Humorous and funny Sexy poems and/or funny poems about Sexy. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Sexy funny poems!
Written by
Verlena S. Walker
Categories:
freedom, funny, sexy, teacher, technology, teen, teenage, together, vanity,
Having Sex - Footle
buck wild
rodeo style
_______________________|
PENNED ON AUGUST 14, 2014!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
body, humorous, me,
Sex Change
Folks know me as ‘poetry Jan’
But soupers I once was a man …
In a very long op
My male bits got the chop
And I altered my name from Stan!
HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY SOUPERS!!!!
1st April 2018
Written by
Alex Klugman
Categories:
funny,
I Had a Sex In Places- You Could Not Dream
"I had a sex in places- you could not dream!"
My friend always boasts. And readers:- Pardon me,
Because all people puzzled asking him:-
" About a geography he talks or an anatomy?"
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
humor,
Sex Education For Kids
A day at the zoo can be tough
As animals tend to play rough
So mom said, "Whoa!
Its time to go!"
When bull elephants did some stuff
Written by
Terry Ireland
Categories:
age, humor, irony, life,
Sex After Seventy
Oh, you can’t have sex after seventy
Your children just wouldn’t approve
And if your neighbours found out
You’d probably have to move
No, you can’t have sex after seventy
You’ve got to be young and fit
And every succeding generation
All seem think they invented it.
You just can’t have sex after seventy
Though it’s not quite against the law
You should be watching the tele
Or maybe doing the odd jigsaw
No, you can’t have sex after seventy
If you get such an unnatural urge
Drink some hot Epsom Salts
And give your bowels a purge.
You just can’t make love after seventy
Just accept it with good grace
No you can’t have sex after seventy
And wipe that smirk off your face
Written by
Victoria Anderson-Throop
Categories:
funny, life, love, passion, philosophy,
Naughty Sex Talk
Naughty Sex talk
Women will whisper
Pretend they don’t care
Chat about perfume
Or talk about hair
Why is it secret
Hush, hush don’t say
When every ten seconds
In every man’s brain
Frank daydreams of sex
Render
Women insane
Written by
Jslambert Mister Roboto
Categories:
funny, on writing and words, people, satire, urban,
Souper Sex Change
This Lil' poem
had to change it's name
With a title so lame
nearly got sent
to Soup's Hall of Shame!
Never fear
dude's on the poetic rise
silky set a' verses
new curves in them thighs
you bet
boys'll be
rubber neckin'
new flow's strapped
like an automatic weapon
Yep she's got new features
but didn't cost six grand
with a new set a' headlights
give the new girl a hand!
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
humorous,
Sex On a Table
There once was a young filly named Mabel
Who enjoyed having sex on a table
Got gravy on her parts
Her fame was off the charts!!!
For dessert she put a jelly bean in her navel
A LESS BAWDY VERSION
There once was a filly named Mabel
Who enjoyed having sex on a table
Had to watch for the cutlery
Could cause pain quite utterly
Bet you haven't heard this well known fable
© Jack Ellison 2015
Written by
Wilfredo Derequito
Categories:
funny, life
Sex
So divinely exhilarating, yet
Exhausting and contorting -
X-rated gymnastics!
Written by
Paul Schneiter
Categories:
humor,
Sex Change
There was a gigolo who swallowed a bee
It pained him from stomach to knee.
But with a shout and curse
He saw things get worse.
It buzzed him from a he to a she.
Written by
Tammy Reams
Categories:
desire, funny love, humorous, image, lust, women,
Blind Sex
Some say my cousin got around
passing on his bloodline
young and wild with a strong esteem
no matter who it was
Shame his bloodline has family ties
one was his sister Jean
his Pop's found out, boy what a scene
now I know why he's blind
T Reams 3/26/2015 contest sponsored by: Nette Onclaud
'Let Me Feel Your Lines #6 bloodline
Written by
Michael Degenhardt
Categories:
funny,
Dr Seuss' Sex Drive
I wish to have you by the lake
Eat you as I’d eat a cake
By the lake, you’re my cake
I will partake, of you I’ll take
I wish to hold you with no end
Hold you close, my dear friend
By the lake, eat you as cake
Hold, no end, close, dear friend
And when at last you outward cry
We both will look into the sky
By the lake, I’ve eaten my cake
Holding, no end, so close, dear friend
Written by
David Fisher
Categories:
funny, sexy,
Basque In Sex
When I traveled to the region of Basque,
I met a girl of whom sex I did ask
She said, “Yeah, sure mister,
If it includes my sister.”
So I told her, “Sure, I can multitask.”
