Humorous and funny Personification poems and/or funny poems about Personification. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Personification funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Personification Poems.
Sharon De Fazio
cute love, funny love, i miss you, joy, love, simile, teen,
I miss you,
like the sky misses the stars.
like the streets when there are no cars.
like a government that has no laws,
like music, when it is on pause.
I miss you,
like the desert misses the rain
like an addict without cocaine,
like a kiss that misses lips
like actors without their scripts.
funny, time, time,
I'm still waiting
How much time has elapsed
Think I'll read
While I'm waiting
I just read a chapter
I do believe my call is being answered
No, a voice on a machine echoes
"Your call will be taken in the order in which it was received"
What number caller was I
Probably the 1000th caller
I'll touch up my manicure
While I'm waiting
I'm still waiting
I smudged my polish on one nail
Wonder If I have time to fix it
Before they break their necks to take my call
They must be averaging one call every ten minutes
I'll continue reading
Another chapter done
I'm still waiting
Here I sit on the ocean bed
Just sifting mud and ooze,
But If it was up to me
It's not the life I'd choose.
It's dark down here, there's creepy things
All looking for a feast
So I live on tenterhooks,
Hiding from the beasts.
To be higher up the food chain
Is where I'd love to be,
But to be a shark, or a huge blue whale
Was not my destiny.
So my life is what it is,
I am just what I am.
But it's no fun at the bottom,
It's no fun being a clam.
Personification poem of a pet, wild animal or insect Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin
2/9/18. Placed 6th.
M. L. Kiser
animal, cat, humor, pets, poems, poetry,
Ah, sweet slumber of nip-laden dreams;
the milk of mother moon bestowed,
a blessed drink and lactose-free
to this mine humble, feline throat.
Running freely through outer space,
I touch upon thy blessed universe.
My home of emerald and lapis lace,
is where in I lay in furred repose.
Chasing neon rainbows in nebulae bright,
my dreams are filled with gold doubloons.
I’ll spend them on treats and nip-delight,
and chase away any greedy tycoons.
A feline black as obsidian night,
in a home filled with human love;
among the faeries and tree sprites,
mind flies just like the doves.
Linda Alice Fowler
allusion, food, humorous, sensual, silly, summer,
rub my butt with spices
baste my breasts with olive oil
slather my wings and things with sauce
butter my thighs, slow broil
ah, the savory delights of a summer BBQ!
Im a dot,
A small black powerful dot,
I can spoil a celebrity autograph
I make void a bank cheque signature
I can spoil a sentence, a tiny story:
“A man walked along the. road”
With my friends, we make something mysterious:
“then the door closed………………….”
I highjack a comma
I meet up with another dot
I question myself with a scimitar shape
We dots, team up with our friends, the dashes to make the well known Morse code
. - .. - - .
dance, humor, humorous, silly,
waltz: One, two, three.
One, two, three.
Entry for Contest: Shall We Waltz?
Host: Kim Merryman
*in the Air Force we had a program for Airmen who were struggling to meet the physical fitness requirements, which we referred to in a sort of tongue-in-cheek manner as "The Dancing Bears" program.
animals, children, funny,
The moon has a face like the clock in the hall,
She shines on thieves in the garden wall,
On streets and fields and harbour quays,
And birds asleep in the forks of trees.
The squalling cat and the squeaking mouse,
The howling dog by the door of the house.
The bat that lies in bed at noon,
All love to be out by the light of the moon.
But all of the things that belong to the day
Cuddle to sleep to be out of her way,
And flowers and children close their eyes
Till up in the morning the sun shall arise.
funny, imagination, life
Laundry's a tedious task
that is just what I think
Curious, and I must ask 'cause this has me on the brink
Why is one sock always stubborn?
Why does it leave it's partner behind?
When matching 'em up I am so forlorn
are they just trying to be unkind?
Maybe they think it is hilarious
to play this prank on me
I do not think it is funny
Together these socks must be!!
Eventually they all get together
Maybe they party when I'm not home
Do they plan which sock will sneak away next?
Do they have a plan where it will roam?
It sure makes laundry exciting as I play this guessing game
Maybe these woolen beauties
don't want my interest in laundry to wane.
I think my MOO MOJO has let me down
that HE bull, Morris, just grunts and frowns
he doesn't even glance around
when I pass by, I'm just another COW.
Those devilish twins, Dan and Dick
sneak out at night and play their tricks
while I try to sleep, they go COW DIP
and knock me down, they need a good WHIP.
And every morning, when Sally MILKS me
she pulls so hard, it nearly KILLS me
It's an UDDER shame, one day, you'll see
I'll KICK her good, when she ain't looking!
I'm in a baneful MOOD, I feel so alone
Just wandering along, I MOO and I MOAN
I chew my old CUD and aimlessly roam
Wish I weren't filled with these dang HORMONES!
Written on 2/19/2016
celebrity, crazy, football, goodbye, hilarious, surreal,
Richer than rich!
By Stanley Russell Harris
The new mad Author
& A Poetry Soup honourably mentioned poet
Has football gone completely mad!
A sport of all now to be had!
Boys and girls play it today.
I wonder, is it for the pay?
Talk is now, if one does go.
To China, that’s overseas, you know.
If here you have made your name.
There you would be one of fame.
I mean a million pounds every week!
No doubt one will work, so to speak.
But kicking an air filled ball.
Ain’t worth one million pounds at all!
Still, if I was offered a payment so.
Off I would blinking go.
I’d write a verse every day!
Rest of the time I’d count me pay.
lol (The new mad Author)
Here I am just a little dot to signify the end of a thought
Should I go here. or maybe there.
