Humorous and funny Mythology poems and/or funny poems about Mythology. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Mythology funny poems!
Written by
Anthony Beck
Categories:
allusion, humorous, mythology, religion,
Whatchamacallit
A total whatchamacallit,
That absolute kinda deal;
We'll never know what it looks like,
Nor how it might taste or feel.
But we'll always recognize it
The minute it's not in sight.
And if you say you're skeptical,
A brouhaha you'll ignite.
Written by
Mike Martin
Categories:
adventure, hilarious, humor, humorous, myth, mythology
Big Mac
McMar’s old man didn't like him much
But he never wondered why
All sorts of horrid demons
Could seen in the old man's eye
McMar’s own mother, Doreeane
Couldn’t wait to deliver her son
They say he tipped the scale
Right around 10.1
The nurses couldn’t believe it
The young one brought him in
“Here’s your new Big Mac”, she said
With a happy little grin
Doree said, Oh, Motherload!
I’m having a heart attack
How in the world did you ever know
I was thinking of calling him Mac
Written by
Ken Duddle
Categories:
funny, mythology, satire,
The Snake
There once was a couple, called Adam and Eve
Who a little joke they did conceive
They told all, that as they walked
They met a snake that talked
But the plan backfired when it was believed.
Written by
Mike Martin
Categories:
christmas, humor, mythology, wife,
Mrs Claus
Christmas without Mrs. Claus
That could never be
Who would feed dear Santa
And trim the Christmas tree
Who would tie the ribbons
And fasten all the bows
Who would help the elves
Hang their stockings all in rows
Who would do the mending
And sew the giant sacs
Who'd care for all the reindeer
And polish up their racks
Who would keep dear Santa jolly
Keep him fat and warm
So he can ride the coldest skies
And weather any storm
All hail the unsung hero
Hooray for Mrs. Claus
The saving grace of Christmas
Best gal that ever was
Written by
Tom Arnone
Categories:
beauty, desire, humor, mythology, sensual, sexy
The Eyes of Venus
Hot raptor breath
Push goosebumps to life
On the golden-honey flesh
Of a most desired sight.
Deeply tanned and rubenesque,
Unsheathed, scented shoulders.
Arms that distill without cause to beckon
The wills of the penile-brained knights.
Wallow in her moist pink flower.
Defend with your armor that nymphet tower.
But beware, Dear Sir, should your eye slip up
Two orbs of Venus power.
Written by
Vladimir Tumanov
Categories:
humorous, myth, mythology,
Tiresias
In Greece there once lived a great seer
named Tiresias. He had no peer
who could see quite as deep
while awake or a sleep.
So he purchased junk bonds every year.
Written by
Rudolph Rinaldi
Categories:
funny, mythology,
The Cross On My Bedroom Wall
the cross on my bedroom wall
keeps away vampires and werewolves
but not mosquitoes
Written by
Elizabeth Smith
Categories:
allegory, beautiful, fantasy, humorous, mythology, sky
A Smoking Gun
A SMOKING GUN
Beholding planet Earth from the far reaches of space,
In the ink black cosmos the observers must give voice
What a beautiful planet have we here
A very unusual blue and green glowing sphere
It must be the gateway to heaven's door
Let's go have a look -- what are we waiting for
If the visitors decide to land on this inviting earthly scene
They'd be met with guns and bullets before counting to 13
Written by
Volodymyr Knyr
Categories:
health, hero, humorous, hurt, men, mythology
Achilles' Heels
There's no any Achilles' heels
that Hippocrates always heals.
Volodymyr Knyr
2014
Written by
Cheryl Hoffman
Categories:
humor, mythology,
Reason For Thor's Thunder
Being a norse god with a hugh appetite,
Thor devoured golden apples with delight,
gained too many pounds,
friction causing sound,
thunder erupting from his massive thighs.
11-3-16
Written by
Mike Martin
Categories:
hilarious, how i feel, humor, humorous, hurt, mythology
Miguel
he knows what they want
he always figures it out
miguel of the south
as the days went by
the masses grew in number
they tore down the walls
they flocked from the hills
and from the moors in the south
from the regal halls
they saw the whole thing
beheld the proclamation
the solemn promise
then he woke up
hardly a truck to be found
dang me, oh, dang me
Written by
Deborah Burch
Categories:
humorous, mythology,
Ogre
Ogre
Often he’s a cranky,
Olive-skinned, swamp dwelling,
Obtusely-witted fiend...
Only bathes in mud—eats
Onions, garlic, ...(sniff)... GAS?!!
Ogre’s in the outhouse!!
Oh! My giddy aunt...RUN!
©deborah burch
4.06.2021
Pleiades
Kim Merryman’s Pleiades O Poetry Contest
Written by
Ricky Smooth
Categories:
analogy, faith, god, growing up, humorous, mythology
A Godly Insight
"What if you woke up tomorrow with only
what you asked god for today?"
As I read, a scowl is freed, then a smile
indeed, and I'll tell you why - I say:
"Poseidon is not so beneficent,
And neither - I wager - is Zeus.
So it seems to me if a man is honest,
he wakes up with what HE has produced."
This much is true. But I jest, of course,
I know they mean well, but let's see...
If god is provider, I'll have some hot cider!
...And yet none is present for me.
"Now, now, be a gentleman. Don't let your
sharp tongue be like teeth." I think.
But if others' boats fill with water,
ought I not inform them they'll sink?
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
funny, humor, mythology, philosophy, psychological, religious
The Minds of Mina and Eunice
Mi: Does God eat his boogers?
Eu: No of course God doesn't eat his boogers.
