Funny Poems About Nobody or Nobody Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Nobody poems and/or funny poems about Nobody. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Nobody funny poems!

Written by Caren Krutsinger
Categories: 2nd grade, 3rd grade, 4th grade, 5th grade, christian, humorous

Nobody Knows the Rubble I Have Seen

No one knows the rubble I’ve seen.
Nobody knows but DEEEshus.
I stop washing dishes and turn around.
My four-year-old is belting this out with gusto.

These dishes?
She nods.
Where did you learn it?
In church.

Okay.

Written by Andrew Fairchild
Categories: appreciation, humor, hyperbole, poetry, writing,

Sonnet 44 'Nobody Wants a Well, When There Is Sadness'

Nobody wants a well, when there is sadness...
A few drops are enough, to bring on rain!
The world is full, of sorrow, and of madness!
Nobody needs the bottom of the drain...
The purists count emPHASis and sylLABles!
They like to see beans laid out, in a row!
They have no patience with an one, who babbles!
Believe the Sun should not put on a show!
But... we need purists, for they keep us clean!
Demand a higher standard of the lazy!
They state:  'it's not enough to be serene!'
(And unneeded enjambment
Drives 'em crazy!)
But we can only meet their standards, if
The while we write, we're clinging to a cliff!


Written by Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories: cry, funny, hate, heartbroken, humor, judgement

Nobody Likes My Poems, a Song

Nobody likes my poems
I do not know why
Think I'll grab a knife to stab
Myself in the eye.

Nobody likes my poems
I only sniff and pout
Think I'll soon pick up a spoon
And gouge my eyeballs out.

Written by Kristie Wozab
Categories: funny, people, uplifting,

No One and Nobody

If no one has a doubt,
nobody has to prove it.

If no one finds it,
nobody will lose it.

If no one knows where you are,
nobody comes around.

If no one shows up,
nobody is let down .

If no one makes you feel bad,
Nobody makes you feel better.

If no one knows the address,
nobody sends a letter.

If no one knows the way,
nobody can go.

If no one finds out,
nobody will know.

If no one is there to receive,
Nobody will send .

If no one will start,
nobody can end.

Written by Tom Bell
Categories: angst, confusion, funny, mystery, nature,

Nobody Told Me!!

Yep.....No one dun told me...
About that puddle out front....
No body bothered to warn me..
The truth I'd have to hunt...
I stepped in the middle,
Expecting, of water, just a little....
Of concern, a mere piddle....
Suddenly hit by this natural riddle....
HOW COULD THAT PUDDLE,
BE 16 FEET DEEP?
I'll pass my life being befuddled...
Even when I sleep!


Written by Elton Camp
Categories: funny, car,

If You Think Nobody Knows You'Re Alive

If You Think Nobody Knows You’re Alive

By Elton Camp

Have you suspected that it might be so 
If you should die, nobody would know

All would go on exactly as before
Though you’re not around any more

But thinking like that is quite incorrect
Some few watch us closely, by heck

As a means to prove that this is true
Here’s a little experiment you can do

Just two car payments don’t send in 
Then see that you’re missed, my friend

You’ll hear a loud knock at your door
To determine if you’re around anymore

Closely watch the one who did arrive
As away with your car they’ll drive

Written by Randy Johnson
Categories: funny, humor, political,

Nobody Will Pay the Kidnapper

A man has kidnapped two people and is demanding 50 million for their safe return.
But people have discovered who the two hostages are and they are not concerned.
Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are the two people who have been kidnapped.
People won't give a plug nickel for the safe return of those two pieces of crap.
Clinton and Trump won't be coming home any time soon, they are trapped.
If somebody does pay the ransom, he or she will certainly deserve to be slapped.

Written by Alex Klugman
Categories: friendship love, funny love,

I Kiss You, Where Nobody Yet Kissed You

"I kiss you, where nobody yet kissed you",
The groom to his bride the desire reveals.
She asked with surprise-" Is it true, you will do?
Excited, I never was kissed in the heels!"

Written by Gershon Wolf
Categories: baseball, chicago, humor, money,

Nobody Knows Who Your Players Are

Halfway through summer
  You delivered a bummer
Sold off all your big stars
  Nobody knows 
    who your new players are

Last night's game?
  You lost Ten-to-Nothing
Today you scored more
  Something like 17 to 4 

Poor fans have nothing to cheer
  We just cry in our beer
But, I'll come watch anyway
  'Course, my ticket YOU'LL pay 
     ~ I wasn't born yesterday!




_________________________________
For more information on my birthday,
Multiply 24 beers by 3, then ask a gypsy!

   
  



    ~ I ain't no dummy!

Written by John Lawless
Categories: humor, irony, life,

Nobody Asked - But

Nobody asked….

But

…why are there instructions in Braille at the drive thru window

…I think they should change the YIELD sign to….. NOW PLAY NICE

…I have an agreement with the fish – I pick up floating debris….they hit my lures.

…the line I get into always slows down

…couldn’t they solve the toilet paper shortage by making it longer?

…my treadmill has an attitude – it is powered by me and the computer keeps flashing
    “YOU’RE KILLING ME”

…my first argument with a teacher was about POETRY

…my last argument with a teacher was with my 7 year old granddaughter

…my remote control only works on the TV – but I keep tryin’


John G. Lawless
©11/29/2021

Written by David Crandall
Categories: allegory, animal, humor,

Nobody, Not Even Aesop is Perfect

I recall the wise words by Aesop, spoken,
and wonder, " Is our collective conscious broken?"
A hare can assuredly outpace
a tortoise in any fair race.
To say otherwise, I suggest, is inane.
I conclude, therefore, Aesop was insane.