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humor, irony, poetry, satire,
On the state of American Poetry- A Non-Poem Poem
I'm Poet Laureate Of Main Street.
They voted. I won.
' came down to me and the kid whose dog craps on everyone's lawns.
His poem was about a missing red crayon.
Mine- the stop sign someone stole from the corner of Elm and Main
(I think I know who did it too).
Is it coincidence both poems are about loss?
Probably not. Poetry is at its best when expressing loss.
He'll probably win the position back next year with a weepy poem about not having been chosen Poet Laureate Of Main Street.
That's fine with me... as long as he keeps that damn dog in his own yard.
I would love to swim to the 'Guilamine' in the skin
Or dance on a carpet of sheer pleasure
I might like an ice-cream cone on the way
Topped with pink and golden treasure.
I would enjoy a drink made of sparkles
That might light up with yellow-red magic
My dreary grey-blue life – and then
I would anticipate with joy an umbrella
Made of silk and maidenhair fern
To be silly with –
animals, funny, nature,
I stepped out on my lawn tonight
To catch a breath or two
Of cool night air when with a blare
An Owl questioned "Who?".
"Well, it is I", was my reply
"And now, just who are you?"
Then in a short he did report
Again with that same "Who".
"You", I said, "Is who", I said
With some authority
"Now who are thee, up in that tree?"
And "Who" again said he.
"Oh! Now I see, when uttered thee
From high up in that tree
'Who' was thy introduction
And not a question be.
So, Who is you and I am me.
I'm glad we talked this out.
Come again my feathered friend
You're welcome here about."
bird, food, holiday, humor, thanksgiving,
I feel a blockage has occurred...
It must have been all that stuffing and Turkey bird...
The gurgles, the rumbling, the passing of gas...
It’s beyond my control ,Oh dear, please let this pass...
We have guests you see...
So I don’t have the privilege to just get up and flee...
No one should ever be in this state...
And I should never have put so much on my plate...
Cause now I’m paying and to my demise ...
The rite of passage has been denied...
I feel like I may blow up and explode...
It’s times like this when you miss the commode...
god, humor, religion,
OH MY GOD!!!
Assemble all the gods we’ve built,
stand them in a line, then walk along
the corridor and ponder which is yours,
which is mine? Dragons, stoics, satyrs,
saints, all stony faced with colored paints.
Some in regal pompous robes others missing
all their clothes. Fierce and sullen, sour faced
one look to put you in your place, kind and
gentle, bended knee promising to set you free.
Ogre sneers on giant cats, fat and sassy spoiled brats.
These are the gods we have created.
Thank God they never met - and mated.
John G. Lawless
Must be the aroma
The smell of my tea
Peach, Berry or Green
No caffeine for me
I drink to unwind
To sit and release
To calm myself down
To set my mind free
Someday to snuggle
My big cup and me
To savor the day
To sit under a tree
To read a good book
To write a love poem
A sip from my cup
Hot tea is the bomb
food, funny, humor, humorous, husband, wife,
“I think I’ll go out,” the husband said.
The wife let it slide for about a half hour.
Then she asked, “Where are you going?”
There was no reply, so she walked into the living room.
He had sneaked out, being careful to make no noise with the latch.
She knew what that meant.
She had him on a strict diet, and a locater application.
She got on her phone and looked at it.
As she suspected he was at the Donut Deli down the road
No doubt eating the things he was never supposed to eat.
He had had so many affairs with sweet, fried things.
She got on her coat, determined to stop him.
dream, feelings, humorous, inspirational love, magic, soulmate, universe,
Where is the magic?
We all start out knowing magic.
We are born with hurricanes
and whirlwinds, oceans
and galaxies inside us.
We are able to sing to birds
and read the clouds
and see the destiny
in grains of sand.
But we have forgotten the magic
and we feel without compass,
alone and desperately,
only selfishness, only pain,
fear and darkness.
But, magic of love has never
disappeared from the life,
the love hold the life.
books, humor, political,
Anna Karenina, by Leo Tolstoy,
approximately 800 redundant pages
of Kafkaesque scoffing
at relentless banalities of economic and political elitists.
Rather like transcribing often inebriated conversations
within the all-night celebration scenes
of a Republican National Party Convention,
Or, sadly, a Democratic National Party Convention
only maybe about 400 condensed
with the remainder quite liberally
and anti-climatically inscrutable
as planned obsolescence
and well-organized chaos.
If my car had a mind of it's own
(Which I think it does sometimes)
It would honk its horn in horror
As the hoodlum disguised a mechanic
Attempted to open its hood
And visit ruthless abuse upon it
It would activate its alarm
Causing alarm and despondency
Its engine would roar menacingly and it
Would keep its hood firmly 'clenched'
Refusing to let this hoodlum lay
His dirty hands on it
Its lights would flash and its siren
Causing the mechanic to run off
In bewilderment unsure how to fix this 'problem'
baseball, humorous, parody,
huddled in confusion
not so mellow drama
The curse preventing
Felix the cat's first act
more chatter accompanies
horrible organ music.
"he walks the bases "
Dinner is served
on T.V. trays
Uncle does not move
He sits on the throne
and white screens
with rabbit ears.
I wait for the final cheers
Of the win, Yes, It’s over
or the Boo's for losers
Baseball, way to ruin
a child's summer.!
funny, philosophy, sound, bird, bird, sound, sun,
A Buddhist bird flies
Under the eyes
Of winter’s sun
As I watch his flight
Across a lonely wintry sky
At his long, long flight south
He diverts himself
From the chilly northern wind
That the sun cannot warm
He diverts himself
With a single thought
As only a Zen Buddhist bird might do
What is the sound
Of one wing flapping?
