Humorous and funny Mum poems and/or funny poems about Mum. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Mum funny poems!
Written by
Carolyn Devonshire
Categories:
funny, mum,
Titillating Experience
Mom caught her boob in the washer’s wringer
Rotor made Mom an opera singer
Tit for tat, she got redder
Pop struggled with the lever
I pulled the plug, was able to spring ‘er
Wow! Mum is the word on this awful day
We don’t refer to this deed of foul play
“Hah! Your Dad’s a dud," she cried
As with pain pills she was plied
Now under the radar Pop stays away
*Entry for David William’s Palindrome Mad Contest
By Carolyn Devonshire
Palindrome Words:
Mom, boob, rotor, tit, tat, redder, Pop, Wow, Mum, refer, deed, Hah!, Dad, dud, radar
Written by
Sneha Rv
Categories:
child, childhood, children, christian, christmas, funny
Keeping Mum
Reindeer wait
by the pane
I see shapes
A present!
Santa thinks
I’m asleep
Smells like mum
lent Santa
her perfume... ?
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, mum,
Hold On Darling - I'M Coming
He’s always waiting for me – he’s as impatient as can be
The car engine is running - I shout ‘Darling I’m coming’
But we don’t need to be with mum until three!
MEN!
30th March 2015
Written by
Terry Flood
Categories:
angst, humorous, lust,
My Mates Mum
With her very shapely thighs
And her nice firm bum
I can’t keep my eyes
Off my best mate’s mum
We could have fallen out
But we’re getting on fine
I’ve got my eyes on his mum
And he’s got his on mine
Ben’s sat in the corner
As our teacher called him bad
He’d pinched the teacher’s bottom
Which had made the teacher mad
The teacher should be flattered
And should not make Ben feel sad
But I’m a little worried
’Cause the teacher is my dad
Well, I stood up for Ben
It’s just his teenage angst
A trip to the head’s office
Was my only thanks
I stood outside the door
The sign just said ‘Headmaster’
Inside I heard my mother screaming
Faster baby, faster!
Written by
John Williams
Categories:
children, funny, poetry, mum,
Gorilla In the Kitchen
I don't know why she's done it,
She normally is quite sane,
Mum said she bought a new gorilla,
It really is a pain.
She said she put it in the kitchen,
Not far from the sink,
What if I want to go to the tap
And get myself a drink.
I wonder how large it is?
If it will sit with us to eat?
I wonder what we'll name it?
And where it's going to sleep?
But when I tip-toed to the kitchen
A large animal I didn't see,
It was just an electric griller
And mum cooking lunch for me.
- more poems like this can be found at:
kidscomedypoetry.com.au
Written by
John Williams
Categories:
children, funny, mum,
Attack of the Giant Dinosaur
I didn't really mean,
To do what I have done,
I trod on a dinosaur's tail
And now I'm on the run.
He's about forty feet long
And he's breathing down my neck,
My heart is purely throbbing
And my nerves are all a wreck.
He's just about on top of me
His teeth about to crunch.
Oh where do you hide from a dinosaur
When you're about to be his lunch.
"Stop playing with that lizard Tommy
And come on in for tea,"
"Ah, you'd spoil any game mum
For a little boy like me."
-more poems like this can be found at:
kidscomedypoetry.com.au
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
humorous, mom, mum,
Egads and Little Fishes
“Egads and little fishes”
Reminds me of my dear old mum
Covering her head uttering this phrase
Thunder made her come undone
Terrified by each electrical storm
Dear mum would nearly passed out
With thunder, lightning, and pelting rain
She'd cower in a corner throughout
Really felt bad, she was truly scared
Tried hard not to laugh at the sight
Of mum with her apron over her head
Praying hard with all of her might
Things that happen during childhood days
Stay with us as by us life swishes
I'll always remember mum's little saying
“Egads and little fishes”
© Jack Ellison 2013
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
children, humorous, mum,
Green Meany
She stood innocently picking her nose
Wiped green slime upon mummy’s pretty clothes
When her mum saw the mess
Even she will confess
That mum and daughter almost came to blows
Apologies for the subject .... but the challenge by John Wulf was to come up with a limerick to use with his picture
8th July 2015
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
desire, humorous, mum,
Enigma
All day long I dreamed of you
Lying there so temptingly
I couldn’t wait to hold you
Just the thought of you filled me with desire
I wanted you oh so badly…
And then I opened that door
The door that separated me from you
To my horror I found you had gone
You had simply vanished into thin air
Lying there in your place was a note
I slowly scanned the lilac paper
It read …
I’m sorry mum I couldn’t resist that last cream scone…
I slammed the fridge door shut so hard it nearly fell off its hinges!
