Humorous and funny Religious poems and/or funny poems about Religious. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Religious funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Religious Poems.
funny, god, love, religious,
Some attend church to be seen, and wear their new clothes,
While others sit on their pew and silently doze.
During the service a few will check their cell phone,
With messages they just can’t seem to postpone.
Some men darken the church door out of fear,
Because if they don’t their spouse won’t let them near.
There are those that go to church because it is fun,
They like to see their friends, and talk to everyone.
Music lovers go to church because they love to sing,
And others wait for the sermon the preacher will bring.
Whatever your reason, God is watching from above.
He knows your true heart, and is full of love.
allah, angel, angst, confusion, dream, education, faith, freedom, god, happiness, health, heaven, history, holocaust, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, jesus, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, miracle, nature, on writing and words, pain, peace, people, philosophy, political, prayer, recovery from..., religious, sad, spiritual, stress, success, sympathy, teacher, time, write,
Beauty of nature
Why condense it down to God?
Isn’t life enough?
allah, angel, angst, courage, dream, education, faith, fantasy, fear, funny, god, heaven, history, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, jesus, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, love, miracle, mystery, nostalgia, on work and working, parody, passion, peace, people, philosophy, political, prayer, recovery from..., religion, religious, spiritual, stress, success, sympathy, teacher, time, write,
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?
forgiveness, fun, funny, hilarious, life, religious,
I pass gas
stand silently still
and look up straight
Loch David Crane
funny, god, irony, religious, spiritual, , atheist,
Three Atheist limericks
for April Fools' Day 2006
Dear Mrs. Schiavo: Goodbye.
Dear Mrs. Schiavo: Goodbye.
Fifteen years was a long time to die.
Your husband was brave
To withstand the wave
Of inedible pie in the sky.
Why San Diegans remove Crosses from public Land
The SD City Council must hold strong:
Those mountaintop Christians are wrong.
Crucifixion's the sign
Of insensitive minds
Not the Native Americans' song.
Dear Judeo-Christian God:
Your behavior's exceedingly odd.
You let Hitler misbehave
Then killed thousands with waves
And can't keep your priests' hands off kids' bods!
child, funny, humorous, prayer, religious, science, science fiction, space,
Don’t worry now child
There's no god, so worship space
You are not alone.
car, fun, funny, life, religion, religious,
If priests sold used cars and
Used car salesmen sold heaven’s land
Would you get a better warranty of faith -
betrayal, bible, character, conflict, easter, faith, farewell, giggle, history, paradise, people, power, psychological, religious, sorry, storm, travel, tribute, trust, women,
Taking sides in discussions holily
About whether Uran used his willy
Means you're trapped in their game -
Either side is the same:
**** distracts, cash departs, crowd stays silly.
The National Poet Of Slovenia In A Language People Understand interprets important Slovenian affairs for the non-Slovene speaking world.
Betty Harp Butler
humorous, prayer, religious, sleep,
I have a secret that is very simple.
I’ll share it with you if I may.
When you can’t sleep,
Don’t count sheep.
Pray for those you love,
And those who don’t love you.
Pray for your friends,
And for your enemies too.
Pray for your family-
All of them, not just one or two.
Pray for everyone who is sick, hurting, or lost.
And when you feel you are through,
Pray for you.
christian, dad, father, humorous, religious,
She was a Preacher’s daughter and a little Georgia peach,
With a slow southern drawl in her unassuming speech.
Blonde hair, blue eyes, and a shape that caught the eye,
Which made her God-fearing father just want to sigh…
He preached in his sermons to turn the other cheek,
But she had to conquer an unrelenting stubborn streak.
“Stay on the straight and narrow,” her Dad warned her with a frown.
“God is watching up there… you don’t want to let Him down.”
funny, god, humorous, on writing and words, religious, spiritual,
Subject of poor poetry
Just like this one. Damn.
Lexmilian de Mello
history, humor, inspiration, peace, people, philosophy, political, religion, religious, romance, social, society, words,
The generous seas do roam vividly,
And sacred words spoken earnestly.
People suffer and people go to war,
I just hope these words will go afar.
Yesterday I published a FREE book,
Indeed a feat of altruism, no crook!
I suffer in silence in every moment.
I have no money to publish a stunt.
I was just hoping for word-of-mouth
And email propagation as loudmouth.
Book is at: http://bookbooster.com/newage.htm
I accept feedback just at: firstname.lastname@example.org
OFFICIALLY THE MOST ELOQUENT STORY TELLING POETRY BOOK EVER WRITTEN
-ALL NON FICTION- (This spiel typed in the spur of the moment - God Bless you)
childhood, family, humorous, religious, silly,
We were preacher’s kids in a little Georgia town,
And knew more Bible verses than anyone around.
