Funny Poems About Sexy or Sexy Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Sexy poems and/or funny poems about Sexy. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Sexy funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Sexy Poems.

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: farm, humorous, sexy,

Mary In the Dairy

A curvaceous lady named Mary Just loved having sex in the dairy When smothered with whipped cream Her beau would lick her clean… His Calorie intake was scary!!! 14th June 2016

Poem Details | by Skat A |
Categories: fantasy, funny,

Sexy Who'

"Sexy Who" *Summer* sand, oozing through toes water down my swimsuit piece how I love the sun *Summer* new sun-rays run my soul wind swims around my pale skin sunburn, ouch! *Dizzy* strong & Long Lasting The Viagra moment fades power by the sun *Jerk Around* secret moment Vixen photos of my youth rock hard & bigger ~SKAT~

Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: food, funny, humorous, nonsense, romance, sexy, silly,

A Fine Flavor Between Lines

Is it Love
a simple bowl of ice cream
sweating from the heat
cherries on the top
huddled 'round and looking sweet
two little wooden paddles
pretend that they are spoons
as we sit beneath the stars
in the savor of the moon
your lips are all I see
as they caress them with a passion 
the cherries on your tongue
in a delightful playful fashion 
with our eyes intent and focused
in a stare of solemn trust
Is this ice cream truly love
or is it merely cherry lust

Poem Details | by Verlena S. Walker |
Categories: freedom, funny, sexy, teacher, technology, teen, teenage, together, vanity,

Having Sex - Footle

buck wild
rodeo style

Poem Details | by Cecilia Macfarlane |
Categories: friendship, funny, halloween,

Sexy Nun

Sister, sister sitting there so sweet
Looking so virtuous, acting discreet.
Any male would eagerly bow at your feet
You have no idea of your allure, you're without conceit
Are you offering up a trick or a treat?
Only then will this Halloween finally be complete
Ready your answers to God when you do meet
For nuns of your stature are becoming obsolete!

For my girlfriend who dressed up as a sexy nun.

Poem Details | by Richard Lamoureux |
Categories: cute love, funny, longing, sexy,

Mama Warned Her

She expected very little from the guy
  A lesson she had learned long ago
     Guys are after just one thing
             It always started
               With just one
               Then look out
          For wandering hands
      He would unbutton her top
  Then next he would remove her brasier
She was so excited...she could hardly wait !

Non Rhyming version of Andrea's new form.

Poem Details | by Rob Carmack |
Categories: giving, humor, humorous, lust, passion, sexy, tribute,

Spitters Are Quitters

Always salty and usually bitter
help encourage the spitter —
still better than the wonts
and those dreaded donts —
saved by the tolerable quitter.

Written: 05.08.21
Contest: Quitters Never Win
Sponsor: Margarita Lillico

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: humorous, poems, sexy,

Bawdy Titillating Titles - Inspired By But Not For Contest

Dirty old man In the mood … She's feelin hot hot hot fancy a quickie? Cross dressing Lingerie We should have seen the signs What can go wrong when wearing a thong Long and hard What a whopper Naked Ecstasy Wet dreams moan moan moan Hold on darling - I'm coming This time YOU didn’t come second Tell me why! I was finding titles for Laura Loo’s contest and these are all original titles from some of my old poems…. I do worry about my muse!! 06-10-17

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: age, body, humorous,

Sexy Sue

Sue lies in her bed boy she’s feeling HOT HOT HOT dratted menopause! 04~08~17

Poem Details | by Sebastian Aaron Baez |
Categories: humor, sexy,

Premature Interaction

freaky free week to be kinky touch me feel me fervently frequently finger suck my pinkie super freaky superbly kinky slowly seductively touch me feel me fervently frequently finger suck my pinkie creamy substance oozing from my twinkie

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: giggle, humorous, sexy,

Just a Gigolo

A young gigolo called Timothy Gave sex for an exorbitant fee But his passionate style Sure made all ladies smile… (I’m hoping that he’s got room for me!) 02~13~17

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: funny, giggle, humor, lust, passion, sexy, woman,

Jan's Halloween Dream

Jan's spouse said she's gilding the lilies
For treating herself to new frillies
All the neighbours got hot
When they saw what she bought
And that really gave Jan the willies!

Poem Details | by Anil Deo |
Categories: allusion, cheer up, fun, humor, sexy,

Adding Limerick: From Reply To April 2 Jan Allison's Wee Man

But Jan, is this a Limerick trick? 
Your family, truly, has no Dick and no Rick ... 
I could have sworn 
Since I, too, had been born 
my family had to have had one Mr. Dick!

