Funny Poems About Pirate or Pirate Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Pirate poems and/or funny poems about Pirate. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Pirate funny poems!

Written by Poet Destroyer A
Categories: adventure, anti bullying, boat, humor, slavery, violence, voyage,

Pirate Bay

```Pirate Bay the Haiku``` 

pirates fierce and mean 
drowning fish, sea to sea 
parrots on their butt 


```Polly Wants A Cracker``` 

bloodthirst & brutal 
Quartermaster Gone Wild 
dirty wings on deck 


```Sea World Adventure``` 
ship crew goes on strike 
sailing the Caribbean 
wooden leg splashing 


~*~

Written by John Williams
Categories: children, funny,

The Pirate Captain

A pirate captain yelling orders on deck,
    Was bitten by his parrot on the neck,
          His blood-curdling scream
     Followed by a volley of blaspheme,
Caused him to be known as Captain Peck.


Written by Deborah Burch
Categories: adventure, funny, satire,

A Pirate

A Pirate

There once was a pirate called Mangon
Who raped the High Seas with a fangen*
But one night at Port
They captured the sport
Now crows rape his bones where he's hangin'!

©deborah burch
4/1/2012



*note: fangen (fanging)---"moving at outrageous speeds;
desire something greatly; to need badly")
also: "to seize; grab"

Written by Arthur Vaso
Categories: humorous, sea,

The Pirate Who Stole My Boat

On the seas of turquoise green
A pirate ship approached
And stole my boat
All cargo was aboard

I was saddened at the loss that day
For the ship was a fine seaworthy vessel
I hope they take good care
Of both vessel and my wife

I shall miss them both
They been sailed many a year
Thank god I have insurance
For the vessel I held so dear

Thank-you

Note: No boats or wives where actually stolen, kidnapped or harmed in the making of this poem!!

Written by Rhona Mcferran
Categories: child, childhood, funny, humorous, imagination, kid, perspective,

Pirate Tale

To the ship they row
Pirates Pete and Bo
Sea prowess to show
Sailing!

Argh! They proudly crow
Greeting all they know
With a 'Yo-ho-ho'
Hailing!

Sea terrors, heigh-ho!
Stolen treasures stow
Overboard men throw
Quailing!

Storm winds fiercely blow
Apprehensions grow
Enemy adds woe
Trailing...

Formidable foe
Tragic overthrow
Sad, their ship's death-throe
Failing!

Sloshing to and fro
Amid undertow
Down and down they go
Flailing!

Out the waters flow
Bath-time over, so
Out the pirates go
Wailing!



Another attempt at a Lai poem... still not sure whether I'm getting it right, but either way, it was fun! ;D


Written by Gregory Richard Barden
Categories: fun, humorous,

Pirate Priorities

There was an old pirate named Greg

Who found a big hole in his keg

With no time remaining

And rum quickly draining

He plugged it with his wooden leg



Now, normally Greg would not balk

But this placed a limp in his walk

Yet each one of his mates

Felt it planned by the fates

That both ship and captain ... should rock.





~ 1st Place ~  in the "Pirate Them,ed Limerick" Poetry Contest, Tania Kitchin, Judge & Sponsor.

(Syllables = 8,8,6,6,8 X 2, counted at HowManySyllables.com)

Written by Tom Cunningham
Categories: humor, sea,

Pirate Albert Mcsheel

A ruthless pirate called Albert McSheel
Got caught and offered his captors a deal
A framed map of his treasure
His parrot for good measure
And a promise to never again steal.

A month later he was back on the sea
He had lied and was robbing ruthlessly
And while McSheel was asleep
Two hidden trackers did beep
A drone soon put an end to his crime spree.




Written on 10th April 2019

For Pirate Themed Limerick Poetry Contest.

Sponsored by Tania Kitchin.


Both stanzas 10/10/7/7/10.

Written by Jerry T Curtis
Categories: humorous,

She Pirate Thatch 3

She Pirate Thatch 3


She had a map tattooed on her torso
Of places I've desired to go
North America looked fine
And Her Brazil was divine
But, Panama I liked even more so

Written by Tom Cunningham
Categories: humor,

Pirate Joe

Pirate Joe was drinking rum from a keg
Fell overboard and a shark had his leg
They hauled him back in
And stopped the bleedin
And chippy fitted him with a wood peg.

Of good quality you could see the grain 
Joe said " it's great to be walking again 
But as time went by
Wood started to dry 
And wet rot set in because of the rain.

One day his peg fell off with a loud thump 
And now Joe has one good leg and a stump
But the story I'm told
He had one made of gold 
Now he drags it with a hop, skip and jump...



Written on 22nd July 2022

Written by Tania Kitchin
Categories: fun, humorous,

Nate the Pirate

I once dated a suave pirate named Nate
He said his dates never had a complaint
Asked me if he could
Show his treasured goods
But seeing more than his gold made me faint

2/22/23
Contest: Put your Best Limerick forward, be like Rico Leffanta Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Andrea Dietrich
( Checked with howmanysyllables)
This was an older one I posted a while back and removed due to work but wanted to post it again for the contest.

Written by Bm Bm
Categories: character, fantasy, funny,

