Humorous and funny Places poems and/or funny poems about Places. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Places funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Places Poems.
JSLambert Mister ROBOTO
allegory, fantasy, father, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, health, hope, husband, imagination, life, love, passion, people, places, romance, social, wife,
There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'
but when it got little
his pills became skittles
until he O.D.'d on Viagra
© ~JSLambert 2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!
august, beach, beautiful, cool, crush, deep, destiny, devotion, fantasy, feelings, first love, fishing, freedom, funny love, future, girlfriend, hope, i love you, i miss you, journey, joy, judgement, lost love, love, love hurts, meaningful, miracle, ocean, people, places, romance, sea, sensual, simple, spiritual, water, women, world,
Don't rush to wash off the sea salt
drying on your skin;
the hopes it carries from other oceans,
those remain yet to be seen.
beach, garden, humorous, nature,
Sun glints off ripples
Play of light in sheltered cove
Backyard full of stars
Footsteps crack on frozen grass
Forested mountain side
Above twisting single track
Over arid land
Falling rain evaporates
Hot Aussie dunny
Sandy beach stretches
Tropical coral waters
Beneath St. Paul’s dome
Lies manicured garden
"I had a sex in places- you could not dream!"
My friend always boasts. And readers:- Pardon me,
Because all people puzzled asking him:-
" About a geography he talks or an anatomy?"
humor, nature, people, places, poetry,
There once was a crude Irish knave
Who hid deep within Fingal’s cave.
He felt it safe there to flee,
Thinking “naught could get to me”
Until swept away by a wave.
In Iceland there’s a Willy museum
It’s not huge like an old Colosseum
Filled with all types of willies
It would give me the sillies
But people pay lots of Kroner to see um!
Inspired by a comment Tom Cunnigham made on my Aurora Borealis poem
The museum has many exhibits of the genitals of animals!
Joseph Spence Sr
adventure, funny, imagination, life, people, places, urban,
It came with a flash upon my back
Caught off guard, suspenders hanging
Madly rushing to find a place so safe
From around the bend with a honk
“Hey watch your steps” was a shout
Horn blowing while in passing
One disgruntled taxi driver glaring
Newspaper umbrella in ruins
Noisy rumbling above from a subway
Heading down the track, clank, clank, clank
Brown dog barking, woof, woof, looking back
Shelter at last, finally found a spot
The rain came down with a heavy shout
Caught shirtless and without shoes
Now sipping coffee listening the blues
Feeling brand new tasting some stew
adventure, angst, confusion, dark, dedication, depression, devotion, education, faith, farewell, funny, humorous, imagination, introspection, lonely, loss, lost, memory, pain, parody, passion, people, places, retirement, sad, science fiction, sorrow, sorry, space, star, teacher, time, travel, tribute, visionary,
Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.
Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.
Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.
Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.
My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.
Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.
adventure, courage, freedom, funny, hate, history, home, hope, humorous, journey, life, lonely, lost, patriotic, peace, people, places, political, space, travel, visionary,
One more alien... an extra terrestrial. Bloody foreigners.
JSLambert Mister ROBOTO
caregiving, childhood, confusion, family, father, children, funny, happiness, holiday, husband, imagination, life, mother, natural disasters, nature, parody, people, places, satire, social, son, teen, wife
***NOTE~TO BE READ WITH A RIDICULOUS "SILKY SOUTHERN DRAWL" (have fun:)***
"Storm over yet...?"
"Well hay'ell ye'ah!
sum'body git me a da'gumm cole beer.
whadda'bou that boy th'er?
sum'body git him'a cole beer too!"
"Diddy! that boy ain't nothin' but 8 years old!"
na'I don't give a jolly'durn, if he ain't nuttin but 8 year'owed!
'dat boy dun' sat him thr'ew a big ol', storm!
torna'durr warnin' too!
he gonna have him'a cole burr;
mama, git him'a cole burr!
ta'days father's day!"
© 2011 ~JSLambert Esquire
funny, people, places,
I am a displaced Scouser,
Who comes from Bootle way,
And no matter where I go,
A Scouser will I stay.
I eat my chips on Butties,
Or perhaps upon a barm,
I get by on old Scouse wit,
And on my Liverpool charm.
But I’ve never owned a tracksuit,
It’s simply not my style,
And I’m not a football maniac,
Or have a police file.
So remember that you can’t believe,
All that people say,
About us lowly Scousers,
Who come from Bootle way.
funny, introspection, places,
In my travels around....
from town to town...
I found sitting next to a tree...
a red truck for sale...
that looked like _ell!
a ford, nineteen fifty-three...
So I knocked on the door...
and wasn't for sure...
if they'd sell it to me...
