Funny Poems About Stoned or Stoned Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Stoned poems and/or funny poems about Stoned. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Stoned funny poems!

Written by Virginia Mitchell
Categories: funny

Stoned

Stone Age Marble stone Stone mason One stone left unturned Stone cold Tombstone Stoned

Written by Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories: animal, dog, funny, hilarious, humor, pets

Stoned Chihuahua

I'm baked
I'm baked
One toke is all it taked.


Written by John Lawless
Categories: humor,

Stoned In Stonehenge - Footle

Stoned in Stonehenge


Fluid
Druid



8/19/2014
for Andrea Dietrich
Let’s Keep Footling Around contest

Written by George Aul
Categories: humorous,

Stoned

I went barefoot and stepped on a stone,
my gait went haywire and I was thrown,
while I was stumbling sideways,
police thought I'm in a haze...
"Honest officer, there's no homegrown!"

Written by Megan Wang
Categories: appreciation, funny, writing,

Stoned Age

Off the clock
The world still spins 
As I blaze blithely by. 

Time is not always wasted, 
wasting away with you,
my quasi-legal muse.

Roulette of the senses,
Not always passive, 
Surrealist creativity often surpasses
the lazy stigma that sticks to you. 

Unfortunately, there is no free lunch,
though a few diluted senses seem sensible severance 
for a peek into my subconscious repartee.

Freed, I flee from conventional thought 
spinning visceral, ritual spellbinding tales untaught.   

Relieving tensions of the day,
pen takes to paper in the most harmonious way,
singing sweet verbiage I wouldn’t usually play.


Written by David Drowley
Categories: drug, humorous, word play,

Stoned

There once was a fellow named Lurch 
Who attended a Cannabis church.
Lurch listened not to preaching;
For ignoring church teaching
He got stoned in a grove of birch.

Written by Esha Sharan
Categories: funny, giggle, poetry, simple, society,

Stoned

looking at a stone 
I smile appreciating 
earning title stoned.

Written by Gershon Wolf
Categories: education, food, fun, humorous, irony, nostalgia

Too Stoned to Care, circa 1969


   Too stoned to care
     wild eyes and hair
   My friend and I dare
     to order four pizzas

   Where are your friends
     the manager inquired
   Oh, they’ll be here in a bit
     our tongues purebred liars  

   Well, we snarfed down the pizzas
     though ‘our friends’ never showed
   So, when we asked the proprietor
     how much we owed… 

   He told us $200 bucks
     ‘coz it’s just your good luck
   to meet up with a fellow sleaze
     who understands your ‘munchies’
       ~ and has already contacted the fuzz


Written by John Lawless
Categories: fantasy, humor,

Stoned In the Park

Stoned in the Park

I sat beside a statue in the park
We listened to a dog’s incessant bark

And then I swear I saw him turn his head
To ask which one of us was really dead

I shared with him a sandwich cut in half
He said “I can’t remember my last laugh”

I asked “who did the paint job on your nails”
“a couple who are now in separate jails”

He was a famous man now turned to stone
A witness to the world with no cell phone

As I arose he sighed a bit too loud
A stone faced angel lost without a cloud

I walked away in silence, shed a tear
Now being turned to stone is what I fear

John G. Lawless
5/11/2021