Humorous and funny Pain poems and/or funny poems about Pain. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Pain funny poems!
Written by
Isaiah Zerbst
Categories:
funny, humor, irony, pain, slam,
Jogger and Logger
For "Show Me the Funny (part two)"
There once was a fellow a woggin'*
Who bumped into one who was loggin'
They had quite a spat
The ax was a bat
And the first had a lump on his noggin
* Woggers are those who get all dressed for jogging, but only go at walking speed, while vigorously pumping their arms to delude themselves that they are jogging.
Written by
Harry Horsman
Categories:
funny, pain,
Literally a Sonnet About a Hornet
Oh buzz off you crazy crazy hornet
Trying to land here upon my buttock,
Here I am eating my crispy cornet
Lazing naked in my garden hammock.
Tried to coax it with my berry ice cream
But alas it seems unprepared or blind,
Dancing upon an invisible beam
Homing in on me with a one track mind.
Could it be I’ve enhanced the essence air
With a gross wind to further relieve me,
Or is this a mock symphony of flair
Of a Britain’s got talent “Bumble Bee?”
His “The classical flight” winning first prize
In pain my swelling one hell of a size!
© Harry J Horsman 2015
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
body, food, humorous,
Pain In the Butt
I visited Doctor Longdong
Told doc something’s terribly wrong
The pain in my hip
Is giving me gyp
He said it was caused by my thong!
I admit I’ve put on some weight
Can’t resist cream cakes on my plate
My ‘EX’ boyfriend was rude …
So I’m in a bad mood
Oh stuff it ….the diet can wait!
11~08~16
Written by
David Aaron
Categories:
allusion, care, funny, humor, imagery, pain
Fourteen
When someone says break
A leg is never offered
As the sacrifice
Written by
Anindya Mohan Tagore
Categories:
funny, pain,
Smoking Is Injurious
"Smoking is bad,
Out of fad", says
my lad of eight
Don't smoke again
It does slain you
Gives pain to us
I do not bluff
Said,"Enough!" Took
a puff to think
26.02.16
Written by
Gayle Rodd
Categories:
funny, humorous, pain,
A Needle In the Carpet
*spot poetry: Written in 15 minutes or less about any random subject.
Betwixt
Betwined
Beneath the tweed
lay the nasty pin
It pierced my toe without a need
My foot had lost again
Of all the places I should step
I landed on this pain
"Walkin' on pins and needles"
just doesn't mean the same
I merely stepped up to the lamp
To read the daily news
When all at once
The pin, it stuck
Submerged up through my shoe
And yelling out obscenities
I screamed these words in pain
"Either I get shoes with thicker soles
or ne'er read news again"
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
fantasy, humorous, pain,
I Must Give Up Swinging
I was swinging from my glass chandelier
Lost my grip and landed smack on my rear
Banged my head and blood poured out of my ear
I screamed expletives nobody should hear!
The ache in my bum was very severe
Sobbing with pain I shed a salty tear
An ambulance was called, it was soon here
The driver said 'oh not you again dear ..
you need to stay sober and keep off beer…
It’s the second time you’ve done this this year'!
Checked with how many syllables
Contest Monorhyme Mania
Sponsored by John Hamilton
08~22~16
Written by
Pivotal Poetry
Categories:
body, how i feel, humor, humorous, pain,
What the Fibro
My feet are always aching, like I've been on them all day
my muscles keep on twitching, my back keeps giving way
the migraines keep me tired and the Fibro too
I'm seriously lacking energy, but I've got so much to do.
The list keeps getting longer, I've lost my train of thought
now a daily struggle, I wish my pain was naught
I'm really good at hiding, exactly how I feel
though my tank is nearly empty, I need my bod to heal.
My skin is all darn prickly, like I'm poked with pins
I'm lacking motivation, I really need some wins
Sleeps another factor, don't get much of that
which leads to inactivity and bloody body fat.
WTF!
Written by
David Aaron
Categories:
humor, i love you, metaphor, nostalgia, pain, paris
Twenty Five
Paris gave us much
from romance to this plaster
white Eiffel Tower
Written by
Saahil Parwez
Categories:
hindi, humorous, metaphor, missing you, pain, philosophy
Triplet-3
Teri Yaaden Mirch Ki Tarah Teekhi Hain
Jab Bhi Aati Aankhen Nam Kar Jaati Hain
Roz Main Tumko Cheeni Kha Ke Sochta Hun.
Written by
Tammy Reams
Categories:
fear, humorous, men, pain, power,
Men and Hunting
Brave man
buckshot
rear rump
hot lead
stings red
pants drop
sees blood
Fainted!
