Humorous and funny Sports poems and/or funny poems about Sports. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Sports funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Sports Poems.
The white charger's belly is bloated with hay
The helmet helm's rusted quite shut
The tack room door hinges are tearing away
The leather's un oiled and dry
The lance is still good
It is bracing the fence
but I traded the sword for a pen
I am presently seeking a page
So if you're still waiting
A Lochinvar ending of sorts
I shall purchase wild oats for the horse
I recall how to sow them of course
With hardly a shred of remorse
funeral, funny, sports,
While a man was golfing in Fife
a funeral cortege was arife,
his head bowed in prayer
at this somber affair
to pay last respects to his wife!
There once was an Olympic swimmer
Who accidently ate Viagra for dinner
His Speedo grew tight
He was awarded that night
A gold medal as the pole-vault winner
fun, giggle, sports,
This is a verse of new thoughts,
I've invented indoor sports,
Written in a poem of riddles,
Like, "What is Time for Tiddles?"
Why, it's wine with Mahjong,
Those tiles don't tarry long,
Then, it's "Drinks for Scrabble,"
With bevvies, we'll all dabble,
Or, "Come and try my beers,"
Many varieties over here,
New indoor sports, my dears!
family, funny, happiness, passion, people, sports, car,
My dream car is known to be one of muscle,
which can quickly get up and hustle.
The year would have to be nineteen hundred and Sixty nine,
best year of Camaro to come off the production line.
Orange in color with white racing stripes that line the hood,
along with new aluminum rims would be good.
Its engine would be a three twenty seven,
bearing a Holley Carb would be heaven.
To take it out on the road for a test,
assuredly it would be the best.
I would wash and wax it night and day,
in the garage is where it would stay.
Oh how that would be the car for me,
unfortunately one I’ll never see.
funny, me, race, sports,
If my horse on the race course
a winner for me
then the course for my race horse
makes me debt free.
So the beat of the mare's feet
makes me debt free
gold such a treat for this feat
a winner for me.
© Harry J Horsman 2012
football, fun, funny, humor, humorous, soccer, sports,
Pain in Spain
Shame in the game
Who do you blame
When your approach is lame
Three lions or three blind mice?
golf, humor, sports,
Was out playing golf just for fun
With Father O’Toole in the sun
When club from hand burst
Hit priest as he cursed
And I hit his first holy one
humorous, soccer, sports,
Working in physical education
Blond teacher had a realisation
Spotting a young boy alone
Standing all on his own
Her curiosity, frustration
Young man, why are you all on your own
To the others, why are you disowned
Well, I'm not the teams sweeper
I'm their bloody goalkeeper
Please Miss Coach, it's time you went home
funny, high school, sports,
Each child has talents and Dee always loved to skate
One night at the lake she was called up to the plate
The high school hockey team was “slip-sliding away”*
So call her a chauvinist; Dee wanted to play
But when the coach recruited her for the team
One boy offered a bottle of shaving cream
They couldn’t skate backward; Dee sure showed them how
Stealing their puck, she curtsied, and took a bow
Take it from Dee, men don’t like to be upstaged
By her free-flowing glide the boys were outraged
When it came time for the school’s holiday dance
To find a date, this skater hadn’t a chance
children, games, hockey, humorous, men, poems, sports,
They both wear black and white,
Sport’s fans will see some tonight,
As one type skates on frozen water,
The other keeps a herd in order.
The man can get caught up in media hype,
Each has the same angle of stripe,
Only one has them down to the toes,
And tries to out run the foes.
Seeing far away is their asset,
Always watching out for a threat,
While the other kind may need to hide,
Making some calls they seem crossed-eyed.
A zebra is born looking like this,
All the while, hoping their enemy will miss,
Linesmen and refs are known to make a bad call,
In the end, it could be a team’s down fall.
football, humor, sports,
We're angry! What sports fan can blame us?
There hasn't been one loss for Jameis
But off-the-field ruckus
Makes sportscasters muck us
Once famous, now Jameis just shames us
*Written about former FSU quarterback Jameis Winston's run ins with the law.
humor, people, poetry, sports,
Gymnastics and poetry are holding hands, they're falling head over heels in love.
