Humorous and funny Religion poems and/or funny poems about Religion. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Religion funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Religion Poems.
Mark J. Halliday
chocolate, holiday, humorous, religion, valentines day,
Not much is known about him,
But all girls love him.
Saint Valentine's Feast,
On February fourteenth:
It would make more sense
To honor Aphrodite...
So then, why don't we?!
adventure, easter, fear, funny, nonsense, religion,
He knows if you are sleeping,
He knows when you're awake,
He knows if you've been bad or good.
Zombie Jesus must be staked!
So eat your crackers and wine,
And think that you'll be saved,
But that's not why he's here because
Your brains are what he craves!
He'll never stop his rampage.
Not until he's fully fed,
But nothing satisfies his hunger
Like what rattles in your head.
He's coming down the chimney.
He's underneath your bed.
You think you can outrun him,
But soon you will be dead.
So you better not whisper,
You better not cry
Cuz even a shot between his eyes
Won't stop Zombie Jesus, tonight..
faith, fun, funny, humorous, religion,
Jehovah's Witness' Door Pamphlets
Catholic Church During Halloween
Scrabble Night With Missionaries
Preacher Owning at Dungeons & Dragons
Our Holiness the Dalai Getting a Text From His Ex
Sea Anemone Makes Amends
Robert L. Hinshaw
He asked his flock if they believed in the Hereafter
Amen, pastor, they said amid much joy and laughter!
Hereafter, when the plate is passed
I expect it to be filled up fast
For some reason chapel attendance plunged thereafter
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
god, humor, religion,
OH MY GOD!!!
Assemble all the gods we’ve built,
stand them in a line, then walk along
the corridor and ponder which is yours,
which is mine? Dragons, stoics, satyrs,
saints, all stony faced with colored paints.
Some in regal pompous robes others missing
all their clothes. Fierce and sullen, sour faced
one look to put you in your place, kind and
gentle, bended knee promising to set you free.
Ogre sneers on giant cats, fat and sassy spoiled brats.
These are the gods we have created.
Thank God they never met - and mated.
John G. Lawless
Sister Nano Nagle,
Always carried a bagel,
She fed to a rabbit,
Kept under her habit.
The pastor was feeling quite blue,
Pennies on his plate were few,
So he gave a blazing rendition
On the church's tithing tradition
And the pennies on his plate soon grew.
allah, angel, angst, courage, dream, education, faith, fantasy, fear, funny, god, heaven, history, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, jesus, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, love, miracle, mystery, nostalgia, on work and working, parody, passion, peace, people, philosophy, political, prayer, recovery from..., religion, religious, spiritual, stress, success, sympathy, teacher, time, write,
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?
If I go
food, kids, funny, god, philosophy, religion, science,
Had a fig Newton
Dropped it on the floor
God said, Let Newton be!
And all was right.
Until the Ants
Mother Teresa of Calcutta,
Was a bit of a nutter,
She upset the slums,
When playing the drums.
Sister Mary Ward
Prayed to the Lord,
"Let me leave this ghetto,
And set up Loreto."
car, fun, funny, life, religion, religious,
If priests sold used cars and
Used car salesmen sold heaven’s land
Would you get a better warranty of faith -
angst, funny, health, nature, religion, satire, wifeme, me,
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord for no more heat
For if it comes, I’ll be awake
I pray the Lord, don’t make me bake
I’ll even get down on my knees
And pray the Lord “Lord, pretty please”
Please don’t turn my furnace on
My flesh is weak, my patience’s gone
I haven’t had a good night’s sleep
Since menopause turned on the heat
And it’s no good Lord, counting sheep
If into fire, Lord they leap
So Lord, please grant me this request
And take this fire from my chest
Let someone else be thusly blessed
And let me finally get some rest
Short Poem contest - Honorable Mention finish
written for my wife
James was his church’s bell ringer
Some would listen and linger.
To make the bell louder
James became stouter.
Now he’s known as a real humdinger.
faith, funny, humorous, religion,
"The peacemaker" is Glock's new gun
Its spent rounds are rapture and fun
Yes killing's a thrill
Since I'm mentally ill
And need to own more than just one
A gun for me is like prozac
The bullets clipped pills in a stack
I'm not paranoid
But have weapons deployed
In case I should have an attack
Limerick: Once a Meat-Vendor in Mylapur
Once a Meat-Vendor in Mylapur*
Set up shop (O!) Brahmin virtue pure
No hungry customers
Knocked past the front shutters
Though brisk business raged at rear door.
• Brahmin enclave in Chennai, Tamil-Nadu, India.
Brahmins were not vegetarians from antiquity.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
There was a pastor named Caste
Whose habit of swearing was vast.
Some said his firing was near
But Caste cited nothing to fear
“You see, I repent too _____ fast.”
humorous, prejudice, religion,
When out for a walk yesterday
I bumped into our local padre
He wears rainbow dog collars
Looks a million dollars
He is proud to admit he is gay!
Fiction write which was
Inspired by reading about a gay bishop in the UK
bible, humanity, humor, religion, satire,
Couldn’t deal with masculinity;
Couldn’t deal with femininity,
So he settled on
encouraging, farewell, funny, philosophy, religion,
My parting words, which I'll keep quite brief
Never mock another's religious belief
Whether Christian or Muslim, Buddhist or Jew
Only people, not God, would wish harm upon you.
My second point that's of no less worth:
Cherish every living creature ever put on this earth.
Bring no harm to plants, to wildlife or to man,
Live as peacefully coexistent as you possibly can.
And finally, God witness, I share my true Creed,
Which took me a lifetime to consistently heed.
Whenever you seem to do naught but to lose,
Tis time for a binge with both liquor and shoes!!!
First place in contest: "My Parting Gifts"
The Vicar’s sermon
Frank and forthright
Raised the question
Of the widows mite
In my humble view
Because in our parish
There are only two
And I know for a fact
That they both do
There was a bishop whose sermons were boring
Seven hours long made members begin snoring.
The bishop took offense
But he had no defense.
Busted bladders had warped all the flooring.
appreciation, character, faith, hero, how i feel, humorous, religion,
Philippine national hero, Jose Rizal is multi-talented
What he wrought as leader, linguist, eye doctor, and novelist can't be counted
Along comments about his religious convictions and faith*-tenacity
Besides his affairs with varied ladies of pleasing personality.
1Peter 1:5 Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
January 25, 2019
4th place, "Educate Me with Humor - Leader Clerihew" Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Andrea Dietrich; judged on 2/3/2019.
heaven, humor, religion, boy,
Off to the Church this Cowboy went
For Sunday to him was Heaven sent
But as he took to his pew
Suddenly into their view
Beelzebub, he, now present
Imagine the screaming now starting
To the exits they're simply departing
But this Cowboy remains
Against Beelzebub's deign
Oh the odours of the leaving farting
To the Cowboy, Beelzebub says
In a broken down language display
Are you frightened of me
Am I stronger than thee
Not really, who do you think you portray
For Satan I am, but you never have fears
No matter what I say, leaves you no tears
So simply, what can it be
That your not scared of thee
I've been married to your sister for years