Humorous and funny Nose poems and/or funny poems about Nose. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Nose funny poems!
Written by
Wilma Neels
Categories:
funny, imaginationhair,
-nose Hair Madness-
I think I saw one
I move a little closer
there’s another one
nose hair can be disgusting
Nikko should I pull them out?
*Nikko's body part
of choice nose hair lol*
Written by
Kash Poet
Categories:
funny,
Santa With Running Nose
Santa's red cap is turning blue
his nose running with Christmas flu
and the Doctor's advice
was "it will be nice,
wrap the gifts with natural glue."
Written by
Elizabeth Wesley
Categories:
funny, dark, dark, time,
His Nose
The nose he wears sits on his head
It's big and round and very red;
And in the dark it always glows
It must be awful to own that nose.
There's two dark holes filled with hair
With whatever else that's hidden there;
Each time I see with great surprise
That glow that sits between his eyes.
It shines as though when night meets day
There never could be another way;
I wonder too if he can tell
If red affects his sense of smell.
Perhaps the problem is I think
He's had in time too much to drink;
I suggested then to paint it white
And he seemed to think this was alright.
For Frank Herrera's Zaniest Poetry Contest
Elizabeth Wesley
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
body, humorous,
She Nose How To Pick Em - Warning
Sue found an impossible task,
To ‘excavate’ wearing her mask,
Now Sue cannot linger,
With her little finger,
To abstain has been a big ask
Since childhood Sue’s ‘explored ‘her nose,
Her secret’s one nobody knows,
Sue’s now stopped the picking,
The licking and flicking,
It’s down to covid I suppose.
10/31/21
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
body, humorous,
He Nose How To Pick Em
A Chinese professor from Bowes
used chopsticks when picking his nose
He’s down on his luck
one chopstick got stuck -
he’s skipping his lunch I suppose!
N/A in a A Succinct Treat Contest Judged on 12/20/18
10/30/18
Written by
Anne-Lise Andresen
Categories:
animal, happy, humor, snow,
- The Best Nose -
Today's highlight
on the dog's terms
The snow that has come,
is soft and fluffy
Explore,
sniff fresh adventures
Roll around,
admire the world upside down,
eat some snow,
smell a trail,
listen and bark
do decisions
All dogs have intrinsic value
and are allowed to be dogs
Although the snow turns yellow
when they are peeing
Written by
Mc Mc
Categories:
funny
Limerick: There Once Was a Man Who Had a Big Nose
There once was a man who had a big nose,
wherever he goes, the nose- he blows,
drank some whiskey in a shot,
blew some snot onto a tiny tot,
and apologized with poetry instead of prose!
Copyright McCuen 2009
Written by
David Fisher
Categories:
hair, humorous,
Hair Nose Perm
There once was a man from somewhere
Who had trouble with his nose hair
So he gave them a perm
With a wiggle and squirm
And won second prize at the fair
Written by
Mc Mc
Categories:
funny
Limerick:There Once a Man Who Had a Big Nose
There once a man who had a big nose,
wherever he goes, the nose- he blows;
drank some whiskey in a glass shot,
then dripped some snot onto a tiny tot,
and apologized with poetry instead of prose!
Copyright McCuen 2009
Written by
Dino Spahillari
Categories:
funny,
Mr Nose Picker
Today
I salute You
mr Nose picker
i know
you are a respectful man
in your corporate
big
with a little question mark
after it
you pick your nose
everywhere
in the highway
behind the wheel
behind the desk
in your office
in the hallway
thinking you are alone
trust me
i always see you
picking your nose
which is already red
and no wonder big
like a huge awning
on a brick building
please stop it
go wash your hands
or use a clean napkin
because tonight i salute you
for your innocent courage
of nose picking
thanks very much
thanks
for nothing...
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
funny,
A Bulbous Nose
Accused of much silliness, it's who I am
Can't change I'm afraid, just a silly old man
Life's a big hoot
In my colourful suit
A clown like attire with a nose so grand
Written by
John Lawless
Categories:
baby, father, humorous,
Nose Woes
NOSE WOES - limerick
My nose told me it couldn’t get riper
as I opened and peeked in the diaper
one last gasping breath
succumbing to death
single shot from intestinal sniper
John G. Lawless
5/30/2015
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
10th grade, body, humorous, irony,
He Nose How To Pick Em - Gross Humour Warning
Mam told me I must eat my greens
I’m certain I know what she means
I pick lots of snot,
And then eat the lot
It’s tasty and full of proteins!
Mam’s livid and screams ACT YOUR YEARS
Aged fifty, I burst into tears
She whacks me round the head
Then she sends me to bed
And now I’ve got cauliflower ears!
