Humorous and funny Religion poems and/or funny poems about Religion. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Religion funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Religion Poems.
Poem Details | by
Mark J. Halliday |
Categories:
chocolate, holiday, humorous, religion, valentines day,
Valentinius--
Not much is known about him,
But all girls love him.
Saint Valentine's Feast,
On February fourteenth:
Mostly chocolates!
It would make more sense
To honor Aphrodite...
So then, why don't we?!
Poem Details | by
Tomas Vazquez |
Categories:
adventure, easter, fear, funny, nonsense, religion,
He knows if you are sleeping,
He knows when you're awake,
He knows if you've been bad or good.
Zombie Jesus must be staked!
So eat your crackers and wine,
And think that you'll be saved,
But that's not why he's here because
Your brains are what he craves!
He'll never stop his rampage.
Not until he's fully fed,
But nothing satisfies his hunger
Like what rattles in your head.
He's coming down the chimney.
He's underneath your bed.
You think you can outrun him,
But soon you will be dead.
So you better not whisper,
You better not cry
Cuz even a shot between his eyes
Won't stop Zombie Jesus, tonight..
Poem Details | by
Timothy Hicks |
Categories:
faith, fun, funny, humorous, religion,
Jehovah's Witness' Door Pamphlets
Pious
Fly-ahs
Catholic Church During Halloween
Scary
Mary
Scrabble Night With Missionaries
Wordy
Clergy
Preacher Owning at Dungeons & Dragons
Master
Pastor
Our Holiness the Dalai Getting a Text From His Ex
Lama
Drama
Sea Anemone Makes Amends
Moral
Coral
Poem Details | by
Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories:
funny, religion,
He asked his flock if they believed in the Hereafter
Amen, pastor, they said amid much joy and laughter!
Hereafter, when the plate is passed
I expect it to be filled up fast
For some reason chapel attendance plunged thereafter
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Poem Details | by
John Lawless |
Categories:
god, humor, religion,
OH MY GOD!!!
Assemble all the gods we’ve built,
stand them in a line, then walk along
the corridor and ponder which is yours,
which is mine? Dragons, stoics, satyrs,
saints, all stony faced with colored paints.
Some in regal pompous robes others missing
all their clothes. Fierce and sullen, sour faced
one look to put you in your place, kind and
gentle, bended knee promising to set you free.
Ogre sneers on giant cats, fat and sassy spoiled brats.
These are the gods we have created.
Thank God they never met - and mated.
John G. Lawless
Poem Details | by
Paula Goldsmith |
Categories:
humor, inspiration, love, magic, nonsense, religion, romance,
Today I write just for you My soul wants you to feel great not blue The ink in my veins write so true
Date Written: 7/6/2021
4 Place
Bite Size Poem no 11 Poetry Contest Sponsored by: Line Gauthier
Poem Details | by
Paula Goldsmith |
Categories:
angel, blessing, fire, humor, religion, uplifting, words,
How did you become featherless
Angels are always blessed and do bless
Standing too close to the fire
Devil got me in a crossfire
Make sure you always tell God yes
Poem Details | by
Anthony Beck |
Categories:
allusion, humorous, mythology, religion,
A total whatchamacallit,
That absolute kinda deal;
We'll never know what it looks like,
Nor how it might taste or feel.
But we'll always recognize it
The minute it's not in sight.
And if you say you're skeptical,
A brouhaha you'll ignite.
Poem Details | by
Colm Sweeney |
Categories:
humorous, religion,
Sister Nano Nagle,
Always carried a bagel,
She fed to a rabbit,
Kept under her habit.
Poem Details | by
Dan Keir |
Categories:
allah, angel, angst, courage, dream, education, faith, fantasy, fear, funny, god, heaven, history, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, jesus, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, love, miracle, mystery, nostalgia, on work and working, parody, passion, peace, people, philosophy, political, prayer, recovery from..., religion, religious, spiritual, stress, success, sympathy, teacher, time, write,
Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?
Poem Details | by
John Williams |
Categories:
funny, religion,
The pastor was feeling quite blue,
Pennies on his plate were few,
So he gave a blazing rendition
On the church's tithing tradition
And the pennies on his plate soon grew.
Poem Details | by
Rudolph Rinaldi |
Categories:
humor, religion,
If I go
to heaven,
then what?
