Funny Poems About My Child or My Child Funny Poems

Humorous and funny My Child poems and/or funny poems about My Child. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious My Child funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other My Child Poems.

Poem Details | by The Grahamburglar |
Categories: childhood, children, funny, kid, moon, my child, parents,

Pink Sky at Night

I really want the moon, who smiles oh so bright,
to be a little different, if only for tonight.
Last night it was a circle, same as the night before,
its always been a circle, and that is such a bore.
So little star up in the sky, I wish I may and might,
make the moon a triangle, and make it pink, not white.


*Last night my 2 year old daughter saw the moon and said, "I really want the moon to be a triangle, but it keeps being a circle!"

Poem Details | by David Sollis |
Categories: child, daughter, family, girl, grandchild, humorous, my child, silly,

A 4 line poem for H

I know a little girl named Hannah
A pretty, bashful and quiet child
But when she goes to visit Nanna
She eats too much chocolate and goes wild!

Poem Details | by Anna Hopper |
Categories: daughter, fantasy, giggle, imagination, my child, simple,


A twinkle of light in the midnight sky
Giggles, cuddles and a sweet lullaby
She sweeps through the house with her barefoot toes
Leaving a trail of glitter everywhere she goes

Poem Details | by Mark Paul van der Merwe |
Categories: child, confusion, father, fun, funny, silly, teacher,

Not my Child

Once upon a shopping day you see,
A lady was staring at me,
She asked if I remember her,
Uncomfortably I said no,
To this she said, you must know,
As I have your child,
I jumped and explained my past that was wild,
I met a woman like you at the pub,
From there we went to a club,
We were both extremely drunk,
Probably as bad as a skunk,
I had my way with you on the table,
I had my way with you in the stable,
As a matter of fact so did my friend,
This I’m sure the enjoyment you did extend,
Well this could be why,
This child could be from any guy,
No you explained, you fool,
I am a teacher at your child’s school.

Poem Details | by Felicia Jarvis |
Categories: animal, forgiveness, love, mother, mum, my child,

Muddy Funny Bunny

Hurry, hurry, hurry
Funny bunny plays
Windy sunny field

Muddy small silly
Feels guilt
Feels sorry

Mummy still loves 
Muddy funny bunny

18th December 2017

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Poem Details | by Jessica Amanda Salmonson |
Categories: boy, children, funny, humorous, my child, nursery rhyme, silly,

Skinny Leroy

Skinny Leroy
was so thin
A soda straw
fit over him.

Poem Details | by Isaac Odah |
Categories: child, hilarious, humor, my child,


"Ucle," Joe said: "did you feel no pain
Falling from that mango tree?
Would you do it, please, again,
'Cos my brother here didn't see."

Poem Details | by Isaac Odah |
Categories: adventure, beautiful, brother, child, crazy, hilarious, humor, my child,


Joe made a big mark
He painted his albino brother black
When mother found him guilty
Joe said: "black is beauty."

Poem Details | by Vladimir Tumanov |
Categories: food, humor, humorous, my child, son,

Eating Son

What my son loves the most is good food, be it toasted or roasted or stewed. Can he put it away! A filet and entrée will go in and then out of this dude.

Poem Details | by Poet Tellaferro |
Categories: allegory, allusion, analogy, art, beautiful, beauty, boy, cat, change, cheer up, crazy, culture, cute, cute love, deep, devotion, dream, emotions, family, farewell, friendship, fun, funny, funny love, giggle, heartbreak, hope, humanity, image, imagery, imagination, irony, joy, love, love hurts, metaphor, my child, perspective, poems, poetess, poetry, poets, psychological, smile, social, society, surreal, sympathy, tiger,

for the love of cats

…is a cat not the totem of love

your physical contact generates feelings
were the neurons release 
the feeling for good vibes
peace, harmony 

by stroking soft gentle fur 
strong n deep is the purr

serenity brings your heart
to idle
cools your feelings 

you relax

you love your cat 
the best as you can
but like beautiful rose thorns 
can cut like razors
so can the claws of a cat...

love can turn, hurt, bite, flee...

cutting deep!

And just like that your cat is gone
           to somewhere 
                         or someplace 
                                      to someone else…

And only the echoes of little pads are left!

Poem Details | by Vladimir Tumanov |
Categories: child, family, humor, humorous, my child,

Your DNA

If your children — those losers — are moving back home even though they were told to explore and to roam, treat the deadbeats with tact and remember a fact — it was YOUR DNA inside YOUR chromosome.

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: 1st grade, 2nd grade, funny, humor, humorous, my child, perspective,

Don't Get This Started

Delight, happiness, Oozes from her pores.

Shopping spree with girl, age 6.

Can't wait 'til age 7.

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: humorous,

I Would Never Raise My Child Like That

She had all kinds of suggestions.
I was raising my children incorrectly.
She could not stop giving me ideas.
She had never had children of her own,
but I pretended to listen.
My children groaned when they saw her coming.
Made themselves scarce, which gave me a little break.
Ten years later when she had her own children she apologized
for all of those "I would never.'s" because she told me that she has now.