"the sound of one hand clapping"...(by J. D. Salinger) Thank you Leo
JSLambert Mister ROBOTO
art, funny, happiness, inspirational, life, on work and working, passion, philosophy, school, teen, uplifting,
change my name
fairly often, I suppose
change my clothes
and Imma' damn gypsy, ya' see
keep it fresh ta' death
speck of blood
ketchup on my attire
got more rhymes
than I got grey hairs
that's an effing lot
because i got my share
hot-fire piece of passionate verse
rare to find
if only poets would
unleash the fury
on their mind...
I must say...
the etc. etc...
would be a less stinky place...
I'd keep my name, and sever ties with
and just go
I have a bright smile
And my eyes do twinkle
it's so easy and fun.
to make people wonder
As to what I have done.
Laughter and quick wit
I also possess,
So much pleasure I get
When a smile or a giggle
I do coax.
Just giving some fun
On a Tuesday,
Some ones blues day
But not mine.
beautiful, business, cool, fishing, girl, humor, imagination,
My nails grow longer in the heat,
I like to keep them short, hands and feet,
pedicure and manicure by the girls in Phuket,
they give you more, full service and yet . . . .
I don't need my shoulders or head massaged,
there's a slap on the back as their fingers emerged,
nothing too intimate otherwise I might get ********,
the personal service should be my selection.
Now there's a mask on my face, an extra they say,
don't worry, it's free, you won't have to pay,
I' m not too keen on cucumber, peer over the edge,
shouldn't be so fussy, after all it's a privilege.
I walk out of the shop, spent my last Thai coin,
can't help but notice - there's a swelling in my groin.
I was finding it ''hard myself to stir'' so with inspiration i did confer..
OH!..dang confound..its writers block! so what for an antidote.? i shall
add more stock..! an input of chros, with celer and cede indeed.! that will
really flux the plot i do (soupose:) now...then..verber the radix..when..!
plop..splat.. right! in my eye.! a burning liquid alubi, oh.!bother this
stew will it ever be eytem.?..hold.on a juxta minute..! ceno cogn hibit
vert..! and it..it.. seems to go..! yess i sense more rhythm..with..that..that,
copyright Joe Maverick 2012
amended 29th 2nd 2012
I hate shopping
but when I go shopping
I know what I’m looking for
I go to the right store
I go to the right floor
I grab it
they bag it
and I am out the door
Shopping is an awful chore
birth, health, humanity, humor, math, science,
What's the difference between a regenerative-revolutionary outcome
and an evolutionary process of gradual redevelopment?
whether you are talking to the baby
or to the new mom.
if you talk and empathize with both together,
then probably none.
If 2 times 2 is 4
because each 2 is either or
rather than both and,
then why is 1 times 1 not not 1,
but also 2?
If me and you grow two
because each me and you is either or not me or you
yet also both-and me as appositional you,
then are we not both each 1,
as one appositive (nondual) co-defining pair?
JSLambert Mister ROBOTO
confusion, funny, imagination, satire, teen
"EARLY TONIGHT, according to HEAR SAY, things got PRETTY UGLY when a SINGLE GROUP of HELLS
ANGELS became SIMPLY IMPOSSIBLE to control during an ALL OUT MINOR CATASTROPHE at the
MICROSOFT WORKS sponsored MEXI-CALI JUMBO SHRIMP Festival“.
(in a strange way, this type of wishy-washy lingo reminds me of our lovely National news)
Black and white, in a line
Some are heavy, some are fine
Changing, creeping, cunning
Smoothly, quickly, running
Some are found, some are not
Isn't safe- destroy the lot
Poem written about a manual DOS scan to find Trojan virus ;)
My brain is literally just full of poetry. I mean who the hell writes a poem about a Trojan while their computer is scanning?? Me.
environment, family, humor, science,
Might we be having trouble fusing nuclear energy,
as opposed to the more troubling nuclear fission's anti-energy,
because nuclear fusion is just normal everyday Business As Usual
cooperation of thermodynamically fusing nuclei?
Oh, I see,
like it's easier to notice you're having another nice healthy day
after you experience the divisive holon-caustic implosive alternative?
Like visiting my lovely mother
and not your dreaded mother-in-law.
Zooming down the road
Car running over a toad
Comes speeding granny
Complaining about some Danny
Blasting her music loud
Riding by flipping off a crowd
Grandma got that 16 age inside her
You never could be so sure
Why she's always cursing at a man
Or chasing somebody with that
We just know grandma got them
Chilling with all those Hicks
Getting all her nails done
Bragging about a fight she won
Just know if she's headed your way
Better jump in that pile of hay
She's a wild child
Its crazy granny
What you see is what you get.
When I look in the mirror I see I’ve got it.
Perhaps I’ve got a bit too much of it.
I walk past a store I can see in the window
as he walks along with me he’s got it bad
I am comforted to know I’m not the only one
beautiful, betrayal, engagement, funny love, girlfriend, goodbye, wedding,
Oh sweet bride to be
as the flowers bloom
you snuck to my room
in hopes of a lustful spoon
Groom anxiously awaits
as your father opens the front gates
No one will comprehend our fate
Face to face we engage
Stockings, undergarments and satin lace
on the floor they lay
We embrace and grind away
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happy, happy,
I was going to jump on the bed at midnight
While she slept to wish her a happy birthday.
But she looked so asleep and it was so quiet.
I did it anyway because it's funnier to go through with it.
It's not like I'm throwing a nerf ball at her head.
So I get my knees on the bed and hop up-and-down
And "whisper-yell," "happy birthday happy birthday."
And she's not upset, in fact, she's giggling.
And she whispers to me that she loves me.
I whisper to her that I love her, too.
And I leave the room with the bed
I just jumped and sang on.
And I'm 32.
I mean it's not like I fell off the bed
While jumping and hurt my head.
And made an owie.
I'm not 5.