Humorous and funny Prison poems and/or funny poems about Prison. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Prison funny poems!
Written by
Roy Pett
Categories:
funny, prison,
Fabulous Fun Footles
I Love my Mother in law.
Phone rings
Ear stings
Door knocks
Nerve shocks
Come in
Large gin
Be nice
Head lice
Hair gel
Strong smell
Stale wee
Flows free
Stand here
My dear
Trap door
what for
Goodbye
Large sigh
In jail
Good tale.
20/03/2017.
Fabulous fun footles competition.
Sponsored by Jan Allison
Written by
Michael Wise
Categories:
humorous, life, prison,
Robert Mitchum
Young Robert Mitchum
just couldn't ditch 'em
His party down the toilet
when cops came to spoil it
When he then faced the judge
the law wouldn't budge
Sixty days he got
for possession of pot
Written by
Solomon Ochwo-Oburu
Categories:
humorous, prison, satire,
The Barber
harvests all grass
growing in every head, beard
boils it for soup
Written by
Steven Fordyce
Categories:
angst, confusion, depression, freedom, funny, humorous, introspection, life, lonely, lost, memory, metaphor,
My Secret Prison
Trapped again!
Maze hidden cheddar eluding
every twisting turn a doorway
to the path I’ve already forgotten
a spirit broken within each hidden cul-de-sac.
I cry.
Depression building my will
crumbling into fatal despair
that rages with a whisper
as quiet as a hurricane.
I sleep.
I scream at one wall
HA! HA! HA!
hundreds more continue laughing.
Right! Left! NO! RIGHT! Left! Right! LEFT! YES! Right!
I succumb.
Cheddar thoughts and running
water sustain my desire to escape
through walls of scent
filled dreams of freedom.
I laugh.
Test complete. Failure.
Should have smelled for Camembert.
Written by
Rhoda Tripp
Categories:
dark, eulogy, funny, giggle, humor, prison, scary,
Sick, Dark, and Scary Humor
That woman you sext...
Her husband got out early.
Ten years for murder?
Entered in contest for
Brian Strand
2 or 3 line poem.
Written 11/25/17
Written by
Al Juman
Categories:
giggle, humor, imagery, prison, sad, smile, vanity,
Said the Ambiguous Affair
Said the ambiguous affair
Call me,
corral me,
challenge me
into a beautiful affair.
Keeps a grin on even in my alone time.
It's like living the life of a daydreamer,
always there.
Spooky!
Will I regret it?
For God Sake
It's an affair!
These things never ever goes to sleep.
They stay awake
like howling wolves.
Sometimes more so after you die.
© Al. Juman The "said" Poet 7/7/2016
Written by
Randy Johnson
Categories:
funny, humor, prison, drug,
Not Drinking and Driving
Something happened to me a few years ago that was really bizarre.
I was arrested for drinking and driving but I've never owned a car.
I thought that I must have been dreaming, it couldn't possibly be real.
How could I drink and drive when I've never owned an automobile?
I asked the District Attorney if it was a prank or a joke.
Even though I've never had a license, it was revoked.
I hadn't had a drink for a long time, not even one beer.
After I was arrested, the judge sent me to jail for two years.
One year after I got out, something else happened that was just as insane.
Even though I've never touched drugs, I'm in jail for buying cocaine.
(This is a fictional poem.)
Written by
Randy Johnson
Categories:
funny, humor, prison,
Andy Taylor and Barney Fife Become Criminals
One Day Barney Fife was practicing his quick draw.
He accidentally shot Thelma Lou, he broke the law.
Andy had no choice but to put Barney in jail.
But Andy let Barney out when he said he had a crop of marijuana to sell.
Barney offered Andy a fifty-fifty deal.
But Andy wanted it all, he decided to steal.
He shot poor Barney and dumped his body in Myers Lake.
Andy became furious when he learned the marijuana was fake.
The crop of marijuana turned out to be oregano.
Andy was arrested and jail was where he had to go.
Andy will be pounding rocks for the rest of his days.
The Sheriff soon learned that crime doesn't pay.
Written by
Panagiota Romios
Categories:
america, funny, prison,
The Rioteer
The Rioteer
There was a rioteeering lady named Trixie,
Who with folks of her kind liked to mixy.
With bats and rocks she headed out,
To hit an officer in his snout.
She now does time in a jail cell in Dixie!
June 3, 2020
9:15am PST
Poem # 2017
Written by
Lycia Harding
Categories:
funny, prison,
Jail Bird
You spend all the day sneaking about
but you'll pay for each rule you now flout
You can bet that sweet tail,
you're the next cat to jail
and you'll sing like a bird to get out!
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
class, humorous, prison,
Schism
The teacher's feet flew up on the desk,
Striking the class as rather grotesque:
It caused quite a schism,
As she'd just escaped prison!
Was this a school-room or house of burlesque?
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
horse, humorous, prison,
Cletus O'Toole - Horse Thief
Cletus O'Toole in a moment of greed
'Borrowed' the judge's magnificent steed
To steal a horse not his'n
He spent six months in prison
His name e'er stained for that dastardly deed!
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
career, humorous, prison,
'shifty' Lars
He was known by his nickname 'Shifty' Lars
Who specialized in stealing brand-new cars
He'd never get caught
(Or, that's what he thought)
He's now serving ten to life behind bars
Written by
Tina Cavell
Categories:
humor, prison,
if mankind could fly
if mankind could fly then prisons would have to build giant aviaries
Written by
Martin Howard Samuel
Categories:
drink, fun, humorous, prison, silly, word play,
Nick Knack Paddy Whack
Paddy was a hit man
for the Irish Mob
hired to be slick
and do a whack job
but he didn't have the knack
or know the trick
without being caught
and put in the nick
behind bars
but not the sort one might think
where a few jars
may be bought and he did so love a drink
more than one too many
was his undoing
the cause of all
the troubles brewing
and with only one hit
it's really no wonder
he was fired from the gang
for a drunken blunder
as he couldn't quit the whiskey
be it bottle or a flagon
and ended up inside
not on the wagon