Funny Poems About Grandparents or Grandparents Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Grandparents poems and/or funny poems about Grandparents. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Grandparents funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Grandparents Poems.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: children, humorous, parents,

A PARENTS GROOK

Small babies are unpredictable just like the weather Often wet; with sudden outbreaks of terrible wind But would I have altered anything, no never … Being a parent, you become very thick skinned! Contest: Grook Sponsor: Silent One 02~14~16


Poem Details | by Amber Melhuish |
Categories: animal, funny, kid, kindergarten, parents,

Kids Like Funny Presents

Hey Mummy, hey daddy
Guess what I got today.
A headful of headaches
Are coming your way

My best friend at kindy
She gave me a gift
Lots of them, actually
They move and they shift

They are really athletic
They jump really high
They come and they stay
No need to say bye

They make me dance
My best friend is so nice
I couldn't wait to tell you
That she gave me lice!

Poem Details | by Muhammad Safa Thajudeen |
Categories: humor, parents,

MY PA,MY MA MY PARENTS

My Pa,
My Ma,
My parents,
Pa a gent,
Ma his agent,
Pa spends,
Pa(ys)rent,
Ma at home,on rent!

Poem Details | by The Grahamburglar |
Categories: childhood, children, funny, kid, moon, my child, parents,

Pink Sky at Night

I really want the moon, who smiles oh so bright,
to be a little different, if only for tonight.
Last night it was a circle, same as the night before,
its always been a circle, and that is such a bore.
So little star up in the sky, I wish I may and might,
make the moon a triangle, and make it pink, not white.

2/21/16

*Last night my 2 year old daughter saw the moon and said, "I really want the moon to be a triangle, but it keeps being a circle!"


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: children, humorous, parents, sexy,

ENTWINED

Parents locked in a loving embrace Mum was wearing pink satin and lace Making love on the floor Their kids burst through the door Just imagine the looks on their face! Quickly covering bodies and tushes They bribed the kids to spare their own blushes Dad put some locks on the door Just to be doubly sure - So when entwined they enjoy their crushes Contest: Entwined Sponsor: Broken Wings 02-07~16

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: children, humorous, parents, truth,

WOULD I LIE TO YOU

My advice to my younger self would be DON'T believe what adults tell you... Santa Claus The Easter Bunny The Tooth Fairy Carrots help you see in the dark... I rest my case! Contest: What would you say Sponsor: Alexis Y 10~31~15

Poem Details | by Alex Frankel |
Categories: computer, funny, parents,

Computer Training

I took my father 
Out into the garden 
And banged my head 
Against the brick wall 
Three times 
While he was saying 
That the azaleas 
Were doing fine. 

When I banged my head again, 
He told me the grass 
Needed cutting 
And the fence 
Was too low. 

When I banged my head once more 
My father became concerned 
And asked me why 
I banged my head so. 
And I told him that this 
Was a metaphor 
For teaching him 
How to use a computer, 
And he said 
That I was just as crap 
At gardening as he was 
At computers 
And that even brick walls 
Have feelings.

Poem Details | by May Fenn |
Categories: animal, childhood, family, humorous, parents, son, word play,

Our Kid

A kid is not a human child
But offspring of a goat
So why do you then call him so
And thus your son demote.
Kids are animals wild and free
That butt and kick and bite,
On second thoughts – I’ve met your son,
Perhaps in fact you’re right.

Poem Details | by Darrell Collins |
Categories: family, humorous, my children,

What Parents Should Say

What Parents Should Say
Written by: D. Collins 5/6/16

And We Quote…………

“Go out and test the water, but swim the right way.”
“We relinquished rights on your eighteenth birthday.”
“We’re on vacation enjoying some of life.”
“We can’t get a signal or enough height.”

“Your dad is busy.  He can’t come to the phone.”
“When you blow all your money don’t call home.”
“Join the Army and go see the world.”
“Wear a condom when you get with the girls.”

“We’re only weening you ‘cause all animals ween.”
“We’ll have to call you back, we’re on the putting green.”
“We gave you the tools, now its time to use them.”
"It’s called growing up to become young women and men.”

Poem Details | by Louis Nathaniel |
Categories: humorous, parents,

Growing Up

Parental guidance?
Don’t be such a hypocrite
Eat your vegetables

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: emotions, funny love, grief, moving on, parents, perspective, relationship,

Tell Your Child Everything Please

What do you think happens when you die?
I asked the sobbing 7-year-old.
She could not quit though.
She was in full-blown
keening, wailing,
shoulder shaking,
lip quivering,
keening, and screaming now,
sobbing mode.


Her very caring, loving, unselfish parent
Had told her about the death of her
Great-aunt Rose, whom she had
Never met who
Passed
In 
1965 
this morning.

It was the fifth time I had 
seen her this week as
her great-great grandfather
had passed in 1972, 74, 78,
81, and 85.

Her mother, was the best
story-telling drug addicted
parent in the world
apparently,
and knew
what she
needed to
do to keep
lilttle one in
check.



Poem Details | by cheryl hoffman |
Categories: childhood, humor, parents,

My Parents Favorite Motto

First hear it from my Mom and Dad,
at first I thought the idea absurd,
but then I thought what the heck,
so I went outside to look around and check,

Investigating every single inch of property,
some squirrels running by my young feet,
with my happiness being short lived,
when I noticed no money growing on our trees.



1-16-17

Poem Details | by Kim Rodrigues |
Categories: humor, parents,

POTENTIAL ENERGY

Old girlfriends, my dad’s drifting down that path,
Into death valley as my mom seethes wrath.
The old man’s gone crazy.
His mind sharp, not lazy.
Mom’s dried the dishes. Dad’s in the flight path.