06~09~15
Submitted to Mystery Contest Sponsored by Nayda Ivette Negron
Written by
John Williams
Categories:
children, funny, mum,
Training of a Shopaholic
My mum thinks I'm so smart,
She puts me in the shopping cart,
I always point out what to buy,
Sometimes my mum gives me a sigh,
Good shopping is an art.
Written by
James Fraser
Categories:
fun, funny, silly, mum,
Why There's No Baby Planes
On a flight to Auckland one day
A mother over hearing her son say
Cats and Dogs can have babies
Can planes do that maybe
Ask the attendant, see what she says
So off to the attendant he asks
Is it possible that planes do this task
Did your mother tell you
To ask me if it's true
Tell her to tell and not mask
As the little boy was walking away
Following him the attendant did say
No baby planes you will find
Qantas pulls out on time
Ask mum to explain this today
.
Written about a Joke I heard ;-)
Written by
John Williams
Categories:
children, funny, mum,
Wisha, Washa
Wisha, washa, washing up,
I dropped my mum's favourite cup,
It fell onto the tile floor,
A hundred pieces maybe more,
My mum just might crackup.
Written by
Ajani Ibrahim
Categories:
food, funny, mum,
Dinner
Yeah! Dinner at my home is set at nine
Please don't come, mum would freak, and dad would whine
Chicken and chips
My lil bro weeps
And mum says 'dude get him a glass of wine'
Written by
John Fenn
Categories:
funny, mum,
Thingummybob
Who’s that fellow that came, you know, what’s his name?
The one who was quite underweight
He came round last week, with a zit on his cheek
And he mended and painted our gate
Come on, you should know it was you had to show
Him the things that were needing repair
He was ever so lean and not very clean
And was toothless with bright ginger hair
He had no teeth at all he was ever so tall
And was scrawny and lanky and long
He’d no meat on his frame but was awfully game
And for someone so skinny, quite strong
His mum had dementia he’d mislaid his denture
He came and he did a good job
He was gummy and thin with an odd kind of grin
Oh yes! It was thin gummy Bob
Written by
T Wignesan
Categories:
humorous, mum,
Limerick: Once a Mum Mademoiselle Rode In a Metro
Limerick: Once a mum Mademoiselle rode in a Metro
for Heather M.
Once (a) mum Mademoiselle rode in (a) Metro
Felt snug and dozed dreaming of Brando
Lights went out, the train stopped
Coach temperature dropped
She woke up in arms of Eskimo.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
Written by
Susan Barnes
Categories:
angst, career, humorous, inspiration, mom, satire
Career Mum
Would Joan of Arc be a post office clerk
In the year of two thousand and four?
And Lady Godiver, if we could revive her
Would she mop the kitchen floor?
These heros of history, make my lifestyle a mystery
Such women we shouldn’t ignore
So well in my thirties, with hand cream and nappies
I went down on my knees, despite the dog’s fleas
For a Wonderbra, a fancy new car
And a job that would take me far
Now I’m totally weary, yet it seemed fine in theory
To split myself in two . . . as you do!
But I feel like a martyr, this lark’s a non-starter
And I blame Bodacea and Germaine Greer
For this deep-rooted need to have a career
Written by
Joel Yeap
Categories:
family, funny, happiness, life, love, mother
My Mum!
The blue, clear sea, just so calm.
Exactly like my dear Mum.
She had never, ever raged.
Though she may have a little aged.
