Humorous and funny New York poems and/or funny poems about New York. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious New York funny poems!
Written by
John Heck
Categories:
funny
Pathmark Perversity - New York
Cucumbers, celery and stem-vine tomatoes
were hobnobbing with my Russett potatoes.
Pears and plums and one Georgian peach
winked at the Wisk and Snuggled the bleach.
Pretzels and popcorn and the Tostitos chips
ogled in awe as Meyer's bacon strips stripped!
Mr. Clean and Mrs. Dash espied a risqued art -
when double-clipped coupons tainted the cart!
Written by
Charleen Martinez
Categories:
funny, boy,
The Boy From New York
There once was a boy from New York
Who refused to taste any pork
Until one bright day
A damsel did say
“let me feed you, my love, from this fork”
Written by
Ilene Bauer
Categories:
humor, new york,
My New Neighbor
Paul McCartney bought a home
Just blocks away from mine.
Of course, he faces Central Park
With views, I’m sure, divine.
My whole apartment likely
In his living room would fit.
I’ll let you know as soon as I
Have been inside of it.
For now that we’ll be neighbors,
I’m convinced – don’t you agree?
That I’ll receive an invitation
For a spot of tea.
I’ll tell him of the fan mail
That I sent him long ago.
I never got his answer
But the mail is so darn slow!
We’ll catch up on how life has been –
I want to know it all;
I’m sure we’ll have a lovely time
When I hear from Sir Paul.
Written by
Dorian Petersen Potter
Categories:
funny, hilarious, humor, humorous,
A Two-Timer From New York Town
A two-timer cheater from New York town
Who just enjoys so much to go down
Stocks tires and his likes
He owns cars and a pink bike
And he uses them when does it all down!
Dorian Petersen Potter
Aka ladydp2000
Copyright@2014
September, 8, 2014
Written by
Muhammad Safa Thajudeen
Categories:
color, humor,
New York Eggs
Yellow and white,
New yolk eggs,
New York become fat!
Written by
Robert Pettit
Categories:
funny
A Dork From New York
There once was a fellow from New York
This dummy was an absolute dork
He bet on the Jets
A move he regrets
He thought babies were brought by the stork
Written by
Iris E. Sankey- Lewis
Categories:
humor,
Four-Three-Two Park In New York
Four-Three-Two Park in New York
Haunts the masses night and day
Each cardinal view shows phallus palace
Belonging to those ultra famous?
Such joy-stick of the rich
Belongs to a one-legged giant
You'll see Gulliver's thumb up
Some say it's freedom from poor people tower
Four-Three-Two Park in New York
could be mid-finger of a financial foe
A sore pinkie
It's match stick of the ten percent
A giant chop stick
A may pole sans ribbons
It is the pencil tower
Four-Three-Two Park in New York
Is a tooth pick award
and that too, is final.
*
Written by
Mark Toney
Categories:
film, humorous, inspirational, new york, religious, youth
Oscar-Ku 17 -Going My Way
young progressive priest
financially failing Church. . .
swinging on a star
Copyright © 2018 by Mark Toney. All rights reserved.
First published 2018 in Hollywood Haiku via wattpad.com
Written by
L Milton Hankins
Categories:
humor,
New York Barbecue
Once there was a right dandy dude from New York
He dined each day on the finest loin of pork
Never met a pig he did not admire,
Roasting on a flaming barby fire
Made even tastier by the pop of the cork.
May 23, 2021
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
humor, new york,
Big Apple Eye Scream
Central Park's cool event in May
Brings the gigolos out to play
Ilene says, "Its true!
They're all over you!"
Its Banana Split & Run Day
Written by
Ilene Bauer
Categories:
funny, introspection, new york,
Plumage
Peacocks always strut about
In all their cobalt splendor;
While peahens, on the other hand,
Get ripped off for their gender.
Many birds do follow suit –
The males get all the frills;
While females’ feathers, drab and brown,
Don’t offer many thrills.
As humans go, the opposite
Is usually the case;
For sparkling jewels and colors bright
The female does embrace.
Except in New York City, where
We’ve set the species back,
Since most stylish New York women
Like to keep their plumage black!
Ilene Bauer
Written by
Panagiota Romios
Categories:
america, humorous, political,
Hot Dogs a New York Tale
Hot Dogs A New York Tale
There once lived a Mayor named Di Blasio,
Who had steamy, hot desires for Ocasio!
In an effort to woo her and all health crackpots, too,
He pulled out his very lengthy political lance.
"Ah, Divine Maiden, I want you all for my own.
For only this for you will I do,
I am deporting all unhealthy, evil hot dogs to
France."
Maiden Ocasio in gratitude fell to her feet.
