Funny Poems About Slam or Slam Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Slam poems and/or funny poems about Slam. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Slam funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Slam Poems.

Poem Details | by Isaiah Zerbst |
Categories: funny, humor, irony, pain, slam,

Jogger and Logger

For "Show Me the Funny (part two)"

There once was a fellow a woggin'*
Who bumped into one who was loggin'
They had quite a spat
The ax was a bat
And the first had a lump on his noggin


* Woggers are those who get all dressed for jogging, but only go at walking speed, while vigorously pumping their arms to delude themselves that they are jogging.


Poem Details | by Nina Parmenter |
Categories: anger, fun, funny, humor, humorous, slam,

Ner ni ner ni ner ner

Don’t cross me, cos I’ve got no boundaries
I’ll shout you down, and I’ll do it loudly 
Got my balls from an iron foundry
Ner ni ner ni ner ner

Shush your mush with your blah blah dumb stuff
I’ve got brains that’ll knock your lump off
I’m the business, you’re the bumfluff
Ner ni ner ni ner ner 

Call me names and I’ll call your number
Watch your back now, never slumber
I’m gonna own you - Ooh! Let’s rhumba!
Ner ni ner ni ner ner 



12 Feb 2019
NB: Don’t worry - written purely for fun!

Poem Details | by Hidden Sister |
Categories: child, humorous, slam, son,

Teenage Blues

My whinny,crabby, hungry teen
Your stinky,spoiled and quite mean
You want, you need, you have to have
The latest,newest, modern fad

Your greasy, grimy, hands smear
My wall, light switches, and the mirror
Empty snack bags,with sweet and sour
Create tall,extensive buildings that tower

Your messy,your dirty,in need of a shower
Please make it quick,not loiter an hour
Your smelly,nasty, disgusting shoes
Are slowly  poisoning every room

Even with big mouth,rolling eyes and sighs
I would not trade you, I surmise

Poem Details | by Wendydawn Brindley |
Categories: funny, humorous, slam, truth,

Monday Monday

Piece of gum attacked my shoe.
My fingers could not release.
Now, my hair is entangled.
Typical Monday!


Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: adventure, angel, beautiful, business, childhood, death, education, fantasy, farewell, freedom, friendship, funeral, funny, growing up, happiness, happy, health, holiday, home, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, nostalgia, on writing and words, parody, passion, patriotic, peace, people, philosophy, slam, social, song, sorrow, sorry, spiritual, time, woman,

Ding Dong The Wicked Witch is Dead

Globally, miners jubilantly jump for joy
Smiles on the faces of every girl and boy
The grins of a newly opened Xmas toy
Thatcher’s dead.

Trade unionists bounce along the street
Music blaring and the tapping of feet
From nurses to Bobbies still on the beat
Thatcher’s dead.

Street parties announced in the nation
Satan who brought economic inflation
Is deceased, now’s the time for elation
Thatcher’s dead.

Its times like this I’m sad I’m an atheist
And can only shout and wave my fist
And then go to the pub and get pissed
Thatcher’s dead.

Poem Details | by Anthony Scandrick II |
Categories: anniversary, baby, beautiful, beauty, caregiving, child, childhood, confusion, courage, dark, dedication, depression, devotion, freedom, goodbye, graduation, growing up, happiness, hope, humorous, lonely, lost love, love, mystery, passion, satire, slam, sorrow, sorry, success, suicide, teen, thank you, uplifting, write,

Dear Michelle

You almost had me,
I wanted you,
The way you stuck to me like super glue,
I was feeling you,
But I knew,
I could never have you,
But, the way you looked at me,
The way my body pleads,
We can never be,
Because I’m too old,
And your only thirteen.

Poem Details | by Lycia Harding |
Categories: career, computer, education, growth, humorous, rude, slam,

Learn Something

Do you feel like each day is the same? 
Do all things, every person,  each glitch 
you encounter seem boring and lame?  
Is the rut you're in more like a ditch? 

When you want to rekindle the flame, 
let the internet help you enrich  
your existence and soon you'll reclaim 
that old joy you felt filling your niche. 

If you yearn to get back in the game
learn to use the new tools that exist.
If you don't, you'll be solely to blame.
So, log on now and Google it, b&tch!

