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L MILTON HANKINS
I once had a goat who loved to swim
I enrolled him at our local gym
I know, I know, it was just a whim!
He did rather well in beginners’ match
Girl swimmers thought him quite a catch
But he failed to get his lifesaver’s patch.
He punched a hole in the kiddie pool
So, I enrolled him in the ballet school
He butted heads with Master Abdul.
This kid simply couldn’t measure up
Until, finally, he won the Cannabis Cup
And with the money he bought a pup.
SIXTH PLACE WINNER
written April 6, 2022
for "Tail-Rhymed" poetry contest
sponsored by Jeff Kyser
animal, best friend, caregiving, dark, humor, pets, relationship,
My pet monster
best friend I ever had
through all the good times
and even all the bad
we walk the streets together
some people gawk and stare
when you moan "hi" to them
it gives them quite the scare
I don't mind when you drool
and your eyes roll in your head
your still totally cool
and always welcome in my bed
and when your limbs and tail
fall off and need repair
I can stitch them on again
I will always be right there
fun, humorous, science fiction, silver,
How can a robot know?
But I likes a piece of poetry
To set my circuits all aglow,
R2D2's just a drone,
Steve Austin he can barely scan
Robots generally 'e don't rhyme,
But a cyberman 'e can!
funny, imagination, introspection, people, philosophy,
They wake up emotionless every morning, guess who,
You don't speak to them until spoken to,
Your right, The Complainer Boo.
Their always right even when wrong, guess who,
that one across the table criticizing you,
your right ,The Complainer Boo.
Nothing pleases them at least for long, guess who,
boredom sets in and the world is wrong,
your right, The Complainer Boo.
Don't think you can change them it will never work,
Just consider your life has a little Quirk....
funny, lost love, satire,
My heart needs a tourniquet
For all the holes you burned in it...
So the bleeding stops!
You'll rue the day for this offense
And suffer without recompense...
My job's Special Ops!
Never given divorce much thought
Murder weapon haven't bought
Just a case of dog food
Upon demands of tasty hash
It will be ready in a flash
Onions seared big dude
Not the crying or weepy kind
Getting even is on my mind
Quietly I'll be rude*
Sponsor: Black-Eyed Susan
Contest: The Blues In Tail Rhyme
Written: March 9, 2014
*Note: I would never do this.
I saw it in a movie once where
a woman was being beaten
and abused by her husband..
My toe just stubbed
piano's iron foot.
It hurts like hell,
torments like a
Doc said: stay home,
don't walk, take a day
off or more.
I did, but now I'm
bored to death,
not only sore.
But boredom quickly
breeds some crazy
thoughts, you see.
Seems my easy chair
sits on me
colors I now hear,
sounds I now see.
I ache to be
stirred as sugar
in hot coffee !
I wish I could bake
I like to eat cake
But my culinary skills are crap
I go to a wake
Make some handshakes
Then leave with a sponge in my bag
Life without you is boring.
At least with you i felt like soaring.
Take my hand and we'll shoot for the stars.
I feel like a crazy bear always roaring.
I don't want to say this but could you please stop snoring?
I'll take off in a flash, but you know where to find me- at the bar.
Rat to Bat: "Sir, up close you look like a rat.
I"d like to call you cousin
if you won't mind that."
Bat to Rat: " No, impudent rodent, you're crass,
denizen of the gutter
without a touch of class.
You creep while I swoop, you crawl while I fly.
In evolution's totem pole
you're low, I'm high.
Im cousin of the larks, you're kin of the gnats.
Listen: Angels are to humans
as bats are to rats!"
All natural flavorings good
Especially added to teas, food
Beaver's castor gland
Is source of such a flavoring
Used in candy unwavering
Now starved after
Sponsor:Black Eyed Susan
Contest: Tail Rhyme Time
appreciation, food, funny, sweet,
Melts in Minute
Have Ice cream? So nice dream!
Just bake hot cake.
