Funny Poems About Grandmother or Grandmother Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Grandmother poems and/or funny poems about Grandmother. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Grandmother funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Grandmother Poems.

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: 12th grade, family, father daughter, humor, humorous, mother daughter, relationship,

My Princess

When I grow up, will I still be princess?

Of course, says glowing daddy. 
 
A roll of the queen’s eyes.

Poem Details | by MoonBee Canady |
Categories: daughter, family, funny, happiness, life, love, mother, nature, nostalgia, peace, people, seasons

Its Raining...

                          Its Raining…

God’s Cleansing Tool
Cloud-Concerto… How Cool !
Plop-Plop Plopping into Pothole Pools
On the Grass, Pavements and On My Own-Sweet- Fools…

who, don’t have Sense enough, to get out of the Rain…
… I think I’ll go Join Them… Again

                               Amen


Poem Details | by Flippant She-Creature |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, health, lost love, love, mother, parody, romance, satire, sorry,

Shall I Compare Thee to Your Mother's ****

Shall I compare thee to your mother's ****?
Thou aren’t more lovely, but more flatulent.
Rough winds do shake it; and bring on a farce
And all her clothes hath all too short a rent

Sometime too hot-headed of hell doth burn,
And often is the true nature exposed;
And every foul from fowl; my stomach churns,
By reason, or by nature's raging closed.

But thy infernal diet shall ne’er start
Nor gain possession of which now I grasp;
Nor shall we meet again; let’s stay apart,
When in eternal sounds the voice does rasp,
So long as men can breathe or eyes can cry,
So long lives this, and I bid thee goodbye.

Poem Details | by Timothy Brumley |
Categories: family, funny, mother

A Clean Hacienda

There once was a woman named Linda

Who would keep a clean hacienda

     Till four children she bore

     And then bore she one more...

She now has a different agenda!




                            Timothy I. Brumley

Poem Details | by Sandra Haight |
Categories: humor, mother, son,

Elizabeth's Throne

Elizabeth’s Throne You still sit on England’s grand throne! For sixty plus years crown you own! Your subjects all wait— Will you abdicate? Will Charles make it to the King zone? © Sandra M. Haight 2015 All Rights Reserved ~1st Place Contest: Long Live the Queen Sponsor: Judy Konos Judged: 06/06/2015
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Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: food, humorous,

WHAT DIDN'T KILL US - MY MOTHER IN LAW'S COOKING

I endured burnt offerings at the table - A meal ‘cooked’ by my mother in law If I hadn’t been married her lovely son I’d have walked straight out of the door! I heaved at every charred mouthful Smiled, and said the meal was ‘divine’ She told me she’d had cookery lessons But her food was only fit to feed swine! Is my poem just a fairy story Or is it a clever allegory? What Doesn’t Kill Us Contest Sponsored by Laura Loo 74 words 02~24~17

Poem Details | by Lisa Bailey |
Categories: childhood, funny, mother, son, mother,

Mother May I

Mother may I 
Go out and play
My child
Have you cleaned your room today

Are your toys packed away
in your toy chest with care
Yes mother yes 
its all in there

Did you make your bed 
like i showed you how
yes mother yes
may I go now

Yes son yes
after a brief inspection
son shakes his head
not what I was expecting

Never-mind mother
I'm going to my room
oh by the way
can you hand me the broom?

Poem Details | by Debra L Brown |
Categories: 2nd grade, 3rd grade, flower, giggle, nature, spring, winter,

Mother Nature's Scolding

****



                                 Winter and spring had a fight.
                            We had 4 inches of snow late last night.
                       The tulips and daffodils are covered in snow.
                          Cold winds and temperatures above zero.
                      Their dear mother said, "You two better play nice!"
                         "Do not cross me or you'll pay the price."


                                      
                              
                             
             

Poem Details | by Maureen McGreavy |
Categories: father, humor, mother,

My Dad Is Dead, I Think

Try to recall
What was he like?
Seems so long ago
Years and fathers alike.

Was he the second,
Or maybe the third?
So many behind me
My memory is blurred.

My mom's average is low,
Two years at the most;
Believe me twelve fathers
Is nothing to boast.

He looked so familiar,
How could I forget?
Was he my real dad?
I fill with regret,

For now he lies buried
Six feet below.
Was he my real dad?
I may never know.




circa 1989

Poem Details | by Gail DeBole |
Categories: child, children, cute, humor, innocence, kid, mother,

The Wrinkle Mystery

Written on 9/26/2022
Updated on 9/27/202
by Gail DeBole

The young boy was watching his mom
Straighten sheets on his bed with her palms.
He began scratching his head
Looked at the floor and his bed
And seemed to be mildly alarmed.

The young boy who was not quite four, 
Said, “The wrinkles are not on the floor.
It did not take long 
For them to be gone,
But why did they not fall to the floor?"

Poem Details | by Sarah Cassleman |
Categories: dad, family, funny, grandfather, grandmother, mother, mom, dad, dad, mom,

My Heritage

My heritage is a mixture
Of backgrounds.  Let's start on 
My Dad's side of the family.

My Dad's mom is Irish and English.

My Dad's dad is Irish and German.

My Mom's mom is Scottish and Irish.

My Mom's dad is blood Hungarian.

So in other words,
I'm a mutt!  or as others say,
"Heinz 57!"

Poem Details | by JSLambert Mister ROBOTO |
Categories: caregiving, childhood, confusion, family, father, children, funny, happiness, holiday, husband, imagination, life, mother, natural disasters, nature, parody, people, places, satire, social, son, teen, wife

Redneck FATHER'S DAY------

***NOTE~TO BE READ WITH A RIDICULOUS "SILKY SOUTHERN DRAWL" (have fun:)***



"Storm over yet...?"

