Funny Poems About Crown Of Sonnets or Crown Of Sonnets Funny Poems

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Poem Details | by Sandra Haight |
Categories: humor, mother, son,

Elizabeth's Throne

Elizabeth’s Throne You still sit on England’s grand throne! For sixty plus years crown you own! Your subjects all wait— Will you abdicate? Will Charles make it to the King zone? © Sandra M. Haight 2015 All Rights Reserved ~1st Place Contest: Long Live the Queen Sponsor: Judy Konos Judged: 06/06/2015
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Poem Details | by Lisa Bailey |
Categories: childhood, funny, mother, son, mother,

Mother May I

Mother may I 
Go out and play
My child
Have you cleaned your room today

Are your toys packed away
in your toy chest with care
Yes mother yes 
its all in there

Did you make your bed 
like i showed you how
yes mother yes
may I go now

Yes son yes
after a brief inspection
son shakes his head
not what I was expecting

Never-mind mother
I'm going to my room
oh by the way
can you hand me the broom?


Poem Details | by Christopher Allen |
Categories: humor, humorous,

My Son Wants To Talk About Tooth Decay

we're in a cafe and he's unsure if he can
finish his slice of CAKE, one of those 
fondant numbers and so we've made an arrangement
which will allow me to consume half of it
but then, "dad, i actually think i can finish it."

i get a message from a friend asking how are the kids today
i reply like what i make of the french revolution; 
it's too early to tell

Poem Details | by Hidden Sister |
Categories: child, humorous, slam, son,

Teenage Blues

My whinny,crabby, hungry teen
Your stinky,spoiled and quite mean
You want, you need, you have to have
The latest,newest, modern fad

Your greasy, grimy, hands smear
My wall, light switches, and the mirror
Empty snack bags,with sweet and sour
Create tall,extensive buildings that tower

Your messy,your dirty,in need of a shower
Please make it quick,not loiter an hour
Your smelly,nasty, disgusting shoes
Are slowly  poisoning every room

Even with big mouth,rolling eyes and sighs
I would not trade you, I surmise

Poem Details | by Jslambert Mister Roboto |
Categories: caregiving, childhood, confusion, family, father, children, funny, happiness, holiday, husband, imagination, life, mother, natural disasters, nature, parody, people, places, satire, social, son, teen, wife

Redneck Father's Day------

***NOTE~TO BE READ WITH A RIDICULOUS "SILKY SOUTHERN DRAWL" (have fun:)***



"Storm over yet...?"

"Well hay'ell ye'ah! 
 woo-hoo!
 sum'body git me a da'gumm cole beer.
 whadda'bou  that boy th'er?
 sum'body git him'a cole beer too!"

"Diddy! that boy ain't nothin' but 8 years old!"

"Wha'choo sayin? 
 wha'th'a?
 na'I don't give a jolly'durn, if he ain't nuttin but 8 year'owed!
 shoot! 
 'dat boy dun' sat him thr'ew a big ol', storm! 
 torna'durr warnin' too!
 he gonna have him'a cole burr;  
 on me!"
 my treat!
 mama, git him'a cole burr! 
 ro'tt now; 
 ya'here?
 besides...
 ta'days father's day!" 



© 2011  ~JSLambert Esquire


Poem Details | by Eve Peterson |
Categories: child, daughter, funny, son,

Rubber Duckie

Rubber duckie you're the one
You're the reason I'm the one
Rubber duckie
You're the one for me

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: humorous, political,

A Two-Faced Son-Of-A-Gun

Even Honest Abe Lincoln admitted himself that he wasn't all that pretty,

   But you'll be hard-pressed to find a president who was more witty!

      During debates, Stephen Douglas called him a two-faced son-of-a-gun.

         Lincoln replied, "If I had another face, do you think I would wear this one?"