It was hell, fire, and brimstone three times a week,
Sitting on the pew trying not to make a peep.
If we chatted in church Dad would surely frown,
And point his finger to silence us down.
Hoping he would forget when we got back to the house,
The rest of the service we were as quiet as a mouse!
community, food, friendship, fun, humorous, religious,
Church suppers in town are such fun,
And the genuine home cooking is second to none.
One man said to the server, “They ran out of my favorite pie!”
“Take it out of the tip,” was her hurried reply.
With a wink and a smile she picked him a different slice.
Then he left thinking, “Oh these church ladies are just so nice!”
bible, fruit, heaven, humorous, irony, passion, religious,
If some fruit is forbidden in Eden,
Eden soon also will be forbidden.
analogy, faith, god, growing up, humorous, mythology, religious,
"What if you woke up tomorrow with only
what you asked god for today?"
As I read, a scowl is freed, then a smile
indeed, and I'll tell you why - I say:
"Poseidon is not so beneficent,
And neither - I wager - is Zeus.
So it seems to me if a man is honest,
he wakes up with what HE has produced."
This much is true. But I jest, of course,
I know they mean well, but let's see...
If god is provider, I'll have some hot cider!
...And yet none is present for me.
"Now, now, be a gentleman. Don't let your
sharp tongue be like teeth." I think.
But if others' boats fill with water,
ought I not inform them they'll sink?
Soon she won't be our great secretary
Which to all of us does seem so scary;
As audacious, administrative assistant
Performance is persistent and consistent.
Also, forever in future we always regret
Her going away which we had to let
If longer with us would stay for a while;
You would see us still wearing a smile.
In church, we were wiggling and squirming
While we did listen to Father Dave's sermon
Which quite a congregation they all drew
We even found Lovett sitting in front pew.
James Thomas Horn
PS. Lovett is our church secretary
who will be a full-fledged parishioner
again at the end of April 2014.
film, humorous, inspirational, new york, religious, youth,
young progressive priest
financially failing Church. . .
swinging on a star
Copyright © 2018 by Mark Toney. All rights reserved.
First published 2018 in Hollywood Haiku via wattpad.com
Am Still Alive
Trump is still on earth and alive
From sins managed to survive
Thanks to God and all He did
Kept him from flipping his lid
No longer lies or will connive.
Fools Think That This Is a Fib
God's prophecies are a preamble
Things to come and child in a stable
And there had been born in a crib;
Only fools think that this is a fib.
Motivated by poem written by:
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
funny, humor, mythology, philosophy, psychological, religious, silly,
Mi: Does God eat his boogers?
Eu: No of course God doesn't eat his boogers.
Mi: But I thought God could do anything.
Eu: Well he could eat his boogers but he just wouldn't.
Mi: So he does have boogers.
Eu: I don't know, I don't think God has boogers.
Mi: God can have anything he wants.
Eu: I don't think he wants boogers.
Mi: I don't think we can understand the mind of God.
Eu: We can't.
Mi: Maybe god is a booger.
Eu: God's not a booger.
Mi: But if God is all things, he's an all-knowing booger.
Eu: Stop it.
Mi: He's a wrathful all-knowing booger.
Eu: I'm not talking to you anymore.
bible, god, humorous, people, religious,
The fact that He saves only souls
not fully consoles.
Freddie Robinson Jr.
humor, humorous, religious, satire, spiritual,
You've been tricked
and you don't even know it
You got played
'cause you're dumber than a slow wit
Satan used you like a chump
on the ground your head got thumped
And you skidded and burned your rump
such a wicked fall when you got dumped
Now you're just an understudy corpse-to-be
buried in your role as Satan's patsy
Had an urge to purge songs which were a dirge
And on many spiritual songs start to splurge
Which will really liven up the whole place
And put a smile on each and every face.
We sound like being in a period of mourning
When all around us is always adorning
Which is none other than God and Jesus
Who can cure my many cases of enuresis.
When I go to church I get so excited
Because by Them I have been invited;
On God's Son Jesus I have a big crush
Then go to bathroom and have to flush.
I have an experience which is really moving
I started to rock and roll and am grooving
After giving it my all and whole entire
They actually want me to join the choir.
James Thomas Horn
love, passion, religionwoman, may,
I may not be the finest of the finest,
but I still got IT
I may not have the bling or swaggard,
but I still got IT
IT been around for a while
ever since Adam said to Eve in the first poem
ever to be spoken
"You are bone of my bone
flesh of my flesh
you are my! woman
because from me you were taken"
Then God say to Adam
"Leave me! your father and mother
Keep your woman and become one flesh"
I am a woman taken from a man
and still got IT