Poem Details | by Gary Fields |
Categories: allegory, funny, slam, time,

Comments

No comment!

               by GF

Poem Details | by David Smith |
Categories: addiction, evil, humorous, imagery, obituary, slam, smart,

The Mouse

We have a mouse in the house.
Not an average mouse
But rather a mouse with some nous 
That trips traps as it goes traipsing through the house.
A mouse whose downfall I am planning 
Even while I am jotting.

A foolproof trap I will find, 
Before I go out of my mind. 

It will be one of a kind,
That will attest to my state of mind. 
And show beyond doubt that I have more nous
Than a mouse.

It will send a message to all mouse kind
That it is time to leave this city behind
In case I lose my nous 
And sacrifice the house to get rid of a mouse. 
 


Poem Details | by Blake Hernandez |
Categories: funny, parody, people, romance, slam,

Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian is a beaut, but we all know that she can be a sloot.
She was with Ray J for his dime, now their affair has ended up online.
She looks a bit like her Mom but in her prime.
Sorry Kris, it's past your time.

Poem Details | by Arlene Smith |
Categories: funny, humor, silly, slam,

Evolution Shmevolution

Something's fishy; really stinks.
You say you found your missing link.
Just six months grant was left to thee.
A monkey bone you named Lucy.
Ignorance to thee is bliss.
Why do monkeys still exist?
You say the earth is just like me.
With part of this, I must agree.
Don't flatter yourself, it's you I mock.
I mean you're all dumb as a rock.
Rejecting God and resurrection.
Unable to answer the age old question.
If you're not simply pulling my leg.
Which came first; the chicken or the egg?

Poem Details | by John Beam |
Categories: cheer up, fun, humorous, inspiration, nonsense, slam, spoken word,

Scat Skene

Raised above the cello ding ding ding                                                                                                 Reaching out to say hello song song song                                                                                           Stepping in the ring gong gong gong                                                                                                  Well that’s just all wrong ping ping ping                                                                                      Pauper’s know not his king pong pong pong                                                                                         The cloth was not cut swing swing swing

Poem Details | by Charlie Murder |
Categories: business, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, romance, slam, war, nice, me, nice,

im just gonna snap okay get over it

i dont care who you are
or what you think of me
build me up and break me down
then take your "stuff"* and flee

i hate you 
you know it too
so bring it to my plate
take a point and hold my ground
to not spew all my hate

you were so nice in the beginning 
well, what the "heck"* are you now?
gone, love, thats what you are
a filthy ugly cow

i am still the nice guy 
lord, you have said so much worse
and still im here, i still get by
a blessing, not a curse.

i didnt snap hard enough to say what i meant


Poem Details | by JSLambert Mister ROBOTO |
Categories: angst, art, funny, life, loss, on writing and words, people, philosophy, satire, slam, social

Poetic Robbery

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION

Poem Details | by Katherine Stella |
Categories: adventure, caregiving, cowboy-western, education, fantasy, funny, imagination, inspirational, life, on work and working, people, slam, visionary, work

The Naked Truth

<                                our top story tonight is Lawyers
                                  a pain in the *** and real spoilers
                                  with  fancy cars homes suits
                                  fifteen hundred kaboot
                                  rather hire cowboy wearing just spurs






Entry For Carolyn Devonshire's 
Lawyer Limerick's Contest

GL All
                                  
                                  

Poem Details | by Jerry Dinzes |
Categories: confusion, funny, on writing and words, people, sad

Slam Poetry Is For Orangutangs!

The Orangutang:

There once was a traditionalist,
Who in his ignorance had missed
The beauty of youth,
The ever-changing truth!
He's a typical fundamentalist!


The Traditionalist:

"I can't stand these kids and their slang!
They are just looking for a bang!
Their rhymes are funky,
But so are monkeys!"
  -  Did he just call me an orangutang?

"These darn kids and this gosh darn slam,
It may flow, but it's still a scam!
If it ain't metered,
Then it's petered!
Why waste your ink scribbling flimflam?"