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humorous,

My Son Scotty, the Wannabe Chef-Y

They've named a new dish of pasta and noodles After my wannabe chef, makes dough by the oodles They call it “la scotta” To try it ya oughtta Puts hair on your chest and makes you bug out your pupils!!! © Jack Ellison 2015

Poem Details | by Misheel Chuluun |
Categories: childhood, family, funny, growing up, son,

Two Wailing Babies

So delicious my baby's right cheek
looked
to his brother

Of course he took a hard bite
on that
soft sweet sight

His cruel curiosity was confused,
amused
it's too easy to hurt

My baby threw a wail mile high
his brother
jumped...a fearful cry.

Poem Details | by D. C. Jordan |
Categories: boyfriend, feelings, humor, mother son,

Girl From Wheeling

There was a young lady from Wheeling
West Virginia, that is
Who had a peculiar feeling that
Her boyfriend Jack was cheating

She took it to his Mom
“Mom” she said, “your son Jack
Is really pissing me off.  
I'm ready to hit the ceiling.”

“Ya know,” Mom said, “You crack me up.
I'm tickled he goes to your head
He irritates me the same way about you
So I tell him to stay unwed.”

So Mom was the other woman
The young lady from Wheeling suspected
So she lay on her back and considered Mom amd Jack
“I would like to see them dissected!”

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: humorous, husband, i love you, mother son, wisdom, boxing day,

My Parting Gifts

The time has come for me to say goodbye forever I am not brilliant at expressing my emotions But in the words of ‘Sealion Dion’ …. ‘I will always love you’ If you check in the filing cabinet You will find my portfolio of shares I have kept the Woolworth's certificate it may be valuable They may resurface one day …. That’s the wonder of Woolies! If you ever need a new sofa…. don’t forget these immortal words The DFS Half Price Sale starts at 10am on Boxing Day! Contest:- My Parting Gifts Sponsor:- Viv Wigley 02~06~16

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: body, for her, for him, hair, humorous, mother son,

For Phillip and Diane Garcia - Ditch the Beard

Phil’s caveman look is very weird He really should shave off his beard His mother is right He looks a strange sight The Neanderthal look’s to be feared! Since December Phil’s been hirsute He needs to give his beard a boot He’ll cut it off in the sink But his mum won’t cause a stink Cos without it he looks real cute! Poem Posted with Kind permission of Phillip Garcia To understand the poem please read my comments on Phillip's poem https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/3443_or_t_minus_44_880105 02~26~17

Poem Details | by Mary Rotman |
Categories: childhood, education, funny, giggle, humorous, mom, son,

Sex Ed

O Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, mine
Please say it isn’t so!
At school today we learned about sex---
But I didn’t want to know.

O Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, dear
Please say it isn’t true!
They taught us what erections are,
And all the girls said “ew!”

Mommy mine, you haven’t done it,
Have you, Mommy dear?
But wait---how else can I explain
The fact that I am here?

Poem Details | by Mark Goodson |
Categories: father, funny, nostalgia, son, sports,

Ice-Cream Baseball

As a new father I coached my little league son
 He was clumsy and uncoordinated
 Picked dandelions in the outfield
 Watched bumble bees fly and hum
Would run to a grounder and watch it stop
pick it up to throw it but it would drop
He enjoyed his team mates for they were friends 
He struck out more than hitting the ball
Funny thing was he would always run whether he did or not
How I wanted him to hit the ball so hard 
Perhaps a grand- slam homerun for him and my heart
But the greatness was in him- he was part of the team 
 His greatest joy was afterwards
When we’d all go get ice-cream

Poem Details | by Jacquelyn Sturge |
Categories: funny, son, old, old, son,

Mother Goose's the Piper's Son

I read a rhyme and I was so vexed
I feel that Old Mother Goose was hexed,
Didn't condemn this thief
And this brought me grief,
But he got beat up by Old Man Tex.


Tom the Piper's son stole pig and ran
This little boy acts like a big man,
Protective services
Moves him from premises,
Now the Piper smokes all that he can.


He sent his son Tom to go and steal
I wouldn't mind if 'twas for a meal,
But we all knew that it
Was to support his habit,
I think he should be locked up for real.