6/20/2018

Poem Details | by Erin Soares-Anselmi |
Categories: humor,

APB All Parents Bulletin

APB : 

It has been confirmed victims Respect and Dignity have been found dead.
Respect died from several slaps to the face and Dignity was shot in the head. 

Suspects have been identified as Dishonor Yu, Plain Ignorance and total disregard.
They have been affiliated with the gang Flippancy out of the city of Contemptuous yard.

Do not approach suspects they are considered arm with bad manners and a lack of upbringing. 
If you have any information please contact your nearest Elder’s office at 1-800- needs a good *** kicking.

Poem Details | by J Clinton Smith |
Categories: daughter, family, funny, life, love, son

Warning for Future Parents

What to do when starting at 1

2 at a time now 3 is done

4 is fun yet 5 has come 

and 6 is here should we've begun

Oh no now 7 could this be true

and 8 and 9 what to do

add a 1 and no more too

that makes 10 what a crew

Remember though when starting 

at 1 that making the kids is part of the fun

So I warn you all when starting at 1 

be responsible in your love with your daughters and sons 

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: family, funny, hair, parents, silly, teenage,

Family Life

To prove that she just did not care
She tossed all her clothes in the air
Her father would scream
Whilst mum ate ice cream
And the postman sighed, "What a pair!"

Gummi Bare

Freddy had a rubber dolly
Designed to be, "Freddy's Folly"
Out of the blue
She proved untrue
And bounced off the bed with Wally

Teenage Trauma

Wanda & May Bee were very best friends
Like all teenagers they followed the trends
In all kinds of weather
They would cry together
Their world was ending; they both had split ends!

Poem Details | by Volodymyr Knyr |
Categories: allegory, animal, children, humorous, parents, people,

Hares and heirs

The higher the fecundity of hares, 
the worse the chance to reconcile their heirs.

Volodymyr Knyr
2014

Poem Details | by Freddie Robinson Jr. |
Categories: childhood, humor, metaphor, parents,

Caught in the Act



Got my hand caught in the cookie jar,
mother’s ears didn’t wander too far
Here comes the wooden stare ... 
then hot bottom fanned air
Double trouble, here comes father’s car

Poem Details | by nita martin |
Categories: family, funny

Things Parents Say

Things mom's always say 
That can ruin a kids day

" I don't care what your dad said."
" If your friends jumped off a bridge would You"
" Because I said So that is why"
"NO NO NO and still NO "

Thing dad's always say
When they don't want to ruin a kids day

"GO ASK YOUR MOTHER"

Poem Details | by Freddie Robinson Jr. |
Categories: humorous, parents, parody, wisdom,

Homespun Wisdom


Got sent to the principal's office
Sex Ed teacher made the call
Said I didn't raise my hand,
and spoke out of turn
That I said some racy things,
that had the whole class giggling
Well, Mr. Principal, sir ...
I simply said my parents told me
that sex don't work like that
They said before you go ripping your clothes off,
and jumping in the sack ...
eager to sow your seed
You first gotta find that needle in the haystack

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: conflict, daughter, humorous, parents,

THE NAME GAME - WHO IS TO BLAME - BAWDY LIMERICK


A woman whose name is Tess Tickle Gets upset and in a right pickle Folks make fun of her name (Thoughtless parents to blame) Her respect for them is quite fickle 4/17/18

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: baby, humorous, parents, sad, society, spoken word, technology,

BABY TALK

As parents we just love to hear our baby say their first word But in this technological age I’ve just read something absurd I love to hear babies babbling But will this news story vex ‘ya’ The baby didn’t say mama or dada Its very first word was ALEXA! Are the parents just seeking notoriety ... Or is this a poor reflection on today’s society Poem inspired by this news story http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5803039/Mothers-shock-baby-sons-word-Alexa-Amazons-personal-assistant.html 6/5/18

Poem Details | by Miroslaw Eric Sulkowski |
Categories: children, love, parents,

Funny how much we love our kids

Surprise! Here I am! Doc, a boy or a girl? What color of eyes then poo in the diaper? I rock and I roll, I drool and I fall, I smell but can tell just how much you love me First cry, then I squeak Hey Dad, I can speak Get ready for questions and some indigestion Got ways to obtain, Will to disobey, The rebel is here along with some pimples World around I shall tame, Silly stuff I’ll proclaim, Shake your head, ’s if to say: Funny how much we love our kids

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: candy, conflict, grandmother, humorous, mother daughter, parents,

FIVE LETTER WORDS

Meets Nanny Named Annie Given treat – Candy sweet Mummy cross … Candy dross! Happy child Mummy riled! Lolly falls Tommy bawls! Tacky pants Mummy rants Tommy cries Daddy sighs Fresh lolly Tommy jolly Happy smile Short while Chews lolly Great folly Awful truth hurts tooth Blood pours Tommy roars Tears spill Mouth swill Tommy yelps Annie helps Hides candy Nanny handy! Annie sorry Gives lorry Tommy plays Happy phase! "Fem Bogstaver" Contest Sponsored by Rhoda Tripp 18/12/17

Poem Details | by Gail DeBole |
Categories: children, humor, humorous, mother, parents,

A Parent's Jam

Written by Gail DeBole
in the 1970s
(Pre-parent status)

I'd like to have more patience.
I really think I can.
I tell myself most readily
While looking for the jam.

The jam was in the kitchen,
A few scant seconds ago.
I take a step to the sink,
Squishing jam between my toes.

I'd like to have more patience.
I really think I can.
I'll be in a better mood
When I can buy more jam.