Humorous and funny Success poems and/or funny poems about Success. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Success funny poems!
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
career, funny, humor, hyperbole, jobs, success
Will Do Chores
I can do this, I can do that
I can do anything, splicketty-splat.
I'm quite the expert, and certainly quick
Excellent service here, licketty-click.
Your toaster won't roast'er?
Your car needs repair?
I'll fix your teepee,
your sofa and chair
I'll cure your doggy
of fleas, lice, and pox
I'll wash your diapers,
your windows, your socks.
I'm inexpensive, and fast as a wink
Available any time, blinkity-blink.
Written by
Wendy Watson
Categories:
funny, moon, success,
One Step Ahead
Neil Armstrong shot off to the moon
Strapped into a cosmic cocoon.
He came to renown
When one foot went down
Ahead of poor Buzz -what a boon!
But as they returned to home base,
Buzz had a big smile on his face.
For there on the sea
Of tranquility
He'd aced the first 'selfie' in space!
21/08/18
celebrity limerick contest entry
Sponsored by: Tania Kitchin
Written by
Mike Gentile
Categories:
happiness, happy, humor, humorous, sea, success
Oh That Suzy
If Suzy sells sea shells at the sea shore
and has supposedly sold them for some time
after all these years,
Why hasn’t Suzy had the sense to save some coin
or secure herself a real job
So surely, you say, I should let Suzy be
to sell her damn sea shells all day by the sea
It’s silly but she’s simply squealing with glee
With sunshine and shells,
she’s much smarter than me
Written by
Anne-Lise Andresen
Categories:
body, humor, image, success,
- Haiku X 109 - Catwalk -
The man of the year
Much weightlifting and six pack
Suffer for beauty
- 03.04.2017
- Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
- Copyright © All Rights Reserved
- www.howmanysyllables.com - Haiku 5-7-5
Written by
Arthur Vaso
Categories:
humorous, metaphor, mothers day, success, water,
I Am a Genius
I am who I was born to be
Another voice of sanity
Maybe crazy, but do you know?
Art nouveau, in words I paint
Greatness of the pen, this is me
Eternal thoughts into ink I write
Nothing escapes this brilliant mind
I compose for those who see, and those whom are blind
Universal wisdom's, happiness in verse
Salvation or wine, the poison is free
Written by
Volodymyr Knyr
Categories:
business, funny, humorous, jobs, success, work
The Best Job
Your own successful biz,
that's what your best job is!
Volodymyr Knyr
2014
Written by
Lycia Harding
Categories:
computer, education, funny, success, wisdom,
Learn Something
========================
Do you feel like each day is the same?
Do all things, every person, each glitch
you encounter seem boring and lame?
Is the rut you're in more like a ditch?
When you want to rekindle the flame,
let the internet help you enrich
your existence and soon you'll reclaim
that old joy you felt filling your niche.
If you yearn to get back in the game
learn to use the new tools that exist.
If you don't, you'll be solely to blame.
So, log on now and Google it, b&tch!
========================
Written by
John Lawless
Categories:
humor, success, wisdom,
Existential Awareness
existential awareness
existential thought
selfishly reminding me
breathe in – breathe out
John G. Lawless
6/20/2015
submitted to – Senryu on Your Own Existence
sponsor – Marvin Celestial
Written by
Keith Bickerstaffe
Categories:
funny
Dressed For Success!
...for Juvie's 'moose'
Her moose is loose and wanderin',
her peace of mind he's squanderin',
if he don't get back here
sometime later this year,
she'll just hafta do her own launderin'!
Written by
Keith Bickerstaffe
Categories:
humor,
Dressed For Success
Her moose is loose and wandering,
her peace of mind he's squandering,
if he don't get back here
sometime later this year,
she'll just have to do her own laundering!
********
...my friend Juvie and her missing muse!
Written by
Roy Pett
Categories:
humor, me, stress, success,
Flat Pack Viv 1 Me 0
Exceptional thought entered my old head
sure this was an excellent idea
when discussed with my wife filled her with dread
so drove to ikea, showing no fear
Supplied with television cabinet
loaded my car, staff so good, never rude
bought with pride definitely no regret
Viewed how to easily build on YouTube,
now at home bits all over the lounge floor
blank, total dismay, talking to myself
where's this go, how does that fit, I'm not sure
is this top, bottom, or is it a shelf,
hours went by, couldn't do it to save my life
put together in minutes by my wife.
A tribute to Viv Wigley :- regarding his blog on his flat pack success versus my failure.
Written by
Michelle Born
Categories:
care, hate, humor, irony, jealousy, success
The Reality
Tread lightly and always be aware
That there will always be jealousy out there,
Their whole world evolves around what they want and need
By criticizing others for their likes and not just greed,
To many haters are jealous of others success
So they are not happy and then get depressed,
Because they are lazy and don't want to work
They are to blame so they acted like jerks.
Written By: Unique Poetry 2015
Written by
Dr. Robert Ippaso
Categories:
allegory, humor, parody, political, satire, success
St George and the Dragon - In Boris' Own Words On Winning the Uk Election
I wielded my sword
And slayed the foul dragon,
Then crammed the vile beast
Right back in his flagon.