Mi: But I thought God could do anything.
Eu: Well he could eat his boogers but he just wouldn't.
Mi: So he does have boogers.
Eu: I don't know, I don't think God has boogers.
Mi: God can have anything he wants.
Eu: I don't think he wants boogers.
Mi: I don't think we can understand the mind of God.
Eu: We can't.
Mi: Maybe god is a booger.
Eu: God's not a booger.
Mi: But if God is all things, he's an all-knowing booger.
Eu: Stop it.
Mi: He's a wrathful all-knowing booger.
Eu: I'm not talking to you anymore.
Written by
Mike Martin
Categories:
humorous, mythology, philosophy, word play,
Olive Eo Munny
my needs and my name
are really one and the same
Olive Eo Munny
Written by
Linda Alice Fowler
Categories:
endurance, fun, history, humor, mythology, snow
Skadi
There once was a Norse goddess named Skadi
A Winter Ruler in huntress’ body
An expert at skiing
Her enemies fleeing
Ester Ledecka she did embody
Written by
Linda Alice Fowler
Categories:
addiction, humor, mythology,
Panther
Have you heard the Panther’s roar?
A sickly sweet odor.
He traps his prey in his paws,
devours them with beastly jaws.
Have you heard the Panther’s roar?
Three torpid days, he’ll snore.
Appetite he can’t sate.
Constant hunger is his fate.
Have you heard the Panther’s roar?
He requires so much more.
Dragon eludes him despite his feat.
He’ll never taste the other white meat.
Written by
M. L. Kiser
Categories:
animal, cute, fun, funny, myth, mythology
Dragon Needs a C-Pap
Dragon
Snoring loud
Shook loose our walls
Rebuilding was costly
C-Pap!
Written by
Jaymee Thomas
Categories:
appreciation, humor, image, spring,
La Primavera: a Footle On Love, Mythology, and Art
Footles, as one, regarding Spring by Sandro Botticelli
Sandro
Does Know:
Venus-
Genus
Darkened,
Starkened
West wind
Chlore sinned;
Shrewd glance,
Now dance
Bough, her
Flower;
Three Grace
At base
Bypass
Time sass,
Laurels
Morals
Orange grove,
Bee soave;
Broody-
Nudie
Looks left,
Bereft,
Cupid,
Stupid
As love
Above
High arts,
Babe farts
Passion's
Rations.
March 18, 2023
A Brian Strand Premiere No 1200 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Brian Strand
Written by
M. L. Kiser
Categories:
animal, dog, fantasy, funny, myth, mythology
Dragons Pets
Yet another dragon, we had to get
And he just had to have a pet.
For whatever reason, he chose a frog;
So we took him to a bog.
He cared for that frog,
as if it were A beloved dog.
My Great Aunt Mae, visited and
for 12 days, she stayed.
She volunteered, to dinner cook,
But, dragon’s frog, she mistook;
She served his legs with some she’d bought;
Leaving dragon quite distraught.
Apologizing, she said she’d pay; so, we adopted him
a dog that day; dragon was quickly appeased.
Written by
Darlene Smith
Categories:
anxiety, grandmother, humor, mythology, native american, nature
Granny's Tonic
Oh the daily news got to her
But; she couldn't turn away
It was like watching a train wreck
Though it made her nerves so frayed
Each night she turned the tv on
And her head began to pound
Politics, crime, and taxes
Made her feel like coming unwound
Anxiety kept her up at night
This old world is such a mess
She decided that she must do something
To cure herself of stress
A cup of tea is what she needed
So she headed to Cumberland Gap
In search of the wild blue flower
The Cherokee Skullcap
Now she still watches the news each day
And laughs a bit at the moronic
For it no longer drives her mad
Thanks to her Appalachian tonic
Written by
David Hyatt-Bickle
Categories:
god, humor, humorous, mythology, pride, vanity
The Abyss King
The proud ruler known vainly as Saklas
In the abyss proudly proclaimed with brass:
“I am god, no other but me!”
Then a voice above said in glee:
“You are completely wrong Saklas, you ***.”
Date: 09/06/2022
I counted the syllables myself
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
fantasy, humor, music, myth, mythology, parody
Sarah Neighed For Charlie Daniels
(Quick off the top of my haid)
Da dibble go down to Georgia
A town in Texas, who knew
He went on de run
He took his six gun
Lookin' for to doo wacka doo.
He comed across a young sure-shot
Targetin' a hickory stump
Dibble feelin' sly
Slithered up to this guy
And patted him upon the rump.
"What you doin' mistuh?
You hyeh lookin' to die?
We'll duel then you'll
End up a dead fool
For layin' yo' hand on my thigh."
Dey faced off and Johnny drew
But de dibble had drawn his too
They pissed in the wind
They humped and they sinned
And de dibble got his koo koo ka joo.
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
animal, cute, fantasy, funny, god, mythology
One of Us Mice
[for Joan Osborne]
What if god was a little mouse
Just a mouse in a little house
Just a stranger and a louse
Tryin' to get the cheese.
Written by
Dennis Spilchuk
Categories:
food, history, humor, mythology,
Mediterranean Salad
Mediterranean Salad
As I gaze upon the picture hanging on the wall,
of the Parthenon on Mount Olympus of long ago,
where history was made and mythology took roots
(and phalanx of hoplites conquered the known world)
while the gods ruled from the mountain top;
and bellowed obscenities from their mouths
and threw down lightning bolts upon the shepherds
and their flocks, non-stop, and I thought;
it must have been a relief to feel the breeze off the sea,
and to sit down and eat in peace,
a Mediterranean Salad with succulent sardines.