Humorous and funny Quintain (English) poems and/or funny poems about Quintain (English). Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Quintain (English) funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Quintain (English) Poems.
Caution. Watch your head. This underpass is very low!
Is it one you think you can get under?
Unless you’re blind, it’s something that instinctively a driver ought to know.
So if you drive a great big truck, you’ll know you’ve made a blunder
if coming out the other side, you find your roof from your cab is torn asunder!
Written Oct. 17, 2016 For the Warning Contest of Viv Wigley
Through the glass I spied an old man
And he’s reading his text
With no care and I’m vexed
A long letter...what’s next?
Origami folds into fan…
ABBBA - Mad-Song Stanza/Quintain
Winter's chill is invigorating
Like and electric chair--zap!
Those cold hands make me want to run screaming
Get those icicles away from me!! Oh snap!
Welcome winter, don't last too long, where is my cap?
The blustery wind in less than fifty degrees
Cuts like a knife, injury to injury I say, winter don't stay
High heating bills, charge account is over drawn, PLeeease!
The daylight is short and the sky is gray
Why does it have to get this way??
For Carol Brown(for the contest)
Oh yeah welcome WINTER!
Christmas charge account is over drawn??
I owe what??
A handsome man tall, slim and about 225 pounds,
Asked me out for a seafood dinner on our first date,
Still eats everything fattening, I know how that sounds,
Some twenty-eight years later, I still have a 225 pound mate,
That sucks, I’m not fat ~ just really, really short for my weight.
October 8, 2011
For Nancy Jone’s Contest
“Things That Suck”
Rain has been plentiful lately, the grass is emerald green,
A beautiful lush carpet, thoughts of a Monet it does evoke,
Four acres of rolling land comprises our country scene,
Our home on the hill is partially hidden, not by Ash or Oak,
It’s really quite simple, our josh darn lawnmower’s broke.
Written by Lee Ramage
For Francine Robert’s contest
“One English Quintain”
She had a craving for something sweet
So she got herself a sugar daddy
He gave her all her desired treats
And put them in a caddie
She was his favorite candy
He called her his Sweetie
And bought her diamonds and pearls
They vacationed in Tahiti
Where turqouise waves would swirl
And she would rock his world
Contest : Sweet Or Salty
Sponsor : Andrea Dietrich
humor, philosophy, science,
Amazing some folks don't believe in science
They say that global warming is not real
But in their quest for oil, form an alliance
Because it has the power to reveal
If you're like me, you're thinking, "What a heel!"
I see it in the shop window,
blue straw, white braided trim.
On the back it has a lovely bow.
I buy it on a whim
and don it, sink or swim.
I wear it on the avenue.
I wear it on the street.
So happy in my hat of blue,
I smile at all I meet
and some of them I greet.
The sunshine is so blinding bright,
my eyes begin to blink.
A fellow thinks to his delight,
I am sending him a wink.
A big mistake, I think.
I hurry to my little home,
to one whose waiting there.
I promise him I’ll no more roam.
My blue hat I’ll only wear
for the one for whom I care.
For Favorite Hat contest sponsored by Carol won a 5th in this
It is mighty bizarre hanging here like this
Mom says I have to take it, so the doctor say
Next time I see his hairy face I'll give 'im a hiss
It's no fun just hanging in the closet today
My back IS a whole heap better, yes way!
For the hanging in there contest
Poem by Doris Culverhouse
Inspired by and adorable kitty in overalls hanging in the closet on a hook. Looks like
he lost his best friend yet content eerily.
The cooks in the restaurant found it appalling
how Betty messed up every pie she was baking
and how- from her tripping and falling -
dish after dish Cook Betty kept breaking.
What a spectacle of herself she was making!
Today, however, Betty is relieved
because of how much better she is faring.
All the other cooks are no longer peeved,
for Cook Betty has stopped all her erring
thanks to the new spectacles she's wearing!
(Revision of my previous post, which needed to be a quintain
for Joe Maverick's Contest)
animals, funny, nature
I go to church and say amen once a week
But in my boat and in my spot
I am much more patient, quiet, and meek
I toss my line it’s just the right shot!!
Again, I will say amen as the bass does grin a lot.
Written for contest Anagrammatically Speaking
Ok, it seems I made a bit of a mess
It happened when my lady was on the phone
Ok, so I kind of messed up her new dress
I knew it wasn't good when she started to groan
But really now, to hang me up here all alone?