Pickled and sodden
There will he lie
Few to remember
Fewer to cry.
Obnoxious his deeds,
Destructive his breath,
His venom pervasive,
So glad for his death.
Now we can harness
Our thoughts and our prayers,
Be kind and productive
Not just dragon slayers.
This noble island
This hallowed soil,
So very much more
Than one man’s spoil.
Let the healing commence,
Work as one to achieve,
A country in which
We all so believe.
A land of invention,
Of Shakespeare and Keats,
Of boundless endeavor,
Whose heart strongly beats.
Written by
Andrew Battaglino
Categories:
funny, success, boy,
Boy From Troy
Boy From Troy
There once was a boy from Troy
That Unisys would not employ
He said he really didn't care
he'd find work elsewhere
Now he's working for Henkels and McCoy
Written by
P.S. Awtry
Categories:
funny, life, success, truth,
Do Do Wins
I do not intend to offend.
But it occurs to me,
in the end
it’s not those who can do
yet don’t do,
but those who do
do who win!
11/17/2018
Written by
Just Jane
Categories:
funny, poets, success,
What's In a Name
That just sounds like another Que,
But I guess it will have to Dew.
Standing on the stage with Mi throat too Di,
I could almost start to cry.
But then I saw Hugh in the crowd
And almost laughed out loud.
Your nerves were Wilder than mine
Which reminded me of my punch line.
After Al was said and done,
I did have a Lot of fun.
I couldn’t Wade for my next Turner,
If Edwin, I’d take my career further.
Written by
L Milton Hankins
Categories:
fun, humorous, success, word play, writing,
Confidence
I am working on a new anthology
Which I will publish eventually,
If my editors view it approvingly
But, if not, I want their apology,
For they don’t recognize quality
And they won’t like me, probably,
When my book gains notoriety,
And I become a huge celebrity!
Written August 24, 2022
Written by
Panagiota Romios
Categories:
humor, success,
On Winning
It begins with a belief.
Despite all odds, that it's a fait accompli.
The nabobs of negativity
Hang like ominous bats from a ceiling.
They screech nothing but loss.
Their lives lived as a game of ring-toss!
It's quite comical for winners,
To watch competitors become their own social dinners.
Eating crow, is made for haters.
Winners sump on champagne, steak and sour creamed 'taters!
11-2-2020
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
clothes, environment, humorous,
Eileen Wasn'T Flushed With Success
She urgently needed to pooh
No paper, what should Eileen do
She took off her drawers
And used them of course
Then disposed of them down the loo
Her knickers then blocked up the drains
Some plumbers found brown stained remains
So when you're using a loo
Just flush wee, paper and pooh
It's easy, folks should use their brains
Inspired by a story on sky news
4/24/18
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
horse, humor, success,
Equestrian First-Class
To become an equestrian first-class
Jerry had to learn to ride on the grass
He took off the saddle
The equus skedaddled
Poor Jerry! He thought 'bareback' meant bare-hass
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
giggle, humor, money, success, word play,
Sonny Won At Power-Ball
Oh, have I ever got great news, Sonny!
What is it, my dearest darling honey?
You won at Power-ball
It was Winner-Take-All
Knowing you, I'd say "Urine the Money"
Written by
David Drowley
Categories:
beauty, humorous, magic, success, woman,
Predicatble
In confidence, at three-card Monte when I'd choose,
A complete mark, I found myself destined to lose.
Pulling rabbits out of hats I was just a twit;
As a rank amateur whose hand always got bit.
Many times, I stacked poker decks to force an Ace
But wound up, predictably, with red on my face.
Underneath shiny tin cups, I shuffled dry peas
But bumbled badly with high regularity.
"Predictable" my friends told me since I was ten
Because I lost so oft, even I said “Amen.”
Asked one time to saw a woman in half and then
To quickly put back her beauteous halves again.
Instead, I swept her up my arms, asking to wed;
Unpredictably, to me it was “yes,” she said.
12/04/2019
Written by
Bill Lindsay
Categories:
funny, wisdom,
Rules For Success
Two
rules will
guarantee you
live a successful life –
1. Don’t reveal all you know.
Written by
Simon Hamill
Categories:
funny, humorous, nice, smart, success, wife
My Turn To Cook
My wife said to me
She didn't feel well,
And if I don't mind, would I cook.
I told her to lay down
And have a good rest,
While I get my new cookery book.
So she went to lie down,
And I went for my book.
Oh what a surprise,
I was in luck.
Hiding behind my new cookery book
Was a menu from a good takeaway.
So I waited an hour,
Then sprinkled some flour,
Then ordered a pizza,that day!
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
food, health, humor, success,
Success At Last
Julie tried every diet known to man
Weight-Watchers, Atkins, Keto, SOTA (State of the Art)
Low-carb, hi-protein, even vegan
Nothing worked; Julie gained weight
So she began to exercise madly
Which just made her menstruate late
Fed-up with it all, Julie took one last chance
She decided a starvation diet was needed
~ And she succeeded