Funny Poems About Suicide or Suicide Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Suicide poems and/or funny poems about Suicide. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Suicide funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Suicide Poems.

Poem Details | by Anthony Scandrick II |
Categories: anniversary, baby, beautiful, beauty, caregiving, child, childhood, confusion, courage, dark, dedication, depression, devotion, freedom, goodbye, graduation, growing up, happiness, hope, humorous, lonely, lost love, love, mystery, passion, satire, slam, sorrow, sorry, success, suicide, teen, thank you, uplifting, write,

Dear Michelle

You almost had me,
I wanted you,
The way you stuck to me like super glue,
I was feeling you,
But I knew,
I could never have you,
But, the way you looked at me,
The way my body pleads,
We can never be,
Because I’m too old,
And your only thirteen.

Poem Details | by RAINER LOVEIAM |
Categories: funny,

Suicide tourism in Switzerland

A paradise
You enter the country
Someone will follow you
And kill you gently
In a dark alley
Paradise never was so relaxed

Poem Details | by Larisa Rzhepishevska |
Categories: funny, satire, suicide,

Lost a Hope

If you lost a hope
here is a nice fluffy rope
and a scented soap.


Poem Details | by A.O. Taner |
Categories: absence, break up, confidence, death, feelings, funny, i am, i love you, inspirational, leaving, loneliness, lost love, love, moving on, psychological, recovery from, relationship, suicide, true love, wife,


Only then you're done,
when you end the ending;
leave the closure to others,
that way it's much more fun. 

Poem Details | by Jack Clark |
Categories: funny, hilarious, humor, humorous,

Slow Suicide

McNeer couldn’t take it no mo’
By rope-in-tree he would go
 - Nerve’s gone I fear
 - It’s been near a year
(He’s waitin’ for the saplin’ to grow!)

Poem Details | by Linda Hays-Gibbs |
Categories: death, depression, eulogy, farewell, feelings, giggle, suicide,

Funny Man

Funny Man!
By Linda Hays-Gibbs
Oh funny man you touch the hardest heart
With messages to crumble and start
A snickering or flickering to spark 
A laugh a full belly rumbler
A genius of illogical and logical matter
Without him the whole world is astronomically sadder
Oh let our grief someday subside 
That we in heaven will find 
A bench upfront to see his latest comedic job ( I pray)
The jester (Robin Williams) at heaven's court for God 

Poem Details | by Blake Holland |
Categories: addiction, allusion, angel, anger, art, celebration, confusion, crazy, depression, desire, earth, emotions, fantasy, fear, feelings, freedom, god, grief, health, humanity, humorous, image, imagination, life, loneliness, love, magic, music, nonsense, peace, planet, political, poverty, power, pride, psychological, sound, space, spiritual, stars, stress, suicide, sympathy, teen, usa, wisdom, world,

An Aquarian Exposition

Take the pill
on the hill
and don't be shrill
when you see the rainbow
when you are low.
Just go with the flow
and eat the purple snow.
Chase the rabbits 
through the green field
but use my shield 
to end all of your habits.

Poem Details | by Raven Tones |
Categories: absence, dark, depression, goodbye, humorous, metaphor, suicide,

Pavement Pancake

Slowly We Are All Falling, 

Some Just Quicker Than Others, 

Some Will Have An Arm To Grab Before Hitting Bottom, 

Some Never Bothered To Pack A Parashute, 

And The Others Are Just Enjoying The Fresh Air On The Way Down, 

Awaiting To Become A Pavement Pancake

If we have a hand to hold us we may never had fallen

And if we had an ear lent someone would have heard cries for help

My parachute is broken, no ever listened, and the held let go of me

Before we, land the only thing left to think is, 

i wonder if anyone has any maple syrup

Poem Details | by Mark J. Halliday |
Categories: depression, humorous, psychological, self, suicide, visionary, wisdom,

Escape to nowhere

My reality sucks.
What's the point of being sane?
....................................................................................Can't escape myself.

Poem Details | by Teddy Kimathi |
Categories: art, crazy, funny, philosophy, suicide,

Philosopher's Elegy

Prof. Twittie died from an
experiment; like and unlike Socrates, he intentionally
took hemlock, to see how the afterlife looks like

He intended to return
to the physical world after his
observations, which he didn't

For a century now, no one following
Prof. Twittie’s school of thought
has yet dared to take poison,
in order to return with Prof. Twittie
back to the physical world,
and finally conclude their findings
in pen and print

Poem Details | by Suraj Singh |
Categories: goodbye, humor, i am, sorrow, sorry, strength, suicide,

Questions For You

One day I'll be gone
I guess I'm not wrong. 
I have few questions for you
Answer them when you have time
But without a single crime this time. 
Would you cry? 
Would you even try? 
Would you ever ask yourself why? 
Would you say its such a waste? 
Would you wonder at the haste?

Poem Details | by Jessica Amanda Salmonson |
Categories: death, depression, fun, humor, sad, silly, suicide,

Suicide Note Is World's Shortest Poem


Poem Details | by Austin Hale |
Categories: death, depression, funny, life,


You told me to do whatever it takes to be happy. I'm just following your advice. :)

Poem Details | by Whit Deschner |
Categories: animal, humorous, life, simile, suicide,


The lemming’s way
Is like Hemingway's

Poem Details | by Kathy Lundy Derengowski |
Categories: age, food, humor, suicide,

Saved by the Dinner Bell

 Saved by the (Dinner) Bell

So there’s the old woman lying in bed

with a Bible in hand and a gun to her head

She can’t see the point in waiting to die.

and is eagerly plotting her final good-bye.

But aromas of dinner are filling the room

with their mystical way of dispelling the gloom.

So she thinks she will wait until after the meal

(And admit it or not, that is how we all  feel.)

That life is much brighter and problems are solved

that life is worth living, when food is involved!

Poem Details | by Vladimir Tumanov |
Categories: humorous, suicide,


If you’re poor and have spent your last ducat, you might end it by kicking the bucket. But bereft of all hope, should you hang from a rope? I say buckets and ropes can go suck it.

Poem Details | by Fred Jagenberg |
Categories: childhood, fairy, humor, imagination, suicide,

Peter Pan

Famous garb of tighty-tights In flying high a child delights To never have a crappy day He smiles and floats and flies away Propensity to lie ingrained From that moment mind constrained If only we could fly again The smile would surely follow Old and tested never tried Life a disappointing ride Until the day that I decide To be like Peter Pan

Poem Details | by Billy TheKidster |
Categories: dark, humor, suicide,

Failed Suicide

I once decided to commit suicide,
so I jumped off of the top of a Manhattan high rise.
As I plunged to my fate I screamed out and cried,
"I never finished anything ever in my life!"
I was about to hit the ground when a bus struck me.
"How appropriate," I thought prior to being deceased.
"I couldn't even finish my own suicide the way I planned it to be."

Poem Details | by Keith Dovoric |
Categories: abuse, age, drink, humorous, metaphor, poverty, suicide,

Don't Stop Beating Yourself up

All of the failures are mine
All the successes are theirs
I cannot stop ordering wine
I keep rearranging the chairs

Don’t stop
Don’t stop
Don’t stop beating yourself up

Should you go to Malaysia,
You best prepare to be caned
If you listen to Erasure
May need to have your earwax drained

If you prop up yourself as a hero,
Better get yourself a high steel box
‘Cause here in the Land
of Absolute Zero,
They only listen to the aftershocks

Don’t stop
Don’t stop
Don’t stop beating yourself up

‘Cause that wouldn’t be right