So Nathan's went out of business!
Oh how greatly, the New Yorkers wept!
Said she: "The world will indeed be Green!
You and I will be King and Queen..
No cows, no cars, no steel buildings
Divinely, so peachy-clean!"
Panagiota Romios
4/25/2019
11:58pm PST
Re-edited at 4:25pm PST
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
city, food, humorous, universe,
The Universe, Narrowed Down To New York
He was a bit overawed
his topic, too broad
A speech on 'The Universe'
ought not to be terse
So he narrowed it down
to his beloved hometown
He focused on New York --
Jews and Muslims who eat pork
He cited some verses
from the Bible and Koran
Then he threw up his hands
Said, "I've done the best I can."
The judges cried, "Bravo!"
You're a brilliant young man
We award you first prize:
An autographed copy of
~ 'Green Eggs and Ham'
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
humor, new york,
Big Apple Eve
I pictured her milking an udder
And it made my whole body shudder
Then mum piped up,
"Forget her, pup!
She's bound to be some buddy's mudder!"
Written by
Michael Degenhardt
Categories:
funny
Clintons In New York (A Halloween Tale)
As darkness descends quietly, upon the little town
The children, eager with their bags, are walking so carefree
They know no fear but taught to them, by their parents’ words
So quickly, they all seek their prize and take, this Halloween
While coming with the darkness, upon this hallows eve
An evil force awakened by the many who pretend
With masks upon their faces, hoping to cause fear
The darkness hides the truth, that’s bringing the towns end
The scary dying breath that now falls upon this town
Is a residential force that has sought its permanence
May the many who depict it by scoffing with its mask
Soon realize they’re the reason that it never up and went
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
humorous, new york, nostalgia, song,
'car 54,' Pandemic-Updated
Hum or Sing this to the
tune of the theme song
of 'Car 54, Where are You?'
*******
There's no gold up in the Bronx
Brooklyn's cops are all uptight
There's looting up in Harlem
That's lasted five long nights
Manhattan is a ghost town
There's nobody around
Mayor de Blasio,
Where are you?
********
The hit TV Show, 'Car 54,
Where are You,' ran from
Sept., 1961 to April, '63.
You can google the theme
song, and even watch a
clip or two from a show.
Pretty silly stuff about
a pair of hapless cops.
Written by
Anais Vionet
Categories:
friendship, humor, new york, teen, truth, write
See Short Stories - Merritt and the Power of Charm
My latest piece is -1600 characters too long for the poetry section (sigh)
So it's under short stories. The URL is:
www.poetrysoup.com/short_stories/merritt_and_the_power_of_charm_10833
I hope you like it.
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
humor, new york,
Roundabout
New York Christians, Muslims, and Jews
Claim they walked a mile in God's shoes
As you may surmise
When asked for the size
They say they went barefoot like youse!
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
cheer up, fish, fun, giggle, new year, new york
happy new year
thinking ocean life silly
dolphin edna mae tilly
ashore amidst cheers
a squeak for new years
then boards a bus for philly.
Written by
David Crandall
Categories:
animal, car, humor, new york,
My New York Giraffe
A giraffe went out to buy a car.
He didn't like nothin' that he saw'r.
Maybe, he'd be more comfortable
driving a convertible.
Written by
Anais Vionet
Categories:
humor, new york, school, student, teen, thanksgiving
I Posted a New Short Story Called: Stupid
My latest piece is 388 characters too long for the poetry section.
So, I posted it in "Short Stories" (Other sites don't have this limit)
Here's the link...
www.poetrysoup.com/short_stories/stupid_10822
If you bother, I hope you like it
Written by
Caren Krutsinger
Categories:
humor,
chutzpah in New York
chutzpah in new york
cheeky annoying brashness
nervy confidence
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
destiny, humor, new york, political, success,
A Random Thought on Mamdani
Do I really want to see Mamdani fail
Well, I wanted Biden to succeed
And so far HE’s avoided jail…
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
humor, new york, political, satire, word play,
Cutting-Edge NYC Electoral 'Your-In-Alysis'
I find him so smiley, so holly-jolly
I think I’ll vote for Zohran Mamdani
A NYC politician from Somali
like AOC ~ a red-hot tamale
Written by
Martin Howard Samuel
Categories:
humor, london, money, new york, paris, silly
Taking Stock
Been to the London Stock Exchange
opened in 1571 by Elizabeth the Queen
and what's more saw the New York Big Board
the world's largest stock market ever seen
but when I took a trip to Paris
had no clue as to what to do
altho' I was educated in French
(parlez-vous?)
I believe brokers did so to discommode
as when yelling buying or selling
they communicated in Bourse code