For a lovely on line friend who gave me the first line and challenged me to write a poem ... it caused many snickers when he got the final poem
12/23/21
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
body, how i feel, humorous,
Teenage Nose Job
Nose job
nasal piercing; yeuk!
more suitable for cattle
what a silly moo!
Written after I saw a teenager with a large metal ring through her septum. I can understand ear piercing but the thought of a stud or ring in my nose ... yeuk, but each to their own
3/7/18
Written by
Volodymyr Knyr
Categories:
dog, feelings, health, humorous, sick,
A Good Nose
A dog's, if not a doc's, good nose
is good enough to diagnose.
Volodymyr Knyr
2014
Written by
Tom Bell
Categories:
adventure, angst, funny, health, sea,
Baubles, Bangles, and Nose Bleeds
You Quiz-puzzlers out there,
I hope you take care,
And don't sucumb to high blood pressure,
Please don't implode like the good sub, U.S.S. Thresher,
So take it in stride,
With the answers I do hide,
And you'll wake up all that much fresher
Written by
Wilma Neels
Categories:
funny
-nose Madness-
saw him ogle me
intently half bewildered
no cleavage in sight
his focal point was higher
spellbound by my freckled nose
*inspired by
Missy Nikko's
fetish with body parts :)*
12/04/2011
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
humorous,
Two Nose Holes
Often wondered why we have two nose holes
When one would obviously do
And why does our hair keep growing and growing
Could save thousands if it never grew
Some other things I've been pondering lately
The number of our fingers and toes
Most of us counted five on each hand and foot
Before what our computers disclosed
Okay, one last thing, if we didn't have two legs
We fall on our bums all day long
We'd have to hop along like Hopalong Cassidy
Singing Hopalong Cassidy songs
Often wondered why we have two nose holes
When one would obviously do
Of course whenever we catch a very bad cold
We'd drip all the way to Timbuktu
© Jack Ellison 2015
Written by
Russell Sivey
Categories:
funny, hilarious, humorous,
Finger In Her Nose
She sat with a finger in her nose
It did smell quite a lot like my prose
She got a few
Before she withdrew
Boogers came out striking a pose
Russell Sivey
Written by
Robert Pettit
Categories:
funny, life, parody,
Nose Hair Remover
This thing cuts the hair that’s inside my nose
On a triple-A battery it goes
Just one thing I ask of thee:
You must use it carefully
I took it a bit too far, and it shows!
For Carolyn Devonshire's contest
Written by
John-Ovan.P. Hull
Categories:
funny,
Dog Nose Best
Do you know a dogs nose best
True you knew God knows best
What a frog shows best
But a log burns best
Day is done gone to rest
Setting sun upon the west.
©John-Ovan.P.Hull
Written by
Judy Valko
Categories:
grandparents, humor, kid,
Grandpa's Nose
Grandpa’s Nose
Grandpa’s nose is rather big
it’s shaped just like a horn
It doesn’t bother Grandpa,
he says that’s how he was born
I’m glad it’s not a ‘pick’ a lo
or a snooty flute
but when people hear him ‘toot’ his nose
they stand up and salute
Written by
Linda Alice Fowler
Categories:
fun, funny, humor, humorous, nonsense, silly,
Nose Pick
My grandpa played in a rock band
playing guitar he gave a hand
he lost his pick
had to think quick
used his nose and made a grandstand
Written by
Randy Johnson
Categories:
funny, cousin,
Big Nose
My cousin sure does have a big nose.
10 pounds of boogers come out when he blows.
Restaurant owners have to protect theirselves by installing huge sneeze guards.
Once he got some boogers on me and I hit that moron hard.
He soon learned that when I slug somebody, it really stings.
His nostrils are so big that you can put bowling balls in those things.
If he wants to stay with you for a day or two, you'd better not let him stay.
And if you see my cousin about to sneeze, you'd better get out of the way.
(THIS IS A FICTIONAL POEM.)
Written by
Randy Johnson
Categories:
funny, humor, humorous,
This Tick On My Nose
I have a tick on my nose.
As it sucks blood, it grows.
When my ex-girlfriend saw it, it was too much for her.
She screamed at the top of her lungs and ran away in horror.
I can't get a date because of this tick that's the size of a nickel.
I am so lonely for female companionship, I sure am in a pickle.
I've tried to get this tick off but so far I haven't had any luck.
People are avoiding me like a plague, this really does suck.
I broke my nose when I tried to smash it with a brick.
My social life has gone straight to hell because of this tick!
(This is a fictional poem.)