Poem Details | by Jamila Strong |
Categories: art, funny, lost love, slam

I'm Not the One

I don't believe you
You total bastard
Because I didn't give you any
Because I didn't let you get down with me
You wanna walk around with a frown
Treating me so cold and rude
I ain't a piece of food
You chew on and spit out
I don't give a damn if you pout
You think the thing between your legs makes you a man
Check this out you can have fun with your hand
I'm not the one to be treated like dirt
Go ahead and throw your game to another skirt
So go find that store and pick out your whore
And remember I'm a lady with class
When you lay down with dogs and wake up with fleas
I hope you get a rash on your a!!
But I'm not the one!

Poem Details | by Katherine Stella |
Categories: black african american, dedication, fantasy, funny, imagination, life, people, political, slam, uplifting, visionary

Crock Around The Clock

<        Barack
             What Crock










No Pun Just Humor LOL



Entry For Brian Strand's
Two Lines Of Two Syllables 
Footle Contest  G.L. All

Poem Details | by Alexandra Caruso |
Categories: adventure, allegory, angst, animals, confusion, cowboy-western, devotion, fantasy, funny, imagination, inspirational, philosophy, romance, slam, social, sorry, thank you, uplifting, war, wedding,

Drippity drip drip

Take me there I don't care Touch my hair Eat this pear!!! I am bare Want to share? Do you care? I am bear I'll let you stare Don't go there By the chair Or on that stair? Your skin is fair You look like Cher Come to my lair But pay my fare Drippity drip drip

Poem Details | by Katherine Stella |
Categories: adventure, business, education, family, fantasy, funny, imagination, introspection, life, peace, people, places, slam, visionary,

The Paparazzi Quinzaine

<                                   paparazzi candid shots
                                     privacy act ruined ?
                                     big nuisance ?
                                     
                                     

Poem Details | by Stephen Parker |
Categories: funny

Denny's New Grand Slam

Green eggs and ham I am
Denny's new Grand Slam
Egg whites wriggling like a clam
Yellow yokes oozing over the dam
Ham clods denser than Spam
Coated with a varnish of Pam
Gratuitous cholesterol by the gram
Down unthrottled hatch cram
If green terds your jaded colon jam
And amber waves of gout bloat each gam
To Dr Seus's gluteal factory scram
His stool abusing suppositories are a scam
But his rendering vises are no sham
So with leased enema your red *** ram
Till the ivy clumps ooze through your tram

Poem Details | by Murray Mahauariki |
Categories: funny,

Wanna slam burger 1

You likey burgers, yes in deedy, you eat t h e m all day, because they are pleasing. U eat them in t h e mornings, u eat them at lunch, u even eat them between meals like at brunch and trunch. Burgers are ur pals. They always help you out, You’d never keep that belly if you ever went without
M.Mahauariki © 2012

Poem Details | by Osman Gani |
Categories: funny, mystery, nature, slam, visionary,

RAINTER

Rainter! O my Rainter! What are you, Rainter?
Are you a new season tinted by holy painter?
Rain is falling hard even in this freezing winter,
Everywhere disgust roams like a lonely hunter.

The winter rain congeals brains, soaks hearts,
With its two ice-cold hands and crying eyes.
Nature is camouflaging itself in several parts
To display how changing carpet of Time flies.

Rainter, a fragment of Nature’s jumbled play,
Is nothing but a cyclic blend of its crude tools.
Some would sense it exciting, others may say
“Rainter, thou art disgusting except to the fools”

Poem Details | by john freeman |
Categories: funny, love

"Give Slam a Ham"

I know little of poet, Sam Slam,
But give him a slice of poet I am.
Of the prime directive,
I am over protective,
So slam your gums down, here comes your ham.

For Anti-Slam Limericks
In Honor of: Carolyn Devonshire
Placed #3

Poem Details | by Letitia Alvarez |
Categories: friendship, funny, slam,

Casey's Her Name

Her nose is so big
She can't even eat a fig
Her teeth are so buck
Bugs Bunny is even jealous
Her *** is so wide
They put a patent on it for Big Mack Trucks
She acts the part
Then spits out a fart
She'll act your friend
Then her bipolar kicks in
She hates her life
Cause she'll never be a wife
Don't let her in 
Cause she'll ruin your life
Casey's her name 
Drama is her game