Ah, just use a comma, it will not totally interrupt that thought
Whoa! Wrap it up with a semi-colon;
Her thoughts just keep jumping
Maybe I'll type on the parenthesis(and slow them down)
Where am I placed anyway?(question)
First row ring finger.....
Oh! She found me now the page is filing with dots...............Stop.........stop.....
Me the period a writer's friend~~~
When I'm properly used requires a breath________
Breathe now......Breathe now..
Are you resuscitated yet???
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
Sponsor: Debbie Guzzi
Contest: Punctuation Personification
Tonight I will be the special guest
I’ll be dressed in my very best
With a brown coat and golden fluff
A tiny tie, I will be stuffed
I’ll wear the perfect cologne for me
A spicy mixture of earth and sea
The aroma will fill the air
All my friends will be there
We will laugh and pray
Mom will work the entire day
I will be honored with a special toast
Everyone will admire my coat
It will be my finest hour
As all my friends will devour
This is what I was brought here for
This turkey could not ask for more
Copyright © 2009 Lena “Lolita” Townsend
For the "Turkey Tribute" Contest
animal, farm, funny,
When strangers see me they laugh
Thinking I have no class
But I tell the farmer they're here
Cause I'm smart and I have no fear
I'm the guardian most preferred
Over cattle, goat and sheep herds
I always announce all strangers
And alert of immediate danger
I'm loyal, gentle and kind
Jump higher than any equine
Stronger than many men put together
A nanny or surrogate, whatever?
Here comes my owner now
I'll pretend I'm as dumb as a cow
He serves breakfast but no demi tasse
"Good morning, you old jackass"
Then I grin and loudly bray
Cause hee haw, hee haw, hee halways talks to me that way
Feb 18 2016 by Daniel Turner
You hold out your hand and reach for me
I am the one thing you desire
You cannot wait to turn me on
Guess you know the right buttons to press
I start to get all hot and steamy
I am the one to quench your thirst…
Where would we be without our kettle?
21st August 2014
JSLambert Mister ROBOTO
animals, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, husband, life, nature, people, wedding, wife,
She's got a plan
just moved to Florida
one week in the hole
a forced proposal...
maybe if I get a job with insurance;
we'll get married...
then you'll have insurance too!"
the spider web is officially constructed
no...we'll name it
the Black Widow!
I lie in bed dreaming sweet dreams
Smooth sheets caress my body
Curled up with the one I love
You gently call my name
Whispering sweet nothings in my ear
Singing me the sweetest song
I turn over and I reach out for you
Don’t you just hate it when the radio alarm clock goes off?
22nd August 2014
Positioned at the end of a line
Between one line and another
Preventing confusion and clutter
A traffic cop
Signaling to stop
Fewer mistakes made
If more attention paid
The sentence not written by me
I knew where I should be
End of story...period
funny love, satire, woman,
Her shadow crept into bedroom
and kissed me passionately
Cupid, Cupid, cherubic sprite
Do you feel at all contrite
To fire your bow at only one
Then fly away and say, "I'm done!"
Cupid, Cupid, do you delight
To set a single dart in flight
So one can pine, the other run
Is that your impish way of fun?
Cupid, Cupid, who do you serve
That tolerates such childish nerve
Does God or Satan have your oath?
Personally........Methinks its both!
Timothy I. Brumley
character, environment, fun, humorous, identity, nature, tree,
I'm in a crowded place.
Others brush my limbs.
We look so much the same,
I easily fit in.
No one knows my name.
I am one of them,
firry and firm with
a little junk in the trunk.
Wispy and thin,
I flow with the breeze.
I'm a little shady,
but stay if you please
as long as you'd like.
I've no teeth to bite.
If you come closer,
I won't walk away.
I've no legs to go.
I'm here every day.
The great outdoors
is where I sleep.
They're all I've known.
My roots are deep.
This crowded forest
is my home.
By: Juliet Ligon
Once a time that was so dark
Came a stream upon it, there was an ark
Animals were on but only one
His name they called son
A cat I said I know I saw
So tiny to me though I am tall
He came to be little
O but did he play with a fiddle
Here and there
Soon it's everywhere
We heard his song
Upon the waters of the pond
He smiled, it was such a riddle
He played songs of his fiddle
Now he is known
As the cat with a fiddle
I used to be called ice box.
To protect my integrity, I need to be cold.
At any degree, I am o.k. with myself.
Made of steel; I am strong.
To move me, would be difficult.
Any tears are now frozen within me.
What is inside of me remains good and safe.
See the light and
You find things of substance and value there.
I do not mind being called frigid.
If I should break down;
You would be sorry,
Not able to feed your needs.
You use me and take me for granted.
I have been here at your convenience,
To get what you want!
animals, friendship, funny, love, pets,
The way that you’re crying,
You sound like you’re dying…
You can’t get enough of that food!
And then, when I feed you,
You say, “I don’t need you!”
And you’re in another bad mood!
Stop trying to bite me!
I think that you might be…
A little too cruel and crabby!
No matter what I say,
I’ll adore you anyway!
You’ll always be my love, Tabby!
art, emotions, humorous,
I detest the way folks stare at me
If I’m honest I find it extremely rude
They comment about my dress and my smile
It puts me in a dreadful mood
I’ve hung around on this gallery wall
For over one hundred and thirty years
I get no respite from constant visitors
Their comments ring in my poor ears
Oh look it’s the Mona Lisa
How dare they call me by name!
Why can’t folks just let me rest
It is driving me completely insane!