm sure she will not be polite
When she orders you out of her sight
There is no use trying to be contrite
The dog will have company overnight
Your goose is well and truly cooked alright
death, eulogy, funny,
I slipped on a teardrop and landed in a laugh...
Who knew my tragic ending would have a happy half?
Please chuckle at my funeral and make my epitaph:
"I slipped on a teardrop and landed in a laugh"
friendship, funny, halloween,
Sister, sister sitting there so sweet
Looking so virtuous, acting discreet.
Any male would eagerly bow at your feet
You have no idea of your allure, you're without conceit
Are you offering up a trick or a treat?
Only then will this Halloween finally be complete
Ready your answers to God when you do meet
For nuns of your stature are becoming obsolete!
For my girlfriend who dressed up as a sexy nun.
giving endless supply . . .
bright sun, blue sky
beauties for the eye
bird and butterfly
fields of wild rye
in soft winds sigh
and foxes sly
preying hawk's wild cry
on eye and ear sweetly lie
all of nature's works comply
until I hear you sigh
our whole walk gone awry
feet covered in cow pie
Faye Lanham Gibson
Copyright, October 9, 2014
humorous, integrity, music,
Spins discs of plastic
He’s so sarcastic -
Thinks he’s fantastic!
He’s on a health kick
Eat prunes in aspic....
His guts turn spastic
Diarrhoea quite drastic!
Simple silly scribbles after eating prunes for breakfast whilst listening to an 'in your face dj' on internet radio!
I can see you stop and stare
At my horrible purple hair
I declare ,life is so not fair
For I tried and tried to repair
This miserable hair affair
Some advice Id like to share
Of changing appearance be aware
Follow directions with great care
Or you may gaze with sad despair
........ At a head of purple hair
Just written in jest
For the new contest
To town he goes in fuzzy socks and crocs.
Do watch him! See how proudly that he walks.
He likes the way that everybody gawks
as he strolls down the city’s many blocks.
He bets they’re thinking, “What a silver fox!”
Whereas THEY think his head is filled with rocks.
How comfortable his crocs. How warm his socks.
He feels so good. Down by one of the docks
where street performers strut around like cocks,
I plug my ears. He’s playing his squeez-box!
June 16, 2021
for the Fuzzy Socks And Crocs Poetry Contest of Francine Roberts
character, fantasy, giggle, spoken word, word play,
Overcome by a wave of curiosity
I decided to try out seriosity
For which I'd no particular precocity
'Twas an ill-fated breeze of impetuosity
With visions absurd of grandiosity
I'd portray Julius Caesar with proper pomposity
Though, to be sure, my toga's fit was an atrocity
Not to mention my Latin dialogue's tortuosity
Yet utterly convinced of my latent geniosity
I spoke my lines with preternatural verbosity
Hark! Were those boos of unaccustomed ferocity?
~ To the nearest Exit, tomato-smeared, at hypervelocity...
fantasy, humorous, pain,
I was swinging from my glass chandelier
Lost my grip and landed smack on my rear
Banged my head and blood poured out of my ear
I screamed expletives nobody should hear!
The ache in my bum was very severe
Sobbing with pain I shed a salty tear
An ambulance was called, it was soon here
The driver said 'oh not you again dear ..
you need to stay sober and keep off beer…
It’s the second time you’ve done this this year'!
Checked with how many syllables
Contest Monorhyme Mania
Sponsored by John Hamilton
R J. Elless
Suspect Dapper Draper,
half-scammed a bank caper.
With his brother Baker,
Whose a known safe breaker.
They rode on fly paper.
To escape down a scraper.
The plans were mere vapor.
They were caught in a chaser.
Serving ten at hard labor.
Guess it would've been plainer,
If they'd read the disclaimer.
Those crazy brothers Draper..
SHOULD I WOW YOU
Should I essay to wow you I trow
That my words shall be honest I vow
No mere rhymes such as ‘How now brown cow’
But an aesthetic furrow I’ll plough
Then I’ll speak my lines if you’ll allow
As we sit in cool shade neath a bough
And you fan gentle breeze on my brow
While empyrean scene I endow
For my impudence I should kowtow
Now please pardon my lack of knowhow
If I press my attention e’en now
You’d be right to say ‘Basta! and chao!’
But I’ll try one more time anyhow
Just dream that you are in Curaçao
Or on tropical sea in a dhow
And then wake up in Slough. Holy wow!
21 August 2019
L Milton Hankins
art, family, fantasy, humor, poetry,
For some reason, I feel especially vindicated
Learning recently that I won’t be syndicated,
I know many of my dear family are titillated
Since they are of my readers most dedicated.
