Humorous and funny Thanksgiving poems and/or funny poems about Thanksgiving. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Thanksgiving funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Thanksgiving Poems.
food, humorous, thanksgiving,
Turkey so dry that I can’t speak
Brussel sprouts boiled for a week
Roast potatoes burnt to a crisp
Inspired by Andrea’s contest but not written for it!
food, funny, humor, thanksgiving,
The perfect way to avoid overeating this Thanksgiving is to put super glue on your lips.
If you're not able to eat your Thanksgiving dinner, it can't go straight to your hips.
That's the perfect way to avoid overeating this Thanksgiving.
But if you can't get your lips unstuck, one week later you'll no longer be living.
bird, food, holiday, humor, thanksgiving,
I feel a blockage has occurred...
It must have been all that stuffing and Turkey bird...
The gurgles, the rumbling, the passing of gas...
It’s beyond my control ,Oh dear, please let this pass...
We have guests you see...
So I don’t have the privilege to just get up and flee...
No one should ever be in this state...
And I should never have put so much on my plate...
Cause now I’m paying and to my demise ...
The rite of passage has been denied...
I feel like I may blow up and explode...
It’s times like this when you miss the commode...
Robert L. Hinshaw
Tom Turkey got lost 'midst the teeming flock,
Thus, avoiding the dreaded chopping block!
Hunkering down spared his life,
Averting the carving knife!
He now recovers from traumatic shock!
B. Joseph Fitzsimons
christmas, holiday, humor, humorous, seasons, thanksgiving, winter,
Once commenced the fest of feasting and giving thanks for genocide,
‘Tis the season to be jolly to replace our thoughts of suicide.
Santa claws his way into a child’s mind insidiously,
And the air begins to reek again of yuletide idiocy.
The bliss of belief in an ancient hippie turned into a homeless wizard,
Adjoins the joy of gifts from an obese geriatric myth flying in a blizzard.
Eight deer reign behind his ninth whose nose an eightball thaws,
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas,
It follows us everywhere we go,
Take a look and ask like Jack, “what’s this?”
And see it’s but blinding capitalism aglow.
funny, holiday, thanksgiving,
Written by Gail DeBole
When a turkey, who yearly escapes
From his owner's Thanksgiving plate,
Was asked to reveal
Why he's never a meal
He said, "That much of a turkey I ain't!"
Note: Thanksgiving is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of each November in the United States. President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed this as an official holiday in 1863.
Robert L. Hinshaw
Overheard at the annual convocation of a Butterball turkey flock:
"'Tis Thanksgiving again and as usual our necks are on the choppin' block!
Them pious Pilgrims began the tradition of dinin' on our hapless relations,
And ravenous *****sapiens have continued to do so fer many generations.
We're tired of 'em feastin' on our cousins, uncles, sisters and dads,
When there's tender chicken nuggets to be had by the scads and scads!
Now hear this dear brothers and sisters - this here's the bottom line:
We're gonna advertise that chicken is the better flesh upon which to dine!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved
beautiful, change, character, chocolate, food, fun, growing up, happy, heaven, humorous, i love you, imagination, inspiration, inspirational, introspection, joy, life, light, love, metaphor, philosophy, self, simple, strength, success, thank you, thanks, thanksgiving, time, today, truth, uplifting, visionary, wisdom, words,
Why can’t I have the chocolate one
I want more
She took my cookie
Hers is bigger than mine
I want to trade
That’s not fair
Thank you for the cookie
I love you
Thanks for all you do for me
I am satisfied
This is good
I am loved
Written By Deborah Finneran :) 2013
bird, farm, grief, humorous, thanksgiving,
Poor Thomas Turkey,
Alone in his pen.
Sits solemn and scared,
For they 'did in' his hen.
They took her off Sunday,
Then snuffed out her life.
And now he's alone,
Cause they've eaten his wife.
Thanksgiving now over,
He preens with relief.
He can muster a gobble,
Along with his grief.
He pecks round his pen,
For some 'scratch' sprinkled there.
Grows quite happy again,
Not remotely aware . .
That Christmas is coming
For family and friend,
And for Christmas, at dinner;
They'll eat turkey again.
© 2015 Diane Lefebvre
anniversary, caregiving, christmas, devotion, family, freedom, girlfriend, growing up, holiday, home, hope, humorous, imagination, journey, life, love, marriage, people, relationship, romantic, satire, song, song-thanksgiving, uplifting,
On the 12th day of kiss-mass my true love sent to me
12 dirty undies
11 socks a stinking
10 shoes a humming
9 shirts for pressing
7 days of take-out boxes
6 flagons of beer
5 D V D's
4 mischievous children
3 dozen wine bottles
2 ex partners
and an engagement ring under the tree
confusion, funny, holiday, philosophy, social,
With "plenty" this culture's endowed
Bad outcomes are never allowed!
