Humorous and funny Tortoise poems and/or funny poems about Tortoise. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Tortoise funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Tortoise Poems.
There once was a hare who searched for love
who combed the fair forest high above
he swam through the loch
looked under each rock
when at last found his sweet turtledove
black african american, fun, funny, silly,
If a turtle could.
He would walk faster- maybe.
Find some dynamite.
animal, destiny, funny, health, natural disasters,
Dedicated to my favourite poet - Shelley
If a tortoise, if a turtle
You are never going to hurtle
Witness how your limbs are placed
Splayed east to west, all carapaced
what if some meat-eating moron,
Jonesing for a snack to gnaw on,
sees you sumo-stepping by
thinks "Hey look - a fresh meat pie"?
Running will beget disaster
You beat a hare so now you're faster?
You let your tasty bits protrude
and pretty soon they're getting chewed
No! Stop to suck your vitals in,
and hope he likes his toothy grin
Cause it's going to get busted
your gooey filling's well encrusted
candy, desire, fun, funny, funny love, humor, humorous,
Cranked a surprise with his jack in the box
Chained stays my flower in chastity locks
Power down, without T. V
Painful night crawled tauntingly
Deafened by raised legs' rotate inside clocks
30th August 2020
Written for Contest : Fun With Limericks
Sponsor : Tania Kitchin
Syllables are: 10, 10, 7, 7, 10
My Tortoise started barking
so I took it for a walk,
I put him on a little leash
which made the neighbours talk,
I threw a tiny stick for him
in the local park,
but by the time he brought it back,
it was getting pretty dark,
I taught him how to sit and beg,
give me his front paw,
he goes and fetches all the mail
when it comes through the door,
all the things I've taught him,
are I think pretty swell,
he looks at me, shakes his head
and goes into his shell.
We invited the new family to Sunday tea.
Who knew they would all tortoises be?
We pretended it was normal, Gram and me.
They did not reach for a single chocolate chip cookie.
Go out and catch some flies, said Auntie Bea.
They like them fresh and alive with their tea.
The way she knew was funny to little old me.
She used to date an old tortoise, you see.