When they answered the door...
they wanted more...
but I gave them two-fifty, not three...
I got it running at last...
and oh! what a task!
I couldn't wait to set it free...
Yea!! it's really fast...
when I give it the gas...
ask those cops who gave tickets to me!
The body's intact...
just one ding and a whack!!
I'll paint it just wait and see!!!
Joseph Spence Sr
funny, history, imagination, nature, people, places, romanceeve,
Adam was an
And Eve a bubblingly
Adam loved the
Accounting (FIFO) system,
While Eve preferred
The Last-In, First-Out
Inventory (LIFO) system;
Together they testified that
Inventoried sweet fruit
Sits and spoil
nor go to the
depression, friendship, funny, love, nostalgia, places
I raised an Australian dingo,
no name came to mind but Ringo;
he jumped on me,
ripped my clothes daily...
it costed me plenty of money!
Only once I left him alone;
good grief... my furniture was torn!
Oh, should I be mad...
or be kind instead?
I'll sleep over it for tonight!
All Ringo did was run, bark and howl,
mistaking a small cat for an owl;
They took him away
to the zoo today;
he'll whimper form his cage, not rest!
I'll take him back, lest he behaves;
his lesson he'll learn: good manners!
Now, Ringo just stares
to earn forgiveness...
it's fun to play with him and laugh!
adventure, funny, health, people, places, boy,
There once was a young boy called Tim,
Who decided the Mersey to swim,
Got in to his knees,
But started to freeze,
So decided it wasn't for him!
adventure, cowboy-western, education, children, funny, happiness, imagination, inspirational, life, people, pets, philosophy, places, romance, uplifting, visionary,
< once there was a man named trader Joe
could do nothing with hair so let grow
under big coonskin hat
fleas tick and his pet rat
mercantile's just say Oh Hell No
once there was saloon name lucky spur
where traders brought in their hunted furs
in walks old trader Joe
miss Molly said let's go
now both itch scratch from leftover burrs
animals, education, food, funny, imagination, inspirational, life, nature, on work and working, people, places, seasons, visionary
outstretched crows flying frenzy
funny, girl, humor, imagery, jobs, people, places,
Hey barber, give me a shoe and a shine
As he's lathered he feels just fine
Then he views the shoe shiner
Wow, what breasts, nothing finer
My hands on them I wish they were mine
Young lady, let's spend time in a motel room
Get to know each other, vroom vroom
I'm married, och, you'll be fine
I'll pay, say your working overtime
You tell him, the barbers my groom
Challenged to write this based on a joke!
adventure, fantasy, funny, imagination, life, love, people, places, romance, visionary,
< Once was a gal shopped all garage sales
Nuts ~ bolts ~ screws ~ all found in one big pail
Husband said had nice rack
Wife turns ~ gives him.... good smack
Loaded - buckshot - and - boy - did - he .... wail
A Poets Garage Sale
adventure, dedication, fantasy, funny, history, imagination, inspirational, life, people, places, seasons, thank you, uplifting, visionary, work
< once there was a redhead gal name lucy
now skit comes to mind is real juicy
job switching with the men
conveyer belt takes a spin
chocolate oh how did she loosey
Entry For Shani Fassbender's
Favorite Television Show / Episode Remembered
I Chose I Love Lucy
Written By Katherine Stella 7/1/11
adventure, funny, imagination, places, spacewater, water,
Spend your hard-earned cash on fuel for takeoff.
Pray that the government does not find out until gone.
Allow your free time for checking weather, not golf.
Case the local food store for dry goods you can con.
Evaluate your water supply needs, no water in cosmos.
Secure a safe place for waste, body waste floats to easy.
Have welding knowledge, so your stored rocket is close.
Internet may bring suspicion making government queasy.
Plan to go up straight in the air, horizontal rockets scare.
adventure, art, education, funny, imagination, inspirational, mystery, nature, places, science fiction, sea, seasons, uplifting, visionary
at the mouth of cave
aqua insurgent brushstrokes
cry me a river
business, funny, imagination, inspirational, life, people, places, visionary, work,
< once there was a boss we called miss priss
like to give orders with snap of wrist
file fax make coffee
phones radio golly
when not looking I blow her big hiss
food, funny, humor, humorous, places,
I do like European food
Hungary and right in the mood,
I Czech'd the specialty
And Finnished a Turkey -
O'slo I did eat, t'was so good!
Inspired by a pun I read recently
adventure, childhood, dedication, education, fantasy, children, funny, happiness, imagination, inspirational, life, love, people, places, romance, school, thank you, uplifting, visionary, work
< seventh grade third hour spelling teacher
heartbeat is just a silly love beat
On Teacher's LOL