In my writings, over the years, I’ve indicated
That with superb honors I’ve been inundated,
Still, I’ve made every effort to be insulated,
Although lately I’ve been rather stimulated
And, for the most part, yes, entirely pixilated;
That is, when I am not totally inebriated!
written December 20, 2021
clothes, fairy, fashion, funny, gender, humorous, identity,
I like my body when it's with your clothes.
With your skirts and with your hose.
Panties, bras and stilettos -
you must let me BORROW those!
Oooh, they're tight... I don't suppose
you've got these in open toes...?
For the 'Complete the Line' Contest
Line 3: ‘I like my body when it is with your..’---e.e. cummings
angst, childhood, funny
Here’s to the young lad named TRUSTY,
back then the girls were quite BUSTY,
no wonder his thoughts were LUSTY.
Lately, that thinking’s getting DUSTY,
cause the joint(s) is/are getting RUSTY!
*For the Monorhyme contest using every rhyme I ever heard with my name growing up.
Sho' ain't no riddle
There’s no time to twiddle
So just for a diddle
May I play and piddle
And then perhaps fiddle
Around with your middle?
When consumed by lots of stresses
And time inevitably presses.
The lesson to be learned I guess is,
And prevent doing more than less is,
Avoid too often the use of “yess’s”.
For those who learn the use of ‘no’,
In confidence will surely grow.
And when asked to do ‘so and so’
And are told, ‘it will only take a mo …..,’
Will have the assurance to just say, ‘No.’
assonance, confusion, environment, howl, humorous, innocence, meaningful,
I wore a condom for my mate
and said it glowed to throw my weight.
But when she asked to know it's fate
the light was on and it was late.
funny, me, love, me,
This is going to be a secret funny tale
not told before,but now I must tell
some soupers are sending me sweet soupmails
as if they are in a journey with me in love rail
or taking me to a love island on a sail
and they are doing it constantly without fail
of course they are not male but female
till now they are thinking that I'm a male
I think it is my name that leaves a manly trail
though never did I mention that I am a male
enough is enough and now I am going to unveil
who those soupers are to turn their faces pale.
** Do not forget to read what Andrea Dietrich wrote in her
poem "A Soup Tragedy" in reply to this poem.
“Let go your hold
Your hands are cold
And it’s getting old
When I am un-holed
My soul’s been sold
So they can behold
That a marmot’s found gold
Since they think I’ve foretold
And cast a dark spot
Or maybe not
Coz all I got
Is a long shot
See my nerves are shot
Since I don’t know squat
And danger is fraught
If I show what is naught
Yet they still seek
Punx Phil’s mystique
And ask that I speak
But I only squeak
Then they’ll all peek
At my chubby physique
Of which they’ll critique
Plus there’s still six more weeks”
Without any hesitation
I must reach my destination
I don't have an explanation
No time for conversation
I'll need all my concentration
As I plan my evacuation
With just a minor complication
I'm in need of medication
I'll need all my dedication
To ignore this aggravation
But out of desperation
And hours of deprivation
I come to the realization
That it's only constipation
Sidney Hall Mad Poet
I look up at them with a frightful awe of a stare
How the, does a chunk of metal float up there?
With a hundred or more people, it sails through the air.
When I’m in one, my tongue is always spurting out a prayer
My fingers become one with the chair
And when I get out, I curse and swear
They give me a hell of a scare
So to you who are like me, I’d thought I’d make you aware
These things can fall out of the sky, you beware
So do take care
And always remember, carry a change of underwear
Did you ever try growing minks?
Or writing poems with kinks?
With dark or colored inks?
And soft and lightened pinks?
Write messages that links,
With the Mysterious Sphinx?
Get on a boat that sinks?
Use metals made of zinc's?
Go skating at the rinks?
"AW," you say, "That stinks!"
For that, my eye now winks!
And I'll just put a jinx,
On anyone that blinks!!!
angst, funny, me,
What is it with this obsessive compulsion
Destroying every dust ball’s conception
In folks’ unkempt homes I feel no revulsion
Yet that offers me little consolation
For cleaning my own home is an addiction
Often resulting in great agitation
Exploding as an internal combustion
This behavior’s like a viral infection
My disorder leads to immaculation
I’ve dispelled all hopes of emancipation
For much to my own “clean freak” consternation
I still live in over-sanitization.
Entry for Shani Fassbender’s “Tell Me a Secret” contest
A “true obsession” probably handed down by my mother
who was lightheartedly referred to as the “White Glove.”
Mr. Clean was her role model.
business, funny, blue,
As I sit at a table surrounded by reds,
I feel so inferior, blue fills my head.
They spill out black and blue to all I’ve said,
The air is a blend of purple-grey lead.
Pink and peach flow from what I’ve read,
To think I awoke from whiteness of my bed,
Didn’t know egos so green would need to be fed,
Frankly this meeting- well I’d rather be dead.
Written September 18, 2012
For Lisa Cooper’s contest
“Tickle Me Pink”