Written by
Mary Rotman
Categories:
childhood, education, funny, giggle, humorous, mom, son,
Sex Ed
O Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, mine
Please say it isn’t so!
At school today we learned about sex---
But I didn’t want to know.
O Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, dear
Please say it isn’t true!
They taught us what erections are,
And all the girls said “ew!”
Mommy mine, you haven’t done it,
Have you, Mommy dear?
But wait---how else can I explain
The fact that I am here?
Written by
Rudolph Rinaldi
Categories:
fun, funny, funny love, humor, humorous, technology,
Phone Sex
I am lying in bed
With my lady
Sadie
Ready to voyage
to hades
when she whips out
an iPhone
named Teddy
sometimes Freddy
once Eddie
she texting and tweeting
her friends on line
or reading
romance novels and
books on how and where to dine
she ignore me
that’s fine
me biding my time
waiting patiently for sex
between the texts
Written by
Dustin Craig
Categories:
funny, people, satire,
Cheap Sex
There once was a girl from Quebec
Who really wanted to have quick sex
Pants below her knees
She's waiting to please
Definition of a sex object
Written by
Volodymyr Knyr
Categories:
humorous, people, sexy,
Sex
On the one site sex is banal,
on the other side it's ****.
Volodymyr Knyr
2014
Written by
Elton Camp
Categories:
funny,
Same Sex Marriage
Same Sex Marriage
Modification into a poem by Elton Camp
Though to comprehend the news they try
For some folks, its meaning passes them by
Two old ladies find they are extremely confused
Anger over same sex marriage has them bemused
"Susan," one of them now proceeds to say,
"Joe and I had the same sex for many a day."
"Actually, I feel without any trace of doubt,
It isn't worth people getting so upset about."
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
humor,
Happiness and Sex
Monday, Monday, chance to start anew
Put a positive spin on things that matter to you
Like eating and sex
Like happiness and sex
But most of all, sex, sex, sex, woooohoooooo!!!
(Typical male!!!)
Written by
Kurtis Scott Aka Curtis Futch Jr
Categories:
addiction, humorous,
Good Sex Pays Off
this i won't to mention
not off attention
you need this
the boby nedd fixs
its relaxs the mind
get you'll be fine
if it hot box bed or loft
GOOD SEX PAYS OFF
Written by
Jessica Thompson
Categories:
desire, funny, lust,
Quick Sex
I let you into my warmth,
Your words did excel
You blew your ice cream volcano
before I could exhale.
If ever I did regret,
This would be the day
I just smoked a cigarette
while you slept the night away.
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
humorous,
A Sex Change
A sex change surely ain't in my future
Seems kinda weirdo to me
Have admired women all my damn life
Would be uncomfortable in a 34B
Although I've always had pretty nice legs
The hair is a distraction for sure
Especially when wearing a skimpy bikini
A sight too stunning to endure
Not saying I wouldn't appreciate the glances
From Fred a friend since grade one
Quite awkward though in the ladies room
Standing to pee would stun
Guess I'd be forced to sit down from then on
Maybe a sex change ain't so bad
Seeing the ladies in various stages of undress
Might change my opinion a wee tad!
© Jack Ellison 2013
Written by
Kurtis Scott Aka Curtis Futch Jr
Categories:
candy, funny love,
Vacation Sex
it was few weeks away
the hotel we would stay
it was nices
we didn't think twices
a largh bed
haveing sex was in my head
we checked in
the bed just blend
we rock and sock
it was all night lone we got it on
thinking of it am still wet
it was
VACATION SEX
Written by
Earl Schumacker
Categories:
absence, adventure, crazy, emotions, funny love, inspirational, lost,
Partner-Less Sex
Love is stranger with a stranger
Without a partner it is dangerous
With someone in the dark
Imagination wonders are you there
Feeling around there are no walls or floors
No one found about the house might seem bizarre
But what if you were not there
That would be scarier
Partner-less sex is hard work
Without a bed it is ridiculous
Written by
James Horn
Categories:
funny, humor, humorous, mum,
Some Sex Appeal
Some Sex Appeal
(In Response to Ward's poem about Sunday)
Fixing Sunday roast is a piece of toast
What I always like about it the most
It comes with mint potatoes and parsnips.
Pudding on each Sunday has proved to be
Annoying like bad boys who also do me
So much energy pudding it will produce
But they still needed a nap I did deduce.
Why don't we just cut all of the crap
Quiet is best thing about a Sunday nap
Each night pray to God when I kneel
Give me a pregnant mum some sex appeal.
Ho ho.
James Thomas Horn, Retired Veteran