Humorous and funny Sweet poems and/or funny poems about Sweet. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Sweet funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Sweet Poems.
humorous, marriage, relationship, romance,
She whispered sweet nothings in his ear
He seemed so pleased, she’d nothing to fear
So odd, thought she, he never liked this before
And now with his smile, he clearly wants more…
If you can keep a secret, dear reader, I’ll tell you, says he
I’ve gone deaf as a doorpost; nothing irritates me
I just keep this silly smile glued to my face
Nod my head sometimes too, just in case…
Poet Destroyer A
adventure, caregiving, celebration, confusion, desire, feelings, funny, humor, identity, life, october,
Sweet and Sour hectic sign
Love me, trust me, the stars align
Balance of truth and dare
Good and Evil, full of care
Blind when it comes to blood line
(WITH APOLOGIES TO SHAKESPEARE)
Oh farting is such a sweet sorrow
“I’m sorry but that’s not my barrow!”
My seatmate’s nose in the air,
I act dumb and even glare~
but just then I give another blow.
-Penned due to my irrepressible urge to respond to Jan and BL's posts-
KIM PATRICE NUNEZ
07 March 2015
Robert L. Hinshaw
funny, passionmay, me,
"I've loved thee since I first saw thee as an adorable egg in thy nest!
Wouldst that thee would deign to marry me and put my pining heart at rest!
I hold thy delicate talon in my beak awaiting with bated breath,
For thine answer to my plea to be my beloved until parted by death!"
"All that I have to offer thee is a cozy nest in yon apple tree,
Safe from prowling cats and mean little kids to raise a family!
Please give me thy answer ere the sun sinks slowly in the west,
That I may begin to build thy dream home, thy cozy little nest!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Honorable Mention in Francine Roberts' "Enough" Contest - May 2011
family, food, horse, humorous,
There is my sweet Aunt Mabel
sitting across the table
ever since her divorce
she eats like a horse
so we put her up in a stable
M. L. Kiser
animal, cat, humor, pets, poems, poetry,
Ah, sweet slumber of nip-laden dreams;
the milk of mother moon bestowed,
a blessed drink and lactose-free
to this mine humble, feline throat.
Running freely through outer space,
I touch upon thy blessed universe.
My home of emerald and lapis lace,
is where in I lay in furred repose.
Chasing neon rainbows in nebulae bright,
my dreams are filled with gold doubloons.
I’ll spend them on treats and nip-delight,
and chase away any greedy tycoons.
A feline black as obsidian night,
in a home filled with human love;
among the faeries and tree sprites,
mind flies just like the doves.
JAN writes her poems
With humor and care
She brings out laughter every where
Her humor is beyond compare
Her sounds are as sweet as honey
She makes me laugh in my tummy
She lives on an isle with men
No wonder her humor
Is so Funny
JSLambert Mister ROBOTO
funny, happiness, lost love, passion, people, romance, i love you,
Where'd you go?
oh where did you go
my precious camel toe?
played me like a fiddle
with your bubbly middle
you're such a skanky hoe
but I love you so
we had magic
we had fire
purple sweatpants my desire
come back camel toe
victory! camel toe
you're the villain
you're the winner
with your puffy
you're my sassy hoe
you're my Christmas snow
gone like cold wind blows
with your return
my member grows
I miss my camel toe
where'd you go?
beautiful, cheer up, computer, desire, destiny, devotion, emotions, encouraging, fantasy, feelings, funny, future, humorous, i love you, love, love hurts, math, meaningful, metaphor, miss you, mystery, passion, relationship, romance, romantic, sad love, school, science, science fiction, silly, social, sweet, teacher, together, true love, truth, uplifting, visionary, word play,
One is love,
Zero is everything else.
fun, humor, sweet,
who is five years
They come out
of his mouth at night
He looked quite
stunned and shocked
Of all things ...
he gets a little scared
for what could happen
With his mouth full
A-L Andresen 15.06.2015 :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
funny, smile, sweet,
A life like a pig
Warm bath in my pink teacup
Is full of regret
A-L Andresen :)
angel, beauty, blue, body, cute love, desire, feelings, giggle, girl, hello, hope, humorous, lust, relationship, romance, sexy, song, sweet, together, uplifting, woman,
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
You're just so damn sexy,
That's why I'm hittin' on you.
You don't have to love me,
Some good sex will do.
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
Yes, you turned me on
When I saw you walk in...
The face of an Angel,
A body just made for Sin.
Now, I may be real horny,
But one thing is true:
What would satisfy me, Girl
Would be to satisfy You.
So please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You;
And I hope that you're fallin'
In Lust with me too;
But if not, then please fake it,
Please don't leave me "blue"...
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
candy, change, desire, food, kids, funny, house, husband, imagination, mystery, poems, senses, sweet,
The taste of homemade Carmel so sweet/ everyone I know desires the treat.
After one night in the kitchen covered/ half the pan gone, next morning discovered.
Is it my beagle Lily whom loves any food? / she seems in a hyper beagle mood.
I know I heard a squeak in the night / a dream ? No, for low was the kitchen light.
