Humorous and funny Crown Of Sonnets poems and/or funny poems about Crown Of Sonnets. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Crown Of Sonnets funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Crown Of Sonnets Poems.
humor, mother, son,
You still sit on England’s grand throne!
For sixty plus years crown you own!
Your subjects all wait—
Will you abdicate?
Will Charles make it to the King zone?
© Sandra M. Haight 2015
All Rights Reserved
Contest: Long Live the Queen
Sponsor: Judy Konos
childhood, funny, mother, son, mother,
Mother may I
Go out and play
Have you cleaned your room today
Are your toys packed away
in your toy chest with care
Yes mother yes
its all in there
Did you make your bed
like i showed you how
yes mother yes
may I go now
Yes son yes
after a brief inspection
son shakes his head
not what I was expecting
I'm going to my room
oh by the way
can you hand me the broom?
child, humorous, slam, son,
My whinny,crabby, hungry teen
Your stinky,spoiled and quite mean
You want, you need, you have to have
The latest,newest, modern fad
Your greasy, grimy, hands smear
My wall, light switches, and the mirror
Empty snack bags,with sweet and sour
Create tall,extensive buildings that tower
Your messy,your dirty,in need of a shower
Please make it quick,not loiter an hour
Your smelly,nasty, disgusting shoes
Are slowly poisoning every room
Even with big mouth,rolling eyes and sighs
I would not trade you, I surmise
JSLambert Mister ROBOTO
caregiving, childhood, confusion, family, father, children, funny, happiness, holiday, husband, imagination, life, mother, natural disasters, nature, parody, people, places, satire, social, son, teen, wife
***NOTE~TO BE READ WITH A RIDICULOUS "SILKY SOUTHERN DRAWL" (have fun:)***
"Storm over yet...?"
"Well hay'ell ye'ah!
sum'body git me a da'gumm cole beer.
whadda'bou that boy th'er?
sum'body git him'a cole beer too!"
"Diddy! that boy ain't nothin' but 8 years old!"
na'I don't give a jolly'durn, if he ain't nuttin but 8 year'owed!
'dat boy dun' sat him thr'ew a big ol', storm!
torna'durr warnin' too!
he gonna have him'a cole burr;
mama, git him'a cole burr!
ta'days father's day!"
© 2011 ~JSLambert Esquire
child, daughter, funny, son,
Rubber duckie you're the one
You're the reason I'm the one
You're the one for me
Robert L. Hinshaw
Even Honest Abe Lincoln admitted himself that he wasn't all that pretty,
But you'll be hard-pressed to find a president who was more witty!
During debates, Stephen Douglas called him a two-faced son-of-a-gun.
Lincoln replied, "If I had another face, do you think I would wear this one?"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved
humorous, husband, i love you, mother son, wisdom, boxing day,
The time has come for me to say goodbye forever
I am not brilliant at expressing my emotions
But in the words of ‘Sealion Dion’ ….
‘I will always love you’
If you check in the filing cabinet
You will find my portfolio of shares
I have kept the Woolworth's certificate it may be valuable
They may resurface one day ….
That’s the wonder of Woolies!
If you ever need a new sofa…. don’t forget these immortal words
The DFS Half Price Sale starts at 10am on Boxing Day!
Contest:- My Parting Gifts
Sponsor:- Viv Wigley
Mary Oliver Rotman
childhood, education, funny, giggle, humorous, mom, son,
O Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, mine
Please say it isn’t so!
At school today we learned about sex---
But I didn’t want to know.
O Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, dear
Please say it isn’t true!
They taught us what erections are,
And all the girls said “ew!”
Mommy mine, you haven’t done it,
Have you, Mommy dear?
But wait---how else can I explain
The fact that I am here?
They've named a new dish of pasta and noodles
After my wannabe chef, makes dough by the oodles
They call it “la scotta”
To try it ya oughtta
Puts hair on your chest and makes you bug out your pupils!!!
© Jack Ellison 2015
funny, son, old, old, son,
I read a rhyme and I was so vexed
I feel that Old Mother Goose was hexed,
Didn't condemn this thief
And this brought me grief,
But he got beat up by Old Man Tex.
Tom the Piper's son stole pig and ran
This little boy acts like a big man,
Moves him from premises,
Now the Piper smokes all that he can.
He sent his son Tom to go and steal
I wouldn't mind if 'twas for a meal,
But we all knew that it
Was to support his habit,
I think he should be locked up for real.
angst, father, father daughter, father son, funny, integrity, silly,
"Knock-Knock!" - Who's there?
"Diaphragms!" - Diaphragms who?
"Diaphragms...Don't always seem to work...
...I don't know how else to tell you this...
...So I am just gonna say it
as politically correct
and incorrectly apolitical
as I've been reprogrammed to speak
by The Disney Company:
"Luke, I am your sperm donor!"