3/30/15 contest sponsored by: Judy Konos 'Your Footle Poem'
T Reams 1st Place
Written by
Viv Wigley
Categories:
humor, pain,
The Zipper
(my tribute to Limerickmeister Jack Ellison, smile engine extraordinaire)
I remember the time when I caught a
bit of my body parts where I oughtn't a
in much pain did I struggle
with my bits I did juggle
it really did make my eyes water!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, irony,
He's a Real Pain
A dental assistant named Bertie
Found patients could sometimes get shirty
One annoying old bloke
Would repeat the same joke
His appointment time was 'tooth hurty'
This old joke drove Bertie insane
Still he laughed at it once again
But the dental staff
Had the biggest laugh -
This gentleman’s surname was Payne!
06~08~17
Written by
Poet. Undertaker
Categories:
humor,
Pain Killer
Once there was a wise man called Dr.Dates"the truth",
preaches “love, a great cure for all pain”. great truth.
Tender affection from others surely,
removes unpleasant sensations nicely.
Bloody, this fellow preaches filthy philosophy as truth!
Written by
Janice Canerdy
Categories:
humor, pain, word play,
Oh, My Faking Eet
My foor peet were baking bo sadly.
Irk wended, and home I glushed radly.
I clopped down on the fouch.
I was such a green mouch,
just snapping at mamily fadly!
I shopped after faving my hit,
but sery voon I cad to whit!
I was stanned from the bore.
Say thaid, "Come here mo nore"
when I yelled, "This foo doesn't s_ _ _!"
March 2, 2016
Written by
Pete Yuhas
Categories:
body, cancer, emotions, humor, memory, pain
Broken Memories
My transport is broken, it's falling apart
well, physically speaking I mean
Rust and corrosion, abuse and neglect
add up to a miserable scene
Headaches and pain, and depression and such
all taking their toll on it too
But there's part of the mind, that no trauma can touch
the part that is pulling me through
I can still travel, though walking is hard
and I can still fight through the pain
I can still see, all those wonderful things
The ones that I've stored in my brain
Nourishment comes, from the back of my mind
That place where my memories are kept
Bringing me pleasure and happiness too
Once all the cobwebs are swept.....
Written by
Tammy Reams
Categories:
body, funny, humor, humorous, men, pain
Let'Er Rip
Let'er Rip and Shoot from the Hips
My pants got hung as I start to unzip!
Let'er Rip and Shoot from the Hips
With the pain from the nip I start to skip!
Let'er Rip and Shoot from the Hips
I guess the women are right I'm well equip!
T Reams
Written by
Anne-Lise Andresen
Categories:
funny, pain,
- On Thin Ice -
Aware .....
Did someone see
My butt is sore
Did someone see
Now I'm sure both yellow and blue
Did someone see
I look around quickly
Did someone see
I wish I could shout loud
Did someone see
I get up in a hurry
Did someone see
I wet my butt
Did someone see
18.01.2013
A-L Andresen :)
Written by
Sidney Hall Mad Poet
Categories:
funny
Back Pain
I sit here with lower back pain
Need to see the doctor
Con…….
…………sti………
……………..pationnnnah driving me insane
*don't know if it would be classed as a grook, never wriiten one before*
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
body, for him, humorous, pain,
The Tooth the Hole Tooth and Nothing But the Tooth - For Victor Buhagiar
Poor Victor began to feel ill
When he heard the dentist’s loud drill
his knees began to shake
But he had bad toothache
So he sat in the chair quite still
The dentist said “please open wide
There’s a dental nurse by your side
Your fear we understand
And she will hold your hand
This won’t hurt a bit”, OUCH… he lied!
Posted with permission of Victor who challenged me to write a poem about his recent dental experience … the nurse holding his hand is pure poetic licence
08-10-17
Written by
David Aaron
Categories:
appreciation, cheer up, humor, humorous, pain, sexy
Twenty Six
Add toenail polish
when your broken leg demands
self esteem and praise
Written by
Jerry T Curtis
Categories:
humorous,
No Gain No Pain
I want to thank all of the judges
and I'll try to make it quite clear
for not letting me win in your contest
I seem to lose weight every year
I write my heart out on paper
and I send it with hope, but at last
It resist being read by you people
but has no trouble finding the trash
Still I say, I must give you my thanks
And nothing more need now be said
'cause if I won one of your contest
I couldn't bare the weight of my head
Written by
David Aaron
Categories:
fun, funny love, happy, humor, pain, sexy
Thirteen
My toes "taste so good"?
Careful with my casted leg!
Crutches keep me safe.
Written by
Sara Kendrick
Categories:
funny, health, pain,
Dental Procedure
Once upon a time recently
To dentist went confidently
He gave huge novacaine
Suppose to ease my pain
To my heart went incidently
The dentist chiseled tooth away
I didn't want to play rest of day
The morning after~Oh! well
I'll just say, upon pain did dwell
But money to him still will pay
Sponsor: Black-Eyed Susan
Contest: The Worst Morning After
Written Monday, July 22, 2013
One week since the procedure
and I am still having some pain..
My heart still hasn't settled completely
either..
Written by
Paul Schneiter
Categories:
addiction, humor, pain,
Street Cure
Joe Samson couldn't stand racket
he told his five boys to sack it.
They refused to comply
today they wonder why
their dad was driven to crack it.