Humorous and funny Neighbor poems and/or funny poems about Neighbor. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Neighbor funny poems!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
clothes, humorous, , cute,
Who Is Your Neighbor- For Contest
I espied him in his designer suit
Such a looker, he’s REALLY cute
This morning he waved and shot me a grin
Oh how I would love a date with him
Think I’ve managed to catch his eye
Got my heart set on a handsome guy
I knocked on his door …he was wearing a dress
I just stood there gawking I must confess!
Just who is my neighbour - I’m not so sure
But any dream of romance was premature!
Contest Who is my Neighbour
Sponsor Mystic Rose
09~03~15
Written by
Ilene Bauer
Categories:
humor, new york,
My New Neighbor
Paul McCartney bought a home
Just blocks away from mine.
Of course, he faces Central Park
With views, I’m sure, divine.
My whole apartment likely
In his living room would fit.
I’ll let you know as soon as I
Have been inside of it.
For now that we’ll be neighbors,
I’m convinced – don’t you agree?
That I’ll receive an invitation
For a spot of tea.
I’ll tell him of the fan mail
That I sent him long ago.
I never got his answer
But the mail is so darn slow!
We’ll catch up on how life has been –
I want to know it all;
I’m sure we’ll have a lovely time
When I hear from Sir Paul.
Written by
Pat Adams
Categories:
humor, life, love,
Love Your Neighbor
Love your neighbor is what they say
I've been hearing it quite a lot
That could be an idea that's good
Just be sure that you don't get caught!
Written by
David Drowley
Categories:
food, giving, humor, life, love, music,
Good Neighbor
As we sat for a quick evening snack
A knock on our door came with a smack.
A thoughtful lady whom we adore,
Our sweet grey-haired neighbor from next door,
Brought dinner, dessert, and candlelight,
With a string quartet for our delight.
Living as a pair in a hurry
We forgot our anniversary!
Written by
Randy Johnson
Categories:
funny, humor,
Disgusting Neighbor
I'm being driven crazy because of my disgusting neighbor.
I wish that I was Luke Skywalker because I could kill him with my lightsaber.
He steals my newspapers and eggs my house.
He's a lowlife punk, a moron and also a louse.
When I order a pizza, he always intercepts it.
He opens the pizza boxes and then he spits.
Now my rotten neighbor is shouting obscenities at me and he's on my lawn.
I just shot him in the crotch with my shotgun and now his privates are gone.
Now my disgusting neighbor is more of a woman than a man.
When he saw me with my shotgun, the lowlife should've ran.
(This is a fictional poem.)
Written by
James Horn
Categories:
humor, humorous,
My Next Door Neighbor Flower Enthusiast
Sometimes my heart may seem to soften
And I am glad Jill is not away too often
Also sure like Gene my new neighbor
A peaceful sort never rattling a sabre.
Not sophisticated or prefers to go strutting
And never heard of him ever head-butting
A perfect pleasure having him next door
Brought me ice cream from a local store.
One more notch on belt started to buckle
When he said I sure like your honeysuckle
And before my door I had started shutting
He asked me if he could have a cutting.
James Thomas Horn
Retired Veteran
PS. Humor category of course.
Written by
Andrew Foreman
Categories:
humor,
A Neighbor Named Jody
I once had a neighbor named Jody,
Who liked to drink wine spo-dee-o-dee,
Other spirits she'd tipple,
Hell, she'd even drink Ripple,
But only chased with diet sodee.
Written by
John Bertin
Categories:
humor, humorous,
Your Next Door Neighbor
(using) profanity
(listening) heavy metal
(voting) Donald Trump
(abstaining) bathing
(acting) boorish
(joining) hate group
(ignoring) other people
(studying) conspiracy theory
(smoking) cigarettes
(feeling) homicidal
(shooting) ducks
(denying) the holocaust
(making) loud noises
(parking) in your spot
(spitting) tobacco
(abusing) cats
(ranting) like Hitler
(drinking) cheap wine
(thinking) delusional
(hating) women
(stealing) anything
(injecting) illegal drugs
(wearing) lingerie
(smelling) offensive
(talking) about you
Written by
Jeanie Bennett
Categories:
humor,
Neighbor With a Gun
I had a neighbor who had some
mental instability concerns
Whether he was a threat to us
we were unable to discern
He would have a fire burning
in the middle of the night
and shoot off his gun night or day
and much to our and our
neighbors dismay
Someone called the police
just to have it on record
not knowing his potential to
hassle and heckle
One day I heard several shots
pop--pop--pop--pop
I told my husband and he
said " call the cops,
he's at it again !! "
As I was ready to dial 911
I remembered I had popcorn
in the microwave oven !!