"Well hay'ell ye'ah! 
 woo-hoo!
 sum'body git me a da'gumm cole beer.
 whadda'bou  that boy th'er?
 sum'body git him'a cole beer too!"

"Diddy! that boy ain't nothin' but 8 years old!"

"Wha'choo sayin? 
 wha'th'a?
 na'I don't give a jolly'durn, if he ain't nuttin but 8 year'owed!
 shoot! 
 'dat boy dun' sat him thr'ew a big ol', storm! 
 torna'durr warnin' too!
 he gonna have him'a cole burr;  
 on me!"
 my treat!
 mama, git him'a cole burr! 
 ro'tt now; 
 ya'here?
 besides...
 ta'days father's day!" 



© 2011  ~JSLambert Esquire

   










Poem Details | by Larry Belt |
Categories: funny

The Mother-In-Law Limerick

With only one look it ruptured my spleen
The ugliest creature I've ever seen
You'd know if you ever saw
It's called my mother-in-law
And smells like the gas produced from a bean

Poem Details | by Mark Goodson |
Categories: childhood, family, fear, children, funny, life, mother,

A Mother's discipline

With soap in hand placed in my mouth
Head hangs over toliet tongue heads south
Dirty words no more

Poem Details | by Tirzah Conway |
Categories: angst, childhood, confusion, dedication, devotion, faith, family, fear, funeral, funny, hope, imagination, life, mother, nature, on writing and words, parody, people,

Where does the Time go

I feel as though time is slipping away,
And more is gone each passing day…

Poem Details | by Cindi Rockwell |
Categories: crazy, daughter, funny, mother, mother daughter,

MOMMA KNOWS BEST -- for contest

Momma always told me,
"Children should be seen but not heard."
'Til I streaked through her Garden Party
And muttered not a word.

Momma always told me,
"The best birth control is an aspirin held tight between your knees."
But my boyfriends ALL had headaches!
Glad I put their heads at ease!

Momma always told me,
"They won't buy the cow if they get the milk for free,"
So I never served my best beaus milk,
Just liquor, wine and me!

Poor momma had another saying,
"You'll be the death of me!"
Momma, you were always right!
There was arsenic in that tea.

7/1/15

Poem Details | by Marie Harrison |
Categories: fantasy, children, funny, happiness, holiday, imagination, mother, nostalgia, people, seasons, upliftinghalloween,

Last Minute Halloween Costume

Last Minute Halloween Costume
Toilet paper wraps;
Costs less to dress as mummy,
Mom thinks it’s funny!

Poem Details | by Colm Sweeney |
Categories: humorous, religion,

Mother Teresa

Mother Teresa of Calcutta,
Was a bit of a nutter,
She upset the slums, 
When playing the drums.

Poem Details | by Tirzah Conway |
Categories: allegory, family, father, funny, husband, mother, wife

She really did get this call

I wish I could be a fly on the wall,
  
When my poor old mother gets the phone call,

        “He’s here at the bar
  
        Quick bring us your car,

Your husband just got in a brawl”

Poem Details | by Cona Adams |
Categories: humor, mother,

Mother

Generous to a fault,
stubborn as a mule;
a bit older than dirt
but as a general rule-

we treasure your smile,
love your sense of humor;
we applaud your *****
and we've spread the rumor-

that in your younger days
you ate fatback and greens
and could wield a switch 
that made us shoot our beans.

In spite of all the memories
and recurring nightmare scenes,
we're proud to call you Mom
and glad we've got your genes.

Poem Details | by Katherine Stella |
Categories: funny, imagination, mother, nature, philosophy, seasons, visionary,

Don't Mess With Mom

                                                    there is no fury
                                                like a woman's fury -
                                           so don't mess with mom










Tribute To
Mother Nature


It's Not Nice 
Fooling 
Mother Nature   LOL

Poem Details | by Cassie Smith |
Categories: family, friendship, funny, happiness, hope, life, love, mother, nature, passion, seasons,

Mothers Day

Mothers are the best 
They are like a test
They are very loving 
They like a flower budding
The treat us like a fest.

Poem Details | by Julie Grenness |
Categories: break up, change, cheer up, divorce, family, funny, goodbye,

My Mother in law is Poisoning me

MY MOTHER-IN-LAW IS POISONING ME!

I think my mother-in-law is poisoning me.
The electric range is smelling strange,
She tests the smoke detector by cooking everyday....
Now the entire kitchen is acting deranged.
Semolina at 3:30,
Mercury hits 120 degrees!
Nausea and stomach cramps are rising in me,
Red-sauced tripe is afflicting me.
Outside it's now Celsius 43 degrees.
Now Bulimia is what I see,
I have to stay for tea,
Yes, my mother-in-law is poisoning me,
There's much to said for ...
D.I.V.O.R.C.E!!!!!

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: clothes, humorous, mother daughter,

GREEN SLEEVES - BAWDY LIMERICK EDITED

Val’s daughter was picking her nose Then wiping snot on Val’s new clothes When Val finds sticky mess Of green slime on her dress The distress in her quickly rose Green bogeys all over her sleeve So slimy they make poor Val heave To resolve this issue Hands daughter a tissue But bogeys on dress will not leave! Val’s outfit that once was pristine Is covered with snot of bright green To compound Val’s distress She cannot wash this dress Dry cleaning should get her dress clean! each stanza 8,8,6,6,8 checked with how many syllables 3/14/19

Poem Details | by Alex Klugman |
Categories: funny,

Said mother-in-law

Said mother-in-law: -" When my time to come,
My ashes scatter in this court in a burial rite."
Thinking, the son-in-law answered in fright: -
"But, if  a wind  drive you in house again, dear mum?"