But nature's stealthy
And notes for the wealthy
Silver linings come with a cloud
animal, food, funny, holiday, humorous, thanksgiving,
The man had a tough choice to make
Which of the birds should he take?
Both turkeys looked good
But he thought that he should
Take the jenny instead of the jake.
funny, holiday, day,
Thanksgiving is a day to be grateful,
Not a day to be grumpy or hateful.
But a burnt pumpkin pie,
And a turkey that's dry,
Might make it hard to be elateful.*
*(I realize elateful is not a word, but I claim poetic
fun, humor, political, thanksgiving day,
Now pouts the ex-president Trumpty
his turkey-day gravy’s all lumpy
he’s down on his luck
for he’s a lame duck
his a** voters threw in the dumpty
November 26, 2020
~ Second Place ~
Contest: Out On A Lim
Sponsor: Joseph May
Harold Hunt Sr
The turkey was placed on the table.
Pies in the oven baking.
The football game on tv.
Grandma yells"dinner on"
Went all of a sudden the turkey is gone. Can't be found nowhere.
The back door was open, but no one was there.
When grandpa yells pizza again!
There was no Thanksgiving dinner this night.
For the dogs on the corner had a joy.
While we sat and gave blessing for the pizza boy
It's pizza thanksgiving not turkey this year.
bird, humorous, thanksgiving,
Let’s push for the turkey to be the national bird
So many birds could be spared, so spread the word
Every turkey should be pushing for congress
To help them out of their mass slaughtering mess
If the turkey becomes the national bird
Maybe their clucking will still be heard
They could become a protected species
Rather than be in tasty thanksgiving recipes
Turkey’s vote for thanksgiving to be banned
Then there will be even more turkey’s ruling the land!
N/A in original contest
funny, hilarious, holiday, humor, humorous,
Thanksgiving? Oh no! Not again!
I meet each one with chagrin
Such rejoicing, good fun
Well, ‘cept me … I’m the Turkey, you see.
( THANKSGIVING WITHOUT TURKEY )
I sat at the table, eager to eat
To have my fill, right at my seat
My father carved the Turkey
A wonderful sight
My mother asked me “dark meat or white”?
But just before my plate came near
My little dog Edgar pulled up from the rear
He jumped on the table in a single bound
Landing in the middle with nary a sound
He landed on my Turkey
One and all could see
And right there Edgar decided to pee
I shook in horror, I quaked in fright
But in the end, I knew Edgar was right
He’s just a dog, and did what dogs do
I could not be angry, but I told him to shoo
So mother cleaned the table, and discarded the Turkey
And in it's place we had beef jerky!
Deprived pilgrim wives ruminated
On ways to get hubbies elated:
After Thanksgiving chow
Ogling men hollered “wow!”
As wet-shirted women they rated.
humor, thanksgiving, thanksgiving day,
Now on this thanksgiving day
Whilst you wash your dinner away
With wine and coffee creamy topped
And listen to the music bop
I wish you all the turkey trots
© Copyright K.C.Leake
27th November 2015
All Rights Reserved
child, humor, thanksgiving day,
The children at the table,
all bowed their heads to pray,
and said what they were thankful for,
on this Thanksgiving day.
Then last to speak
was little wide-eyed Pegs,
"Thank you, Jesus," she prayed,
"for making turkey legs."
bereavement, death, emotions, farewell, feelings, humor, metaphor,
Hospital bedside mourning
The turkey has passed
funny, holiday, thanksgiving,
Who brought the Spam to the first Thanksgiving?
The Pilgrims brought the Spam I think
The Indian’s brought something to drink
Though history books do not repeat it
There's more to do with corn then eat it
A spurkey is a wondrous sight
All pink and juicy if cooked right
Shaping it's a little quirky
But you can make it look like turkey
So what's your pleasure, breast or thigh?
Or other part you'd like to try?
No light or dark meat, it's a shame
All the parts taste just the same
The best part is, there is no waste
And also, you don't have to baste
But unlike birds raised in a coop
There are no bones for sprukey soup
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone
blessing, humor, thanksgiving,
Let’s thank God for this turkey day
But all of the birds have runaway
They must of seen the axe
Don’t think they could relax
Left all their feathers in the hay
© Copyright K.C.Leake
26th November 2015
All Rights Reserved
funny, holidaythanksgiving, thanksgiving day,
Tummy, Tummy, oh poor Tummy!
Heaping, steaming platters behold.
A bounty splendorous and yummy,
Nuts to pies to cranberry mold.
Kitchen simmering with flavor,
Smells that cause the nose to rise.
Gather in a whiff to savor,
Indulge behind two droopy eyes.
Voices lure you from your dreaming,
Invite you to your favored chair,
Give you silverware all gleaming,
Do together a Thanksgiving prayer.
And, Tummy, Tummy stop your stressing …
Yams, green beans, creamed corn, rolls with butter, celery sticks and carrot sticks,
mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, turkey and … dressing