( True story )
Written by
L Milton Hankins
Categories:
humor, natural disasters,
How To Offend a Neighbor
A young man in a brand-new red Ford pickup
Is said to have had very, very bad luck
Driving it rather hard,
Through a neighbor’s front yard,
The yard turned into a sodden muddy muck.
written January 21, 2022
Written by
Jaime Ferreyros
Categories:
funny, people, places,
Andy Warhol Was My Neighbor
9 East 32nd Street
Between 5th and 6th Avenue
In New York City.
My apartment was 3C
On the same block,
Andy ran his “Factory”.
Saw him frequently
Looking his visual self,
Me an SVA art student
Living with my cat
And no one else.
We crossed each other one afternoon,
Andy gave me a free copy
Of his magazine “Interview”.
23 years later I’m thinking
Instead of taking it
And going my way,
If I had asked Andy his autograph
God knows the value
That copy would have today.
Written by
Cortney Bartholomew
Categories:
humorous, pain,
Nosy Neighbor
She runs down the street in her bathrobe and curlers,
With the big flower prints peering in the neighbors windows,
She has nothing else better to do than to get in others business,
Acting like she owns the block, the other neighbors can't stand this,
If a dog barks she's calling the cops,
She's also knocking on your door reminding you to mow your lawn,
I thank her, smile politely, and slam the door,
I hope she got the hint this time, Lord.
Written by
Randy Johnson
Categories:
funny, humor, humorous,
My Neighbor Gave Me a Broken Jaw
My neighbor accused me when his truck was stolen.
He broke my jaw two months ago and it's still swollen.
I lost fifty pounds because my mouth had to be wired shut.
Even though I'm innocent, my neighbor still kicked my butt.
He bounced me around like a basketball.
I was no match for him because he's over seven feet tall.
The cops found the real crook and my neighbor knew I wasn't at fault.
He begged me for forgiveness but I still had that ox arrested for assault.
When he went to jail, his boss fired him and his wife left, it's sad but true.
When he is released, he will come looking for me and it will be round two.
Written by
Elton Camp
Categories:
humor,
The Inconsiderate Neighbor
The Inconsiderate Neighbor
By Elton Camp
It was two a.m. when I heard a knock
A visitor that early was surely a shock
To visit that early is extremely rude
Who could possibly be that crude!
I felt a considerable surge of alarm
Was it someone intending me harm?
Through the peephole I took a look
It was my neighbor, not some crook
But I won’t have anything mean to say
I was up playing my bagpipes anyway
Written by
Sotto Poet
Categories:
analogy, humor,
The New Neighbor
We fascinated the neighborhood.
finding things to meet us, the new neighbors.
Could I perhaps borrow a cup of sugar?
We apologize for the lack of cups.
Laughing, I am using my own cups.
But none of us consume sugar.
Are you diabetic, by any chance?
We are... diabolical, to be sure.
Written: November 19, 2022
Written by
Marinus Jansen
Categories:
12th grade, bible, funny, humorous, love, satire, silly,
Mister Tabor, you're not my neighbor
When I reminded her that the Bible does tell
to love not only yourself, but your neighbor as well,
she said, "But Mister Tabor,
you're not my neighbor,
so, could you just kindly go to hell?"
Written by
Caren Krutsinger
Categories:
humor, humorous,
Hi New Neighbor
You are invited to join my muse and I
We will be spying on the neighbors
As they step on fireflies and do quirky stuff.
If they elect to do any creepy eating of frogs
or junk like that we will collaborate on poems
outing their antics. Refreshments will be served
if you bring them and I hope you do. You are being
invited only if you bring your homemade peanut butter
fudge. If you don’t have any, please disregard.