Poem Details | by
Mike Dailey |
Categories:
angst, funny, health, nature, religion, satire, wifeme, me,
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord for no more heat
For if it comes, I’ll be awake
I pray the Lord, don’t make me bake
I’ll even get down on my knees
And pray the Lord “Lord, pretty please”
Please don’t turn my furnace on
My flesh is weak, my patience’s gone
I haven’t had a good night’s sleep
Since menopause turned on the heat
And it’s no good Lord, counting sheep
If into fire, Lord they leap
So Lord, please grant me this request
And take this fire from my chest
Let someone else be thusly blessed
And let me finally get some rest
Short Poem contest - Honorable Mention finish
Mdailey
written for my wife
Poem Details | by
Colm Sweeney |
Categories:
humorous, religion,
Mother Teresa of Calcutta,
Was a bit of a nutter,
She upset the slums,
When playing the drums.
Poem Details | by
Colm Sweeney |
Categories:
humorous, religion,
Sister Mary Ward
Prayed to the Lord,
"Let me leave this ghetto,
And set up Loreto."
Poem Details | by
Rudolph Rinaldi |
Categories:
food, kids, funny, god, philosophy, religion, science,
Had a fig Newton
Dropped it on the floor
God said, Let Newton be!
And all was right.
Until the Ants
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
humorous, prejudice, religion,
When out for a walk yesterday
I bumped into our local padre
He wears rainbow dog collars
Looks a million dollars
He is proud to admit he is gay!
01~14~17
Fiction write which was
Inspired by reading about a gay bishop in the UK
Poem Details | by
Rudolph Rinaldi |
Categories:
car, fun, funny, life, religion, religious,
If priests sold used cars and
Used car salesmen sold heaven’s land
Would you get a better warranty of faith -
In hand
Poem Details | by
T Wignesan |
Categories:
humorous, religion,
Limerick: Once a Meat-Vendor in Mylapur
Once a Meat-Vendor in Mylapur*
Set up shop (O!) Brahmin virtue pure
No hungry customers
Knocked past the front shutters
Though brisk business raged at rear door.
• Brahmin enclave in Chennai, Tamil-Nadu, India.
Brahmins were not vegetarians from antiquity.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
Poem Details | by
Duke Beaufort |
Categories:
faith, funny, humorous, religion,
"The peacemaker" is Glock's new gun
Its spent rounds are rapture and fun
Yes killing's a thrill
Since I'm mentally ill
And need to own more than just one
A gun for me is like prozac
The bullets clipped pills in a stack
I'm not paranoid
But have weapons deployed
In case I should have an attack
Poem Details | by
Paul Schneiter |
Categories:
humor, religion,
James was his church’s bell ringer
Some would listen and linger.
To make the bell louder
James became stouter.
Now he’s known as a real humdinger.
Poem Details | by
Stanley Ohlswager |
Categories:
bible, humanity, humor, religion, satire,
Moses
In Deuteronomy
Couldn’t deal with masculinity;
Couldn’t deal with femininity,
So he settled on
Neuteronomy
Poem Details | by
James Fraser |
Categories:
heaven, humor, religion, boy,
Off to the Church this Cowboy went
For Sunday to him was Heaven sent
But as he took to his pew
Suddenly into their view
Beelzebub, he, now present
Imagine the screaming now starting
To the exits they're simply departing
But this Cowboy remains
Against Beelzebub's deign
Oh the odours of the leaving farting
To the Cowboy, Beelzebub says
In a broken down language display
Are you frightened of me
Am I stronger than thee
Not really, who do you think you portray
For Satan I am, but you never have fears
No matter what I say, leaves you no tears
So simply, what can it be
That your not scared of thee
I've been married to your sister for years
.
Poem Details | by
Paul Schneiter |
Categories:
humor, religion,
There was a pastor named Caste
Whose habit of swearing was vast.
Some said his firing was near
But Caste cited nothing to fear
“You see, I repent too _____ fast.”
Poem Details | by
Paul Curtis |
Categories:
funny, religion,
The Vicar’s sermon
Frank and forthright
Raised the question
Of the widows mite
Quite unnecessary
In my humble view
Because in our parish
There are only two
And I know for a fact
That they both do