Walk the Walk -Pirate Contest

Argh!  Matey, now it's time for you 
To take a little walk. 

You see that plank, off of the side?
Now walk the walk you talk!  

A pirate you have always been
And should have came to be

But, then you crossed the meanest one...
That pirate crossed, was me!

Now, step up to that plank out there..
You fate..awaits for you. 

For when a pirate crosses me...
They walk that same plank too!

Written by Jerry T Curtis
Categories: food, humor,

Meat Pete the Pirate

I once knew a pirate named Pete
There's nothing that he wouldn't eat
He once swallowed a whale
But then choked on the tail
And now he himself is dead meat

Written by Jerry T Curtis
Categories: humor,

Peg the Pirate

I once knew a pirate named Meg
The poor girl had only one leg
So I carved a prosthetic  
But it looked so pathetic
That everyone now calls her Peg

Written by Larry Bradfield
Categories: humorous,

A Pirate Named Fred

There was a one-eyed pirate named Fred
Who wanted to reform and get wed
The wench who took his measure
Had got used to the treasure
So she shivered his timbers instead

4-6-19
Contest:Pirate Themed Limerick
Sponsor: Tania Kitchin

Written by Tom Cunningham
Categories: death, humor, sea,

Barnaby the Pirate

A mean peg legged pirate called Barnaby
Was once a great terror out on the sea
He robbed and left many dead
They put a price on his head
He was smart and always managed to flee

The navy got a new ship that was fast
Mean peg legged Barnaby’s luck did not last
Dreaded woodworm ate his peg
Tried to escape on one leg
Navy caught him and hung him from the mast. 


Written on 2nd August 2018
For Carolyn Devonshires limerick contest

Gift for a lady.

Written by Jerry T Curtis
Categories: humor,

Pirate Piercings On Sail

I once knew a pirate name Geer
Thought that prices for piercings were dear
He argued a while
Then agreed with a smile
And said, "I'll pay, buck-n-ear!"

Written by Brian Densham
Categories: funny,

A Pirate Cv

A man in a black patch is yar
And parrots make good mates by gar
With an optional hook
And a dastardly look
Any pirate is bound to go far

April 14, 2019

Written by Pat Adams
Categories: fantasy, funny, word play,

How Old Is That Pirate

Once upon a time a pirate limped by
"How old are you?", I then asked with a sigh
What he said was good
But misunderstood
"Aye matey, you need not know!", his reply

Written by Jerry T Curtis
Categories: humorous,

The Pirate Tucker

A pirate I knew named Tucker
Was quite a gullible sucker
I mixed his rum with a lime
I said " It'll would taste fine"
So now, He’s a drunken old pucker

Written by Tahera Mannan
Categories: funny

The Pirate

Pirate Peter Pan flew over his ship
Among the stars and misty clouds
While Tinker Bell his mistress old
Sat on the deck sunning her skin
And when a ship was sighted afar
The lost boys sharpened their knives anew
He bound and gagged one and all
And made Wendy walk the plank
A terror on seas, but a jolly fellow
Having a harem of tender belles
For whom time and again he’d bellow
And when Captain Hook came to the rescue
Lazy Tinker Bell took him under her wing
He rode on the back of the wind
And high above the blue
This pirate of the Neverland sea
All so very long ago

Written by Andrea Dietrich
Categories: humorous,

Pirate Tad

There once was a pirate named Tad.
At looting he was pretty bad.
When his rowboat he sank,
they said, “Tad, walk the plank..
We’ve no use for the likes of ye, lad!”

April 10, 2019 for the Pirate Themed Limerick Poetry Contest of Tania Kitchin

Written by Gary Smith
Categories: fun, humorous, silly,

The Sweet Toothed Pirate

I sail on an ocean of custard and jam
Aboard a ship made of biscuits and bread,
I am the sweet toothed pirate I am,
And clearly not right in the head.

Nebulous streams clouding my brain
Give me some peculiar thoughts,
I wear a vest made of liquorice sticks,
And a pair of marzipan shorts.

With my motley crew of gingerbread men
Who are armed to the teeth with balloons,
We go round the world kidnapping cakes,
While we gorge on sweet macaroons.










Entry for
YOUR CHOICE LIGHT VERSE ,
Any form,any theme Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Brian Strand.
26/6/2019

Written by Jerry T Curtis
Categories: humor,

She Pirate Thatch

She Pirate Thatch

A one eyed pirate named Thatch 
She couldn't find clothes that would match
As she went through her closet
But found no composite 
So, decided to wear just her patch

Written by Jerry T Curtis
Categories: humor,

She Pirate Thatch 2

(Inspired by and dedicated to my friend Daniel Turner)

Pirate Thatch 2


As I woke up this morning with her
I tried to recall what occurred
Although what lay on the floor
Was a patch nothing more 
I could have swore, she was wearing a fur

Written by Caren Krutsinger
Categories: 3rd grade, 4th grade, 5th grade, 6th grade, 7th grade, 8th grade, humor,

Piggly Wiggly Pirate Notion

I had a dangerously daring piggily wiggly notion
To become a swashbuckler pirate and live in the ocean
Cut off my right leg, replaced it with a peg, hopped toward the sea.
Became a happy buccaneer, slashing other pirates right under the knee.