Barbara Gorelick 8/2/11
Now let me see, what drink do I
Crave most, this has me vexed
What do I order when I’m dry
Oh gosh, I'm so perplexed
I guess the one I’m having next
For the "Pick A
One glass of Merlot makes my innards tingle
Dry wine has a way of making me romantic
Two glasses blur my vision, but I'm eager to mingle
Half a carafe finds my language less than pedantic
No misinterpretation, dwell not on meanings semantic
*Entry for Francine’s “Pick a Beverage, Any Beverage” contest
October 23, 2011 by Carolyn Devonshire
“Food soothes the soul but widens the waist”
A connoisseur of fine dining and fast fry I cannot deny,
All memorable occasions seem to revolve around food,
Tables filled with tender meat, vegetables and homemade pie,
The succulent tastes melt in my mouth and raise my mood,
But my cholesterol and waistline are absolutely screwed!
Written by Lee Ramage
September 9, 2011
For Contest “6 Lines of Poetry, Please”
won 6th place
Dale Gregory Cozart
computer, humor, work,
I, the technologically challenged one,
am surfing the web even as we speak.
I thought computers would be one and done,
but now I find that we must all speak Greek
and learn the ins and out within a week.
This is nothing new; it's gone on for years.
I learned the basic Word and Excel stuff
once upon a time, but none of it clears
a temp agency, it's just not enough.
So in the end I'm playing blind man's bluff.
funny, introspection, lifetime,
One time in the past, I saw a picture of me.
I was a child; I wore a cowboy suit with cowboy hat.
I don’t remember this, but it was still part of history.
There was only, one other time, other than that.
This time I wore, baseball cap and helmet at bat,
I knew early on, my head would be bare eternally.
For my head was too big and also to flat,
Believe me whoever I asked, would definitely agree.
The thing I would use a hat for, would be to swat a gnat.
So I really have no favorite, definitely not, a Top Hat.
Sponsor Carol Brown
Contest Name My Favorite Hat or Bonnet
I've worn many types of headgear
since I was a little kid.
Mostly Golf and Baseball caps,
no matter what I did,
I guess I always wore a "Lid"!
But of all the "Lids" I ever wore,
my favorite - I'll exclaim,
was the Helmet I wore in Viet Nam,
no matter how annoying it became.
It was my favorite just the same.
This winter frost tightens my insides,
A bitter wind tosses my neck.
The toss and tangle of the tides,
We walk within the speck,
Always telling people to "wait a sec."
The window is cracked a few inches open:
I am letting my God receive me.
Do not misunderstand the words that I've spoken.
Simply see what you can see.
You be you, and I'll be me.
*English Quintan contest...winner gets year's worth of english muffins
~Hanging in there is divine,
Feline, representative of wholeness,
Feline of fancy, I remind;
my Overalls be the proof of boldness,
my wall hanging is proof of goal-quest.
~Though proof is faulty at best,
duress not easy for one to concur.
Be patient as I confess;
though overall position hides Monsieur,(my lord)
divine, divinity is clear, ‘bonsoir!(good evening)
This poem is patterned after 2007 Form Challenges
#18 English Quintain
This is a popular form of Quintain having no set measure or foot
and has a rhyming scheme of a. b. a. b. b.
funny, love, parody,
Tainted lovers leave
From sorrow did our souls reply,
To see upon this marital bed
A prickly thorn upon its head.
With shirt,and shoes,and cap
Do take those tender words right back.
For intertwined we could never be
A stitch on true love's tapestry.
For hurried hearts
Doth often hide
Where lustful desires coincide.
Now that the beast lay satisfied
I fear my love for thee hath died.
And all I pray thee take in stride
With this my ultimate,
Hangin' in there is all that I can do
My owner has trapped me, stuck me on a peg
All I was doin' was fun to ensue
Running as fast as I could on my limber leg
Right now I really don't like my owner Meg
Contest: Hangin' In There
Sponsor: Francine Roberts
Written by: Sara Kendrick
Date written: 07, 30-31, 2011
The name is Teresa but they call me Red.
Because of the color on top of my head.
Redheads have a bad temper.
They also cry and whimper.
Nothing for me to dread for being redalicous.
Entered in Namcy Jones's"Make-up a name and write about it"contest
funny, life, time, new year,
The years are picking up speed
This last one just seemed to fly
To old age I soon must concede
But before life passes me by
Hang Gliding I really must try ..
Barbara Gorelick 1/8/12
Happy New Year contest
christmas, humor, kid, love, travel, world, youth,
Christmas is almost here, Santa will bring many toys. The reindeer will stop, for all the good girls and boys.