Soft to bite
Wait a minute.
Choose two in one cone or cup
No, butter scotch
Dark choco bar.
Taste lemon tart. Ice cake to start?
Or muffin just
So early on a Sunday morn
Our little Boy Blue was born.
Dad nearly blew his hat.
When Blue was born, Dad said with scorn
“On my son, no short pants are worn.”
Mom said, “We’ll see ‘bout that.”
April 18 2012
break up, humorous,
Although we’ve hardly even met
Your moniker I just don’t get
Truly I have no clue
Poet Destroyer, what’s with that?
I would not hang that on my cat!
I’m breaking up with you.
What's your necktie dangling for?
Too stiff, too thin to be a scarf,
a bib or an apron;
too smooth to be a hankie,
too short to be a suicide noose
to contemplate on!
It sits staring blankly at me
It says come here just try and see
Helping is what I do
Come on over is only plea
Free to come, free to go sweet pea
Try it bid weight adieu
daughter, family, father, children, funny, happiness, me,
Mystifying, magical melody
your first laughter is to me;
As blissful and as joyful as bliss
and joy can ever be;
Really you're much too young
to even smile, my dear;
Your lilting giggles, such
soothing music to my ear.
Gleefully you pinch my nose,
grab my hair, you little rose;
Readily you enchant me with
that toothless angel's smile;
And you bounce mirthfully
up and down my tummy;
Clapping small hands, innocent
eyes that let me see;
Eyes that mirror love for life,
for you from mom and me.
The Wanderer went a wandering
Down a winding Lane
The Wanderer went a wandering.
And was never seen again.
Now if you go a wandering,
down the lane He loved the most.
You might happen on the Wanderer.
But onley as a Gohst.
funny, on writing and words,
Vacation is over, my friend.
Four days and not one poem penned.
Muse, the holiday’s done.
Lift yourself off of your bar stool.
You’ve had your chance to be a fool.
There are words to be spun.
funny, on work and working, work, work,
The bosses are not here today.
Do I have to work for my pay?
Ceiling tiles need counting.
They are in Florida for 'business.'
I've a week to clean up this mess.
We work hard, partying.
Shucking corn fresh from the garden
It's not much fun language pardon
Tasty treat_sweet to eat
Lessons learned from this yucky chore
Tough shuck protects kernels galore
Pluck protects heart's soft meat
First time writing Tail-Rhyme
According to site:
Rhyming couple -eight syllables
Shorter line-does not rhyme
Then another couplet
Then a single line of fewer syllables
that rhymes with line three
But I have a question.....
It shows rhyme scheme as
aab,ccb but that is not what it
says in the printed part..
Which is correct?
What if our dogs could talk aloud?
What do you suppose they'd speak about?
Rabbits, birds, chasing things?
What if they thought to tell our tales?
Stories hidden, behind the veil.
Secrets, scandals, Everything!
TLH © 06-12-2012
Snapping those green beans, hear them pop
Hear my whimpering flop.
In the bucket,maybe could swap
Beans for good coffee stop
I am absconding
In secret I'll go to Whistle Stop
Hidden all from view shop
Green beans done now slurping
Blame it all on warm beer
at the stoplight.
The inside of my skull throbs
with the drone of tired traffic.
And windshield wipers whine
with my CD's old rock metallic.
Then, jolting my line of vision,
is a strapping, suspicious cop.
His clipboard and pen, enough
to make my sour hiccup stop.
Blame it all on warm beer
at the stoplight.
I went to my grandmas house and saw Rudolph.
I went outside, because I had to cool off.
She thought his nose was a red flashlight
that helped her see at night.
She used his antlers to hang her coats,
that smelled like fish, because she fished on boats.
Since he has brown fur, she thought he was a broken dog,
so she feed him fish, that he likes to hog.
All to himself he keeps the fish,
while I watched him eat,
in a corner by himself.
Than walked in a little elf,
that took him away,
so he can guide Santas slay.