Humorous and funny Slam poems and/or funny poems about Slam. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Slam funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Slam Poems.
funny, humor, irony, pain, slam,
For "Show Me the Funny (part two)"
There once was a fellow a woggin'*
Who bumped into one who was loggin'
They had quite a spat
The ax was a bat
And the first had a lump on his noggin
* Woggers are those who get all dressed for jogging, but only go at walking speed, while vigorously pumping their arms to delude themselves that they are jogging.
child, humorous, slam, son,
My whinny,crabby, hungry teen
Your stinky,spoiled and quite mean
You want, you need, you have to have
The latest,newest, modern fad
Your greasy, grimy, hands smear
My wall, light switches, and the mirror
Empty snack bags,with sweet and sour
Create tall,extensive buildings that tower
Your messy,your dirty,in need of a shower
Please make it quick,not loiter an hour
Your smelly,nasty, disgusting shoes
Are slowly poisoning every room
Even with big mouth,rolling eyes and sighs
I would not trade you, I surmise
funny, humorous, slam, truth,
Piece of gum attacked my shoe.
My fingers could not release.
Now, my hair is entangled.
adventure, angel, beautiful, business, childhood, death, education, fantasy, farewell, freedom, friendship, funeral, funny, growing up, happiness, happy, health, holiday, home, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, nostalgia, on writing and words, parody, passion, patriotic, peace, people, philosophy, slam, social, song, sorrow, sorry, spiritual, time, woman,
Globally, miners jubilantly jump for joy
Smiles on the faces of every girl and boy
The grins of a newly opened Xmas toy
Trade unionists bounce along the street
Music blaring and the tapping of feet
From nurses to Bobbies still on the beat
Street parties announced in the nation
Satan who brought economic inflation
Is deceased, now’s the time for elation
Its times like this I’m sad I’m an atheist
And can only shout and wave my fist
And then go to the pub and get pissed
Anthony Scandrick II
anniversary, baby, beautiful, beauty, caregiving, child, childhood, confusion, courage, dark, dedication, depression, devotion, freedom, goodbye, graduation, growing up, happiness, hope, humorous, lonely, lost love, love, mystery, passion, satire, slam, sorrow, sorry, success, suicide, teen, thank you, uplifting, write,
You almost had me,
I wanted you,
The way you stuck to me like super glue,
I was feeling you,
But I knew,
I could never have you,
But, the way you looked at me,
The way my body pleads,
We can never be,
Because I’m too old,
And your only thirteen.
career, computer, education, growth, humorous, rude, slam,
Do you feel like each day is the same?
Do all things, every person, each glitch
you encounter seem boring and lame?
Is the rut you're in more like a ditch?
When you want to rekindle the flame,
let the internet help you enrich
your existence and soon you'll reclaim
that old joy you felt filling your niche.
If you yearn to get back in the game
learn to use the new tools that exist.
If you don't, you'll be solely to blame.
So, log on now and Google it, b&tch!
allegory, funny, slam, time,
addiction, evil, humorous, imagery, obituary, slam, smart,
We have a mouse in the house.
Not an average mouse
But rather a mouse with some nous
That trips traps as it goes traipsing through the house.
A mouse whose downfall I am planning
Even while I am jotting.
A foolproof trap I will find,
Before I go out of my mind.
It will be one of a kind,
That will attest to my state of mind.
And show beyond doubt that I have more nous
Than a mouse.
It will send a message to all mouse kind
That it is time to leave this city behind
In case I lose my nous
And sacrifice the house to get rid of a mouse.
funny, parody, people, romance, slam,
Kim Kardashian is a beaut, but we all know that she can be a sloot.
She was with Ray J for his dime, now their affair has ended up online.
She looks a bit like her Mom but in her prime.
Sorry Kris, it's past your time.
funny, humor, silly, slam,
Something's fishy; really stinks.
You say you found your missing link.
Just six months grant was left to thee.
A monkey bone you named Lucy.
Ignorance to thee is bliss.
Why do monkeys still exist?
You say the earth is just like me.
With part of this, I must agree.
Don't flatter yourself, it's you I mock.
I mean you're all dumb as a rock.
Rejecting God and resurrection.
Unable to answer the age old question.
If you're not simply pulling my leg.
Which came first; the chicken or the egg?