(c)Deo.I could not bring myself to declare it as clearly last week. Now Good Friday gives way to naughty Saturday ... have at it. Shalom.Smile: Jesus is not a prude, but He does have standards (No adultery, for one. Have limericks though)

Poem Details | by Mike Gentile |
Categories: fun, humor, humorous, men, sexy, woman,

Vi Agra

Her last name was Agra, I saw on the bar
              My nerves told me, I wouldn’t get very far
But then I did spy
        Her first name was Vi
I worried no more as we walked to my car

A name like Vi Agra can make a guy think
                   Or run like Niagara gone over the brink
But one thing’s for sure
         She won’t be a bore
Le’s hope it’s not over before I can blink!

Poem Details | by L Milton Hankins |
Categories: humorous, sensual, sexy,

She Was a Flirt - Bawdy

A pretty winsome lady from Troy
Liked a remarkably handsome boy
She started to flirt,
By lifting her skirt
So he showed his retractable toy.

May 30, 2021

Poem Details | by Deb Wilson |
Categories: funny, garden, sexy,

The Cougar With the Green Thumb

There once was a cougar named Rose

who kept the young men on their toes.

Working in her garden

they'd say "beg your pardon

I'll bet you could use a good hose!"

for Bawdy Limericks Two contest
sponsored by Roy Jerden

Poem Details | by Volodymyr Knyr |
Categories: body, humorous, people, relationship, sexy, woman, women,

A Skin Peel

The thorougher the skin peel, 
the stronger the sex apeal.

Volodymyr Knyr

Poem Details | by Robert Candler |
Categories: confusion, home, humorous, husband, marriage, sexy, wife,

Quandary - a Husband's Haiku

The dishes are done,
Kids are asleep and dreaming.
Want to watch T.V.?

Privacy at last.
The kids will not disturb us.
Want to hug and smooch?

The dishes are done.
No one will disturb us, but
She's got a headache.

Whatever I did,
It must have been bad, because
She keeps saying, "No."

Poem Details | by Robert Candler |
Categories: angel, beauty, blue, body, cute love, desire, feelings, giggle, girl, hello, hope, humorous, lust, relationship, romance, sexy, song, sweet, together, uplifting, woman,

Please Help Me, Re-Lyric

Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
You're just so damn sexy,
That's why I'm hittin' on you.
You don't have to love me,
Some good sex will do.
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.

Yes, you turned me on
When I saw you walk in...
The face of an Angel,
A body just made for Sin.
Now, I may be real horny,
But one thing is true:
What would satisfy me, Girl
Would be to satisfy You.

So please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You; 
And I hope that you're fallin'
In Lust with me too;
But if not, then please fake it,
Please don't leave me "blue"...
Please help me, I've fallen
In  Lust  with  You.

Poem Details | by Shane Cooper |
Categories: funny, husband, mom, sexy,

A Night Without the Kids

Yummy Mummy Chubby Hubby Jumping Pumping Moaning Groaning Huffing Puffing ****** Sarcasm Wants more Loud snore

Poem Details | by Reginald Telemacque |
Categories: hilarious, horse, metaphor, race, sexy, sports, word play,

Horse Racing

She opened her legs then hopped up on it

She gripped it tight then sat down on it

He started to move so she began to ride it

She loved the feeling cuz she enjoyed it

She pulled out the whip to show that she was master

And when she swung it he began to go faster

She started to scream at the top of her voice

For the way he made her feel her voice got so hoarse

After a thirty minute run he started to tire

For this horse was no longer young he was ready to retire

Poem Details | by Flora Mae Gudez |
Categories: creation, high school, hilarious, humorous, my children, sexy, woman,

Behind the Selfies

I have a very brief confession
that I have to make.
It's about the selfies 
and it'll make you break.

I only wear glamorous tops 
during my homemade shots,
Since bottoms aren't seen
And only the face is on screen.

I give all my efforts
In putting some makeups
Just to look pretty on my selfie
And wrote on it -- hashtag no makeup.

I put on my lipsticks
And do the sexy duck face,
Then captioned the output with bible quotes
Though it doesn't relate.

Mom wondered
Why I locked myself in my room.
Oh please, I was just doing a selfie
and surprisingly came out well groomed.

Poem Details | by Rob Carter |
Categories: humor, humorous, love,

Sexy Redhead

Daphne, I love you
in your purple dress
You're my favourite of the gang
to that I must confess
Your blonde friend just makes traps
and the brainy one is nerdy
The canine and the skinny one
eat huge burgers quite insanely
Your role is kind of quirky
but you're prettier than the others
I don't know who to thank for that
perhaps the animators

Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: appreciation, for her, funny, humor, life, sexy, work,

Advice Adviser

I'm retired but do I still have a life Yes, sexual adviser I am to my wife But if I say try this It'll be totally bliss If I desire I'll ask for your advice . Challenged to write on the back of a Joke!

Poem Details | by Volodymyr Knyr |
Categories: animal, humorous, men, people, poverty, relationship, sexy,

The Poor

He's poorer, who rapes 
poor apes.

Volodymyr Knyr