Humorous and funny Pain poems and/or funny poems about Pain. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Pain funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Pain Poems.
funny, humor, irony, pain, slam,
For "Show Me the Funny (part two)"
There once was a fellow a woggin'*
Who bumped into one who was loggin'
They had quite a spat
The ax was a bat
And the first had a lump on his noggin
* Woggers are those who get all dressed for jogging, but only go at walking speed, while vigorously pumping their arms to delude themselves that they are jogging.
Oh buzz off you crazy crazy hornet
Trying to land here upon my buttock,
Here I am eating my crispy cornet
Lazing naked in my garden hammock.
Tried to coax it with my berry ice cream
But alas it seems unprepared or blind,
Dancing upon an invisible beam
Homing in on me with a one track mind.
Could it be I’ve enhanced the essence air
With a gross wind to further relieve me,
Or is this a mock symphony of flair
Of a Britain’s got talent “Bumble Bee?”
His “The classical flight” winning first prize
In pain my swelling one hell of a size!
© Harry J Horsman 2015
body, food, humorous,
I visited Doctor Longdong
Told doc something’s terribly wrong
The pain in my hip
Is giving me gyp
He said it was caused by my thong!
I admit I’ve put on some weight
Can’t resist cream cakes on my plate
My ‘EX’ boyfriend was rude …
So I’m in a bad mood
Oh stuff it ….the diet can wait!
allusion, care, funny, humor, imagery, pain, wife,
When someone says break
A leg is never offered
As the sacrifice
bird, heart, humor, irony, love, myth, pain,
The Gift of Eros
Aloft flies Eros; mischief fluttered wings
With silent rustle whisper overhead
By arrows pierced; the hearts of knaves and kings
The chilly grave, the restless lover’s bed
Blue London air, red Piccadilly light
Above the shifting crowd and constant noise
In summer heat, in neon and the night
He aims his slender bow with perfect poise
Aloft flies Eros; underneath his feet
As shadows of the Circus slowly shift
I contemplate my own love, bitter, sweet
The wound that Eros wrought in me, the gift
And as I turn my tears up to the sky
A pigeon drops an arrow in my eye
Anindya Mohan Tagore
"Smoking is bad,
Out of fad", says
my lad of eight
Don't smoke again
It does slain you
Gives pain to us
I do not bluff
a puff to think
fantasy, humorous, pain,
I was swinging from my glass chandelier
Lost my grip and landed smack on my rear
Banged my head and blood poured out of my ear
I screamed expletives nobody should hear!
The ache in my bum was very severe
Sobbing with pain I shed a salty tear
An ambulance was called, it was soon here
The driver said 'oh not you again dear ..
you need to stay sober and keep off beer…
It’s the second time you’ve done this this year'!
Checked with how many syllables
Contest Monorhyme Mania
Sponsored by John Hamilton
funny, humorous, pain,
*spot poetry: Written in 15 minutes or less about any random subject.
Beneath the tweed
lay the nasty pin
It pierced my toe without a need
My foot had lost again
Of all the places I should step
I landed on this pain
"Walkin' on pins and needles"
just doesn't mean the same
I merely stepped up to the lamp
To read the daily news
When all at once
The pin, it stuck
Submerged up through my shoe
And yelling out obscenities
I screamed these words in pain
"Either I get shoes with thicker soles
or ne'er read news again"
Paula Rowlands PivotalPoetry
body, how i feel, humor, humorous, pain,
My feet are always aching, like I've been on them all day
my muscles keep on twitching, my back keeps giving way
the migraines keep me tired and the Fibro too
I'm seriously lacking energy, but I've got so much to do.
The list keeps getting longer, I've lost my train of thought
now a daily struggle, I wish my pain was naught
I'm really good at hiding, exactly how I feel
though my tank is nearly empty, I need my bod to heal.
My skin is all darn prickly, like I'm poked with pins
I'm lacking motivation, I really need some wins
Sleeps another factor, don't get much of that
which leads to inactivity and bloody body fat.
adventure, angst, confusion, dark, dedication, depression, devotion, education, faith, farewell, funny, humorous, imagination, introspection, lonely, loss, lost, memory, pain, parody, passion, people, places, retirement, sad, science fiction, sorrow, sorry, space, star, teacher, time, travel, tribute, visionary,
Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.
Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.
Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.
Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.
My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.
Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.
allah, angel, angst, confusion, dream, education, faith, freedom, god, happiness, health, heaven, history, holocaust, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, jesus, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, miracle, nature, on writing and words, pain, peace, people, philosophy, political, prayer, recovery from..., religious, sad, spiritual, stress, success, sympathy, teacher, time, write,
Beauty of nature
Why condense it down to God?
Isn’t life enough?
angst, change, childhood, confusion, depression, fear, feelings, children, kids, funny, growing up, home, homework, humor, inspiration, lonely, me, miss you, moving on, nature, pain, poetry, school, self, sorrow, stress, teen, time, writing, youth,
Like sick allergies,
Boredom can be passed around
I call it: THE BOREDOM DISEASE
Like a horrid storm,
Boredom can catch you off guard
Hold on for DEAR LIFE!