JSLambert Mister ROBOTO
angst, art, funny, life, loss, on writing and words, people, philosophy, satire, slam, social
Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION
cheer up, fun, humorous, inspiration, nonsense, slam, spoken word,
Raised above the cello ding ding ding Reaching out to say hello song song song Stepping in the ring gong gong gong Well that’s just all wrong ping ping ping Pauper’s know not his king pong pong pong The cloth was not cut swing swing swing
business, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, romance, slam, war, nice, me, nice,
i dont care who you are
or what you think of me
build me up and break me down
then take your "stuff"* and flee
i hate you
you know it too
so bring it to my plate
take a point and hold my ground
to not spew all my hate
you were so nice in the beginning
well, what the "heck"* are you now?
gone, love, thats what you are
a filthy ugly cow
i am still the nice guy
lord, you have said so much worse
and still im here, i still get by
a blessing, not a curse.
i didnt snap hard enough to say what i meant
adventure, caregiving, cowboy-western, education, fantasy, funny, imagination, inspirational, life, on work and working, people, slam, visionary, work
< our top story tonight is Lawyers
a pain in the *** and real spoilers
with fancy cars homes suits
fifteen hundred kaboot
rather hire cowboy wearing just spurs
Entry For Carolyn Devonshire's
Lawyer Limerick's Contest
adventure, allegory, angst, animals, confusion, cowboy-western, devotion, fantasy, funny, imagination, inspirational, philosophy, romance, slam, social, sorry, thank you, uplifting, war, wedding,
Take me there
I don't care
Touch my hair
Eat this pear!!!
I am bare
Want to share?
Do you care?
I am bear
I'll let you stare
Don't go there
By the chair
Or on that stair?
Your skin is fair
You look like Cher
Come to my lair
But pay my fare
Drippity drip drip
confusion, funny, on writing and words, people, sad
There once was a traditionalist,
Who in his ignorance had missed
The beauty of youth,
The ever-changing truth!
He's a typical fundamentalist!
"I can't stand these kids and their slang!
They are just looking for a bang!
Their rhymes are funky,
But so are monkeys!"
- Did he just call me an orangutang?
"These darn kids and this gosh darn slam,
It may flow, but it's still a scam!
If it ain't metered,
Then it's petered!
Why waste your ink scribbling flimflam?"
black african american, dedication, fantasy, funny, imagination, life, people, political, slam, uplifting, visionary
No Pun Just Humor LOL
Entry For Brian Strand's
Two Lines Of Two Syllables
Footle Contest G.L. All
art, funny, lost love, slam
I don't believe you
You total bastard
Because I didn't give you any
Because I didn't let you get down with me
You wanna walk around with a frown
Treating me so cold and rude
I ain't a piece of food
You chew on and spit out
I don't give a damn if you pout
You think the thing between your legs makes you a man
Check this out you can have fun with your hand
I'm not the one to be treated like dirt
Go ahead and throw your game to another skirt
So go find that store and pick out your whore
And remember I'm a lady with class
When you lay down with dogs and wake up with fleas
I hope you get a rash on your a!!
But I'm not the one!
adventure, business, education, family, fantasy, funny, imagination, introspection, life, peace, people, places, slam, visionary,
< paparazzi candid shots
privacy act ruined ?
big nuisance ?
funny, humorous, slam, truth,
She went from hating me
to up for dating me
I led her on most gratefully
and left her there to wait for me
but I did not return
for she's not my concern
so she went back to slandering
as I laughed at the burn
Green eggs and ham I am
Denny's new Grand Slam
Egg whites wriggling like a clam
Yellow yokes oozing over the dam
Ham clods denser than Spam
Coated with a varnish of Pam
Gratuitous cholesterol by the gram
Down unthrottled hatch cram
If green terds your jaded colon jam
And amber waves of gout bloat each gam
To Dr Seus's gluteal factory scram
His stool abusing suppositories are a scam
But his rendering vises are no sham
So with leased enema your red *** ram
Till the ivy clumps ooze through your tram
I know little of poet, Sam Slam,
But give him a slice of poet I am.
Of the prime directive,
I am over protective,
So slam your gums down, here comes your ham.
For Anti-Slam Limericks
In Honor of: Carolyn Devonshire
friendship, funny, slam,
Her nose is so big
She can't even eat a fig
Her teeth are so buck
Bugs Bunny is even jealous
Her *** is so wide
They put a patent on it for Big Mack Trucks
She acts the part
Then spits out a fart
She'll act your friend
Then her bipolar kicks in
She hates her life
Cause she'll never be a wife
Don't let her in
Cause she'll ruin your life
Casey's her name
Drama is her game
You likey burgers,
yes in deedy, you eat
t h e m all day, because
they are pleasing. U eat them
in t h e mornings, u eat them at lunch,
u even eat them between meals like at
brunch and trunch. Burgers are ur
pals. They always help you out,
You’d never keep that belly
if you ever went without
M.Mahauariki © 2012
funny, mystery, nature, slam, visionary,
Rainter! O my Rainter! What are you, Rainter?
Are you a new season tinted by holy painter?
Rain is falling hard even in this freezing winter,
Everywhere disgust roams like a lonely hunter.
The winter rain congeals brains, soaks hearts,
With its two ice-cold hands and crying eyes.
Nature is camouflaging itself in several parts
To display how changing carpet of Time flies.
Rainter, a fragment of Nature’s jumbled play,
Is nothing but a cyclic blend of its crude tools.
Some would sense it exciting, others may say
“Rainter, thou art disgusting except to the fools”