John Derek Hamilton
December 09, 2015
Sheri Fresonke Harper
caregiving, devotion, funny, health, miracle, passion, sports, success,
Golfers ahead were really slow
because their dead balls just wouldn't go
we offered them beer,
later we found cheer--
they stepped aside to let it outflow.
No wonder his dropping balls are egg - shaped . He 's a veteran rugby player
Not for the contest but inspired by the Sports one liner contest : )
Here is my next sports rap poem. Jim
Round of Applause
Already now I must admit
What is it we have to hit?
How about homer with baseball
Not strike three they did call.
Why fool around and always fret
Should kick a goal into the net
Don't continue to turn and toss
Should go at and play Lacrosse.
How about football you will boot
Run and produce a lot of loot
Or hear those in high society
Prefer polo and love rugby.
No matter where chips may fall
God's life in you will be a ball
And who if in always do believe
Round of applause will receive.
WOW. Double WOW, and Triple WOW.
James Thomas Horn
funny, sports, golf,
I learned to golf the following way;
That after each stroke you shout, ‘foreplay!’
Then when you get up
You shoot for the cup,
And if asked give an instant replay.
For Craig's Golf Limerick contest
beach, humorous, sports,
Bikini clad babes bouncing on a beach, a VERY popular spectator sport!
Contest – Sport One Liners
Sponsor – Silent One
My passion for fishing is well known
But sometimes my catch brings a huge groan
Octopus clung to my boat
Dolphins around me did gloat
The queen of the sea had been dethroned
Sadly, a true story for Royal’s Favorite Sport challenge.
It took my 10 minutes to try and pry the octopus from
the back of the boat. Each time I pulled up one arm,
it slapped down another one. They have suction cups on
their arms. My article “Octopus on Board” was
published in Florida Wildlife magazine.
humorous, nature, sports,
If yer one and only wish is to catch one really big fish,
Then ya need ta stop bait'n fer minners.
If you'd read my first book you'd use a big hook,
An'a bait big n'uf fer yer dinners.
It might take ye' awhile, but if fishin's yer style,
Ya might catch 'im with one week 'o fishin'.
It's well worth the wait when a hawg takes yer bait,
An' th' catch is as big as yer wishin'!
Seattle Seahawks Haiku
Off in cloud of dust
Was it do or die or bust
Possibly a must
This was Seahawks game
All full of fortune and fame
For loss who should blame
Guess is good as mine
When you are so far behind
Throw pass be so kind
Guess that should be salt
After game came to a halt
Was a big insult
Two games with no win
Hope will not happen again
Did fan I offend
You have football blues
Seahawks haiku sure could use
For both me and youse
funny, car, old, car, old, sports,
My very first car was, I think,
a Monza, which was rosy pink.
At a somewhat cheap price,
that old sports car was nice,
but my luck with her sure did stink!
Cleaned and polished, she was looking fine;
I was happy to claim her as mine
although she was such
a hog! On too much
gasoline that old sports car would dine!
On a big trip I took her; I cried
to find out that her engine was fried.
From a crack in her block
she stopped working. Tick Tock!
Time is short; in six weeks she had died!
funny, satire, social, sports,
What gospels on sunday afternoon
Are four quarters male members tune
With flat screens on wall?
The chair-men want football
And shall yell like a wild baboon
Author's note: This poem was inspired by Lori Hopkin's "This ones for the guys" which is worth a good look. My apologies to all baboons who are much gentler and finer than I. Sad to resort to using their species as a stereotype just for the sake of a rhyme.
This is not a Sports Limerick ; For Jan's Limerick Contest .
My Limerick will not mention Sports .
Either pitches , golf courses or courts .
'Cept cranky old farts
Who like playing darts
With no fuss in a truss of supports .
Sorry guys , I just couldn't resist it !
Happy Christmas to all the talented writers here , and to those who passed comment on my "ramblings" . May your pens be sharp/witty and bountiful for 2016
hilarious, horse, metaphor, race, sexy, sports, word play,
She opened her legs then hopped up on it
She gripped it tight then sat down on it
He started to move so she began to ride it
She loved the feeling cuz she enjoyed it
She pulled out the whip to show that she was master
And when she swung it he began to go faster
She started to scream at the top of her voice
For the way he made her feel her voice got so hoarse
After a thirty minute run he started to tire
For this horse was no longer young he was ready to retire