Funny Poems About Religion or Religion Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Religion poems and/or funny poems about Religion. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Religion funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Religion Poems.

Poem Details | by Mark J. Halliday |
Categories: chocolate, holiday, humorous, religion, valentines day,


Not much is known about him,
But all girls love him.

Saint Valentine's Feast,
On February fourteenth:
Mostly chocolates!

It would make more sense
To honor Aphrodite...
So then, why don't we?!

Poem Details | by Tomas Vazquez |
Categories: adventure, easter, fear, funny, nonsense, religion,

Twas the Night Before Easter

He knows if you are sleeping,
He knows when you're awake,
He knows if you've been bad or good.
Zombie Jesus must be staked!

So eat your crackers and wine,
And think that you'll be saved,
But that's not why he's here because
Your brains are what he craves!

He'll never stop his rampage.
Not until he's fully fed,
But nothing satisfies his hunger
Like what rattles in your head.

He's coming down the chimney.
He's underneath your bed.
You think you can outrun him,
But soon you will be dead.

So you better not whisper,
You better not cry
Cuz even a shot between his eyes
Won't stop Zombie Jesus, tonight..

Poem Details | by Timothy Hicks |
Categories: faith, fun, funny, humorous, religion,

Holy Humor

Jehovah's Witness' Door Pamphlets


Catholic Church During Halloween


Scrabble Night With Missionaries


Preacher Owning at Dungeons & Dragons


Our Holiness the Dalai Getting a Text From His Ex


Sea Anemone Makes Amends


Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: funny, religion,

The Hereafter

He asked his flock if they believed in the Hereafter

     Amen, pastor, they said amid much joy and laughter!

          Hereafter, when the plate is passed

               I expect it to be filled up fast

                    For some reason chapel attendance plunged thereafter

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Poem Details | by John Lawless |
Categories: god, humor, religion,

Oh My God


Assemble all the gods we’ve built,
stand them in a line, then walk along
the corridor and ponder which is yours,
which is mine?  Dragons, stoics, satyrs,
saints, all stony faced with colored paints.
Some in regal pompous robes others missing
all their clothes.  Fierce and sullen, sour faced
one look to put you in your place, kind and
gentle, bended knee promising to set you free.
Ogre sneers on giant cats, fat and sassy spoiled brats.
These are the gods we have created.
Thank God they never met - and mated.

John G. Lawless

Poem Details | by Paula Goldsmith |
Categories: humor, inspiration, love, magic, nonsense, religion, romance,


Today I write just for you
My soul wants you to feel great not blue
The ink in my veins write so true
Date Written: 7/6/2021
4 Place
Bite Size Poem no 11 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Line Gauthier

Poem Details | by Paula Goldsmith |
Categories: angel, blessing, fire, humor, religion, uplifting, words,

Featherless Angels

How did you become featherless
Angels are always blessed and do bless
Standing too close to the fire
Devil got me in a crossfire
Make sure you always tell God yes

Poem Details | by Anthony Beck |
Categories: allusion, humorous, mythology, religion,


A total whatchamacallit, That absolute kinda deal; We'll never know what it looks like, Nor how it might taste or feel. But we'll always recognize it The minute it's not in sight. And if you say you're skeptical, A brouhaha you'll ignite.

Poem Details | by Colm Sweeney |
Categories: humorous, religion,

Nano Nagle

Sister Nano Nagle,
Always carried a bagel,
She fed to a rabbit,
Kept under her habit.

Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: allah, angel, angst, courage, dream, education, faith, fantasy, fear, funny, god, heaven, history, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, jesus, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, love, miracle, mystery, nostalgia, on work and working, parody, passion, peace, people, philosophy, political, prayer, recovery from..., religion, religious, spiritual, stress, success, sympathy, teacher, time, write,

Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?

Poem Details | by John Williams |
Categories: funny, religion,

Needy Pastor

The pastor was feeling quite blue,
       Pennies on his plate were few,
       So he gave a blazing rendition
     On the church's tithing tradition
 And the pennies on his plate soon grew.

Poem Details | by Rudolph Rinaldi |
Categories: humor, religion,

If I Go To Heaven

If I go 
to heaven,
then what?

