Humorous and funny Redneck poems and/or funny poems about Redneck. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Redneck funny poems!
Written by
Carolyn Devonshire
Categories:
funny
Dinner On the Redneck Riviera
Cuter than a June bug was Blossom
Bubba's hound had a nose for possum
Bush moved and they watched it shake
Not a possum, dadgum snake
Bubba took aim, results were awesome
Tweren’t the end of Blossom’s era
Sucked out venom; used Aloe Vera
Dinner was finger lickin’
Snake tasted just like chicken
Felt like a Redneck Riviera
*Entry for John Freeman’s limerick contest
Written by
Jslambert Mister Roboto
Categories:
caregiving, childhood, confusion, family, father, children, funny, happiness, holiday, husband, imagination, life, mother, natural disasters, nature, parody, people, places, satire, social, son, teen, wife
Redneck Father's Day------
***NOTE~TO BE READ WITH A RIDICULOUS "SILKY SOUTHERN DRAWL" (have fun:)***
"Storm over yet...?"
"Well hay'ell ye'ah!
woo-hoo!
sum'body git me a da'gumm cole beer.
whadda'bou that boy th'er?
sum'body git him'a cole beer too!"
"Diddy! that boy ain't nothin' but 8 years old!"
"Wha'choo sayin?
wha'th'a?
na'I don't give a jolly'durn, if he ain't nuttin but 8 year'owed!
shoot!
'dat boy dun' sat him thr'ew a big ol', storm!
torna'durr warnin' too!
he gonna have him'a cole burr;
on me!"
my treat!
mama, git him'a cole burr!
ro'tt now;
ya'here?
besides...
ta'days father's day!"
© 2011 ~JSLambert Esquire
Written by
Arlene Smith
Categories:
funny, funny love, valentines day,
Redneck Valentine
You melt my butter.
You sop my gravy.
There is no other
like my redneck baby.
You're the frost on my mug;
the salt on my pretzel.
You really squish my mud.
You're the one I want to wrestle.
But if faithful, you're not,
or you be loose and fast;
not Cupid's arrow shot,
but mine, in your ***!
Love, Arlene
Written by
Eve Roper
Categories:
car, humorous,
Redneck Car-Limerick Contest Ii - For Fun
Redneck Car
my redneck car is no junk
eight cylinders, what a hunk
beer cans over the floor
to enter there’s no door
the back seat is sometimes my bunk
2/18/2016
Poetry Contest: LIMERICK CONTEST II - FOR FUN
Sponsored by: JAN ALLISON
Written by
Lawrence Ingle
Categories:
funny,
Redneck Red Rhyme
RED ON THE HEAD,
LIKE A WEENIE ON A DOG,
LIKE A NOODLE ON A POODLE,
LIKE KETCHUP ON A LOG,
Written by
Rhoda Tripp
Categories:
crazy, dance, drink, humor, humorous, nonsense, satire,
Hillbilly Redneck Sonnet
This redneck is fixin' to go dancin'
You reckon we get gussied up and go?
I'll be a high flutin' and a prancin'
Is the honky-tonk puttin' on a show?
Shall I wear my fanciest clod hoppers?
Shall I phone all your fiddle playin' kin?
I am gonna be such a show stopper.
We shall enter the dance contest and win.
I've got a hankerin' for hot romance,
And some granny-slappin' hillbilly sex.
Bear ten younguns, live in 'ternity pants
Did you just skedaddle, my newest ex?
Dern it, Darlin', thought we were so well matched.
I counted my chickens before they hatched!
Written 3/2/2017
Entered in Mid December Premiere
Hosted by Brian Strand
Written by
Brenda Mcgrath
Categories:
desire, funny, love, relationship,
These Redneck Guys In Georgia
I’m not a redneck, but in Georgia I attract them like flies.
They all have the best pickup truck that money can buy.
With heavy southern accents, they lay their line on thick.
Calling me honey and sweetie, which is refreshing to this city chick.
I don’t need a lot of money from the guy I choose,
I only ask for love and respect, and no short fuse.
I’m looking for someone to make my passion ignite when we kiss,
So these redneck guys in Georgia, I will not dismiss.
Written by
Drjim Martin
Categories:
funny,
They Call Me Redneck
They Call Me Redneck
Dr. James E. Martin
©October, 2013
They call me redneck because I'm a simple guy
It's perfectly okay but I wonder why.
Is it so wrong to not just go along?
Is this really so terribly wrong?
I do not support the modern crowd
This message I proclaim very loud!
Call me redneck if you must
If this is your idea of what is just.
We simple folk do not really care
That our lifestyles do not compare.
You are proud of yours beyond dispute
Don't expect that ours we'll ever refute!!
Written by
Mark Koplin
Categories:
humorous,
The Redneck Reindeer
Rudolph had a brother, a redneck deer named Bart.
His nose only glowed when he would sneeze or fart.
Rudolph got sick; Santa had to call on his brother.
Bart came with pepper in one hoof and a can of beans in the other.
12/24/21
A Funny Christmas Themed 4 Liner Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Tania Kitchin
Written by
Kevin Fix
Categories:
funny
Redneck Love Poem
From the moment you moved
your trailer next to mine
I knew there was something
to love at first sight
Your tooth on the left,
mine on the right
Both yellow from dipping
I found me a partner
to spit with for life
With a belly that hangs
passed your knees ,we're a match
I know what it's like
to have an itch you can't scratch
If you shave my back
Then I'll pluck your chins
And I'll buy you a shirt
that covers your stretch marks,
from having twleve kids
If that ain't love
Then I don't know what is
Kevin Fix
Written by
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
Categories:
funny
My Redneck Truck
My Redneck Truck
I love to ride around in my redneck truck
Even though I do not hunt rabbit, duck, or buck,
It makes me feel great when life goes a-muck.
And when I am enamored or by nature, moonstruck.
An ordinary truck somewhat knocked around.
No longer has a bumper, headlight lost, not found.
It never has complaints, no, not one sound.
That is why we take it when we go to town.
The AC might be broken but the windows work.
Sometimes my hair blows wildly, just one quirk.
I laugh so loud some people think I’ve gone berserk.
Always overjoyed because it beats legwork.
© August 3, 2010
Dane Smith-Johnsen
Written by
Mark Koplin
Categories:
humor,
Redneck Nursery Rhymes
Will the King’s horses or any of his men?
Ever stack those turds that high again.
A tit for a tat and Rooty Toot Toot.
The rats always follow the piper and flute.
Old mother Hubbard was all out of bones.
So, Rover took off to find a new home.
Little Miss Muffet with her bowl slightly turned.
Blows on her soup so she doesn’t get burned.
Now what’s in that hat? Could it be bearing claws?
Or is it just that old elf taking a short pause.
Redneck Rhymes are sure fun to find.
You can polish a turd but those three mice are still blind.