Humorous and funny Suicide poems and/or funny poems about Suicide. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Suicide funny poems!
Written by
Anthony Scandrick Ii
Categories:
anniversary, baby, beautiful, beauty, caregiving, child, childhood, confusion, courage, dark, dedication, depression, devotion, freedom, goodbye, graduation, growing up, happiness, hope, humorous, lonely, lost love, love, mystery, passion, satire, slam, sorrow, sorry, success, suicide, teen, thank you, uplifting, write,
Dear Michelle
You almost had me,
I wanted you,
The way you stuck to me like super glue,
I was feeling you,
But I knew,
I could never have you,
But, the way you looked at me,
The way my body pleads,
We can never be,
Because I’m too old,
And your only thirteen.
Written by
Rainer Loveiam
Categories:
funny,
Suicide Tourism In Switzerland
A paradise
You enter the country
Someone will follow you
And kill you gently
In a dark alley
Paradise never was so relaxed
Written by
Larisa Rzhepishevska
Categories:
funny, satire, suicide,
Lost a Hope
If you lost a hope
here is a nice fluffy rope
and a scented soap.
©LR
Written by
A.O. Taner
Categories:
absence, break up, confidence, death, feelings, funny, i am, i love you, inspirational, leaving, loneliness, lost love, love, moving on, psychological, recovery from, relationship, suicide, true love, wife,
End
Only then you're done,
when you end the ending;
leave the closure to others,
that way it's much more fun.
Written by
Linda Hays-Gibbs
Categories:
death, depression, eulogy, farewell, feelings, giggle, suicide,
Funny Man
Funny Man!
By Linda Hays-Gibbs
Oh funny man you touch the hardest heart
With messages to crumble and start
A snickering or flickering to spark
A laugh a full belly rumbler
A genius of illogical and logical matter
Without him the whole world is astronomically sadder
Oh let our grief someday subside
That we in heaven will find
A bench upfront to see his latest comedic job ( I pray)
The jester (Robin Williams) at heaven's court for God
Written by
Blake Holland
Categories:
addiction, allusion, angel, anger, art, celebration, confusion, crazy, depression, desire, earth, emotions, fantasy, fear, feelings, freedom, god, grief, health, humanity, humorous, image, imagination, life, loneliness, love, magic, music, nonsense, peace, planet, political, poverty, power, pride, psychological, sound, space, spiritual, stars, stress, suicide, sympathy, teen, usa, wisdom, world,
An Aquarian Exposition
Take the pill
on the hill
and don't be shrill
when you see the rainbow
when you are low.
Just go with the flow
and eat the purple snow.
Chase the rabbits
through the green field
but use my shield
to end all of your habits.
Written by
Jack Clark
Categories:
funny, hilarious, humor, humorous,
Slow Suicide
McNeer couldn’t take it no mo’
By rope-in-tree he would go
- Nerve’s gone I fear
- It’s been near a year
(He’s waitin’ for the saplin’ to grow!)
Written by
Raven Tones
Categories:
absence, dark, depression, goodbye, humorous, metaphor, suicide,
Pavement Pancake
Slowly We Are All Falling,
Some Just Quicker Than Others,
Some Will Have An Arm To Grab Before Hitting Bottom,
Some Never Bothered To Pack A Parashute,
And The Others Are Just Enjoying The Fresh Air On The Way Down,
Awaiting To Become A Pavement Pancake
If we have a hand to hold us we may never had fallen
And if we had an ear lent someone would have heard cries for help
My parachute is broken, no ever listened, and the held let go of me
Before we, land the only thing left to think is,
i wonder if anyone has any maple syrup
Written by
Mark J. Halliday
Categories:
depression, humorous, psychological, self, suicide, visionary, wisdom,
Escape To Nowhere
My reality sucks.
What's the point of being sane?
....................................................................................Can't escape myself.
Written by
Teddy Kimathi
Categories:
art, crazy, funny, philosophy, suicide,
Philosopher's Elegy
Prof. Twittie died from an
experiment; like and unlike Socrates, he intentionally
took hemlock, to see how the afterlife looks like
He intended to return
to the physical world after his
observations, which he didn't
For a century now, no one following
Prof. Twittie’s school of thought
has yet dared to take poison,
in order to return with Prof. Twittie
back to the physical world,
and finally conclude their findings
in pen and print
Written by
Whit Deschner
Categories:
animal, humorous, life, simile, suicide,
The Lemming
The lemming’s way
Is like Hemingway's
Written by
Suraj Singh
Categories:
goodbye, humor, i am, sorrow, sorry, strength, suicide,
Questions For You
One day I'll be gone
I guess I'm not wrong.
I have few questions for you
Answer them when you have time
But without a single crime this time.
Would you cry?
Would you even try?
Would you ever ask yourself why?
Would you say its such a waste?
Would you wonder at the haste?
Written by
Austin Hale
Categories:
death, depression, funny, life,
Suicide
You told me to do whatever it takes to be happy.
I'm just following your advice. :)
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
death, depression, fun, humor, sad, silly, suicide,
Suicide Note Is World's Shortest Poem
I
Die.
Written by
Kathy Lundy Derengowski
Categories:
age, food, humor, suicide,
Saved By the Dinner Bell
Saved by the (Dinner) Bell
So there’s the old woman lying in bed
with a Bible in hand and a gun to her head
She can’t see the point in waiting to die.
and is eagerly plotting her final good-bye.
But aromas of dinner are filling the room
with their mystical way of dispelling the gloom.
So she thinks she will wait until after the meal
(And admit it or not, that is how we all feel.)
That life is much brighter and problems are solved
that life is worth living, when food is involved!
Written by
Vladimir Tumanov
Categories:
humorous, suicide,
Rope
If you’re poor and have spent your last ducat,
you might end it by kicking the bucket.
But bereft of all hope,
should you hang from a rope?
I say buckets and ropes can go suck it.
Written by
Fred Jagenberg
Categories:
childhood, fairy, humor, imagination, suicide,
Peter Pan
Famous garb of tighty-tights
In flying high a child delights
To never have a crappy day
He smiles and floats and flies away
Propensity to lie ingrained
From that moment mind constrained
If only we could fly again
The smile would surely follow
Old and tested never tried
Life a disappointing ride
Until the day that I decide
To be like Peter Pan
Written by
Billy Thekidster
Categories:
dark, humor, suicide,
Failed Suicide
I once decided to commit suicide,
so I jumped off of the top of a Manhattan high rise.
As I plunged to my fate I screamed out and cried,
"I never finished anything ever in my life!"
I was about to hit the ground when a bus struck me.
"How appropriate," I thought prior to being deceased.
"I couldn't even finish my own suicide the way I planned it to be."
Written by
Keith Dovoric
Categories:
abuse, age, drink, humorous, metaphor, poverty, suicide,
Don't Stop Beating Yourself Up
All of the failures are mine
All the successes are theirs
I cannot stop ordering wine
I keep rearranging the chairs
Don’t stop
Don’t stop
Don’t stop beating yourself up
Should you go to Malaysia,
You best prepare to be caned
If you listen to Erasure
May need to have your earwax drained
If you prop up yourself as a hero,
Better get yourself a high steel box
‘Cause here in the Land
of Absolute Zero,
They only listen to the aftershocks
Don’t stop
Don’t stop
Don’t stop beating yourself up
‘Cause that wouldn’t be right
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
humor, irony, relationship, suicide,
Addiction Fiction
I'm addicted to talking
perhaps you're addicted to listening
How about I talk your ear off
And you -- O, my, that won't work, will it...