Poem Details | by Mike Dailey |
Categories: angst, funny, health, nature, religion, satire, wifeme, me,

Menopause Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord for no more heat
For if it comes, I’ll be awake
I pray the Lord, don’t make me bake

I’ll even get down on my knees
And pray the Lord “Lord, pretty please”
Please don’t turn my furnace on
My flesh is weak, my patience’s gone

I haven’t had a good night’s sleep 
Since menopause turned on the heat
And it’s no good Lord, counting sheep
If into fire, Lord they leap

So Lord, please grant me this request
And take this fire from my chest
Let someone else be thusly blessed
And let me finally get some rest

Short Poem contest - Honorable Mention finish

written for my wife

Poem Details | by Colm Sweeney |
Categories: humorous, religion,

Mother Teresa

Mother Teresa of Calcutta,
Was a bit of a nutter,
She upset the slums, 
When playing the drums.

Poem Details | by Colm Sweeney |
Categories: humorous, religion,

Sister Mary Ward

Sister Mary Ward
Prayed to the Lord,
"Let me leave this ghetto,
And set up Loreto."

Poem Details | by Rudolph Rinaldi |
Categories: food, kids, funny, god, philosophy, religion, science,

The Newton Epitaph

Had a fig Newton 
Dropped it on the floor
God said, Let Newton be! 
And all was right.
Until the Ants

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: humorous, prejudice, religion,

The Gay Bishop

When out for a walk yesterday I bumped into our local padre He wears rainbow dog collars Looks a million dollars He is proud to admit he is gay! 01~14~17 Fiction write which was Inspired by reading about a gay bishop in the UK

Poem Details | by Rudolph Rinaldi |
Categories: car, fun, funny, life, religion, religious,

A Better Warranty

If priests sold used cars and
Used car salesmen sold heaven’s land 
Would you get a better warranty of faith -
In hand

Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: humorous, religion,

Limerick: Once a Meat-Vendor In Mylapur

Limerick: Once a Meat-Vendor in Mylapur

Once a Meat-Vendor in Mylapur*
Set up shop (O!) Brahmin virtue pure
No hungry customers
Knocked past the front shutters
Though brisk business raged at rear door.

•	Brahmin enclave in Chennai, Tamil-Nadu, India.
Brahmins were not vegetarians from antiquity.

© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: faith, funny, humorous, religion,

The Gun and God Combo

"The peacemaker" is Glock's new gun
Its spent rounds are rapture and fun
Yes killing's a thrill
Since I'm mentally ill 
And need to own more than just one

A gun for me is like prozac
The bullets clipped pills in a stack
I'm not paranoid
But have weapons deployed
In case I should have an attack

Poem Details | by Paul Schneiter |
Categories: humor, religion,


James was his church’s  bell ringer
Some would listen and linger.
To make the bell louder
James became stouter.
Now he’s known as a real humdinger.

Poem Details | by Stanley Ohlswager |
Categories: bible, humanity, humor, religion, satire,


In Deuteronomy
Couldn’t deal with masculinity;
Couldn’t deal with femininity, 
So he settled on 

Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: heaven, humor, religion, boy,

The Cowboy and Beelzebub

Off to the Church this Cowboy went For Sunday to him was Heaven sent But as he took to his pew Suddenly into their view Beelzebub, he, now present Imagine the screaming now starting To the exits they're simply departing But this Cowboy remains Against Beelzebub's deign Oh the odours of the leaving farting To the Cowboy, Beelzebub says In a broken down language display Are you frightened of me Am I stronger than thee Not really, who do you think you portray For Satan I am, but you never have fears No matter what I say, leaves you no tears So simply, what can it be That your not scared of thee I've been married to your sister for years .

Poem Details | by Paul Curtis |
Categories: funny, religion,

The Widows Mite

The Vicar’s sermon 
Frank and forthright
Raised the question
Of the widows mite

Quite unnecessary
In my humble view
Because in our parish
There are only two
And I know for a fact
That they both do

Poem Details | by Paul Schneiter |
Categories: humor, religion,

Quick Cleric

There was a pastor named Caste
Whose habit of swearing was vast.
Some said his firing was near
But Caste cited nothing to fear
“You see, I repent too _____ fast.”