Like the whooping cough,
Boredom can be serious
If I were you, I’d
Get a vaccination !
humor, i love you, metaphor, nostalgia, pain, paris, wife,
Paris gave us much
from romance to this plaster
white Eiffel Tower
hindi, humorous, metaphor, missing you, pain, philosophy, simile,
Teri Yaaden Mirch Ki Tarah Teekhi Hain
Jab Bhi Aati Aankhen Nam Kar Jaati Hain
Roz Main Tumko Cheeni Kha Ke Sochta Hun.
adventure, angst, autumn, business, confusion, dark, dedication, depression, fear, grief, growing up, happiness, happy, hate, health, home, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, love, on work and working, pain, parody, people, relationship, retirement, sad, satire, school, social, stress, success, sympathy, time, work,
P aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face,
A cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race,
N othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace,
I nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase,
C hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace
fear, humorous, men, pain, power,
3/30/15 contest sponsored by: Judy Konos 'Your Footle Poem'
T Reams 1st Place
adventure, animal, confusion, courage, fear, funny, imagination, inspirational, life, lost, nature, on work and working, pain, relationship, stress, time, tree, uplifting, work,
Lookin' after pests
Keepin' a CLOSE eye on 'em
"Those wild animals!"
Roamin' around zoo
Searchin' for sneaky monkey
Hidin' in a tree
Zookeeper gets mad
"Where's Marty, the smartypants!?"
"He TOOK my cage keys!"
(my tribute to Limerickmeister Jack Ellison, smile engine extraordinaire)
I remember the time when I caught a
bit of my body parts where I oughtn't a
in much pain did I struggle
with my bits I did juggle
it really did make my eyes water!
adventure, art, beach, beauty, child, childhood, confusion, courage, dedication, fear, children, kids, freedom, friendship, funny, growing up, happiness, happy, history, hope, imagination, inspirational, journey, life, lonely, lost, mystery, nature, pain, passion, people, time, uplifting,
Dedicated to an author by the name of William Golding... Enjoy!!!
~Two boys meet on an island
~~One is skin 'n bones
~~~The other one is chubby
They discover a lagoon~
Ralph teases him by calling~~
him "Piggy" - how mean!!~~~
Piggy asks him if
There are other people on
The island with 'em
He has no clue
But this'll answer Piggy's question --
Other boys appear -
All diverse shapes and sizes
What'll happen next??
Have you ever read The Lord of the Flies?
I recommend it if yah haven't read it yet - I must admit
It's a book full of adult words and it's simply...FASCINATING! - no lies
You should read it - or you'll regret it!
angst, confusion, crazy, dad, environment, father, fear, feelings, kids, funny, growing up, how i feel, inspiration, life, lost, memory, pain, stress, time, words, youth,
Oh no!! I forgot –
I had a plate of dessert
In the cool freezer
Oh no!! Dad forgot –
He left his blue bowl of fruit
On the clean counter!
A dental assistant named Bertie
Found patients could sometimes get shirty
One annoying old bloke
Would repeat the same joke
His appointment time was 'tooth hurty'
This old joke drove Bertie insane
Still he laughed at it once again
But the dental staff
Had the biggest laugh -
This gentleman’s surname was Payne!
Once there was a wise man called Dr.Dates"the truth",
preaches “love, a great cure for all pain”. great truth.
Tender affection from others surely,
removes unpleasant sensations nicely.
Bloody, this fellow preaches filthy philosophy as truth!
confusion, dedication, fear, food, children, kids, forgiveness, friendship, funny, happiness, happy, hope, inspirational, life, lonely, pain, passion, people, spring, teen, time, uplifting, visionary,
Soy sauce drains
Into the white, clustered rice
spills . . .
Soy sauce taints
The whiteness of the grain
It slips out of my hands
No use...no point in crying out in rage
Though I was starving,
I'll just eat another thing and start on a new page
I'm hungry like a swine
I wish I can earn back my snack!
I'm as angry as a bull
I'm about ready to attack! Attack!
Soy sauce packages
Fall unto the dirty school ground
By bratty, conceited teens
They really need to eat their greens
Instead of junkfood and pizza
They should drink some water
Instead of drinking sugary drinks or
Sucking on popsicles obnoxiously
Why did the soy sauce spill? Seriously....
humor, pain, word play,
My foor peet were baking bo sadly.
Irk wended, and home I glushed radly.
I clopped down on the fouch.
I was such a green mouch,
just snapping at mamily fadly!
I shopped after faving my hit,
but sery voon I cad to whit!
I was stanned from the bore.
Say thaid, "Come here mo nore"
when I yelled, "This foo doesn't s_ _ _!"
March 2, 2016
Did someone see
My butt is sore
Did someone see
Now I'm sure both yellow and blue
Did someone see
I look around quickly
Did someone see
I wish I could shout loud
Did someone see
I get up in a hurry
Did someone see
I wet my butt
Did someone see
A-L Andresen :)