T'was my husband, for he can't resist/ soft , buttered brown sugar , a Vanilla twist.
animal, encouraging, food, funny, health, humorous, sweet,
The angry learner chef
A discerning chap
Leers at how he's going to cook
That special meal he likes
In which pot shall he make his Asian delight
No one goes near
When he's about to take a turn
Stay calm little chef!
It's only an onion
It won't make you cry
If handle it properly
Make no mistake
We'll Stand well back and instruct
Even applause when you've made your dish!
chocolate, food, funny, sweet,
I slowly cut a corner off my prize
No cause to hurry, see I at this time
To savor, such a treat sees no despise
If one knows not this joy, that is a crime
The layers compliment this god-like cream
The smooth caress of chocolate is joy
The combination is much like a dream
My senses it so fully does employ
I do not need a house or any clothes
My mind is full of thoughts only to know
When next taste I the sweetness of my rose
But I would wait a hundred years of snow
If love is like this sweet patisserie,
I think my life consists of it and me.
Here’s the best thing you should know,
if ever to Australia you go.
Don’t ever wind up as a feast,
for this voracious reptilian beast.
For your reasoning surely would be faulty,
if you ever “muck about” with a “SALTY”.
And don’t think he was born with a tooth that’s “SWEET”.
To him you are just another piece of meat.
So if you must visit his polluted “Billabong” retreat,
make sure the only thing he swallows is what you excrete!
For the Sweet or Salty contest
Verlena S. Walker
cute love, funny love, gender, humor, humorous, nonsense, sweet,
A distinguish old gent picked up tricks.
On Halloween, he went for a treat.
He staggered up the street.
Hips swaying g-stringed a drag queen!
Penned on May 05, 2014.
baptism, beauty, city, eve, first love, funny, gender, god, history, independence day, mystery, mythology, night, obituary, raven, sea, silly, summer, sweet, teacher, world, yellow,
Lauren Hill slow songs thrill,
they pop like a fast moving pill,
I am flopped on top of a junk food bill,
and running with a skunk who tells me to take in my fill-
like leading um' on into my dream,
I create a festering lean,
I rank every thought in order of how I like it,
and prep for a long time that's gonna break all the cycles.
Striding with my shrine,
as I shock a spine,
revitalize and prime-
as I preen and primp and chimp-
as I act like a pimp,
I black out and gimp,
skimp out on my dying moment because death is no shrimp!
food, funny, holiday,
Don't want no fake
Tomorrow no weigh
Pour me some rum
crazy, earth day, funny love, high school, silly, student, sweet,
Ten minutes past time she enters,
She's too beautiful to be a teacher,
Her favorite short skirt exposes her thick thighs,
Lips red and pouting, she's a killer,
Right away my concentration flees,
Her and me far away at planet Jupiter,
With a bungalow and two exuberant kids,
I just wedded my teacher at Jupiter,
And it's Only within fifteen minutes,
Don't worry,Maybe we'll fix and visit earth later,
Bell rings,and she ends,
Only to notice,I didn't even open my locker,
Am back to Earth,not with her,but with several boys.
desire, god, humor, sorry, sweet,
From the top of my head
to the tip of my toes
there's nothing about me,
that God does not know.
He knows I am weak,
but in Him I am strong.
And what ever I do,
He sees my rights
and He sees my wrongs.
God, You know I'm not perfect,
and this cookie I eat,
tastes so delicious,
fresh baked and sweet.
Help me, God, to control
my diabetes today.
And give me a love
for more veggies, I pray.
(P.S., God, Can you make them taste sweet?
Like the cookies so tempting that I love to eat.)
childhood, funny, nostalgia, chocolate, , sweet love,
Nose pressed flat upto the glass,
Pockets tinkling full of brass;
Oblong jars,row on row
Candy -filled,to over flow.
Mintoes,chews and Pontefract cakes,
Limes and milk chocolate flakes;
Jelly beans and sweet love-hearts,
A few of each ,just to start.
Toffee whirls and butterscotch,
Long liquorice laces,all top-notch;
Aniseed balls,French bonbons,
Available now without coupons.
Sugared almonds and white mice,
Vanilla fudge,a penny a slice!
Just for starters a chocolate ice,
As it's going at half-price.
Barley sugar and a sherbert straw,
The shop bell tinkles as I close the door;
Is that th time! I'll have to skate,
Back into school,I can't be late.
beautiful, hate, humor, metaphor, political, sweet, world war i,
My alphabet soup,
it is getting very cold,
my microwave broke.
Once there was a man called Mike & Irk
got his sweetheart “sweet tooth” pop rocks,
Bon-bon, candy, lollipop, toffee
Wonka laffy taffy cherry
Bloody how could the “old salt” indulge in sweet-talk?
Written for the Contest "Sweet or salty?" by my friend Poet.Andrea Dietrich
birthday, fun, girl, happy, humor, sweet,
The candles are aglow on your birthday cake,
where a wish awaits for only you to make,
a cascade of confetti thrown by many a friend,
balloons and flowers, gifts and parties without end,
a year filled with new smiles and never a tear,
and with many heartfelt words of good cheer,
like those I have written right here on the page,
a happy birthday to you no matter what your age!
I wish you the happiest of birthdays, Linda! :)
Written by: Kelly Deschler
For Poet Destroyer's "Birthday Girl" contest.
(Yet, I meant every word of it!)