I stick to her like gum!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
chocolate, food, for her, humorous,
Let Her Eat Cake - For Mum
I went into my kitchen to bake
An enormous rich chocolate cake
Mother gobbled the lot -
On the plate not a jot
No wonder she's got belly ache!
Mum challenged me to write a limerick about cake!
10/3/18
Written by
James Horn
Categories:
funny, humor, humorous, mum,
Some Sex Appeal
Some Sex Appeal
(In Response to Ward's poem about Sunday)
Fixing Sunday roast is a piece of toast
What I always like about it the most
It comes with mint potatoes and parsnips.
Pudding on each Sunday has proved to be
Annoying like bad boys who also do me
So much energy pudding it will produce
But they still needed a nap I did deduce.
Why don't we just cut all of the crap
Quiet is best thing about a Sunday nap
Each night pray to God when I kneel
Give me a pregnant mum some sex appeal.
Ho ho.
James Thomas Horn, Retired Veteran
Written by
Peter Lewis Holmes
Categories:
humor, youth, mum,
The Bouncing Teenage Bed
Sex was why I left the homely coop,
lack of it to tell the truth.
And when I got into my flat, with every
girl I hung my hat.
Thank you mam and wham bam bam,
at last my life, was full of jam.
To wake up with a damsel’s cheer,
convinced my friends I was not *****.
So I could walk, and play the ball, and in
my arms, more gals would fall.
With bouncing boobs and butts like jelly,
I had no time to watch the telly.
Sighs and butts and boobs and squeals,
Now I know how heaven feels.
But in my lust I ne’er forgot; the coop
and mum and dad I got.
Written by
Felicia Jarvis
Categories:
animal, forgiveness, love, mother, mum, my child
Muddy Funny Bunny
Hurry, hurry, hurry
Funny bunny plays
Windy sunny field
Muddy small silly
Feels guilt
Feels sorry
Mummy still loves
Muddy funny bunny
18th December 2017
Fem Bogstaver (Danish) - Poetry Contest for Money
Sponsored by Rhoda Tripp
Written by
Sidney Beck
Categories:
funny, mum,
Three Pigs - the Early Days
THREE PIGS - THE EARLY DAYS
At first it was just a piglet and mum
And the pig-house had plenty of room
But when mum had another litter
They needed more than a pig baby-sitter
The rooms were just too full
And mum was glad when they went to school
But after school it was home again
And the overcrowding caused some pain.
So mum said you must go build houses three.
…and the rest is history .
Written by
Leon Wilson
Categories:
children, funny, mum,
Washing Pots
Sometimes when I'm washing pots
It drives me round the bend
Big plates little plates knife and forks
They seem to never end.
The plates though are quite easy
You can wash them very quick
But when it comes to greasy pans
They really make me sick.
Why is it when I wash up
I get water every where
And because I'm only three foot two
I stand upon a chair.
Why do I have to wash the pots
I'm only eight years old
My mum heard me moaning
She said do as you are told.
I got a little angry
Splashing water every where
And started mumbling to myself
Washing pots is just not fair.
Written by
Gwendolen Song
Categories:
childhood, funny, mum,
My Mum Served Me Coffee
Since I was three my mum served me coffee
I was her first child so she was merely experimenting
I bounced to and fro and spoke faster than she
By the time I was four she switched me to decaffeinated tea!
Gwendolen Rix
5-20-14
Written by
John Arthur
Categories:
hilarious, home, horror, humor, lust, mum
The Washing Machine
The Washing Machine
Trembling, writhing in pleasure!
Upon which arouses without measure,
As it was, as it were,
The washing machine, upon which sits thy mother!
Behold! A sight unforetold!
This is no jest.
Do not fret, lest
you forget, that she hath needs of her own.
Tis be best to forget, bleach thou minds eye of what art known,
seeing as thou an adult, fully grown.
Run away! As what witnessed, to thou, thine eyes doth shewed and shown
What was witnessed upon that vibrating throne,
the screams of your mother on that pleasurable chrome!
Tis a tragedy, especially in thou home.
02/23/2023