Humorous and funny Epigram poems and/or funny poems about Epigram. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Epigram funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Epigram Poems.
nick armbrister jimmy boom semtex
animal, character, funny,
Purple Guinea Pig
Growl growl bite bite goes the guinea pig
As she rips out your fecking throat
The fierce guinea pig purple in colour
Not to be fecked with or name called
She'll hunt you down and kill ya!
And talks like a real American
The purple guinea pig who growls
Straight from the chest
Hear her and you're screwed
Get ready to be eaten
Purple guinea pig style!
CC 191 2020
JIMMY BOOM SEMTEX
animals, children, funny,
There once was a pig who would try,
To jump off the ground and to fly,
The result was the same,
'Til he bought a plane,
And left his friends waving goodbye!
I is as dirty as dirty can be
Cause I is just a pig you see
I wallow around in my lovely sty
Your cleanliness rules just don’t apply
I love the mud, that gooey stuff
And as to the odor, I can’t get enough
The stuff they feed me, you call it slop
Well, I think it’s great, really tip- top
I have no worries, no not a one
But the dog just said ,”Go on, have fun-
For if I’m not mistaken,
You soon will be bacon..”
Gary Wayne Hill
children, kids, funny, grandson,
Luke treats eating like a contest
An all that you can eat
Luke scoffs down everything
Fills himself down to his feet
Today he swallowed down six doughnuts
He gobbled up some pies
He munched his way through a chocolate cake
Two hamburgers and some fries
Luke was very pleased with himself
Acting like he’d won the cup
But then everything he’d eaten
Just came right back up
Though we did present him with a prize
But for Luke it caused more distress
As we handed him a mop and bucket
To clean up all the mess.
And it did him no good complaining
That his tummy hurts
This greedy little pig
Got his just deserts.
Poor Bob was a kind of a dork
He kept eating soup with a fork
We wasn't to bright
Sad was his plight
When he took his pig to New York
funny, life, nostalgia,
I’m hunting wabbits , are you going too.
Da duh da duh da downtown is a clue.
Watch out for that, doc.
I’ll think I will walk.
Ti, ti, ti, turn quick, wha, wha, what I do.
Sponsor Carolyn Devonshire
Contest Name Techno-Limericks
A Pig in a Poke--Cheese & Whine
A pretty girl named Mary Crary
And her sweetheart wanted to marry.
Her daddy said, “Take her
But do not forsake her
When you find that Mary’s contrary”.
The difference between a man and a pig is big.
Which one particular ?.... Children can answer.
Even if you pour wine into the throat of a pig,
To become a man pig have not got a chance!
Oday ouyay owknay igpay atinlay?
Ethay irlgay oreway away essdray ofway atinsay.
Away ongsay ofway ovelay eshay angsay osay eetsway,
Idday ouyay enjoyway isthay ittlelay eattray?
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
animals, food, funny
“Pig in the Poke.”
There once was a pig that liked Cokes.
He usually partied; told jokes.
One day he woke up.
Drank mud from his cup.
Then, he choked; poor pig in the poke.
© Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
January 30, 2010
Poetic form: Limerick
If you give a pig a pancake
In hopes that he will cheer-up
Don’t forget the butter
And lots of maple syrup
You can offer him some toast
A knife, a spoon and fork
But please don't offer bacon
Because pigs will not eat pork!
1st grade, 2nd grade, 3rd grade, environment, funny,
Let’s have a puppy party!
No. Let’s have a pig party.
Let’s have a puppy pig pancake party.
YAY! The kindergarteners cheered.
Let’s have a wizard party.
No. Let’s have a wild party.
Can we have a wild wizard party?
Because I have a wizard, and there is nothing wild about him.
A whole different story.
Compromise is not easily obtained now.
Let’s have a Scarecrow party.
Let’s have a Fish party.
No one wants that!
Second graders have suddenly turned a lot more cynical.
I have no idea what is going to happen when sixth graders start to party plan,
But I doubt it will be pretty.
animals, children, funny, nature,
Oinking, squealing pigs
Their sounds are not mistaken
Do you think it’s because they know
Soon they’ll be chops, ham and bacon?
animals, death, food, funny
Cry pig because you’re about to be slaughtered
Cry pig because people will begin to eat you shortly
Cry pig because you will be in a frying pan soon
Cry pig because you will be served in restaurants tomorrow
Cry pig because you will no longer be with your family
Cry pig because your children will be next
Cry pig because you will suffer through pain to achieve our hunger
Cry pig because you will never die of natural causes
Cry pig because you will no longer have feelings
Cry pig because you will no longer have emotions
Cry pig because your life is over
Cry pig because ours have just begun
Written November 23, 2008
angst, animals, funny,
(This is a fictional poem)
You should be arrested and thrown in the brig.
You came to my house and raped my pig.
I was wondering what was making my pig squeal.
When I saw what you were doing to her, it made me ill.
My pig just gave birth and you are the dad.
I puked when I saw what she had.
Her babies have the bodies of a pig and the heads of a man.
I'm going to get rid of these freaks as fast as I can.
My patience is like my hair, it's getting very thin.
I'll shoot you if you ever come near my pig again.
connie you dress up your poems beautiful-still it squeaks and squirms
Lipstick on a pig-
you've heard me speak of zodiacs
your face is giving weird looks
with me staring right on back
so i started to read in one of my books
it's one of the books with signs in chinese
"so surprising" not what you'd expect
so i'm breaking you in with a tender ease
but with total honesty and respect
now i'll proberbly be causing myself alot of strife
but it says your a typical pig
no honest on my mundane life
not only that but it's written quite big
well i thought that sounded quite bad
my sign said i'm worse than that
when i turnt over the page and how sad
i ended up being a bloody rat!!!!
To his psychiatrist a pig complained:
I’m struggling with a matter I need explained:
Why are our yearly losses
rarely by natural causes?
Nonsense, said the shrink,
give it some reconsideration.
You’ll find, I think,
it’s just a pigment of your imagination.