- I sure hope I don't disappoint you as much
as George Lucas disappoints God and such..."
childhood, family, funny, growing up, son,
So delicious my baby's right cheek
to his brother
Of course he took a hard bite
soft sweet sight
His cruel curiosity was confused,
it's too easy to hurt
My baby threw a wail mile high
jumped...a fearful cry.
father, funny, nostalgia, son, sports,
As a new father I coached my little league son
He was clumsy and uncoordinated
Picked dandelions in the outfield
Watched bumble bees fly and hum
Would run to a grounder and watch it stop
pick it up to throw it but it would drop
He enjoyed his team mates for they were friends
He struck out more than hitting the ball
Funny thing was he would always run whether he did or not
How I wanted him to hit the ball so hard
Perhaps a grand- slam homerun for him and my heart
But the greatness was in him- he was part of the team
His greatest joy was afterwards
When we’d all go get ice-cream
baby, funny, hero, inspiration, memorial day,
He died forty
with strength and wit
He left a son Young and young
He died nighty
With bones no teeth
He left a boy pale and forty
They meet in paradise
Dad still forty
Son at nighty
Dad thought it was grand pa
Son thought he was grand son
Who had died also
body, for her, for him, hair, humorous, mother son,
Phil’s caveman look is very weird
He really should shave off his beard
His mother is right
He looks a strange sight
The Neanderthal look’s to be feared!
Since December Phil’s been hirsute
He needs to give his beard a boot
He’ll cut it off in the sink
But his mum won’t cause a stink
Cos without it he looks real cute!
Poem Posted with Kind permission of Phillip Garcia
To understand the poem please read my comments on Phillip's poem
D. C. Jordan
boyfriend, feelings, humor, mother son,
There was a young lady from Wheeling
West Virginia, that is
Who had a peculiar feeling that
Her boyfriend Jack was cheating
She took it to his Mom
“Mom” she said, “your son Jack
Is really pissing me off.
I'm ready to hit the ceiling.”
“Ya know,” Mom said, “You crack me up.
I'm tickled he goes to your head
He irritates me the same way about you
So I tell him to stay unwed.”
So Mom was the other woman
The young lady from Wheeling suspected
So she lay on her back and considered Mom amd Jack
“I would like to see them dissected!”
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
death, funny, history, son, son, , fate,
Henry VIII desireth an heir.
Wife after wife, nary son hath wives bourne.
Thusly, he cut off each head.
Findeth a new wife instead.
His sole son hath been born from an affair.
JSLambert Mister ROBOTO
dedication, father, funny, health, history, satire, son, sports, teen,
Finished before start
Colts fans leap from Bandwagon
Peyton Manning's hurt
funny, growing up, introspection, nature, philosophy, son, teen,
in the eyes of an
15 yr American old boy
Raised in China
Where MTV and YOUTUBE are banned
Where no girl kisses
Until her university days end.
Raised in China
Where knees are covered--
Lips are sealed--
Of the wonders of Red sex.
Said he loved Paris
For the Eiffel
For the Louvre
For the Seine
For the wine.
But I knew
He loved Paris
Short tight skirts.
animal, childhood, family, humorous, parents, son, word play,
A kid is not a human child
But offspring of a goat
So why do you then call him so
And thus your son demote.
Kids are animals wild and free
That butt and kick and bite,
On second thoughts – I’ve met your son,
Perhaps in fact you’re right.
funny, humor, nature, , cute,
Written by Gail DeBole
on June 4, 2016
He couldn’t understand why
He wasn’t well-liked.
It always seemed like others
Were ready to strike.
His mother thought that
He was the cutest of all
With his eyes so large
And his stature so small.
He was quite fast
And could live on his own.
But he couldn’t help cringing
When he heard others groan.
When he was in sight
He was treated worse than a spy.
Only Mother Nature can appreciate
The life of a fly.
humor, mom, son,
Spun web way up high, too far to reach from the floor-
Slightly bent forward, working with gloves and a broom,
Swinging away, causing the ladder to wobble even more,
She let out a scream when the spider crawled onto her broom.
I softened her fall, when she tumbled down, landing right on top of me.
"Ma you're driving me nuts, you're not that young anymore."
I was mad as hell, but we started to laugh as we lay there on the floor.
What can you do with an old stubborn woman like ma?
child, fantasy, father son, children, humor,
If dragons were real asked my son
Would I be able to keep one?
He could stay with me up in my room
Saturday morning we'll both watch cartoons
I could take him with me to school
And play Marco Polo in the pool
But what would you feed him asked I?
He'd need to fly high in the sky
If you catch one they get pretty mean
Dragons live in our wildest dreams.
art, family, funny, imagination, life, son, child,
The alphabet but has held true
you get the paper I'll get the glue
clipping and shaving spreading everywhere
giggles and laughs seaping through fingers
the hushing back and forth
don't wake mom
don't make a mess
don't run with scissors
for all those rules we had to break
for that defines what a child is all about
a surprise for her from us
to give her a smile that will make her bust
for everyday is mother's day
when your child runs with scissors
creating something new
a perfect marriage of innocence and youth
a match made in heaven
for it is but a blessing to have children
father, funny, humor, son,
Even though I've been helping you and working hard,
you won't give me a beer after I've mowed your yard.
I'm hot, sweaty and dying of thirst.
You've done some bad things but this is the worst.
When you asked for my help, I shouldn't have come here.
You offered me a glass of water but what I want is a beer.
You love your damn beer so much that you won't even give me one.
I would kick your *** up and down the street if you weren't my son.
I have something to say and you'd better listen to me.
Don't ever expect me to mow your yard again for free.
(This is a fictional poem)