Poem Details | by Muhereza Rodgers Roger |
Categories: baby, funny, hero, inspiration, memorial day,

Old Son, Young Dad

He died forty
with strength and wit
He left a son Young and young

He died nighty 
With bones no teeth
He left a boy pale and forty

They meet in paradise
Dad still forty
Son at nighty
Dad thought it was grand pa
Son thought he was grand son
Who had died also

Poem Details | by Dialectic Crisis |
Categories: angst, father, father daughter, father son, funny, integrity, silly,

Existentially Deconstructing the Knock-Knock Joke Into the Perfect Moral Tale

"Knock-Knock!" - Who's there?
"Diaphragms!" - Diaphragms who?
"Diaphragms...Don't always seem to work...
...I don't know how else to tell you this...
...So I am just gonna say it 
as politically correct
and incorrectly apolitical 
as I've been reprogrammed to speak
by The Disney Company:
"Luke, I am your sperm donor!"
- I sure hope I don't disappoint you as much 
as George Lucas disappoints God and such..."

Poem Details | by Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen |
Categories: death, funny, history, son, son, , fate,

Thus, Fate Avengeth

Henry VIII desireth an heir.
Wife after wife, nary son hath wives bourne.
Thusly, he cut off each head.
Findeth a new wife instead.
His sole son hath been born from an affair.

Poem Details | by Elijah Johnson |
Categories: child, fantasy, father son, children, humor,

My Pet Dragon

If dragons were real asked my son
Would I be able to keep one?
He could stay with me up in my room
Saturday morning we'll both watch cartoons
I could take him with me to school
And play Marco Polo in the pool
But what would you feed him asked I?
He'd need to fly high in the sky
If you catch one they get pretty mean
Dragons live in our wildest dreams.

Poem Details | by Jslambert Mister Roboto |
Categories: dedication, father, funny, health, history, satire, son, sports, teen,

Nfl Golden Child Injured

Finished before start Colts fans leap from Bandwagon Peyton Manning's hurt

Poem Details | by May Fenn |
Categories: animal, childhood, family, humorous, parents, son, word play,

Our Kid

A kid is not a human child
But offspring of a goat
So why do you then call him so
And thus your son demote.
Kids are animals wild and free
That butt and kick and bite,
On second thoughts – I’ve met your son,
Perhaps in fact you’re right.

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: cheer up, confusion, farm, humorous, mother, mother son, soccer,

Hanks

once an old con named bob hanks

greeted each teller with thanks

oh please call me dom

i'm named for my mom

as he thieved his way through banks.

Poem Details | by Connie Gildersleeve |
Categories: humor, mom, son,

Ma You'Re Driving Me Nuts

Spun web way up high, too far to reach from the floor-
Slightly bent forward, working with gloves and a broom,
Swinging away, causing the ladder to wobble even more,
She let out a scream when the spider crawled onto her broom.

I softened her fall, when she tumbled down, landing right on top of me.
"Ma you're driving me nuts, you're not that young anymore."
I was mad as hell, but we started to laugh as we lay there on the floor.
What can you do with an old stubborn woman like ma?

Poem Details | by Gail Debole |
Categories: funny, humor, nature, , cute,

Mother Nature's Favorite Son

Written by Gail DeBole
on June 4, 2016

He couldn’t understand why
He wasn’t well-liked.
It always seemed like others
Were ready to strike.

His mother thought that
He was the cutest of all
With his eyes so large
And his stature so small.

He was quite fast
And could live on his own.
But he couldn’t help cringing
When he heard others groan.

When he was in sight
He was treated worse than a spy.
Only Mother Nature can appreciate
The life of a fly.

Poem Details | by Indiana Shaw |
Categories: dad, humor, satire, son,

Lesson's Learnt

No offence intended to anyone from Caerphilly or Wales itself. . . 
Twaz the only place I could find it to rhyme with . . . : )


There was young man from Caerphilly
Who was always playing with his willy
Till one day the darn thing just dropped off
A shout from his da working up from aloft
I told you son - never play with your bits willy nilly
Indiana . . . ; )