Humorous and funny Spider poems and/or funny poems about Spider. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Spider funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Spider Poems.
All things can tempt me, but some things tempt me more
Like Squashing a spider, that crawls 'cross the floor
Bring out the bugles...and sound the alarm
Wait! I say to myself "She means me no harm"
Her web in the corner, has caught her a fly
That's where she was going...when she passed me by
Quickly, she ran...with her tiny eight legs
Carrying on her back....dozens of eggs
I thought, "Not squash her- I'll go sleep on my couch"
Then, I awoke with a bump, she bit me- OUCH!
All Things Can Tempt Me Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Beth Evans
assonance, fear, funny,
Picnic was peaceful
A spider crawled down her neck
screech heard round the world
I'm just a little spider
And I really am quite shy
So why is it when you see me
You shout, scream and cry.
I do not mean to frighten you
So I come out late at night
And if you are quite nervous
Don't turn off the light.
I could be hiding in your cupboard
Or underneath your chair
And if you need the loo at night
Remember I could be there.
Why is it when you see me
You start whacking me with your shoe
I'm only a little spider
What have I done to you.
Before you go to sleep tonight
Just remember what I said
Spiders can hide anywhere
You better check your bed.
A spider on a windscreen wiper
Is gambling with his life,
He better pray the sun stays out
Or he just could be in strife.
Perhaps he could take up poker,
Or roll the dice around,
I think he'd stand a better chance
Than when the rain comes down.
animals, children, funny,
Now, wasn't it sad about Snyder,
The light hearted, fun loving spider?
He got a gnat in his eye,
While pursuing a fly,
And fell into a barrel of cider.
animal, fun, funny, humor, humorous, silly, work,
Transatlantic translation note: MD = Managing Director
We hired a spider! It’s true!
Cos eight hands are better than two,
He drank all the tea,
Then he ate the MD -
We decided a human would do.
animals, children, funny,
I see a big fat spider
Crawling on my wall
Someone come and squash it
Before I start to bawl!!!
funny, imagination, insect, scary, visionary,
The Spiders home
So small so thin,
Do you ever think
Where's she's never been?
She spins her home
Then just waits
Hoping for a meal
At her gate.
You'll never see
A tear she might shed
For getting love
Her mate does dread.
Saunter to the web
Is what he must do
Hoping she doesn't
Turn him to stew.
A simple life
Like so very many
Exiled to ground
With legs so skinny.
Feared by many
When sneaking around
Kenneth Fordham 9-25-2017
I sit in chat room
Want to catch chatter in web
But not to eat them.
He abseiled from the ceiling
He rode a silken thread,
I blew a little breath his way
So back up he sped.
A plucky little fellow
He certainly was game.
He waited for a minute,
Then came back down again.
A black spider got stuck in his lair,
stuck firmly by his sticky black hair.
He ate a sweet bug
that crawled on his rug;
now he cannot get out of his chair.
Copyright © 2006 By Caryl S. Muzzey
Ram R. V.
While the fly can fly
And the spider can’t,
How is it that the spider
Eventually has the better of the fly?
She looks like death
Eatin on a crippled spider
With a voice like a banshee
And the face of a fighter
She stands in the garden
To keep the crows scared away
When she walks 'cross the floor
The house starts to sway
Medusa was a goddess
With snakes in her hair
But she's no goddess
I promise - I swear
You would have sympathy
If ever you saw
The woman I speak of
My dear Mother-in-Law
dark, humor, nursery rhyme,
An itsy bitsy spider
Is waiting for the rain
To drip its final droplets down
So he can weave his web again.
Next time he'll choose a better spot
Than that worn-out water spout.
It was damp and cramped
And the sun could never quite
Completely dry it out.
This web he'll string between two trees,
A fat oak and one much thinner.
Then with lacy, lethal table set,
The tiny spider will wait some more
To see who'll drop by for dinner.
I just looked at my ceiling
What do I see
A ruddy great spider web
Looking back at me
How the heck do they do it
This ones suspended in space
The beginning is a wall
The ceiling is its base.
Are they dead acrobats from the circus
Still showing what they can do
You think theyre after flies
But secretly spying on you
Or maybe just maybe
It knows its halloween
So want to frighten me to death
Whens they dangle in front of me.
So then mr spider
Take up thy bed and walk
I dont want u in my house
When u go you can take the mouse.
funny, imagination, mystery,
Spiderese starts with a sneeze
now that's your introduction.
Hand off a fly and wink your eye
a subtle sweet induction,
into the world of webby things
like dewdrops in the early spring
with twinkly notes you'll learn to sing
a spider serenade.
I'm looking for the antidote
to change the passage that I wrote
(at least she's not a surly goat)
and she loves lemonade.
Ms Purple likes the old cafe
she's gonna hang there everyday
until I figure out a way
to fix this mess I made.
animals, funny, imagination, introspection, life, nature, on work and working
The slugabed rarely moved upon his bed
While the spider slowly spun his web
Crisscrossing his web over slugabed's head
Gradually slowly working his woven tapestry with flow and ebb
Work, rest, check and test busy and rest
Web slowly spent all the ends tied and kept
Slugabed tried to raise his lazy head
Came eye to eye with spider and web instead
Moral of this story is: work_accomplish much, rest a little with some sleep on your bed
View and check your handiwork
Don't be a slugabed never raising your head
humor, image, insect, life, nature, satire, silly,
He lilts upon a silken bed,
gossamer beauty in his web,
a small figure of black and red,
cliché yes, but it must be said
that I am amazed by the sight,
glints of fleet, yellowed sunlight,
the strands wave as if in flight,
briefest flash of purest white…
But he spun his web in my
Woke up from the dream
I had last night
From 6' 2" to a spiders height
Stuck in the bath with polished sides
Tried to climb, all i could do was slide
Where do i go what do i do now
I'm so small i can hardly shout
What do i say, hey it's me down here
Any females that walk in, will they fear?
Not the dreaded punishment that's awaits our fall
Squashed flat, newspaper and all
Down the drain in a torrent of fear
As she screams, oh please don't come near
Thank the lord it was only a dream
A 6' 2" spider now that's a theme